Thoughts on summer / fall

[BlsdMama]

I see posts on other boards regarding impact to the fall school year and I just don't foresee any restrictions.  Am I naive?

My thoughts are this:
As a high risk person, I recognize I am likely to get it at some point in the next six months.  My SOLE goal is to just not get it at the apex - when many healthcare workers are out because of illness and equipment/space is at or beyond capacity.  It is not realistic to believe I can avoid it altogether, rather only hopeful that I can delay getting it.

Because of this, don't you think once we've had the majority exposed, restrictions will stop? As a nation, we have a need to produce and sell widgets and provide services.  I believe this will continue into May, but I would be  boggled in June or beyond from an economic standpoint.  I cannot fathom the next school year being impacted.

Thoughts?

[mommyoffive]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/we-cant-shelter-in-place-forever-how-the-coronavirus-lockdown-might-end/ar-BB12rGrT?ocid=spartandhp

[Laura Corin]

The university where I work is assuming a combination of online and in person classes. Online for overseas students who can't make it back. Also possibly for classes with big enrollment where we don't have a large enough room for social distancing. So they are suspecting that there will be limited opening.

[mommyoffive]

2 minutes ago, Happymomof1 said:

 

Yeah, the earlier thread died, but can you see choirs and musicals being performed with masks?  Dancing?  Just not sure how you really do that.

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/video/ballet-dancers-in-china-practice-while-wearing-medical-masks-amid-coronavirus-outbreak/vp-BB10eX2F

[bolt.]

I think by next school year, we will see a cautious return to mostly normal. However, I expect that seriously upgraded cleaning, greater social spacing, and stricter health standards / more flexible sick policies will be a new normal.

I also will be curious about how teachers receiving students who did not fully experience the prior year will experience the necessity of "reviewing" 1/3 of the prior school year before proceeding with the normal curriculum.

[mommyoffive]

1 minute ago, Happymomof1 said:

 Ok, now let's see a choir singing.  Let's see America  from West Side Story performed with masks, Wicked, etc.

 

Yeah I don't know.  I think life is going to be different for little while.  And while all my 5 kids are dancers, and take violin and voice lessons it isn't that important to me right now.   I would like more essential things to open up again.  Doctors, dentists, orthos.   So if the arts have to take a back seat or have to do it a bit differently so that things that are more important can open up, to me so be it.   Now I do think the arts are important, but I just think they are going to have to adjust for a bit.  I have seen choirs and orchestras doing things on zoom.  Hopefully by the time Broadway opens up again, there will be more options.  I know they are closed until June, and who knows after that.  I don't think that is going to be forever. 

[AngieW in Texas]

I can't see school happening as normal in the fall. I'm sure some communities will try it and the death toll will be enormous. Remember that the 1918 flu had a massive resurgence when school started up again in the fall.

I can see partial schooling happening. By this I mean that elementary schools may start up mostly as normal, but with the requirement to eat in their classroom. I think teachers will travel rather than students for specials. I think middle school and high schools will go to A/B system. Half of the students on campus on M/W and half ot them there on TuTh and none on Frday. This will reduce the amount of spread because of less crowding. I also think mask wearing (or some type of face shield) being more of a thing.

My 21yo has already been warned that their university expects to at least start the year online.

[mommyoffive]

2 minutes ago, Happymomof1 said:

For my daughter going off to college in the fall as a freshman, this directly affects her future.  She has already done all of her basics dual credit with the exception of one science class.  She is going to take dance classes, to be in musicals, to be in plays...  So what does her future look like?  And she will work...    Now she isn't going to this University, but almost did Oklahoma City University.  Practically the ENTIRE campus revolves around the performing arts.  There are very few majors other than that.  Julliard?    What are all of the freshman or for that matter, the rest of those students supposed to do?  Just stay home and fight the other millions of people for the few jobs available whenever they open up????

I know.  We need to take precautions.  There may be no other choice.  But I look ahead to the fall and practically hyperventilate.  I don't know what she will do.

