Kids activities- do you miss them? Will you go back?

[teachermom2834]

As much as everyone misses all their activities I also think some people might decide that they didn’t really miss them or enjoy them as much as they thought or they might decide they weren’t worth the expense. People do a lot of things just out of habit.  Of course, some people won’t return to the activities because of financial difficulties and some businesses won’t survive. 
 

My dd dances and while it is just recreational in nature for her she had ended up in multiple shows, multiple studios. She would have had productions with three different studios this spring. I had already regretted it before everything was cancelled but now I am sure we wouldn’t do that again. She will go back to dance but she doesn’t miss it that much and it wasn’t that sad to lose all the shows and of course it saves us money. I think when we return we’ll be more discriminating about what we agree to.

I don’t miss the idea of summer camps even though we aren’t there yet. I always felt like the kids had to do something and attend a few day camps over the summers. Since we’ve been involved in 4-H that has meant overnight camps. I guess I don’t love that. The expense, transportation, worry (if overnight), etc. I’m not too disappointed about missing those for my 11 yo. I imagine we will do some of that in future years when available but I don’t think I’ll feel as inclined to have to find something to do. I often felt like I paid too much for what the camps were. I will likely be more discriminating about that in the future too.

My 17 yo is missing summer 4-H conferences that really are more personal development/leadership experiences for him. He has done so much of it in the past he might have already gained from that what he would in skills but it would have been his last chance at some of those. So that is sad. I am glad he has always attended everything in the past and didn’t just say “next year”. I had already had an attitude that next year is never guaranteed so he should seize the day and try to do everything he could but this experience really reinforces the idea of taking the opportunity when it exists and not just assuming the next year is a given. 

And thoughts on how the forced hiatus has made you think differently about things you were involved in?

[Hannah]

We are into week 3 of a 5 week lockdown.  My daughters miss their horseriding.  They both ride three or four times a week and not having that outlet is catching up with them.  Both are in a funk. Other school and university activities, not so much.

[Carrie12345]

This is a hard one for me.  As FB keeps reminding me, April is historically our busiest month. It’s usually filled with Little League, musical theater, art shows, ed fairs, competitions, spring dances, etc. And then all of the similar events that friends are in and we attend.  Every year it’s super stressful, but rewarding.

I’m thoroughly enjoying the break from all of that, and I do hope that I remember to not jam pack our schedule in the future, but I definitely don’t want to give it all up forever.  I’m good with just appreciating the forced break for now.

[MEmama]

We are way past the little kid, keep busy activities. DS is a pretty serious runner and we aren’t sure yet how not having a spring track season will affect potential recruiting opportunities by colleges. It’s a huge loss for all of us. His one summer camp, a running camp, has recently been cancelled; not only are we super bummed for him, but DH and I were going to take that opportunity to go on a trip for just the two of us. I can’t see a way DS will be able to lifeguard and teach this summer either, nor will his courses at MIT still be held. Pretty huge losses all around. But again, we don’t spend our days running around any more. His are all personal development, leadership building, transcript and resume building activities so the loss looks different than the litany of social activities for younger kids that involve active parental involvement.

Eta we only get one more year of his high school activities, so I am feeling the loss keenly. I don’t wanna miss out on anything he does! 😞 

Edited April 15, 2020 by MEmama

[PeterPan]

We're normally out a lot for therapies, doing lots of driving, so it's a HUGE relief not to have that. If we could continue receiving tele services but have more socially engaging activities return (co-op field trips and outings, play dates), that would be about perfect.

[Tenaj]

We have kids who play sports so spring is traditionally crazy with baseball every night.  This spring we were supposed to have five different teams going by this time.  I don't mind the break but am sad for my senior guy who was looking forward to his last baseball season.

I knew but didn't really 'know' how much of our social life was centered around the kids sports.  Lockdown hit just a few days after the crazy running-around-every-day four month long basketball season.  Thud!  It's been weird.  I think the kids are doing better with it than I am-lol!

[teachermom2834]

12 minutes ago, MEmama said:

We are way past the little kid, keep busy activities. DS is a pretty serious runner and we aren’t sure yet how not having a spring track season will affect potential recruiting opportunities by colleges. It’s a huge loss for all of us. His one summer camp, a running camp, has recently been cancelled; not only are we super bummed for him, but DH and I were going to take that opportunity to go on a trip for just the two of us. I can’t see a way DS will be able to lifeguard and teach this summer either, nor will his courses at MIT still be held. Pretty huge losses all around. But again, we don’t spend our days running around any more. His are all personal development, leadership building, transcript and resume building activities so the loss looks different than the litany of social activities for younger kids that involve active parental involvement.

