I feel so overwhelmed with choices, and inferior

[Charmom3]

So I've bit the bullet and will HS my 10yo DD next year for 5th. I *think* I'm sold on Bookshark E - she loves non fiction history, and we'll both enjoy the time together. 

My issue is that reading this forum makes me think I'm failing her and my 2 others (who are staying in PS) because what y'all are teaching your kids compared to mine and what they know. I know comparison is the theif of joy, I am just scared HS will hurt her more than it will help her. 

She was adopted by us at 5, without knowing her numbers, letters, colors and was our oldest, so I didn't know how off that was, so I didn't retain her. She's continued to struggle but we've worked very diligently to help advance her reading, general vocab. and expression, and number sense. She's still not at grade level, but is only slightly below average. 

She wants to HS after being home these months, and I've noticed HUGE GAINS. I'm so sold, as is she and DH. Before, she'd come home from school and would have to be retaught her math and grammar in order to do HW, and wasn't getting enough personal attention to reteach all the things she was missing at school. She needs more personal attention, and I love being able to give that. 

Like I said, I have a curriculum picked, and I'm sure I could hit the basic ELA, math, history, science.... But I'm not teaching her Latin or doing unit studies and I feel like I'm doing this all wrong and she's not going to be well rounded enough. We just finished Charlotte's Web, and couldn't fathom reading some of the 9/10 readalouds y'all have recommended, and I feel like if I worked harder with her she'd be able to. So I've failed her. She'd rather watch TV than play, color, read, or really do anything else. She'd just stare into space rather than do those things unless told to.

Like I said, idk what this post was for, I'm just feeling confused about what all to choose. I chose Bookshark E, Saxon 6/5, Spelling You See E, and The Good and the Beautiful handwriting (she can't really write or read cursive).... I want more grammar and writing... I'm thinking Evan Moor Daily 6 trait writing and daily grammar... I also want her to learn the 50 states. Nothing fancy, just names, locations, general regional knowledge... I also REALLY need a general critical thinking/logic skills book. I was looking at this Critical Thinking Co. book. I also want to do a vocab program with her. There are so many options, I'm afraid I'll pick the wrong one. Is that enough? Do I need to add a language? She says she wants to learn French, so I want to accommodate that because she rarely expresses interest in learning anything. 

I am just afraid I won't be helping her, and she'll fall further behind. I keep telling myself this choice is just as much for bonding as it is for education, but I keep worrying I'm failing them all by not spending all my time teaching them all these things. Some of the stuff y'all teach I've never heard of. I'm afraid they're missing out because they're not learning ALL this stuff... 

 

 

[Calm37]

51 minutes ago, Charmom3 said:

Like I said, idk what this post was for, I'm just feeling confused about what all to choose. I chose Bookshark E, Saxon 6/5, Spelling You See E, and The Good and the Beautiful handwriting (she can't really write or read cursive).... 

 

That is so awesome to hear how your daughter is thriving at home. That's plenty of "school stuff" that you've chosen for now. Get those things going well, and I think you will be pleased with the progress she will continue to make. You can always add more later if you find you need it and fill in any holes. You don't want either one of you to get overwhelmed at the start. Take it easy!

Oh, and we all have chosen programs that we didn't end up really liking for one reason or another. That is just part of it. Resell it and move on if that happens.

Edited June 2, 2020 by Calm37

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

You are on a classical homeschool forum. By nature there will be some fairly rigorous homeschoolers here. There are also lots of parents homeschooling gifted kids. But there’s plenty of us who are homeschooling average kids, in average ways. My kids have never done Latin and we probably won’t. We aren’t doing unit studies typically. This year we did MFW which is a little like a unit study but not really. My kids would much rather stare at a screen than do anything else. I’m constantly fighting against that. And we love read aloud like Charlotte’s Web.