 

Yes, I am really sad for anyone that is a senior in high school and up.   Honestly I have no idea if those kind of classes will be offered this summer or fall.  I don't think anyone really does.   I am on other boards that have to do with dance and they think that jobs are going to shrink up because of this.  I would assume so.  Many companies might not make it through.  Shows and concerts have already been cancelled.   Everyone has lost so much money.   And what are the rules going to be for shows in the future?   Instead of a crowd of 1 or 2 thousand will they be limited to groups of less than 100?   It is all guesses at this point. 

Could she take a gap year if you are worried about it?   Maybe things would be more positive and better for her specific major in a year. 

[gstharr]

My 9th grader is signed up to take ap chemistry at Northwestern CTD Summer program.  So, far they have not cancelled.  he is really looking forward to going. But, I am dreading the thought of putting on a plane  to be away from home  for 5 weeks.

[mommyoffive]

1 minute ago, Happymomof1 said:

I know...  That is what I wonder as well..  What would she do in our small town as a gap year?  Get a job...where?  As I said, if this continues ( AND AGAIN I KNOW WE NEED TO), there will be no fast food places,  no small companies.  People raising a family won't have jobs, much less an 18yo kid.  But then I worry about the school she was accepted to, will it survive this?  Will parents pay 20,000 a year to do online classes?  Zoom voice lessons?    See..my brain needs to see the end game, needs to know how to plan.  I have so, so many questions with her future.

 

Ugh.  I am so sorry.  I would be stressing about that stuff too if I had an older child.   This is so hard.  Could she take some online classes that would be more suited to be taught online?  Maybe things that are second tier interests of hers?   Does she have a back up plan if she isn't able to get a job in musical theater?   Maybe spend this year focusing on that.  Then when schools can teach arts classes in a more normal way go back to that.  

Yes, I am so worried about arts in general and if these places are going to be able to make it through.  They are losing tons now.  But in 2 months or 6 months will people be able to spend the $ to put their kids back in lessons?  I would suspect that a  large portion of families or not going to be able to do that. 

Are there other schools that she could go to if this one doesn't make it through?   

I get it, I am a planner too and I was stressing myself out so much in this last month about everything.  I need to plan.  Know what is going on.   In the last 11 days, I let go of that.   I can't plan.  Nobody knows what is going on.  I am just living one day at a time.    When these places let us know if they are opening or running then I will make a choice on what we are going to do.  

[Guest]

My daughter has lost her conferences and field course for this summer. She signed up today for two online classes in cognitive science which interest her. For the fall, we're planning to look for sections that are hybrid (her college has some that are effectivelg online classes taught in a lab on campus with an instructor there to ask questions and proctor) because while she would rather go to campus for emotional reasons, if those become full online it is likely to be much less "hiccuppy” than this semester has been, and to look for classes designed to be online for the rest. I am glad she has her lab science credits already. 
 

Research in her field has largely stopped due to social distancing and stay in place orders, both in the USA and internationally. It is highly likely that this will impede research opportunities for years down the road, since many projects had to be halted and will likely need to be restarted from scratch when this is over in a year or more, and new grad students will be continuing to be produced. It is likely to be hard for undergrads to find a spot. 
 

On the plus, since DD has been teaching online for several years, she is in a good position to use those skills. She will be adding a second class in the fall, and it’s likely demand will be high. 

 

She also is likely to only apply to colleges that she has visited next fall. I’m glad we started doing visits early instead of waiting until Junior year,  because while there are several schools that ideally she would have visited, at least she has several choices where she has been on campus, eaten in the cafeterias, and talked to the faculty. 

[Arcadia]

Canceled and Altered Summer Programs Will Cost Colleges Hundreds of Millions

https://www.chronicle.com/article/CanceledAltered-Summer/248469

“But Tierney and others assume those will be canceled too. They said that even if self-quarantine orders were lifted and sufficient travel options revived in time for families to make arrangements, many parents wouldn’t be psychologically prepared to risk sending their kids onto airplanes and into dormitories and other group settings. Add to that obstacle the sudden financial strain on many families from lost jobs and salary cuts.

