Reflecting on the giant thread

[Carrie12345]

I just noticed that the main virus thread will be 4 months old in another week.  FOUR MONTHS. We’ve learned so much and, at the same time, so little.

I’m very glad I was already into emergency preparedness, but this has shown that I would have had major problems if not for access to big stores and their major supply chains, even while limited. The summer will be better with local farms, but they’re only just starting their growing season.

I’m extremely grateful to be a homeschooling family! Lately, I’ve been thinking about what occupations to expose my younger kids to that are pandemic and recession/depression proof, or at least less at-risk. My new graduate and next graduate are on their paths to essential jobs. I’ve always worried about their ability to make decent money. Technically I still do, but I know the jobs probably won’t go away.

We’re still hoping to be able to move, but there’s no telling what the real estate market or the general economy will wind up doing in the timeframe we’re looking at. 

Without getting specifically political, I think it’s fair to say the government is a mess.

My husband paid $10 for a fairly small pack of (good) toilet paper because he saw it on a shelf and didn’t want to miss the opportunity.

I’ve gained more than 5lbs.

We’re hitting the time of year when my family is usually the most social. Through the school year, “social” generally means meeting obligations in the company of other people, some of whom we genuinely like. Summer is just hanging out with people we like BECAUSE we like them. Even as a natural introvert who’s been loving staying home, this is going to be an emotional challenge.

Four months after the murmurings started, how are things going for you?

[Ausmumof3]

To be honest things feel almost normal.  Kids sports aren’t back but are heading that way and no church.  Libraries reopen and many stores.  It’s been weeks since I haven’t been able to buy stuff on shelves.  Dhs work is busier than ever and we are spending time with family.  I think the kids would like to be able to see friends again soon.  This is the one time I’ve felt like they’d get more social at school because school has gone back here.  Some homeschoolers are meeting up but no one we are really connected to.  

[Wheres Toto]

We're doing pretty well.   We decided a while ago to include oldest dd and my mother in our "bubble" so we've still been seeing them.  Dd and I started getting together every day to walk or workout, and that has been nice.  I don't see her a lot anymore since she lives with my mother and in normal circumstances has a full time job and is doing full time school.  

Since my classes are closed, I'm seeing once again how much better I do with an outside enforced schedule and plans, but that's something I'm going to work on.  Even if things open up, I don't plan on doing summer camps.  I'm hoping to open in September.  Having even that much of a plan helps me to get things done.   If we can't open in September, it's likely I won't be able to reopen at all and will close the business.  

Dh's job has continued from home this whole time so financial things are normal (my business was on track to finally do more than break even this year).   His mother has had some health problems and is currently in the hospital.  He's not heading down there yet (3 hours away) since he wouldn't be able to see her in the hospital anyway but will probably go down when she's sent home to spend a few days.   Having him gone right now stinks more than usual because he's doing the grocery shopping during early morning "senior" hours.   I'm not old enough to qualify, but he'll do a shopping trip for me before he leaves.  But he'll take my car and his is in the shop so that will also stink.  

We've all been healthy for the most part (except dh's mom) even though we're in a hot spot so I count us as pretty lucky.

[sassenach]

The biggest challenge for my family is how this has impacted future life plans. Ds  was on track for college baseball recruitment and he just lost his entire junior season. That sucks. With the NCAA extending eligibility, there will be less slots. His grade is getting the short end of the stick and that’s disappointing. My nursing program is in chaos and I think there’s a decent chance that I will get pushed back 1-2 semesters. The idea of my teens suffering through all online classes next school year is appalling. It’s no way to learn. 
 

So there’s all that. 
 

But also, we’ve remained healthy and there’s been a remarkable amount of peace in our household. Our years of homeschooling netted kids who know how to just be together. That’s been a contrast to other families I know. And our church weathered the shift online pretty well. I still worry about people who are less connected but overall I think we’re doing ok. 

[Scarlett]

I am sort of in AMs camp.....the past year before the virus hit was one of the worst of my life, so this is sort of meh. I am really tired of wearing a mask to shop For necessities especially when most people aren’t.  
I think Dh has suffered more than me....working from home has been stressful and he has had a lot put on him in our congregation as far as Zoom meetings etc.  

Dds19 is missing hanging out with his friends, but his job has continued on as normal.  
 

I do still fully expect Dh could lose  his job as the tanked economy trickles down.  I hope I am wrong but I am prepared mentally. 
 

Our pool is open so we are anxious to entertain ....not sure when we will have a few people over.....we are trying to be cautious.  