     My 10yo will be in 6th next year (he has November birthday in a state with a Dec 31 cut off). We call him 6th because that’s what grade he would be in had we put him in school. The curricula we use is all over the map. He’ll be doing Singapore math next year starting in 5B, history with his 8th grade sister, Science in the Beginning, and Learning Language Arts Through Literature. Reading/writing/spelling has been a big struggle for him. We’re making progress but it hasn’t clicked yet. He did the 3rd grade LLATL last year and it was a good fit for him with just enough challenge, and it’s considered by many to be a bit “behind” already. I’m not too worried about it. My soon to be 8th grader didn’t finally click with reading until she was 11. We just work on it consistently and as long as he’s making progress I’m happy. 

    The most important thing is to meet your daughter where she’s at and it sounds like you’re doing that. You know your child best. You sound like a wonderful, caring mother who is doing what’s best for your child. A little worry along with that is normal but try not to. Trust yourself. Your plan sounds great. Good luck to you! 

[Charmom3]

Y'all really cheered me up. Thank you! 

[Tree Frog]

2 hours ago, mms said:

For the fifty states we just sing memory songs and I have a map up. Easy Peasy.

We put a map (sometimes country specific, sometimes regional or world) on our table and covered it with clear vinyl. We had so many discussions about locations, geography, lines of latitude and longitude, Greenwich mean time, all over the course of about 6 years. We haven't had a map on the table for the last 8 years, when the vinyl cover broke and I didn't make another one, but our 2 college aged kids at home still talk about it.

OP, start easy and build up. Give yourself time. As you and your dd get going, you'll see things to add (or remove), ways to incorporate information without a formal curriculum. We found homeschooling to be a lifestyle change, a way of learning all the time, not just during school hours. 

My kids were taught cursive, but I just found out my 18 yo son can't read it very well. It's not taught in the schools anymore and I've found we don't see it very often at all, mostly due to texting/typed words.

Give yourself grace. Find where you can buy/sell online. Used curriculum is a blessing if you can't afford new each time.

[2_girls_mommy]

I just want to say you don't need to look for unit studies. You've picked a curriculum that's done all the planning for you. I've never done that one, but I think it kind of acts like a unit study- tying your topics together, but I'm not a hundred percent sure. 

And FYI, all kids are different. I'm raising three beautiful, extremely intelligent girls. One is educationally gifted which comes with great things like fantastic curiosity, self led learning often, great standardized test scores, etc. Motivation to do things that she's interested in. But giftedness can come with some really really tough issues to deal with that I won't discuss for my dd's privacy. 

My next one, raised in the same atmosphere didn't care to learn to read and write and was later found to have dyslexic symptoms. She's an amazing, artistic kid who keeps busy on self-directed art projects that I would have never thought of. So much fun. But she definitely didn't start Algebra in middle school. She struggles with tests. Academics take a lot of repetition. It's not because we've neglected her as I am sure you haven't yours! 

 And my next is still tiny, and seems to progress pretty much within the average ranges of things do far. So I've had them all across the spectrum. Homeschooling lets me work with each as needed individualizing their curriculum. But it also means that my student that needs more help with math or therapy for reading can still get exposed to Latin and master some if I want to put in the time. She gets as much art as she craves- museum visits, nice art supplies for every holiday gift, all the YouTube tutorials she wants, encouragement to use her gifts for creating in new areas like cooking or other things to expand her exposures. 

You get to help her become the person she's meant to be. Try your curric, see if you like it. Work however is needed with her, not focused on getting through the lessons but on helping her really learn them. Get to know her and what might help her find her gifts as you go!

On the TV, you'll have to work on helping her learn things to do at home. Believe me, my six year would love to watch animal.youtube videos or Netflix cartoons all day! But I have to put up with the crying when I tell her no, even though she knows there is no TV during weekdays most of the time. I set up activities. I make sure we've got fun things to do and come up with activities for her to do. I don't make her do my things if she wants to sit and draw thirty million paper butterflies and cut them out and leave them all over my table. But I have ideas of things to do to help her if she needs them. And I embrace the craftiness and mess. Clean up is just always ongoing. 

