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First off, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers.

Second, what would you think if you saw your neighbor who is a mother mowing the lawn this morning knowing full well there are healthy able bodied non-mothers in the house.

This is not an issue, no hard feelings in this house.  Just an interesting conversation dh and I had this morning after a random comment was made.  I'll give more details once I see what other people might think of the scenario.

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Maybe she likes to mow? Many people do.

Maybe she's not into MD? I'm not, so it really doesn't seem odd at all to me. I noticed my neighbor was washing her SUV this morning. It never occurred to me to wonder why she was doing it and not her husband or DD. To me today is just another day, except there's the irritation of everyone talking about MD.

Edited by Pawz4me
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Disclaimer: We are not big Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day people. It's mid-morning here, and DH/the kids have yet to say do anything. And I am guessing they won't do anything. Therefore, I probably wouldn't notice. If I did, I'd probably think she likes to mow. Such people do exist. (I am one who loves to vacuum. I could happily vacuum for...a long time if people were leaving me alone!) I am honestly surprised that it seems some people would be bothered by this scenario!

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So here's the story. We don't put an emphasis on Mother's Day. It gets acknowledged as in everyone says 'Happy Mother's Day' to me. Some kids make cards but don't feel like they need to. Dh already always makes breakfast so that is a non issue. The most he'll do is ask me what I want to do that day and if I want to we do it.  But really I generally just want it to be like every other day.  

Well this year I was fully planning on mowing the lawn this weekend. I love mowing the lawn and am the one to do it 70% of the time.  I was originally going to do it yesterday buy it was too cold for my liking so I decided to wait until this morning.  When I told dh I was going to mow the lawn after I finished my coffee he said, 'I can't let you do that.  What will all the neighbors think seeing you mowing the lawn on Mother's Day. They'll think I'm the worst."  We laughed and I jokingly pouted because I really wanted too.  Then he jokingly said, "No, you are not allowed to do exactly what you want to do on Mother's Day!"

It just never occurred to me until his comment that anyone would think anything about seeing someone mow.  But thinking about it, it makes sense.  I'm pretty sure our neighbor across the street feels sorry for me every time she sees me mow. 

Edited by hjffkj
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4 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

Esp. if it was a riding lawnmower, I might think she was enjoying some ALONE time.  I never minded mowing the lawn (provided I had the time) on the riding lawnmower.

 Not a riding mower.  I'd actually hate that.  I enjoy mowing for the workout that it is.  We have an acre of land

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12 minutes ago, Amira said:

We don’t celebrate Mother’s Day at my house and now I’m wondering if I’ve ever done something on Mother’s Day that somehow made the rest of my family look like slackers.  😂

 

This is basically it. If I were out front gardening no one would think anything but if I was mowing there would certainly be negative thoughts towards the other ppl in my family. certainly not from everyone who saw but at least from some.  I find it fascinating.

I don't really care what the neighbors think but it was just interesting to realize that .

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Maybe she likes doing it? I caught my next door neighbor mowing MY lawn when she was about 6 months pregnant. She said she liked the break from the kids (she was pregnant with number 8 at the time). It was a riding mower... I laughed and told her she was welcome any time... she was a good friend, as well. 

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46 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

First off, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers.

Second, what would you think if you saw your neighbor who is a mother mowing the lawn this morning knowing full well there are healthy able bodied non-mothers in the house.

This is not an issue, no hard feelings in this house.  Just an interesting conversation dh and I had this morning after a random comment was made.  I'll give more details once I see what other people might think of the scenario.

Well, I like yard work, so I'd wonder if she did too. If she did, good for her. If not, maybe she just wanted to get out of the house. Or others are ill or something. If none of that, that sucks. 

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Mother's Day is no biggie here and I love mowing. I would think nothing of it.

I love hearing the whole story; that's hilarious. My dh has been "scolded" twice when neighbors saw me push mowing while pregnant. Hahaha, poor guy, I don't think anybody believed him when he tried to explain I enjoy mowing. 😋

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28 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

So here's the story. We don't put an emphasis on Mother's Day. It gets acknowledged as in everyone says 'Happy Mother's Day' to me. Some kids make cards but don't feel like they need to. Dh already always makes breakfast so that is a non issue. The most he'll do is ask me what I want to do that day and if I want to we do it.  But really I generally just want it to be like every other day.  