Edited May 17, 2020 by Scarlett

[Lawyer&Mom]

I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder right before we went into shutdown.  So lots of learning about the many, many physical manifestations of anxiety...  We have two parents working from home and two kids, so it’s been non-stop.  No pandemic baking or complicated crafts at our house.

Emotions seem to come in waves, I have good weeks and bad.  Each time I somehow think I’ve reached my new permanent reality... When will I learn?

I love talking with family and friends on the phone but I’m content just seeing my own family.  I feel no urge to venture back into the wider world.  (And maybe slightly phobic about the idea?)

I have an appointment with a counselor on Monday.  This is long overdue, and hopefully a very positive step.

 

[Pen]

Our area has entered phase 1 of opening, but I am lying low.

Ds is a public school student, not home schooler at this time, and doing school at home has been remarkably difficult.  He is in the homestretch toward end of year.  I am doing things like communication on Wtm or mending near by him to try to keep him on track for these last couple / few weeks (he wasn’t doing it enough on his own and got behind). 

I have very mixed feelings about his last year of high school next year. I am very concerned about increasing transmission in fall, but also don’t think public school from home is working well. 

If the 4 phases progress smoothly, school might be open in fall. 

I am ... “guardedly optimistic” that vitamins plus supplements plus masks plus hygiene regimens hugely reduce risk...   but a full day of school would be a lot of hours of potentially breathing in virus, and even at our little rural school a lot of contacts... and kids aren’t the best at following distance and hygiene. 

Even if open , I am sure that senior year high school is going to look a lot different than we had anticipated. 

This summer was supposed to be job time and that is looking different too. 

 

For myself, it has added stress of being sandwich generation, and trying to help elder parents at long distance.  And has added extra doing and procedures onto each thing I do.  

But we live rural and life here is not hugely different. 

 

 

 

Edited May 17, 2020 by Pen

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dh was already partly working from home.  He moved to only working at home.  Now he's starting to visit a couple of clinics a week for work.  (He's management so no patient care but a lot of staff training etc.)

My household work hasn't changed at all.  My homeschooling changed but that's only because dd worked really hard and graduated homeschool high school early.

Ds hasn't been home for over a year and won't be home until he graduates after one more year.  It is what it is.  We are very fortunate to live in a time when we can text and call etc. daily if needed. 

Dd is moving out next week.  I worry a bit about that. She has new fulltime work lined up but it won't start until phase 2 in our area.  But she's an adult and she's a bit of the "I can do it myself" type of person so I keep any concerns I have to myself.  If my concerns don't come to pass then she's fine.  And if they do, then she'll figure it out.  Or we will be here to help out. 

We were supposed to be visiting Mom95 last week for the first time in 3 years but that obviously didn't happen.  But she's matter of fact about "the virus" (as she calls it) and so are we.  Another thing we can't control so why get upset about it?  And again, we live in a time when we can communicate long distance.

(My views about communication and staying in touch despite quarantine are strongly influenced by the fact that I was in boarding school from age 11 and then went thousands of miles further away from home to college when I was 17, during a time when there was no email, and long distance calls were the equivalent of telegrams, only to be used in case of dire emergency.  We have so many ways to stay close to family and friends that weren't available back then.) 

Edited May 17, 2020 by Jean in Newcastle

[Donna]

This is the longest DD and I have spent at home in the two years we have lived in this house. It feels strange to not have any travel/gigs for her even planned until (possibly, if it even happens then) in late December. She's going a bit stir crazy. She had tours/work on the schedule to pay for her next year of college plus money in the bank. We can't even figure out if she's eligible for unemployment or how to file since she worked in so many states for not more than a week in each and even calling the number for assistance daily has yielded no help as the call either hangs up, goes in circles on automated choices, or says "the wait is too long, call another time." 

We are keeping busy but it's not how we are used to living. I enjoy having DD home but it is not where she was supposed to be right now. She was meant to being toward the end of a six month tour here in the US and headed to Ireland the end of June. No knowing when she might be back to work. In the meantime she is getting college classes out of the way. She misses her friends (bandmates/cast members) though, luckily, they all stay in touch with Zoom calls each week. I have been unable to see either of my DSs or my granddaughter (except online) since the beginning of the mess because they all live 7 hours away.

Things are in the first phase of opening here in my town. It seems most people have decided they are finished and CV-19 is no longer a worry. There were never many cases here in our county. If we go to the market, about half the people are wearing masks. The grocery stores are well-stocked now. Meat may be an issue but we are vegan so I have no idea how grocery stores are doing though DH does food delivery and says some of the fast food places are commonly out of beef products.