Edited June 2, 2020 by 2_girls_mommy

[ScoutTN]

OP, it sounds to me as though you are doing fine. Glad to hear that your daughter is doing well at home. Ease in and make adjustments as you go. 

Read Alouds can be far over a child's actual reading level, as long as she is engaged in listening.  If you haven't already, check out the Read Aloud Revival webpage and podcast.

Audiobooks are fun too. Stories.audible.com has free streaming right now with loads of children's classics.

 

 

[alisoncooks]

Not everyone here is classically schooling their children.  For starters, I could not care less about Latin. 😉

Also, even among those of us who have homeschooled from the get go, there are kids who struggle or are working below grade level. My girls, for sure, are not reading college level texts or anything like. 

[....]

14 hours ago, Charmom3 said:

My issue is that reading this forum makes me think I'm failing her and my 2 others (who are staying in PS) because what y'all are teaching your kids compared to mine and what they know. I know comparison is the theif of joy, I am just scared HS will hurt her more than it will help her. 

Like I said, idk what this post was for, I'm just feeling confused about what all to choose. I chose Bookshark E, Saxon 6/5, Spelling You See E, and The Good and the Beautiful handwriting (she can't really write or read cursive).... I want more grammar and writing... I'm thinking Evan Moor Daily 6 trait writing and daily grammar... I also want her to learn the 50 states. Nothing fancy, just names, locations, general regional knowledge... I also REALLY need a general critical thinking/logic skills book. I was looking at this Critical Thinking Co. book. I also want to do a vocab program with her. There are so many options, I'm afraid I'll pick the wrong one. Is that enough? Do I need to add a language? She says she wants to learn French, so I want to accommodate that because she rarely expresses interest in learning anything. 

I am just afraid I won't be helping her, and she'll fall further behind. I keep telling myself this choice is just as much for bonding as it is for education, but I keep worrying I'm failing them all by not spending all my time teaching them all these things. Some of the stuff y'all teach I've never heard of. I'm afraid they're missing out because they're not learning ALL this stuff... 

 

We've used several Sonlight cores (100, 200 Lit, 300 and I'm probably buying K this fall).  You probably know that Bookshark is the secular version of Sonlight.  It's absolutely fine.  You are not going to be ruining your child's education.  Math, spelling, handwriting...those are fine choices.  You can add grammar.  I think the lower levels of SL offer grammar, too, but if you like Evan Moor, then go for it.  I don't like the critical thinking books or vocabulary workbooks.  I tried that one year and it was basically busywork for us.  Don't feel pressured into adding stuff like that, because you think your kid isn't going to get a good education.  You can add it, but don't feel like you have to.  

Languages - you can add a language, but don't feel like you have to until high school.  For French, there's actually a lot out there for self-study.  And one of my kids hated Latin, too.  I thought she would cry every time I got it out - anything from Memoria Press makes my kids cry.  lol  

Be careful reading this forum and then making decisions based off other people's opinions.  I did that when we first started homeschooling and it was a disaster.  My sisters homeschooled, so I've been able to watch the process most of my life.  One ended up an attorney and the other a nurse practitioner.  My oldest graduated and my second oldest graduates in December.  With all that, I actually disagree with a lot of posts on this forum.  So, take what others say with a grain of salt.  If someone says their 4th grader just started Algebra 1, don't feel like your 4th grader is behind if you're still trying to work on multiplication/division.

And a lot of what they learn by homeschooling isn't academics.  They'll learn a lot just by being around adults all day and being in the real world.  Give them enough free time and they'll pick up skills/knowledge just because it's something they're interested in.

[cintinative]

It can be easy to be distracted by those with advanced kids on here.  