While some academic programs can shift relatively smoothly to online, arts and sports camps don’t. The Bates Dance Festival, run by that college, has canceled what would have been its 38th season, serving 300 students and employing 100 faculty members and performers, said its director, Shoshona Currier. The American Camp Association, which accredits 62 athletic, computer-coding, STEM, and other camps at colleges and universities, said that as of this week it knows of two that are opting for online alternatives. The rest are still deciding whether, and how, to move forward.

The American Dance Festival has lost not just the fruits of nine months’ preparation, said Jodee Nimerichter, its executive director, but also up to $800,000 in funding, a serious blow to a program with a $3.5-million annual budget. And, said Michael Schoenfeld, Duke’s vice president for public affairs and government relations, the festival is only one of many sports, STEM, environmental, creative-writing, gifted-and-talented, and other programs that normally bring some 20,000 students to the campus each summer.

“Summer is a multimillion-dollar business for Duke,” Schoenfeld said. Many of the university-run first-session programs are moving online, he said, and administrators are still gauging the outlook for the second session.

Many institutions, like West Virginia University, have canceled all in-person classes through the summer while planning to expand online options. The summer program on that campus last year enrolled 10,750 students, brought in 9.5 percent of the university’s revenue, and involved 2,200 faculty members and 3,500 staff members. The university canceled its many sports camps through June and said it would have updates on later sports sessions.

Summer sessions at Middlebury College account for 7 percent of its annual revenue, said Jeffrey Cason, provost and executive vice president. More than 2,000 students take its 12 language-program courses; enroll in the Bread Loaf School of English, which operates in Vermont, New Mexico, and Oxford, England; participate in the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference; or attend the School of the Environment, in China.”

[lewelma]

I don't think the dorms will open.  There is just too much reputational risk to the universities if 1 or 2 kids die.  Personally, I'm not willing to pay a small fortune for online classes when he can get them for free on edX. But if ds chooses to take a gap year, he will lose standing for dorm placement, and his dorm is his family, so that is just a horrible option for him. I'm also not clear if there will actually be flights back to the USA from NZ, and if he leaves, he won't be allowed back in without a 14 day mandatory quarantine, so he wouldn't have the time to come back for a Christmas visit. Add to all this that the online classes and exams run on EST which is in the middle of the night here.  

My thought right now is to beg.  Beg for a gap year without losing dorm standing.  And then during his gap year, get him to do science research (unpaid I'm sure) either locally or with a MIT prof that can do it online.  

[Joker]

I'll be surprised if dorms are open in the fall. I currently have one college sophomore in an off campus apartment doing online classes and one high school senior. Youngest will be attending the same college as ds in the fall but I don't think they will be moving into a dorm, which really stinks. 

Since I don't expect dorms to be open, I will be surprised if classes don't stay online for fall semester as well. 

I think things will just be very different for a while.

[TheReader]

2 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

I see posts on other boards regarding impact to the fall school year and I just don't foresee any restrictions.  Am I naive?

My thoughts are this:
As a high risk person, I recognize I am likely to get it at some point in the next six months.  My SOLE goal is to just not get it at the apex - when many healthcare workers are out because of illness and equipment/space is at or beyond capacity.  It is not realistic to believe I can avoid it altogether, rather only hopeful that I can delay getting it.

Because of this, don't you think once we've had the majority exposed, restrictions will stop? As a nation, we have a need to produce and sell widgets and provide services.  I believe this will continue into May, but I would be  boggled in June or beyond from an economic standpoint.  I cannot fathom the next school year being impacted.

Thoughts?

So far, both of my son's colleges have switched/announced that ALL summer classes will be online only. One has also switched the Freshmen Orientation weekends to all online as well (and these are a super big deal there). 