Eta we only get one more year of his high school activities, so I am feeling the loss keenly. I don’t wanna miss out on anything he does! 😞 

I understand this. I think one of the reasons I am so okay with my 11 yo dd missing activities is that I have older kids and the hits are just so much harder. My oldest is graduating college and supposed to be starting his career. My second will graduate in December and his current job and career plans are really crushed. My 17 yo can’t get back his last high school summer and the plans he had for it. But my dd ? Anything she can do when she is 11 she can also do when she is 12. So while I am sorry for her it is more of a blip than for my big kids/young adults. 
 

My oldest is an athlete (had his senior college season cancelled by this) and I know we would have felt crushed to have his late high school seasons cancelled and the impact that would have had on his college plans. 🙁 

[SamanthaCarter]

We do spring lacrosse and children’s choir. We will return to both next school year. We don’t have many other away activities apart from church and youth group. 

[happypamama]

We miss ours, but I do love not having to go anywhere, chase the toddler, or cut up my day.  Four of my kids do karate, together, and a fifth kid does an art class. Yes, we will go back, but I am savoring the open week as long as I can. (I can't switch to night or weekend classes. The art class is only offered one morning, but it is also my grocery shop time normally. And karate is a homeschool class and their main chance to see friends.  Plus evening classes are by age, so I'd be there for three hours instead of one.)

[Ausmumof3]

I love the break and would be happy not to do activities forever but the kids love and miss stuff.  So we will be back when they are back.

[Wheres Toto]

We didn't have too many outside activities.  Dd did TKD 3 or 4 nights a week and recently received her first black belt.   The dojo has been putting out video lessons but she hasn't wanted to do any of them so I'm wondering if she's going to want to go back.  I think we may push a little bit if she's reluctant because it's her main form of exercise and she really needs it.  Plus the rest of us would go to the gym while she was at class.  

I'm wondering a little bit about our 4H clubs too.  I'm leader for 2 clubs, one that was new this year and one that I've been doing for 6 years.   Neither are the type of activities that can be done online so both are on hold now.   Problem one will be if my co-leader wants to continue.   I think she will.   Problem two is if there are limits on group sizes.   The older group is only about 9-10 kids so wouldn't be a problem.  The other one had about 20 plus a lot of parents that hung out.   That newer one also has a lot of younger kids and it's a very hands-on/shared resource activity (robotics).   I could see having to split the group into separate meetings by age and maybe by skill level.  We were getting ready to start a group for the more advanced kids that happened to all be homeschoolers so we were doing it in the afternoon instead of the evening.   But of course, who knows how many may decide not to return.

[ScoutTN]

My kids both do church youth group, Scouts/AHG, and piano. Dd also does a very low key dance program. Each activity is very valuable and worth the time and money. Kids love them all and will absolutely go back. Suffering now for not having them, at least not in the usual way. 

[Miss Tick]

Dance, scouts, piano, German, book club, co-op, Nerf club have all moved online after a 2 week spring break. So my kids are still pretty busy, but my evenings are less crowded without any of the associated driving. We are back to not being able to eat dinner together, but it is a reasonable trade-off. If my kids don't have activities I have to have so many more conversations.

[Soror]

The kids do TKD Tues/Thurs and Scouts Monday.

The kids really miss TKD and I find it to be very worthwhile for many reasons. 

I am not missing Scouts, I ended up starting and leading a new Troop as dd wanted to join but we could get  anyone else to lead (we really did try but after months of people backing out gave up). It has been a lot of work(10x more than what it would have been if district had not screwed up and lost my paperwork multiple times) and the pay off hasn't been worth it, TBH. I don't know how it is going to evolve. School is out the rest of the year and typically our schedule is tied to the school calendar. Summer camp is still on as of now but who knows for the future. I know I had already decided we would not be as busy this coming fall as we were last. I refuse to have it take over my calendar again, especially as my youngest 2 can't even participate. Dd2 will be old enough next winter but doesn't think she even wants to join and who knows if dd1 will still be interested after started PS in the fall. I am past caring at this point.

WE did have hs stuff 3 Fridays a month, I've led a local group off/on for 10 yrs. I had just decided this winter that I was done. So we were just visiting with friends on Fridays, I think that is worthwhile but don't miss organized events, it was always a lot of hassle when come to find out the kids would just as soon hang with friends anyway.