Well this year I was fully planning on mowing the lawn this weekend. I love mowing the lawn and am the one to do it 70% of the time.  I was originally going to do it yesterday buy it was too cold for my liking so I decided to wait until this morning.  When I told dh I was going to mow the lawn after I finished my coffee he said, 'I can't let you do that.  What will all the neighbors think seeing you mowing the lawn on Mother's Day. They'll think I'm the worst."  We laughed and I jokingly pouted because I really wanted too.  Then he jokingly said, "No, you are not allowed to do exactly what you want to do on Mother's Day!"

It just never occurred to me until his comment that anyone would think anything about seeing someone mow.  But thinking about it, it makes sense.  I'm pretty sure our neighbor across the street feels sorry for me every time she sees me mow. 

LOL, I redid out irrigation myself (hand trenching everything - backbreaking work in the hot florida sun) and then tilled, planted seed, mowed, everything. A few of the neighbors finally asked hesitantly, "so..um..what's your DH doing?" I laughed and said he was folding the laundry and cleaning the house, chores I hate, in order to free me up to do the lawn, which I love. 

23 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

 

This is basically it. If I were out front gardening no one would think anything but if I was mowing there would certainly be negative thoughts towards the other ppl in my family. certainly not from everyone who saw but at least from some.  I find it fascinating.

I don't really care what the neighbors think but it was just interesting to realize that .

I do find the divide between gardening and lawnwork fascinating. I'm in both lawn and gardening groups on facebook...the lawn people also garden. The garden group people do NOT also like lawn stuff, and are very very vocal about how dumb lawns are, how stupid people are to be brainswashed into wanting them, what a waste of time they are, etc. Same people who will spend all weekend digging landscape beds, watering bushes and flowers, but someone spending an hour mowing the lawn is "wasting time" to them. I've pointed out the hypocrisy a few times. After all, grass is a plant too! If one can enjoy caring for trees and bushes and flowers, perhaps they could understand that a person might also enjoy caring for grass!

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Happy Mother's Day to the people who aren't annoyed by the mention of it.

I admit to judging the teenage son's of the divorced mom who lives nearby for not walking their dog or mowing their lawn. The mom did it until just recently when a lawn service started taking care of it. My thought starts with, "Lazy boys" and goes downhill from there.

But I am the judgey sort.

However, I'm currently making breakfast for my home off-spring (sorry, dd#1!). One offered to make me breakfast but I said I'd make them all something. Love language & all...

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3 minutes ago, RootAnn said:

Happy Mother's Day to the people who aren't annoyed by the mention of it.

I admit to judging the teenage son's of the divorced mom who lives nearby for not walking their dog or mowing their lawn. The mom did it until just recently when a lawn service started taking care of it. My thought starts with, "Lazy boys" and goes downhill from there.

But I am the judgey sort.

However, I'm currently making breakfast for my home off-spring (sorry, dd#1!). One offered to make me breakfast but I said I'd make them all something. Love language & all...

See, and not only do I love lawn work, but I prefer to walk the dog and not have anyone go with me. Me time

But I can be judgey too. My neighbor had a heart attack and I ended up mowing his lawn for him, because none of his three children, ages 16-20ish, managed to find time to do it. However, that is partly due to bad blood and such, so not even sure who i'm judging in that situation, lol. 🙂

Edited by Ktgrok
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Yep, @Ktgrok. I assume She doesn't love mowing since they hired a lawn service now. The boys are off school and don't have sports as an excuse.

They tie the dog up outside most of the time, so believe me, I judge. [My dd#2 would love to walk their dog but I can't get her to ask.]

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Honestly I'd think nothing of it.  Maybe it's the quietest hour of her day and she enjoys it.  If she wanted something to go differently, I assume an emotionally healthy adult could vocalize it and ask someone else to do it they really didn't want to.

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1 hour ago, hjffkj said:

if you saw your neighbor who is a mother mowing the lawn this morning

They had a hot tiff and she was blowing off steam.

I don't know that everyone respects Mother's Day, so I wouldn't read too much into it personally. Maybe she's very ADHD or energetic and just wanted to get out of the house? Maybe the others have allergies? I mean, who cares?? That's like saying my dh can't do the dishes on Father's Day. 