I am not sure at what point they will decide it's okay to resume in person classes, but I expect there will be some sort of modified schedule, even when fall starts up. 

[TheReader]

2 hours ago, bolt. said:

I think by next school year, we will see a cautious return to mostly normal. However, I expect that seriously upgraded cleaning, greater social spacing, and stricter health standards / more flexible sick policies will be a new normal.

I also will be curious about how teachers receiving students who did not fully experience the prior year will experience the necessity of "reviewing" 1/3 of the prior school year before proceeding with the normal curriculum.

I am really curious about this, as well. Both of my boys' schools have offered a switch to Satisfactory/Unsatisfactory (which will list as "No Credit - Covid" on the transcript) vs. the standard GPA grading.

How on earth that's going to impact even things like prerequisites, etc. is beyond me. 

[SKL]

I feel cautiously optimistic.  My only hesitation is that some of the teachers are in the "vulnerable" categories.  Will the schools be able to protect them?  Hopefully they will figure it out.  I don't think it is rational to keep all the kids in our country out of school for that long.

They could do online stuff up to a point, but young people need to get together, and kids who aren't great at self-teaching need to have human interaction to learn.

[SKL]

I could see them canceling things like band, sports, and choir just for this year.  That would suck, but it would not be the end of the world.  Hopefully they could give kids a pass on having to take gym and maybe arts.  Or figure out a way to do some of that remotely.

[Kassia]

2 hours ago, Happymomof1 said:

Well, I'm struggling with my daughter going to school to major in musical theater 14 hours from me.  I wan't before Covid.  In fact, happy for her to go.  But with this virus being SO airborne.  If there is not a treatment, I'm trying to figure out how to have choir or musicals or theater?  Actually, I shouldn't be on this thread.  This gives me major anxiety.  I want my child to be able to go.  I don't know what she will do if we are still holed up like this in August when she is supposed to go to the music precamp.  

 

We are in a similar situation with our dd planning on being 18 hours away.  I hate the uncertainty and the whole situation makes me very anxious/depressed.  Her summer research progra was canceled and freshman orientation will be virtual now instead of on campus.  She found a roommate that she was really excited to move in with, which was huge for her since she is introverted with social anxiety.  It's all so sad and I know I need to keep it in perspective - so many are hurting and suffering as a result of this.

 

 

[Arcadia]

2 hours ago, bolt. said:

I also will be curious about how teachers receiving students who did not fully experience the prior year will experience the necessity of "reviewing" 1/3 of the prior school year before proceeding with the normal curriculum.

I am guessing that they might make the incoming students take a subject placement test a month or so before the Fall quarter/semester classes start and put the students who need help (have gaps) in “remedial prep classes” before Fall.

[Guest]

31 minutes ago, TheReader said:

I am really curious about this, as well. Both of my boys' schools have offered a switch to Satisfactory/Unsatisfactory (which will list as "No Credit - Covid" on the transcript) vs. the standard GPA grading.

How on earth that's going to impact even things like prerequisites, etc. is beyond me. 

I wish my daughter's college would. They're the one school in the region that hasn't, and she is very concerned about her grades since homework is now the primary grade in the class, so there is no room to make mistakes, get feedback, learn from them, and then recover on the test. 

[cjzimmer1]

3 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

I see posts on other boards regarding impact to the fall school year and I just don't foresee any restrictions.  Am I naive?

My thoughts are this:
As a high risk person, I recognize I am likely to get it at some point in the next six months.  My SOLE goal is to just not get it at the apex - when many healthcare workers are out because of illness and equipment/space is at or beyond capacity.  It is not realistic to believe I can avoid it altogether, rather only hopeful that I can delay getting it.

Because of this, don't you think once we've had the majority exposed, restrictions will stop? As a nation, we have a need to produce and sell widgets and provide services.  I believe this will continue into May, but I would be  boggled in June or beyond from an economic standpoint.  I cannot fathom the next school year being impacted.

Thoughts?