My kids are involved in year round swimming - I think we will have to do that.  They need the exercise and it is some time off in the evening for me.  I really don’t miss the running around every evening and being forced to fit everything in before swim starts.

my kids also participate in Trail Life and AHG - we will keep that up because my daughter only has one year left before she graduates.  I like the skills it teaches them and it is their main source of friends.

one son does 4H metalworking and that we would go back to as long as the location where it is held is able to stay open.  It is highly dependent on school field trips for funding,   
 

while my kids don’t know this yet, I have no intention of going back for homeschool choir in the fall.  It has been irritating to me all year...huge numbers of kids sitting there all afternoon, people bringing sick kids because the whole family has to come because it is spread out all afternoon, dirty church, groups of boys sitting on the floor sharing electronics while waiting for class, six hour time commitment on concert days, giant reception afterwards with kids running around grabbing food with dirty hands... my kids like it, but they like a lot of things.  I was sick three times this winter, this one is GONE.

 

[Heatherwith4]

  We don’t have a ton of outside activities.  So we will probably go back to all of them.  I don’t miss having to drive so much, but I know my kids miss their friends and their activities.  

[wendyroo]

My kids miss their classes.
I miss the respite the classes buy me.
I miss them burning energy in their gym class.
I miss being able to outsource some of the art/Spanish/music/logic teaching.
I miss the structure the classes give to our days.
I miss the down time in the car with everyone strapped into a seat listening to audiobooks.
I miss the brief adult interactions I had at drop offs and pick ups.
I miss the important intelligibility gains DD was making in speech therapy.
I miss being able to hand DS off to his ABA therapists for 20 hours each week.

I have always been very discerning about classes we participate in...activities that are valuable, enriching, socially/emotionally/academically positive, user-friendly, conveniently fitted into our routines and schedules and generally worth the time and money.

The kids will be returning to all of their activities as soon as it is safe.

[Shoeless]

We will return to art class, but are unlikely to return to chess club. He likes chess, but the distance is way too far and it left me feeling drained. I may look for a different activity, but I will not push hard if he says "No thanks!" and wants to stick to just art. 

[historically accurate]

My oldest is a senior, so her activities are gone as they are run through a local private high school (she won't be in high school when we return to regular programming) and her community college (she graduates in May). We are awaiting a decision on Fall semester - she is supposed to go to Alabama. I don't know how activities will happen if she is at home still. She does not drive yet, so driving her to community college was a huge time suck for me (30 minutes away meant 2 hours driving daily), so I do not miss that at all. 

Other two will return to TaeKwonDo and their respective youth groups. I am currently loving the break from 4 evenings per week at TaeKwonDo, and I am hesitant to let it take over our schedule again. But both of them love it so it will definitely make the cut. We will probably cut out one-time classes like library activities in order to find more time. We will also probably cut back on mental and physical therapy for middle DD; she has been coping very well during the quarantine, so maybe we can cut those by a little.

I am on the fence about returning to co-op. Middle DD would really like teachers other than me for high school, but I am leery as I don't see how it can run safely (it's really packed into the facility), and it takes 1 entire day and only one of her classes is a credit class. However, it is a nice break for me since one of my really good friends attends as well, and that day is my main day of socializing personally.

[Arcadia]

My teens miss their recreational tennis coaches and their recreational German classmates though they “see” their German classmates in Zoom. Mine are introverts but they enjoy chatting with their classmates and tennis coaches. Saturday was the only day DS14 gets out of the house for these activities.  We are definitely returning to both.

[lmrich]

I am past this stage too. BUT I enjoy seeing the kids riding bikes in the street, running around outside (not playing with each other), but it looks like when I was a kid - kids outside. Prior to this, I saw kids (young elementary kids) get off the bus, go inside, and later leave in sports gear to go to the next thing. They never played outside.

[Storygirl]

My children miss their activities and will want to return to them. They are all teens and have special interests that require a lot of driving from me. I hate the normal driving and the way that I have to work our family life around their outside commitments, so I have been glad for this break, but I know that our busyness will return once it is allowed, with some modifications for health and safety. I think some of their activities (like band and choir) may not be able to continue in the same way as before, but that remains to be seen.

DD18 is a senior this year, and until she was 16, she was a ballet dancer in an intense pre-professional program. It was a hard decision for her to give it up (after a hip injury that caused chronic pain), but now I am glad that she did. All of the dancers from her year are missing their final performances, their graduation recognition, etc. For dancers, as for many high school athletes, the senior year is the final time that they will dance; most don't go on to professional careers or college dance programs, so having a sudden end instead of ending on a peak is very, very heart wrenching. I am glad that DD18 is not having to go through that now, at the same time that she is losing so many other senior year things.