I find it encouraging to look at the 8th grade planning thread, 7th grade planning thread, etc. because there is SUCH a diversity of curriculum used by members.  You don't always see that every day in the posts, but there is a full spectrum of approaches.  😃 It's nice to see that we are not all doing the same thing and to see people mentioning they didn't do the same thing for all of their kids.  

There are many homeschool approaches. My understanding is that, in a perfect world, if we had a divided cafeteria tray to put each one in, "classical" would be in one, and "unit studies" would be in another.  For that matter, "traditional" would be in one, and "Charlotte Mason" would be in another. The reality (for most of us on here) is that there is one plate that has no dividers with a little of several different things on it and the sweet potatoes are sort of oozing into the turkey and the cranberry sauce (think Thanksgiving).  We take the pieces we like from the different approaches and create our own unique "dinner."  There is no "one" way to make your plate--it's totally specific to you and your child.

I have two screen addicts here. It's *really* hard to fight against that, especially right now (pandemic). My husband is a big gamer/screen user. So there can be family dynamics that make the use of non-homeschool time different.  There is more I could say about our particular challenges there, but that's another thread. Just know you are not alone and all of us homeschoolers are not perfect in the area of limiting screens. 

[Clemsondana]

No matter what you choose, you'll see an enthusiastic discussion here and think 'I should be doing that!' but in the end, you can't do everything.  People post lovely descriptions of nature study and poetry teas.  My kids might have enjoyed those, or might not...but they do Science Olympiad competitions, and there are only so many hours in a day, and even though they are advanced kids the reality is that many kids will have a better arts education than mine do...and if I focused more time on art, or poetry, then many kids would have a better science education.  We never read aloud long fiction books, which is a staple activity for many families.  My kids don't like it, and I don't like doing it.  When I'd see people talking about their read-alouds, I'd kind of feel bad about it...but my kids know a good bit about gardening, which is how we spend some of our leisure time...and there are only so many hours in a day.  🙂   

It's the same with curriculum.  There are lots of good options, but you can't do them all.  If something doesn't work, you can figure out why and change directions.  No choice needs to be an ongoing problem - it will either work, suffice, or be a learning experience. 

[ScoutTN]

Agreeing with Cintinative, almost all homeschoolers who have been in it for more than a couple of years and/or have more than one child are ecclectic. We find a mix of what we love, what works best for our kids, what we can afford, new and old, simple and complex. Mix in specific interests, extracurriculars, and worldview, and the results are stupendously varied. It's glorious, actually! 

First premise of homeschooling: Parents are the primary educators of their children. 

Second premise: One size does not fit all. 

Edited June 5, 2020 by ScoutTN

[KrissiK]

I agree with everything that is said above, and my two cents is....

1) Consistency. Yes, life does tend to get in the way, but unless every thing is totally chaotic every day, find a rhythm and a routine and stick with it. Whatever that is. I think that works more toward a good learning experience than perfect curriculum.

2) Don’t chase after every new shiny thing. I have a tendency myself to think, “oooh, that sounds good”, but honestly, if it really isn’t broke, don’t change it.  Kids aren’t going to like everything you do, but that doesn’t mean it is not working. School isn’t going to be happy happy yay yay every day. To me not working means tears every day, and no progress being made. It doesn’t mean, “I don’t like math” from my artistic girl who always has a book in her hand.

[ScoutTN]

32 minutes ago, KrissiK said:

I agree with everything that is said above, and my two cents is....

1) Consistency. Yes, life does tend to get in the way, but unless every thing is totally chaotic every day, find a rhythm and a routine and stick with it. Whatever that is. I think that works more toward a good learning experience than perfect curriculum.

2) Don’t chase after every new shiny thing. I have a tendency myself to think, “oooh, that sounds good”, but honestly, if it really isn’t broke, don’t change it.  Kids aren’t going to like everything you do, but that doesn’t mean it is not working. School isn’t going to be happy happy yay yay every day. To me not working means tears every day, and no progress being made. It doesn’t mean, “I don’t like math” from my artistic girl who always has a book in her hand.