I think I'm on the complete opposite side of this as you.  I can't imagine trying to restart anything for at least another 2-3 months minimum.  4-6 would probably be a lot safer and even then a gradual approach.  So yeah I'm fully expecting to see schools online in the fall.  The risk of opening them up is enormous. Yes it's going to be very ugly economically but the alternative is even worse.  But I'll be more than happy to be proven wrong!

Edited April 10, 2020 by cjzimmer1

[BarbecueMom]

38 minutes ago, SKL said:

I could see them canceling things like band, sports, and choir just for this year.  That would suck, but it would not be the end of the world.  Hopefully they could give kids a pass on having to take gym and maybe arts.  Or figure out a way to do some of that remotely.

I can't see how they can allow wind instrument groups at all unless they come up with a vaccine.  I was a trumpet player/college major and there is so much spit everywhere.  Horn spit, trombone spit, woodwind spit, angry conductor spit.  A band room is a disgusting germ cesspool in the best of times.

ETA:  Swapping spit happened plenty too.  That's how I got a husband out of high school band, lol.

Edited April 10, 2020 by BarbecueMom

[Roadrunner]

34 minutes ago, SKL said:

I could see them canceling things like band, sports, and choir just for this year.  That would suck, but it would not be the end of the world.  

For dancers and musicians, it might very well be the end of the world.

I don’t know how local orchestras will survive or local concert hall that had 5 months worth of bookings canceled.  They were already struggling and now this might be the final nail in the coffin.

While for most kids not having band or sports or choir isn’t a big deal, it is for serious musicians and athletes. I can’t even suggest that to my son.

So I am going to remain optimistic that we have medicine to treat this virus by Fall and we can be back to normal. I couldn’t bear to think otherwise. 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Happymomof1 said:

For my daughter going off to college in the fall as a freshman, this directly affects her future.  She has already done all of her basics dual credit with the exception of one science class.  She is going to take dance classes, to be in musicals, to be in plays...  So what does her future look like?  And she will work...    Now she isn't going to this University, but almost did Oklahoma City University.  Practically the ENTIRE campus revolves around the performing arts.  There are very few majors other than that.  Julliard?    What are all of the freshman or for that matter, the rest of those students supposed to do?  Just stay home and fight the other millions of people for the few jobs available whenever they open up????

I know.  We need to take precautions.  There may be no other choice.  But I look ahead to the fall and practically hyperventilate.  I don't know what she will do.

Can she defer? 

I know nothing about degrees in musical performance. But *I think* if it were my kid, due to be a college freshman for fall, I would be seriously, definitely considering seeing if dc could have a deferment. 

[PeterPan]

3 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

impact to the fall school year and I just don't foresee any restrictions.  Am I naive?

https://www.insidehighered.com/blogs/confessions-community-college-dean/fall

3 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

My SOLE goal is to just not get it at the apex - when many healthcare workers are out because of illness and equipment/space is at or beyond capacity. 

Some places have already peaked and none are maxing out hospital beds, ventilators, or even the supply of hydroxychloriquine. Some states are preparing to begin testing for community spread and think we're already there. So it may be that from this point on your danger is basically even no matter when you get it. 

3 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

I would be  boggled in June or beyond from an economic standpoint. 

I'm with you. I'm glad to see the president saying his economic task force is working on a plan to get this reversed.

3 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

I cannot fathom the next school year being impacted.

I think it almost assuredly WILL be impacted. Colleges and universities cannot risk another disruption like this. The word on the street I'm hearing is that they're making contingency plans to be online in the fall. Remember too that a lot of things have been disrupted, like how prospective students visit, how college testing is done, etc. And I would think that dorm living conditions are going to be one of the last things they bring back, not the first. So elementary schools, sure get them running. But dorms? That's right up there with cruise ships, and the CDC just shut them down for another 100 days. Boom, gone, done. No cruising till almost August.

3 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

As a high risk person, I recognize I am likely to get it at some point in the next six months. 