So I don't miss the activities. But we are in a phase of life where, when they start back up again, my teens will be raring to participate. For now, they are content to be at home, and so am I. I'm glad that they are not going crazy with this down time.

[mommyoffive]

This is something that we will have to think about.  Part of it is dependent on when things are really safe to be out and about again.  How financially we get through this time.  And then it will be talking to the kids and making a family choice.  

I really love giving up our biggest activity which is dance.  It is a 2 plus hour round trip to get there, I hate driving and traffic.  The one school tuition for a month is year was over $1200 for the kids, which goes up every year.    We were doing that 6-7 days a week.  Add in rehearsals and shows and my gosh it was draining dh and us.   Obviously the money for us was nuts, and could be spent on tons of other things.  But it was also amazing to see them progress and learn new things.  They have great teachers and have had some amazing experiences from dance.   And were going to have some this summer too.  So if they want to go back and as a family we decide it is safe and in our best interest we will do it.  

I am not sure that they want to go back either.   They are loving being home and having time to do the things we didn't before.  Bike rides, raising chickens, playing all day, not rushing.   

As my kids are getting older you realize like the OP said that you have to take advantage of things and not put them off for next year.   I think this pandemic is teaching that to people too.  IF I had just younger kids I would not be jumping back into the running around.  But with older kids I would be.  

Our other smaller activities (cost wise) we will be back to no question because they are local. 

[catz]

I have a teen chomping at the bit to get back at her activities.  Some of her stuff will probably be modified for the foreseeable future.  A bunch of her stuff is having online stuff which is GREAT.  

So yes, we miss them and we will be back.  Activities and outside classes/co-op have always been part of our educational plan.

[Terabith]

My eldest was pretty much just doing community college classes, and the loss of that is HARD.  Online learning is not working well for her.  Only other thing she was doing really was an art lesson every other week, which they're doing on zoom.  Both kids played D&D on Saturdays; that's continuing with Zoom.  Will definitely go back.  Younger one had a Tuesday D&D group that will definitely return to and art lessons on alternate weeks from oldest.  She was doing tutoring....I think maybe we'll stop that.  

[edelweiss]

Younger daughter (just turned 17) was a serious ballet dancer until a year ago.  She aspired to become a professional, attended an intense pre-pro program 6 days a week, spent summers at intensives, was offered spots at several residential programs, etc.  About a year ago, she decided that professional dance was not her desire anymore.  She took a break for a few months and then started back at another ballet studio.  Now she dances just 3 days a week and has declined any performances.  I am SOOOO grateful that she stepped away from the idea of becoming a professional before this pandemic hit.  Professional ballet is a really hard path, and I think it is going to become even more so because of this.  I suspect that some smaller companies may not make it, so available spots will be even fewer.  I really feel for the kids who are older and who want to go the professional route.  Their training is really going to suffer during this and there is so much uncertainty involved.  I am so glad that my daughter isn't in the midst of that now.  

We have a full dance studio in our house and my daughter is still doing ballet classes now.  She actually isn't doing any of the Zoom classes that her studio is offering.  Instead she is doing some of the classes being given my some professional ballerinas.  She is really enjoying them a lot.  I haven't discussed it with her, but I am not sure if she will go back to her current studio when it becomes possible to do so.  I wouldn't be surprised if she chose not to.  Right now it seems like she just wants to do ballet class on her own.  Her current studio is wonderful, but they do pressure her to do performances, train more days, become a trainee, etc.  I know that she doesn't love that.

DD17 is also taking piano.  She is doing the lessons via FaceTime right now and that is working out well.  She doesn't plan to drop piano.  

DD19 rides horses competitively.  She was competing in a winter circuit in Florida when this pandemic hit.  Her two horses are still in Florida, and she misses riding them terribly.  That activity is not going away for her.  She has been riding since she was 6 and hopes to make a career of it.  

 

[mommyoffive]

5 minutes ago, edelweiss said:

Younger daughter (just turned 17) was a serious ballet dancer until a year ago.  She aspired to become a professional, attended an intense pre-pro program 6 days a week, spent summers at intensives, was offered spots at several residential programs, etc.  About a year ago, she decided that professional dance was not her desire anymore.  She took a break for a few months and then started back at another ballet studio.  Now she dances just 3 days a week and has declined any performances.  I am SOOOO grateful that she stepped away from the idea of becoming a professional before this pandemic hit.  Professional ballet is a really hard path, and I think it is going to become even more so because of this.  I suspect that some smaller companies may not make it, so available spots will be even fewer.  I really feel for the kids who are older and who want to go the professional route.  Their training is really going to suffer during this and there is so much uncertainty involved.  I am so glad that my daughter isn't in the midst of that now.  