[Frances]

I’m maybe one of the rare people who has been busier since this all started. Despite not going anywhere except my back yard for almost ten weeks now, my days are very full and busy. My job is very, very busy and I’m doing much more cleaning, shopping online, meal planning, baking, cooking more complex meals, exercising, etc. My repertoire of ethnic dishes has increased substantially to the point that I don’t miss going out to eat, except walking downtown for some ice cream, gelato, or sorbet. I’d love to stay working from home permanently, but I don’t think it will be allowed. I am looking forward to water outings with our dog and returning to biking in state and city parks in the future.
Although she is doing very well right now and the nonprofit that own her facility has not had any cases in any of its ten locations, my biggest concern is my mom in a senior apt in an aging in place complex in WI. I’m very concerned what it will mean for her facility now that people are cramming into bars in her city. And I wonder when I will be able to fly to visit her again. 

[gardenmom5]

Dsil's employer is so happy with how  "work from home" has gone, he may be working from home mostly/permanently.  dd - doesn't have that option.  She's a hospital pharmacist.  (at least no direct patient contact - though  drs and nurses.)

[Carrie12345]

16 minutes ago, StellaM said:

 

I have significantly lower levels of trust in others.

I think this is my greatest struggle.

Having somehow managed to get 2 of my kids sick with something random despite enormous efforts, I can’t 100% trust myself/dh/dds. So it wold be illogical to trust people who match my own precautions, never mind people who don’t.

As someone with the privileged ability to sit around at home, I do feel like it’s my duty to stay out of the pool, so to speak. The longer we avoid getting it, the longer we avoid spreading it, keeping us and others off of any potential curve.  But I do predict there’s going to be a lot of social pressure to loosen up. I didn’t consider myself very influenced by that in the past, but I think it gets to me more than I’ve admitted.

[Laura Corin]

I'm doing ok. Scotland has not started to open up - the R is too close to 1. The shops are fully stocked (not exact brands, but something) except for hand gel and baking flour. We get a veg delivery weekly and visit a shop every ten days or so.

I enjoy working from home - my heart rate has dropped, so it's probably less stressful. I'm getting more exercise and - after an initial blip - eating well. Husband and I are sharing the house well, which bodes well for retirement.  I'm not wildly social, so Zoom is not a bad fill-in for me for talking to friends.

Calvin is furloughed, but seems to be doing okay in his shared house. Hobbes is getting some uni work done from home, but I suspect not enough. He parties online with friends once or twice a week.

We'd like to complete our house sale/purchase, and are afraid it might fall through, but there's nothing we can do right now.

[Ottakee]

We are so so here.   I have been working remotely.....well, as much as a hands on special Ed parapro can.  It is not the same and students are not getting anywhere near the same level of education as we do in person in the community....despite everyone's best efforts.

I was able to get in a lot of medical tests and appointments which was nice ...and a few for the kids.   Most in person.  Telelmed is NOT the same, ok for things like consults or reviewing test results but no substitute for in person.

I started a new exercise program and am down 10 pounds in a month.  We have had more time for bike rides and hikes.

The downsides is that I have 3 special needs kids....2 at home, one married and 45 minutes away.  They need their social outlets and community outings for mental health.  My 2 at home haven't been working and that is very hard on them as well.  Counseling for one of mine has been very hit or miss via online.  It is NOT the same.

I am so missing real, genuine adult conversation that is NOT COVID related.  I miss church as online is not the same sort of fellowship.   I miss being able to walk around and greet people without everyone stepping away, turning away, etc (which I know is now the polite thing to do).

So I guess financially we are OK (kids lost income and not stimulus checks or unemployment for them) and we were able to get the food we needed and TP.  Thankfully our wonderful doctor's office was open and I was able to get the tests needed to rule out cancer.

Where we struggle is socially and emotionally.  

 

[Arcadia]

I am glad the majority of my cancer treatment was completed before shelter in place. My husband would not have been allowed to accompany me for 7hrs long chemotherapy otherwise.

I am glad my DS15 was able to have months of in-person classes that he crave for before shelter in place else it would be even more emotionally painful for him. Even if it’s just to buy a latte from the community college cafe and sip while walking around campus would give him joy. My teens are looking forward to being able to have Panda Express again at the outdoor seating area instead of takeout. 

My friends are seeing the impact of healthcare workers being furloughed, college kids “stuck” at home, stores closing for good. Some have asked for lockdown thinking that it would be short and did not expect that their kids may have to continue doing school online in the fall and that businesses would close for good. 

Financially we are okay but state taxes are likely to rise as usual to cover for budget deficits.  Our gasoline is still close to $3/gallon because of all the state tax. So we are spending less to buffer for paying more tax.