math teacher Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Ds just finished college with a bachelor's degree. We have financially supported him for the most part. He has some student loans, got a couple grants the last year, and worked in the cafeteria for awhile. Just yesterday, we sent a couple thousand dollars to his account. He has a good chance of getting a job soon, and hopefully can support himself when that happens. My question is, what about a graduation gift? Since we already support him so much, do we still give him a gift (which would probably be money)? I hate to sound crass and petty. Please be gentle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) I don't think there's any right or wrong, and of course it depends on your financial circumstances and your particular family culture. We paid 100 percent for our boys' education and also gave each of them a modest gift--we had their degrees professionally framed. We also threw a small graduation party for DS24. We would have done the same for DS21, but he didn't want one. We certainly didn't feel any need to give them a large monetary gift. Edited June 6, 2020 by Pawz4me 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) Personally, I'd think the very recent deposit into his account of "getting started" money can be counted as an 'official' graduation present. And a very generous one too! I don't think you have to give an 'official' gift, and if I were him, I'd be very thankful for all your financial support so far. If you want to get him some 'official' gift, I'd consider something that might be useful in his chosen career - maybe a nice suit if he would be expected to wear one, quality suitcase if he will be traveling much, nice pen if that would be meaningful and useful, magazine subscription for continuing education (assuming employer won't cover these) - stuff like that. But I don't think it is necessary. And so much depends upon finances at home. And I wouldn't feel bad about not getting anything official. Your graduation gift has been the generous continued stretched-out financial support through the years of college. Edited June 6, 2020 by Bambam 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 One idea: Write him a letter of encouragement and pride. If it's in the budget, an interview suit would be nice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vmsurbat1 Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 The two things we've done have already been mentioned: Framed diplomas for the children with a good financial future ahead of them, interview suits for those who would need them to get hired. For us, we always had to pay $$$$ to attend graduation as we live overseas, so no child had any expectation of grand gifts. They were just glad we could be there..... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Text him today: "We put your graduation gift in your account yesterday!" 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 I would count that couple thousand as his graduation gift 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) Was yesterday's money a gift? Then call that the gift and don't worry about a physical gift. For ds21 Bachelors', I gave him cash toward his loans. He was very happy with that arrangement. For his MA, I paid for half of his trip to Israel. He was offered a chance to go with a group, but he was debating on whether to go or not due to cost. I offered to let that be his gift and he happily accepted. Edited June 6, 2020 by Tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 My parents gave me a couple of gifts that I've appreciated for the last 30+ years. One is my Seiko wristwatch with my university's seal on the face that still works. The other is that they paid for a lifetime membership to the alumni association--something I would not have been able to put up the money for just starting out. I get the quarterly school magazine and a discount at the bookstore with that. You don't have to do anything beyond what you've done, but if there is something that would be meaningful forever (like framing the diploma as mentioned above), that might be appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 Agreeing with the framed degree. My dh is DIYing the frame for our ds, so it will be a bit more meaningful. I'm always looking for sentimental connections with gifts. Most of our gifts are either cash or photo-related. 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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