My dd is high risk and she just got tested today. All I want is access to the stupid drugs, and the problem is they're holding back for DIAGNOSED patients, not presumed. And the tests are taking 4-7 days. So if she can get diagnosed before she dies, maybe she can get the meds. If the tests in the slow to put in restrictions, don't get me started state were turning around FASTER, it wouldn't be so dangerous. And if I my dd hadn't been going out so much, maybe she wouldn't have been exposed.

So me, that's the discussions I've been having with my doctor, how I get access to the meds. But now I have to figure it out for another state.

[Kassia]

We just received an email today from dd's college saying that they will have the second day of orientation in August "after" move-in day.  I just don't see how they can be certain of that this far ahead.  

[bolt.]

1 hour ago, Arcadia said:

I am guessing that they might make the incoming students take a subject placement test a month or so before the Fall quarter/semester classes start and put the students who need help (have gaps) in “remedial prep classes” before Fall.

I can see that the thread is turning in a post-secondary direction, but when I wrote my comment I was thinking about ordinary grade school. I doubt that they will assess kids in the way you suggest. It seems incredibly unlikely that any reasonable number of children have spontaneously finished a normal amount of curricular learning between March and June of this year. Testing would be a waste. Conceivably they could tack on a few weeks at the beginning of the school year for "remedial prep" -- if they did it for everyone -- but imagine the budgeting around an extra few weeks of instruction for your average public school board.

[Guest]

27 minutes ago, Happymomof1 said:

Did you see my other post on this thread? What exactly is she supposed to do during this deferment?  No jobs? Spend another year trapped in my home?  That is how she will see it.  She needs to move out...  But that may not be possible, but I don't know what in the world she is supposed to do. 

Well, geez. Bite my head off, why don’t ya. 

I didn’t say I had an ideal, wonderful, perfect solution. I said it was what *I* would consider. You know - ME. My young adult is well and truly f*cked for her employment plans. She probably is going to spend a year trapped in my home. Sure as hell isn’t going to be teaching English in another country. 

It sucks! Didn’t say it didn’t suck! 

[Arcadia]

12 minutes ago, bolt. said:

I can see that the thread is turning in a post-secondary direction, but when I wrote my comment I was thinking about ordinary grade school. I doubt that they will assess kids in the way you suggest. It seems incredibly unlikely that any reasonable number of children have spontaneously finished a normal amount of curricular learning between March and June of this year. Testing would be a waste. Conceivably they could tack on a few weeks at the beginning of the school year for "remedial prep" -- if they did it for everyone -- but imagine the budgeting around an extra few weeks of instruction for your average public school board.

I misunderstood and thought you meant for college classes. My school district does testing in the first week of school followed by parent teacher conferences for K-8th. I have no idea what they do for high school but I know some teachers test in the first week for assigned summer homework. 

[bolt.]

4 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

I misunderstood and thought you meant for college classes. My school district does testing in the first week of school followed by parent teacher conferences for K-8th. I have no idea what they do for high school but I know some teachers test in the first week for assigned summer homework. 

That system sounds very different from the one I'm used to. I've never heard of summer homework, and the only testing at the ends of grades 6 and 9 (Before you get to high school where most classes have a final exam and special 'diploma exams' in grade 12.) The grade 6 and 9 tests are to assess the schools, not the students, so they are "not for marks" -- even though the students are encouraged to prepare themselves for them.

I imagine some informal testing (quizzes, etc) happens at the beginning of the year just so the teacher can see what kind of baseline they are working from, but it's never been anything serious.

[cjzimmer1]

48 minutes ago, Happymomof1 said:

Did you see my other post on this thread? What exactly is she supposed to do during this deferment?  No jobs? Spend another year trapped in my home?  That is how she will see it.  She needs to move out...  But that may not be possible, but I don't know what in the world she is supposed to do. 