We have a full dance studio in our house and my daughter is still doing ballet classes now.  She actually isn't doing any of the Zoom classes that her studio is offering.  Instead she is doing some of the classes being given my some professional ballerinas.  She is really enjoying them a lot.  I haven't discussed it with her, but I am not sure if she will go back to her current studio when it becomes possible to do so.  I wouldn't be surprised if she chose not to.  Right now it seems like she just wants to do ballet class on her own.  Her current studio is wonderful, but they do pressure her to do performances, train more days, become a trainee, etc.  I know that she doesn't love that.

DD17 is also taking piano.  She is doing the lessons via FaceTime right now and that is working out well.  She doesn't plan to drop piano.  

DD19 rides horses competitively.  She was competing in a winter circuit in Florida when this pandemic hit.  Her two horses are still in Florida, and she misses riding them terribly.  That activity is not going away for her.  She has been riding since she was 6 and hopes to make a career of it.  

 

 

Agree.  My 2 older kids want (ed) to be pro ballet dancers too.  I hope that this teaches them that they have to have a back up plan.  Something I have said a million times.  Or something else entirely.   But yes, I think the road is going to be even harder now. 

[athena1277]

As much as I love not having to drive my kids everywhere, we will go back to our activities.  Dd17 will be a senior next year.  She’s been really disappointed that so many end of the year events are cancelled, I won’t make her miss next year on my account. I can handle the activities for my younger 2 kids.

[Loowit]

Before all of this hit, we had already cut back on how many activities the kids were doing and were sticking with things they cared about.

I am missing, thought it may sound horrible, DD being gone at school during the day.  She is missing being with her friends at college and really missing her debate team that she has grown close to.  She has had depression and anxiety for several years, and getting out of the house and spending time with friends was really helping, and now she is stuck at home and it is not good for her mental health.

I am not missing having to take DS for allergy shots.  Sitting in the waiting room for over an hour is not fun.  However, the makeup when this is all over will be a pain.  He was on maintenance dose, so only having to go every 4-6 weeks, and now he will have to start going more often once he can start doing them again which could mean a lot of extra shots.

I am not missing scout meetings, but my boys are including DH.  The troop is doing online meetings still, but they are not the same.  The boys are also missing getting to go on campouts and potentially summer camp.  This will be DS17's last summer camp as a scout, and if he misses it I will be very sad for him.

[mlktwins]

3 hours ago, Mom2mthj said:

My kids are involved in year round swimming - I think we will have to do that.  They need the exercise and it is some time off in the evening for me.  I really don’t miss the running around every evening and being forced to fit everything in before swim starts.

 

 

This is us too, but I'm not sure when I'm going to be comfortable with them going back.  Can't wear a mask in the pool and there is no social distancing at swim meets.  

[SKL]

We had trimmed ours quite a bit already, and yes, we do miss them and will go back.

The one thing I am not sure about is AHG (scouting).  It causes stress here for several reasons, and the kids would probably not be sad to see it go.

We will definitely go back to TKD, horse riding, running, and instrumental music as soon as possible.

[Clemsondana]

My kids are 5th and 8th grades are fairly serious about the activities that they do.  We enjoyed the first week off - it coincided with the public school's spring break here so most organizations just canceled everything.  After that most organizations started looking for ways to do things online - zoom karate, facetime violin lessons, sports teams sending workouts to do.  Our scout troop hasn't been meeting online - most of what they were working on at the moment was outside badges like hiking and camping - but depending on when we get to go back to stuff, that may change.  Our science olympiad coach is doing a weekly trivia game night online just to keep the kids connected and thinking.

We are definitely excited about going back to our activities.  My kids are still working on their activities but are missing most of the fun social aspects of it.  Working out in your room is not as much fun as with a trainer or ball coach.  Karate against a homemade dummy is not as much fun as sparring with other kids.  Although I'm doing far less driving, in some ways this takes more parent  time - instead of dropping a kid off at ball practice, my husband is hitting pop flies to field.  Instead of a coach directing exercise, I'm using a timer or holding feet for hamstring exercises.  I've realized that I used to do most of the grading for the co-op class that I teach while sitting at the karate school.  Now I don't have that distraction-free time, and I almost miss the driving time because it was quiet...and we all miss the social part, with the kids hanging out with friends and me visiting with other parents.  While we were busy, we love the community that the coaches, instructors, and other families created for our kids.  

[lulalu]

nm

 

Edited June 29, 2020 by lulalu