Yes, this!

[mathmarm]

This is a time when the 10 Commandments of Homeschooling are helpful to read and mediate on.

I know that for me, it is VERY discouraging to ask for advice and be *tsked, tsked* by the more experienced homeschoolers who assure me that I don't need a program for X or Y.

I usually wind up feeling overwhelmed or inadequate after being advised by some of the really experienced homeschoolers and all that they've accomplished with their kids, even the ones with various learning disabilities.

But I try and be very gentle with myself. I'm still learning. I'm still growing. I recognize that for certain things, I need resources even if other HSers didn't or dont. Or if in the 1990s resources for that thing weren't available to homeschoolers.  Rather than focus on how much better someone else is/was at this stage in the HS game than me, I remember that I don't have to have everything figured out now and I don't need it all figured out before I tackle today, or this week or even this semester.

One step at a time.

Edited June 2, 2020 by mathmarm

[Momto6inIN]

Echoing what you've heard so far ... if you've seen visible improvements just since covid started then you're already doing a great job! The point of education is to take each person where they are and then progress to the next level, and you're doing that.

Most kids need some "deschooling" time to adjust from an environment where most of their tine and energy is directed towards activities chosen by others to the freedom to pick what they want to learn. It might take some time for her to show an interest in anything. That's normal.

Keep reading out loud something that interests her and is above her current level (what she's able to read to herself) everyday and don't stop til she graduates. This is the single most important thing you can ever do as a parent or a teacher, period.

Your first year is a good time to do a package like Bookshark. It's a high quality program so you will not be shortchanging her one bit. But over the year of using it you will almost certainly find things you don't like about it or don't fit your teaching or her learning style. Most of us aren't using what we started off with, and that's normal too. It doesn't mean you picked a bad program, it means you're getting more confident in your choices.

This board can be intimidating, but It's also full of a lot more normal people than you think LOL It's also full of incredibly helpful, kind, and intelligent people with a lot of experience under their belts and who will inspire you with confidence that you can do it too!

And psssst ... we don't do Latin either 😉

[DuploHouse]

"Bookshark E, Saxon 6/5, Spelling You See E, and The Good and the Beautiful handwriting" sounds like a great start to me. I believe bookshark is only 4 days a week so do a unit study on the states on the 5th day. Mama she's only 10 and you said yourself not 100% at grade level, so take it a little easy!

Have her look at Muzzy, Dino Lingo or Rosetta Stone for French and pick one.

Also keep in mind nobody is publishing their bad hair days on the internet, so take all the self publicity with a grain of salt.

[Hadley]

I have nothing erudite to add.  You have received some great feedback here already.

I have been watching homeschool programs and graduates for over ten years now.  I have seen every approach in the book.  I find it reassuring that I have seen very successful and HAPPY graduates from many different homeschools.  I am a huge believer in parent involvement being the magic juice in a successful homeschool (or any type of school) outcome.  You’ve got that!  Your children will do quite well...

[fourisenough]

Start out with just a few curriculums/subjects and build confidence. After you feel secure with them, assess your days and decide if anything is missing. If so, add one thing at a time. The best curriculum is the one that gets done. 
 

Would your child enjoy listening to audiobooks? I love the idea of reading aloud to mine, but it puts me right to sleep. On the contrary, we all love listening to audiobooks (while coloring, building with LEGO, folding laundry, etc). We are exposed to loads of great vocabulary and hear many more works of classic literature than we could ever read. I think it’s a great way to ‘catch up’ a child who is just beginning homeschooling. Not that you need to feel the pressure to catch up— just enjoy learning together at her pace and have fun doing it! 

