A Potty Poem, Full of Woes

[Moonhawk]

My daughter is now 3 years old
And won’t go to the potty when told
She will scream and cry
And in all ways deny
All methods that try to take hold.

We’ve tried Elmo’s Potty Time,
She loved every minute,
But won’t follow through 
When it comes down to it.

We’ve tried set times of day,
And sitting her down for increments short and long,
No matter the stagger,
She can hold it til she’s free as a song.

We’ve tried going naked,
She didn’t care about puddles.
She understands the words we say,
But just gives a “no” in rebuttal.

We’ve tried bribery,
Which worked once or twice.
We abandoned carrot for stick,
It didn’t work either (she just said it wasn’t nice).

I have reached my wits’ end
So for help I must send.
I’ve tried every trick
It just doesn’t click
Please send any advice you can lend.

[MercyA]

Things that helped here:

Where's the Poop flap book

Potty Power and Go Potty Go DVD's

Lots of good books in the bathroom

Sticker reward chart and prizes

This too shall pass. 😉 

ETA: And, yes, wait until they are ready! I tried too early and it availed nothing.

Edited May 13, 2020 by MercyA

[73349]

Our downstairs bathroom became a delightful place to hang out. Bubbles! Books! Mommy paying attention to you! Stickers! We'd sing a song!

If you're using disposable diapers, you may not have this habit, but I think our having put poop in the toilet when changing diapers made it clearer that this was where it belonged. He trained perfectly with #2 in no time at 18 months.

#1 took longer, and I instituted a cap of 5 puddles a day (not telling him), after which I switched him to lined training underwear, so he'd feel wet but there was no mess. And he was still not dry overnight for a long, long time.

[Terabith]

At age three, my younger kiddo said, "Yeah....I love m&m's but not enough to use the potty.  It's MY body, and you can't make me use the potty.  You're just trying to manipulate me."  

I gave up.  Around 3.5, she decided all on her own to use the potty and literally never had a single accident.  In many ways, it was preferable to my older, who I potty trained at just after two and had to constantly be aware of the location of every public restroom in the city.  

[AFwife Claire]

Yeah, with my stubborn kids, it was more about me convincing them that they actually wanted to be potty-trained, rather than any specific potty-training trick.  So I pointed out all the time how babies wore diapers, and things big kids could do that babies in diapers couldn't do.  

And then I proceeded to let my older kids do whatever seemed to be what the non-potty-trained kid wanted.  One kid really wanted to chew gum (believe me, not something 3 year olds normally do around my house, but it sure was motivating!).  So I let the older kids have gum frequently while lamenting how the 3 year old was still little and in diapers, and no one in diapers could chew gum, since that was what big boys did.

I think psychologically the child has to decide that they are motivated to be potty-trained, and at that point, it will happen, if they are neurotypical.  I would work on differentiating between babies in diapers and big kids in underwear, and try to help her see that she really wants to be in the big kid camp.  

My most difficult child was #8.  He was difficult about everything, and I knew potty-training was going to be an absolute struggle, so I just never bothered to really start.  I sat him on the potty a few times, so he knew what to do, but he had no interest.  #9 was born when he was 18 months, so I used the "big boys don't wear diapers" thing a bunch, but he wasn't convinced.  Then one day he and all his siblings went to the dentist for their yearly cleanings a few weeks after his 3rd birthday.  He came out from there and told me, "I a big boy at the dentist.  I don't wear diapers anymore." And that was that.  He switched to underwear and maybe had 2 accidents in the next few weeks.  It was unbelievable to me. But he decided he wanted to be a big boy.

Edited May 13, 2020 by AFwife Claire

[Scarlett]

My son finally ‘got’ the whole poop part at exactly 3 1/2. He was fine with the pee part....but he would wait for a pull up at night to go poop.  I gave up, I told him one day he would poop in the potty.  And he did.  I can still hear him excitedly showing me and saying, ‘ you said I would figure it out and I did!’ He never again pooped in his pants.