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Today it hit my girl bad...


fairfarmhand
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She was supposed to graduate this spring, so far She’s managed the disappointment ok.
 

Prom possibly in September. Fine, gives us extra time to finish the dress. 

Didn’t want to walk at graduation anyway.

drama play postponed till...when? Actually just filming for YouTube. Fine. Ok. Whatever.

she hasn’t been getting any work at the tea shop where she works. They’re doing curbside so less business and hours for everyone and her coworkers need their paychecks more that she does. Ok fine. She loves them and understands but has really looked forward to getting back to work after Memorial Day.

theres been some whining about friends here and there but overall it was ok. 

today she ugly cried. She heard that the tea shop dining room is closed indefinitely. They’ll still be doing curbside but being at 50 percent capacity just won’t work for a shop that holds 50 customers maximum. So nobody knows when they’ll open up normally. Her plan was to learn to serve this summer, work as many hours as possible to provide flexibility in her financial needs for when college starts in the fall. 
 

not possible.

It all hit her at once, so many disappointments, and even as she was sobbing on the couch she was saying “I know it’s not that big a deal, and I’ve got a place to stay and all but I just wanted to go back to work.”  
 

ugh. 
 

her car needs work, she hasn’t heard from any of the scholarships she’s applied for, she’s worried about paying for books and things this fall. 
 

what a crappy spring.

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6 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

She was supposed to graduate this spring, so far She’s managed the disappointment ok.
 

Prom possibly in September. Fine, gives us extra time to finish the dress. 

Didn’t want to walk at graduation anyway.

drama play postponed till...when? Actually just filming for YouTube. Fine. Ok. Whatever.

she hasn’t been getting any work at the tea shop where she works. They’re doing curbside so less business and hours for everyone and her coworkers need their paychecks more that she does. Ok fine. She loves them and understands but has really looked forward to getting back to work after Memorial Day.

theres been some whining about friends here and there but overall it was ok. 

today she ugly cried. She heard that the tea shop dining room is closed indefinitely. They’ll still be doing curbside but being at 50 percent capacity just won’t work for a shop that holds 50 customers maximum. So nobody knows when they’ll open up normally. Her plan was to learn to serve this summer, work as many hours as possible to provide flexibility in her financial needs for when college starts in the fall. 
 

not possible.

It all hit her at once, so many disappointments, and even as she was sobbing on the couch she was saying “I know it’s not that big a deal, and I’ve got a place to stay and all but I just wanted to go back to work.”  
 

ugh. 
 

her car needs work, she hasn’t heard from any of the scholarships she’s applied for, she’s worried about paying for books and things this fall. 
 

what a crappy spring.

this is such a crappy time for kids just launching right now.  Or people needing a career change.

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I am so sorry, fairfarmhand. And actually, yes, it is a big deal. I am sorry about her job and the uncertainty of the fall. 

I do think it is harder now that school work has ended. All of my dd's friends are at loose ends- no jobs or severely reduced hours, no sports, just waiting around for the "powers that be" to make some decisions. 

 

 

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35 minutes ago, MysteryJen said:

I am so sorry, fairfarmhand. And actually, yes, it is a big deal. I am sorry about her job and the uncertainty of the fall. 

I do think it is harder now that school work has ended. All of my dd's friends are at loose ends- no jobs or severely reduced hours, no sports, just waiting around for the "powers that be" to make some decisions. 

 

 

Yeah, she did do better when there were some classes to wrap up. She felt that she was working toward something, and now, she's just dead in the water, waiting for...something. 

I have been allowing her some limited get togethers with a few low risk families. One my my kids struggles with severe mental illness. That colors my decisions about keeping my kids in good places mentally and emotionally. I've been down the dark road of depression and anxiety with a child and I don't want that pit opening up again. I know that it's a CV19 risk, but with our family history, bipolar, depression, and anxiety is just as big of a risk. 

We're going to pay to fix her car. That's a problem we can solve for her. 

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We also have a child with mental health issues (thankfully under control now for 3 years) so we have made similar calculations. 

Other parents in the group have come to a similar conclusion. It has helped immeasurably for them to be together.

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I'm sorry; I have two college juniors who are feeling a bit lost this summer. One got hired back to Home Depot, where he worked last summer, though he had been planning on a museum internship this summer... kind of a come down. 

BUT your daughter's attitude makes me believe she is one who will come out of this OK and sooner rather than later:  

9 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

“I know it’s not that big a deal, and I’ve got a place to stay and all but I just wanted to go back to work.”  

 

Everyone's grieving their graduations, proms, etc, and I get that, we had grief here too about school-related travel that didn't happen. But your daughter is looking forward to what she wants to do, not back at what she didn't get to do.

Well done!

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I think having to cancel your wedding or missing your high school senior year's second semester (especially if going to a brick and mortar school) must be two of the most disappointing repercussions of Covid (as far life stuff).  Someday, your dd will be able to tell her grandchildren about it, but I'm sure right now it all feels pretty devastating.

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DD is a senior.  She has things in perspective.  She knows the "suffering" is relative.  She minimizes her life disruptions. I think she feels guilty for feeling any disappointment.  I have told her it's OK to think this all sucks.  She can feel that way and still be a positive person.  It's hard for her to process and organize her thoughts.

hugs to your dd

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Honestly, I think the real, raw feelings are shared with friends- not parents (unless you have an unusually close relationship). 
Kids that don't seem bothered are the ones the counselors at our high school are most concerned about. At least per their messages to parents.

