Night Elf Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 As some of you know, he has Aspergers. He'll be 24 years old in July and we've seen him mature in leaps and bounds so far in this calendar year. I think it's really true that Aspies can be 5 years behind peers. He's done some awesome things that I didn't think he'd ever do. So the latest, however, is not a comforting thing. He quit his job at the grocery store after only 2 weeks there. He hated it and it's not moving him towards his personal goal to be involved in the gaming industry. So he asked if he could go back to college to pursue a game development degree. It's a 4-year bachelor's program. He's been to one 4-year university and a trade school and hated both of them. He hated school and said he'd rather work a menial job than go back. Now, he's changed his mind? He even said he was going to take a full load which is something he's never done. So we spent some time Saturday applying to the college and requesting transcripts from the previous two schools. I'm waiting to hear back from them to see if he needs his high school transcript and his SAT report. I'm hoping not because it's more than 5 years old and I don't want him to have to retake the SAT to get into this school. He has 29 credit hours between the two schools he attended but we don't know if they'll accept his trade school classes. So that's what he's currently planning. I'll be praying for him a lot! 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Your ds sounds a lot like one of my brothers who has Aspergers. My brother went to community college right out of high school and managed an associates but decided not to transfer credits to the 4 year degree university. Then he spent a few years struggling with finding a job he didn't hate. He job hopped a lot. In between job hopping he tried a few different certification programs and either failed or dropped out of them. It wasn't until he was in his 30s that he was finally ready to go back to college to get a BS for a career he thought he could tolerate and possibly enjoy. He has since graduated and has been at a job that he likes for a few years. I will pray that this is a plan your son can stick with and that he likes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 That's great that he wants to make goals! Make sure he's the one making the contacts, it won't look good for you to be doing it. I help my Aspie write the emails, when needed, but he's definitely signing them & they are coming from his email. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Colleges in our area are waiving act/sat requirements because of covid. Also, those who fit into non traditional student categories can often test with accuplacer rather than act/sat. you can usually find the info you need by finding the non traditional student part of the college website. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) Could he apply to one of the special tech jobs for ASD people rather than more schooling? Do gaming degrees lead well into employment? and could he explore what day to day work would be like before sinking lots of time and presumably money into it? Has he done programming and does he enjoy doing that? From Reddit: “. Professional game development is a beast of its own right, and frankly, not everyone enjoys it. Low pay, long hours, and when you finally make something your baby just gets made fun of on reddit. You don't want to be trapped in a job you don't like just because you do like the final product.” Edited May 4, 2020 by Pen 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 I'm glad your son is having his own ideas about how to move forward now, but it is concerning that he quit his job. He may need extra support to really understand that people often work at jobs that they don't like, because having a job is in itself important. I know I've mentioned checking with your state vocational rehabilitation before; this is what they do!! About college plans.... I think there are pros and cons to his idea. I have a friend whose son with Asperger's is in his second year of art school, learning video game design. They have problems getting him through this program, because he only want to take the classes that he is interested in. He doesn't see the big picture that he needs to have a breadth of knowledge beyond his specific interest in a specific skill. The required courses that he doesn't like still need to be taken. The assignments still need to happen, and his parents have to give him significant support at home to help him get through his projects. There is a significant chance that their son will complete his four years in game design at an art school but then not have the flexibility to find employment or stay employed. Meanwhile, his parents are paying a lot of money for a degree that no one knows if he will use. His parents are supportive and optimistic, but they are finding the college years hard and the future uncertain. Before your son starts classes, I think he would benefit from career counseling of some sort. And he probably will need to be willing to use the disability support options at the college. I hope it goes well, but I just advise you to think realistically and not totally expect this new idea to launch him on the right path. I hope it does!! But be prepared, if it does not. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) My son with autism is still in high school, but we have reasons to be concerned that he will have a hard time finding and keeping employment. DS wants to be a musician and actually has some talent, but his idea that the only job he wants is to be in a famous band.....it's preventing him from being able to consider other options that are more likely. We are huge supporters of his music; we buy instruments and pay for lessons, etc. But when we suggest that he consider learning other job skills -- even when they are music related -- he resists. For these kind of reasons, he is in our state's teen vocational rehabilitation program. I'm really thankful he has a team of people who are helping us figure this out with him, and that we as parents don't have to bear the burden of it alone. So there are reasons that I keep suggestion vocational rehabilitation to you. I don't want you to bear the burden for helping your son to figure this out, all alone, when there are professionals who work in this area who could be on his team. Edited May 4, 2020 by Storygirl 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Getting a job in the gaming industry is highly competitive. I have a kid doing a cs degree right now who does game development on the side. He is considering the game development path. He is also a music major so does composition and is interested in digital music, etc. You either need to be a self