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It wouldn’t be noticeable or important to me. I often clean on Mother’s Day (or my birthday, or Valentine’s Day, or whatever) because I just like cleaning things. 

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1 hour ago, MEmama said:

I wouldn’t have thought anything of it. 
Mother’s Day is a total non event in my home. I’d have not even realised it, honestly. 
Not actually sure why it would be controversial that she’s mowing the lawn? 

 

And let's say, for arguments sake, that every single neighbor thought it was "awful" you were making Mom mow the lawn.

Then what?   They would come after you with pitchforks?   I mean, so the neighbors think ill of you....what else is new....🤣...in my neighborhood anyway.

 

 

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Well, I shopped for my own breakfast this morning. II'm usually up hours before the rest of the gang and like to eat about 8-ish.  Much to my surprise, DH was up at 7:30 announcing he would make me breakfast. Then I found out his menu plan; homemade sausage gravy (gross!) to serve over hash browns, with fried eggs and bacon (I never eat fried eggs). I gave him a funny look, at which point he said, "Why, what would you like?" Nice buttery croissants and fresh fruit, to include strawberries and kiwi (no one else in our house likes kiwi). "But we don't have any of that!" Yes, which is why I'm already dressed and hopping to the store when it opens at 8. Which I did.

I wasn't at all upset by it - that was my plan. It was funny at the store, though, all the men and teens at 8 am buying flowers, cards, and candy. Maybe they thought it was sad that I was buying my own breakfast?

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It depends. I have friends that really enjoy mowing the lawn.  If I happened to know that my friend hated mowing and I saw that, and I was physically capable, a gift from you to her might be to do it for her (even if her family does not). Perhaps them seeing you do it would prompt a change of heart for them. 

OP, if you really want to yell at someone, can you please tell my dh it was uber rude to say that he doesn't need to say anything for Mother's Day because I am not his mom? Seriously, sometimes the sarcasm is just hurtful. 

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1 minute ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I don't care about Mother's Day either.

 

Even if I did care, if there's a chore that needs to be done, I'll still do it on my birthday or Mother's Day or whenever.  I don't expect to have the day off.  I try to time chores so I don't have to do them on Christmas or family days, but sometimes I'll still end up doing laundry or some other chore.   I wouldn't expect someone else to do something I normally would do just because of the date on the calendar.  If they want to do it, that's fine and appreciated but it doesn't bother me to do it myself.  

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When we had a yard to mow, I bought myself a brand new lawn mower as a gift to myself. We had the money at the time, it was on sale, the old mower was making life difficult when I cut the grass so I treated myself to a new lawn mower. It wasn't that I liked mowing the lawn particularly but it was important to me that it was cut and neat at the time. So I was usually the one doing it. We also don't celebrate mother's day (or father's day or many other holidays) in our house and if the grass needed mowing on the second Sunday in May then it would get cut on the second Sunday in May. I would be surprised, confused and frankly, a little defensive, if someone told me I shouldn't be doing what needs doing just because it is a holiday.

As a side note, my first husband never did anything for me for Mother's day for the 13 years we were married because "you are not my mother". I begged to differ as he was in many ways a bigger child than his own children but that's a whole 'nother post. Yes it does have a very small part to do with the reason we, my current husband and I, don't celebrate mother's day or father's day at all anymore. It is just another day for us with same chores and responsibilities that come with any other day.

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4 minutes ago, cintinative said:

It depends. I have friends that really enjoy mowing the lawn.  If I happened to know that my friend hated mowing and I saw that, and I was physically capable, a gift from you to her might be to do it for her (even if her family does not). Perhaps them seeing you do it would prompt a change of heart for them. 

OP, if you really want to yell at someone, can you please tell my dh it was uber rude to say that he doesn't need to say anything for Mother's Day because I am not his mom? Seriously, sometimes the sarcasm is just hurtful. 

Aw, I'm sorry about that.  When we had young kids and my dh told me something like that, I felt so badly!  I remember telling him that he needed to at least be a role-model for our kids, who were too young to celebrate the day.  And for a few years, if we wanted to do anything on Mother's Day, I planned it myself.