YMMV of course.

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It must be in the air.  Today, dd got word that the very last thing she had planned for summer has been canceled.  She knows she is lucky to be healthy and fed and housed and privileged.  She knows many other people have it FAR worse.  It is still ok to mourn.

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2 hours ago, MysteryJen said:

We also have a child with mental health issues (thankfully under control now for 3 years) so we have made similar calculations. 

Other parents in the group have come to a similar conclusion. It has helped immeasurably for them to be together.

I am totally trying to give grace to people who are out and about, bending the rules, or maybe not as careful as they should be. My experience with mental illness tells me that many families suffer through this stuff silently and they have to do what keeps them in a good place. 

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I'm so sorry! Yes, it is crappy, and it is amazing she can recognize that others have it worse in the midst of this - what a great kid! But others having it worse doesn't mean it isn't crappy, and it is okay to be upset! Poor thing!

And sometimes something is just the last straw. (anyone seen the paper towel bit on Bob's Burgers?) I'm sure those tears were for the tea shop closing, but also job prospects in the future, her education, friends, worry about getting sick, worry about others getting sick, etc etc etc all put together. The tea shop was just the final straw. 

Edited by Ktgrok
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Update: 

This week has been a vast improvement over last week.

First, her cat had 6 kittens yesterday, all fat and healthy.

Second, she heard from the tea shop and they want her back next week. They're going to try an open the dining room up in a limited way. Apparently there was some kind of brouhaha at the shop and they'll give her as many hours as she wants. Who knows what happened and my dd doesn't care, she stays completely out of workplace drama and apparently management appreciates that.

Third, she found out that her college gave her a $1000 a year scholarship for the Fall! 

It's absolutely amazing how fast things turned around. Last night she cried herself to sleep because she was so at a loss for what to do over the next 2-3 months, and now the path seems clear. 

YAY!

 

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On 5/19/2020 at 9:08 PM, fairfarmhand said:

She was supposed to graduate this spring, so far She’s managed the disappointment ok.
 

Prom possibly in September. Fine, gives us extra time to finish the dress. 

Didn’t want to walk at graduation anyway.

drama play postponed till...when? Actually just filming for YouTube. Fine. Ok. Whatever.

she hasn’t been getting any work at the tea shop where she works. They’re doing curbside so less business and hours for everyone and her coworkers need their paychecks more that she does. Ok fine. She loves them and understands but has really looked forward to getting back to work after Memorial Day.

theres been some whining about friends here and there but overall it was ok. 

today she ugly cried. She heard that the tea shop dining room is closed indefinitely. They’ll still be doing curbside but being at 50 percent capacity just won’t work for a shop that holds 50 customers maximum. So nobody knows when they’ll open up normally. Her plan was to learn to serve this summer, work as many hours as possible to provide flexibility in her financial needs for when college starts in the fall. 
 

not possible.

It all hit her at once, so many disappointments, and even as she was sobbing on the couch she was saying “I know it’s not that big a deal, and I’ve got a place to stay and all but I just wanted to go back to work.”  
 

ugh. 
 

her car needs work, she hasn’t heard from any of the scholarships she’s applied for, she’s worried about paying for books and things this fall. 
 

what a crappy spring.

I could have written a fairly similar post for my dd. I really, really get it.

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I'm sorry.  We had a similar scenario here with my senior.  She was taking a lot of it in stride - mock trial cancellation hurt the most.  She'd been sad, mad, etc., but the straw that broke the camel's back was finding out fall classes were going to be impacted.  She felt she'd given up enough things and now this needs to just stop.

You know, it's not that these kids don't "get" it, they do.  They know their lives didn't end, there was no war, yada, yada, but it doesn't mean that sacrificing things they'd worked so hard for didn't hurt. 😞 

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9 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

Update: 

This week has been a vast improvement over last week.

First, her cat had 6 kittens yesterday, all fat and healthy.

Second, she heard from the tea shop and they want her back next week. They're going to try an open the dining room up in a limited way. Apparently there was some kind of brouhaha at the shop and they'll give her as many hours as she wants. Who knows what happened and my dd doesn't care, she stays completely out of workplace drama and apparently management appreciates that.

Third, she found out that her college gave her a $1000 a year scholarship for the Fall! 

It's absolutely amazing how fast things turned around. Last night she cried herself to sleep because she was so at a loss for what to do over the next 2-3 months, and now the path seems clear. 

YAY!

 

What a wonderful update!  I'm so happy for her!  ❤️

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13 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

Update: 

This week has been a vast improvement over last week.

First, her cat had 6 kittens yesterday, all fat and healthy.

Second, she heard from the tea shop and they want her back next week. They're going to try an open the dining room up in a limited way. Apparently there was some kind of brouhaha at the shop and they'll give her as many hours as she wants. Who knows what happened and my dd doesn't care, she stays completely out of workplace drama and apparently management appreciates that.

Third, she found out that her college gave her a $1000 a year scholarship for the Fall! 

It's absolutely amazing how fast things turned around. Last night she cried herself to sleep because she was so at a loss for what to do over the next 2-3 months, and now the path seems clear. 

YAY!

 

 

Yay!!!

That’s wonderful!!!

 

and a great message too about how things can turn around and get better

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