starter that can build something that gets some attention. Which is a bit of a lottery. Or you have to win the lottery of having an interesting enough portfolio to get a big game company's attention. It's a hard gig. I guess I'd want him to discuss with a counselor and talk about the realities of pursuing that with JUST the thought of being a games developer. I think if it's a comp sci degree it could be fine if he understands he may need to be flexible. Some developers work a day job while they try to establish themselves in game design. I would be concerned about the quick turnaround and change of mind with only 2 weeks of work. A more adult approach would have been to realize that wasn't a great fit and to being working on this on the side while at least working part time and earning some money. So this buys him until fall with nothing to do? If he is now more receptive to do something maybe this would be a good time to find him counseling and possibly therapy and services? I'd look and see what is available locally. It could really help him hone in something he can be successful with and take some of the stress of it off your plate. Has he done any courses on game design? He could do a class on Unity game development in Udemy for super cheap. That might be a low risk to give that a trial if he hasn't done much software development/coding. I actually have a comp sci background and have played with that a bit. Real games are built on it, it's a powerful and free tool. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 I'd probably be the mean mom saying that he needs to work while he waits to go to school. Saying he wants to go to school is an easy way of kicking the can down the road until September. Even if he does go, is he just going to do nothing for the next 4 months? A job will further his goals, because it is (duh!) money to pay for things while he is in school! It will also be a reminder that we all have to do things we don't like in pursuit of something we do like. Even if one winds up with their dream job, there are going to be plenty of things to dislike about it. So, for me, if I did get on board with a gaming degree, I would require working until school starts. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 5 minutes ago, FuzzyCatz said: Has he done any courses on game design? He could do a class on Unity game development in Udemy for super cheap. That might be a low risk to give that a trial if he hasn't done much software development/coding. Good idea. I would probably require him to meet some benchmarks like this before plunking down tuition money. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 No matter what when he does go to college again, please make sure he gets in touch with their disabilities department (even if he thinks he doesn’t need it). He has changed his mind with classes a lot and he may be overwhelmed with just going/completing the classes more than you think. Perhaps, a class or two at the community college while he works might be a good way to go. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Just an update on my post. This would be a good introductory course in game programming for $12.99. A course or 2 like this would be an excellent set up to successful college work and if he has access to a PC, he should have no issues with the tools needed. My son did a couple of these in high school. https://www.udemy.com/course/unitycourse/ 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggie18 Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 You said he's on the Autism spectrum-does he have a case manager who is helping him obtain needed services? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted May 5, 2020 Author Share Posted May 5, 2020 12 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said: Has he done any courses on game design? He could do a class on Unity game development in Udemy for super cheap. That might be a low risk to give that a trial if he hasn't done much software development/coding. I actually have a comp sci background and have played with that a bit. Real games are built on it, it's a powerful and free tool. Yes, he's been working on that for a while and loving it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted May 5, 2020 Author Share Posted May 5, 2020 8 hours ago, maggie18 said: You said he's on the Autism spectrum-does he have a case manager who is helping him obtain needed services? No, we've never done anything like that. He has been to counseling and one of those times was to talk careers. That counselor didn't help a great deal. I did speak to a couple of attorneys about the possibility of disability and both of them told me the same thing. He's got too much going for him to qualify. One even told me he didn't need voc rehab because he's proven he can find and keep work and voc rehab would put him in any job they found and he'd probably not like it. I have no idea if that is true but at the time he was just leaving trade school and was trying to figure out what to do. He was job hunting so at least he was on the right path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted May 5, 2020 Author Share Posted May 5, 2020 We let ds quit this grocery job because it wasn't a good fit for him. He did ask if there was anything else in the store he could do and they didn't have any other openings. It took him over a month to find that job. He put in a lot of applications and was rejected for a few jobs which was disappointing. How does one get rejected for being a cart attendant at a hardware warehouse? This is just a bad time to be job hunting. I don't mind him not working outside the home because he does help around the house. He's not totally sitting idle, anymore than I am I guess. We did look into the disability office of the first college he went to and they had a lot of paperwork that needed to be turned in that we didn't have. He's only ever had one testing experience and that was when he was 10 years old. I don't even know where that report is and it doesn't matter anyway because his name is only halfway through the report while another boy's name is in the other half. I was totally disappointed. We were told he'd have to go to a different college that did testing for Aspergers and participate in a 2-day testing situation that lasted about 8 hours each day. Both DH and ds refused to do that, so he just took courses without any disability help. I don't know why DH and ds refuse assistance. Ds is a straight A student so he's done well in all classes. He's smart as a whip. He can write beautifully, he just doesn't like to do so. He insists that he'll have a better attitude this time around. We'll see. As for the specific degree, I don't think it really matters. Just having a degree of any kind is better than nothing. His dream is to open his own game company and hire people to do all the work while he manages the company. I seriously doubt he'll be able to break into the industry but I'm not going to squelch his enthusiasm for working on this degree. Everyone has a right to chase a dream and he's got support while he does so. That has got to count for something. He'll learn through trial and error like most of us. If he can't get into the industry, maybe another door will open. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 7 hours ago, Night Elf said: No, we've never done anything like that. He has been to counseling and one of those times was to talk careers. That counselor didn't help a great deal. I did speak to a couple of attorneys about the possibility of disability and both of them told me the same thing. He's got too much going for him to qualify. One even told me he didn't need voc rehab because he's proven he can find and keep work and voc rehab would put him in any job they found and he'd probably not like it. I have no idea if that is true but at the time he was just leaving trade school and was trying to figure out what to do. He was job hunting so at least he was on the right path. You need to talk to the vocational rehabilitation people, not attorneys who do not work for vocational rehab. Their thoughts were just OPINIONS. They don't work there. Don't let someone else's opinions keep you from looking into a good source of help. The vocational rehab program will actually screen him to see if he applies. The fact that he cannot mange to stay in school or hold a job are major red flags that can help him qualify. Even though the reason that he can't hold those positions is that he quits (and is not fired). Not being able to sustain work or persist at things that are required -- those are part of the autism disability. I believe he had his autism diagnosis updated a year or so ago, right? So he has some recent documents that he can provide. My son's vocational rehabilitation program deliberately works to help the clients improve job skills and find jobs that SUIT them. They don't just throw them into a random job. Part of what your son needs to learn and accept is that he will need to start at a low level of whatever work he does and work his way up. And at the low levels, oftentimes, the job feels less rewarding, but he needs to be able to persists. That is something that the vocational rehabilitation people would work on with him. His first jobs probably will not be fully satisfying to him, and he may start in jobs that are not directly related to his ultimate goals, but that is part of the experience of being an employed person. He might qualify for a job coach to work with him, either in a small group, or one on one, who can help him through this. So don't take the word of the attorneys that you talked to. Contact vocational rehabilitation (and you should also be able to look up information on your state website) and talk to THEM. If he doesn't qualify, they will tell him that. But if he DOES, it is worth trying! Honestly, helping people, like your son, who have disabilities such as autism, which inhibit employment, is EXACTLY what vocational rehabilitation services does. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 About the college disability office. Try again. One of the things about autism is the tendency to have rigid thinking. So when something doesn't work one time, people with ASD might think it will never work. But you have an updated autism diagnosis now, correct? So it's not just that old evaluation report that he would have to turn in to the disability office. And if it is a different school, what they have to offer will be different than the other school. Plus, college is super expensive. Before embarking on that, it would likely be a good financial choice to pay privately for educational psychological testing for him, to get a report that would list out suggested accommodations at the college level. Would it be expensive? Sure, but not as expensive as paying college tuition and having him drop out again, because he doesn't have the support that might help him achieve a degree. And he had one counselor that proved to be not so effective. Try again!! Find someone else. Because he is an adult, he should be involved in making these decisions, but if he is not able to get to the point to decide these things for himself, you and your husband could make them a requirement in order for you to pay college tuition for him (assuming that you will be paying, since he has no income). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 Night Elf, I am so supportive of your efforts to help your son, and I know that you have your own personal issues that you are working through. I really don't think you need to have the burden of figuring out how to launch your son into adult life on your own. I genuinely feel for you, because I have these same kind of concerns for my son, though he is younger. There is a reason that he is having difficulties, and there are professionals who can help. I just want that for you and your son and your whole family. ((Hugs)) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 Storygirl, I really appreciate your words. I can foresee some similar issues with my own son and I hope I remember some of this as we approach adulthood. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggie18 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 (edited) On 5/5/2020 at 3:49 AM, Night Elf said: No, we've never done anything like that. He has been to counseling and one of those times was to talk careers. That counselor didn't help a great deal. I did speak to a couple of attorneys about the possibility of disability and both of them told me the same thing. He's got too much going for him to qualify. One even told me he didn't need voc rehab because he's proven he can find and keep work and voc rehab would put him in any job they found and he'd probably not like it. I have no idea if that is true but at the time he was just leaving trade school and was trying to figure out what to do. He was job hunting so at least he was on the right path. I wasn't talking about him applying for SSI, I was talking about him obtaining services based on his Autism diagnosis-services like case management, supported living services, day programs, etc. And I agree with the PP who said that it's totally worth it for him to apply at Voc Rehab. They can help with lots of things that are barriers for him. Edited May 6, 2020 by maggie18 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggie18 Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Also he could get those services even if he was not receiving SSI. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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