[BlsdMama]

On 6/1/2020 at 6:31 PM, Charmom3 said:

 

Like I said, I have a curriculum picked, and I'm sure I could hit the basic ELA, math, history, science.... But I'm not teaching her Latin or doing unit studies and I feel like I'm doing this all wrong and she's not going to be well rounded enough. We just finished Charlotte's Web, and couldn't fathom reading some of the 9/10 readalouds y'all have recommended, and I feel like if I worked harder with her she'd be able to. So I've failed her. She'd rather watch TV than play, color, read, or really do anything else. She'd just stare into space rather than do those things unless told to.

Like I said, idk what this post was for, I'm just feeling confused about what all to choose. I chose Bookshark E, Saxon 6/5, Spelling You See E, and The Good and the Beautiful handwriting (she can't really write or read cursive).... I want more grammar and writing... I'm thinking Evan Moor Daily 6 trait writing and daily grammar... I also want her to learn the 50 states. Nothing fancy, just names, locations, general regional knowledge... I also REALLY need a general critical thinking/logic skills book. I was looking at this Critical Thinking Co. book. I also want to do a vocab program with her. There are so many options, I'm afraid I'll pick the wrong one. Is that enough? Do I need to add a language? She says she wants to learn French, so I want to accommodate that because she rarely expresses interest in learning anything. 

I am just afraid I won't be helping her, and she'll fall further behind. I keep telling myself this choice is just as much for bonding as it is for education, but I keep worrying I'm failing them all by not spending all my time teaching them all these things. Some of the stuff y'all teach I've never heard of. I'm afraid they're missing out because they're not learning ALL this stuff... 

 

 

You are VERY much being too hard on yourself.  Most of us fumbled through the first year of homeschooling.  I picked up TWTM (the book) and followed it to the letter for kindergaren.  We are constantly switching something up, tweaking something, noticing a gap! That's OKAY.  That's not failing.  When you see a gap or recognize some bit of knowledge you want to fill, do that.  

Kids like easy.  Hmm... handwriting practice or my favorite cartoon? The adult equivalent is do dishes or watch a favorite show? LOL, as adults we recognize the need to do dishes, but....
I did Latin with my oldest, later she did Latin with a tutor.  It had value.  She found it useful in college.  That said? I've never taught it to another child.  Sometimes what is so difficult is when we fill the role of mom and teacher, we feel the weight of everything spinning on us and we can't keep up.  It's okay to pick and choose.  It's okay to do some good things and not do other good things.  It's okay to let kiddo watch a tv show.  

She's 10 and I think that's a valuable piece of information here.  You said already she's made progress! Do not brush over that lightly!  Can't build a house in a day and if you tried it, it'd be a rickety shack at best.  Lay the foundation, learn together, enjoy the journey.  Choose to do good things AND choose down time.  What does not serve you well? Burning out.  Pace yourself.  Latin for two years and French for high school?  Some of these things scaffold so you don't do them concurrently. ❤️ 

You can do this.

[Violet Crown]

Yes, what everybody else has said. This can be like Instagram; you're not hearing the disaster stories. Maybe someone should start an "encourage the new folks with tales of failure" thread. When my youngest was your daughter's age, she could barely get through a picture book. It was okay. She had her own timetable.

On 6/1/2020 at 6:31 PM, Charmom3 said:

But I'm not teaching her Latin

<climbs onto soapbox> The only reason to learn something is in order to know that thing. Do you want her to be able to read Latin? Because that's the only reason to learn it. We're really, really big on Latin in our homeschool, and Middle Girl intends to major in Classics. I do not get, pace Wise/Bauer, the notion that everyone has to learn Latin because it [makes you think logically / helps you learn English roots / prepares you for Romance languages / is the Classical Thing To Do]. We learn Latin so as to read Virgil, Martial, and the Vulgate. Are these things you want her to do? Or are there other things you want? Because all of those other goals -- logic, roots, Italian, whatever -- are better achieved by learning them directly. <climbs down>

On 6/1/2020 at 6:31 PM, Charmom3 said:

She says she wants to learn French, so I want to accommodate that because she rarely expresses interest in learning anything.