But, my dh is a really lovely man and a terrific dad and he has always shown me that he over-the-top loves me.  He also happens to be an idealist who doesn't take part in Hallmark holidays.  That's just the family he grew up in.  We eventually learned to meet half-way on this, and actually nowadays, I couldn't give a rip about Mother's Day and would just as soon skip it, and he always wants to celebrate it!  Haha   So who knows!

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8 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I wouldn't think a thing about it.  I LOVE mowing the lawn.  I just gesture to the family I can't here you, I'm mowing.  It's my break from the family.

This!!!!! I will never forget the day I broke down and got out the mower. I was SO sick of my teen blowing off the job, or doing it badly, and DH was working two jobs and just didn't have time. I figured surely a woman of 40 yrs with some reasonable intelligence could figure it out. So I went out expecting to HATE it. Our yard was half dirt, the rest weeds, it was hot, the lawn mower was crappy. But...I put on headphones. And for an hour NO ONE BOTHERED ME!!! I was like oh.....this is why my dad likes lawn work! That transitioned into me redoing the lawn, new mower, etc and now it is my hobby and, according to my husband, my true love. 

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2 hours ago, hjffkj said:

First off, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers.

Second, what would you think if you saw your neighbor who is a mother mowing the lawn this morning knowing full well there are healthy able bodied non-mothers in the house.

This is not an issue, no hard feelings in this house.  Just an interesting conversation dh and I had this morning after a random comment was made.  I'll give more details once I see what other people might think of the scenario.

I love mowing grass! I have a battery operated mower and I love the sun and the smell and the satisfaction of doing a job that STAYS done for WEEKS. 

Now if I saw her doing dishes or laundry or cooking I might have some unkind thoughts. 🤣

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No, I would not think it was weird to see a woman cut her grass on Mother’s Day. Definitely not now during a pandemic.  Most people that I know don’t have plans to go out anywhere today anyway.

My son is allergic to grass.  I’d hate for someone to judge him from afar because he doesn’t help us out with cutting the grass.  I’d gladly help DH with the mowing, except he bought one of those reel push mowers - I warned him advance I wouldn’t use it. (I did when he was sick, though.)

 

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2 hours ago, Amira said:

We don’t celebrate Mother’s Day at my house and now I’m wondering if I’ve ever done something on Mother’s Day that somehow made the rest of my family look like slackers.  😂

I was thinking it’s a beautiful day to mow my front lawn, but I’d better wait til tomorrow. 😂

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My mother’s request for Mother’s Day was to deep clean either the basement or the garage, so I just assume labor is a part of everyone’s Mother’s Day.  BTW, the gift was not complaining during cleaning; she could make us just clean any day.

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I admit I have not read all the responses. 

My mother loved mowing the lawn and much preferred it to doing the dishes and such. So she mowed the lawn. 

I would not assume anything. I would certainly not be annoyed on her behalf.

(Related: once I got a nice skillet for mother's day. My MIL was offended on my behalf. Wrong! I was thrilled. It is a nicer pan than I will ever be able to buy again and I LOVE it.)


ETA: I also am making dessert for tonight's dinner.  And will actually end up doing most of the cooking, though I do get to offload the parts I don't like. 🙂

Edited by marbel
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1 hour ago, cintinative said:

 

OP, if you really want to yell at someone, can you please tell my dh it was uber rude to say that he doesn't need to say anything for Mother's Day because I am not his mom? Seriously, sometimes the sarcasm is just hurtful. 

Ugh, sorry, I’m with your DH. I get so annoyed at people who wish me a happy Mother’s Day. Seriously, unless you are my son you have no business saying it to me. Idk why but it really, really upsets me. Especially random people at the grocery or whatever, who would have no way of knowing whether I am a mother or not. It’s just so sexist. But I also thinks it’s weird to hear it from friends or even stranger, my own mom. I DEFINITELY don’t want it to hear it from my HUSBAND! That’s just all kinds of eww. 
 

I am sorry to hear it upsets you, though. Maybe you can explain to him that you find it hurtful. 

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I wouldn’t have thought a thing about it.  We don’t do Mother’s Day here, other than the kids sending me a  HMD text. I’ve spent the day installing new deck boards on our back deck, then I’ll cook dinner. I just don’t make a big deal out of these kinds of ‘special days’.  Other folks really like to go all out, and that’s ok too. 

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