You might look at Skoldo French. Do you have any French, even just a year or two? If so you can use any traditional Year 1 French program. I hear good things about So You Really Want to Learn French (Galore Park), but haven't used it. I use an old BJU Year 1 French that I picked up used and cheap.

Years ago, I got together with a couple other homeschool moms and we hired the director of a local French Academy for children to teach a little weekly French class for our kids. It worked out really well, and she was so enthusiastic about teaching homeschoolers that she's now teaching multiple sections, and this year took Middle Girl through the equivalent of AP French Literature. There's a lot of people who are really good at subjects who haven't even thought of hiring out to homeschoolers. Are you anywhere near a college? A graduate student in French might like to pick up some extra $ and get some K-12 teaching experience on her CV. Again, see if any other parents in your area are interested. They don't even have to be homeschoolers.

Edited June 4, 2020 by Violet Crown

[Garga]

@Charmom3  The first year of homeschooling is very much an experiment for the entire family.  Some of the stuff you plan on doing will probably not work out the way you thought and you’ll ditch those things entirely.  Other things will work so-so and you’ll get through the curric and then switch it up for something better the next year, or maybe even mid-year. And some things will be a great fit right from the get-go. It’s hard to tell which will be which until you jump in and start.

It’s ok not to have all the answers and feel a little unsettled right now. Plans that sound great on paper don’t always work when implemented. That’s normal. You’ll adjust and it’ll be fine.

And you’re right not to compare too much.  Read what others are doing and take any ideas from them that will work for you, but don’t fret if you can’t fit in everything someone else is doing. Different kids have different needs and abilities. Over time you’ll have a better and better sense of what your daughter needs, and you’ll meet those needs.

You can do this!! You’ve already been doing it. You’re just taking the next step.  

 

 

Edited June 5, 2020 by Garga

[lewelma]

16 hours ago, Violet Crown said:

Yes, what everybody else has said. This can be like Instagram; you're not hearing the disaster stories. Maybe someone should start an "encourage the new folks with tales of failure" thread.

I thought my youngest was on track with writing all through primary school. I knew he couldn't spell and he was a slow writer, but I must have had my head in the sand.  I scaffolded so much, that I just did not see what was right in front of my face. In the end, at age 12, I back tracked 6 years, and restarted dictation of the Cat in the Hat.  I came to understand that it was not that he could not spell, but rather than he had no idea of how words were constructed even though he knew the rules.  He had no idea how sentences went together even though we did grammar for 4 years. He had no idea how to structure a paragraph even though we worked through IEW.  And to top it all off, he could not write at speed, because he had not internalized letter formation, and was still coaching himself with his internal voice as to how to for every. single. letter.  At 12. 

So now, when you read my posts about this boy who has just written a research paper for English on comparing internal vs external enforcement of conformity in 19th century literature - comparing Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion, and Jane Eyre -- you can think 'my kid could never do that'. But what you don't see as a newbie is all the posts I have written over the years about the STRUGGLE.  About my self doubt of my plan to remediate.  About my dismay at my ignorance throughout his primary years. You only see the successes, because I can't write every post from the beginning. I just have to assume that many on this board know me and have followed our long and difficult path. 

You need to know that reading on this board can be inspiring and educational.  But you must also know that we all struggle in our own ways with our children. Homeschooling is hard work, and there are many false starts, but I have never regretted the time I have had with my children. Stand tall and trust your instincts. 

Good luck to you, and welcome to the board. 

Ruth in NZ

Edited June 5, 2020 by lewelma

[Garga]

21 hours ago, Violet Crown said:

Yes, what everybody else has said. This can be like Instagram; you're not hearing the disaster stories. Maybe someone should start an "encourage the new folks with tales of failure" thread. When my youngest was your daughter's age, she could barely get through a picture book. It was okay. She had her own timetable.