What is she suppose to do? Suck it up like the hundreds of thousands of other people across the United States who are in the exact same position as her.  She is not some special snowflake (no matter what she or you thinks) who shouldn't have to deal with the uncomfortable/awful/miserable/difficult position.  Yes it truly sucks but her life is not over simply because plans she made have to change.  I can't think of a single person I know who hasn't changed their plans drastically in the last month.  

[prairiewindmomma]

Ds graduates in May. He concluded back in February that his spring trimester would be affected (it was), that he likely couldn't work this spring or summer as a high risk individual (yup), and that life would be disrupted until there is a vaccine.  He made plans to not go to university (turned down scholarship offers) but to finish out a AA at the local cc this next year.  He's staying at home. None of this is ideal, but he's a pragmatic, mature, and flexible kid, for which I am grateful. 

I'm honestly a bit more worried about my son who starts high school in the fall.  We've already had to go to Plan B and I really don't like Plan C. 

[Arcadia]

3 minutes ago, bolt. said:

That system sounds very different from the one I'm used to. I've never heard of summer homework, and the only testing at the ends of grades 6 and 9

Not my district but the first example I could find of a local public high school summer homework  https://leigh.cuhsd.org/apps/pages/index.jsp?uREC_ID=757386&type=d&pREC_ID=1164311
I was from the Cambridge GCSE system which is similar to Canada’s. 

[rebcoola]

I think by fall most things will be back but I think the original ban on groups of more than 250 will still be in place.  Schools maybe in shifts or they may ask for families that can to continue distance learning so they can spread kids out more.  Sports cancelled.  Band, orchestra, drama could possibly continue just without the festivals and large concerts.

[mommyoffive]

Just now, Happymomof1 said:

But please tell me so I can put plans in place. Our town's economy bus collapsing. There will be no jobs. What is she supposed to do???  I honestly don't know.  Please don't be mad at me.  I must figure this out.  What do I tell her?  How do I crush her dreams?  I don't know what to do. I can't breathe.

 

I think right now you just don't plan.  You can't.  You are going drive yourself insane and then things are just going to change.  Changing daily.   Come up with a plan B or C.   Then just take it one day at a time.  

[Donna]

14 hours ago, Roadrunner said:

For dancers and musicians, it might very well be the end of the world.

I don’t know how local orchestras will survive or local concert hall that had 5 months worth of bookings canceled.  They were already struggling and now this might be the final nail in the coffin.

While for most kids not having band or sports or choir isn’t a big deal, it is for serious musicians and athletes. I can’t even suggest that to my son.

So I am going to remain optimistic that we have medicine to treat this virus by Fall and we can be back to normal. I couldn’t bear to think otherwise. 

I can see this changing life for a lot of our musician friends, many of whom make a living playing smaller venues that are generally privately owned small businesses. Not sure how many of these small businesses will survive and be able to hire musicians again. DD's world is her music and, fortunately for her, this is happening when she still lives at home without bills to pay. Can't say the same for many of her friends making a living playing music. Already DD's entire year of music gigs/touring/teaching at camps has been cancelled. She is praying some treatment or vaccine is found and becomes available so her company is able to go back to touring in early 2021.

DD decided to transfer to an online degree program through University because of her touring schedule so will not be much affected if school continues to be online for everyone. She was supposed to do a transfer orientation in May but that has been changed to online. 

Knowing many public schools have basically "given up" on school at home for students this spring (giving children whatever grades they had when school ended), I wonder what will happen to all those students if unable to go back to B&M school in the fall. 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Donna
grammatical error typing fast last night

[cjzimmer1]

Just now, Happymomof1 said:

But please tell me so I can put plans in place. Our town's economy bus collapsing. There will be no jobs. What is she supposed to do???  I honestly don't know.  Please don't be mad at me.  I must figure this out.  What do I tell her?  How do I crush her dreams?  I don't know what to do. I can't breathe.

You simply tell her, life isn't what we expect right now and probably won't be for a while.  Find something to do.  Do you have health risks?  If not got get a job at a grocery store/walmart/gas station.  They are BEGGING for help.  Are stores too far?  Find something to do at home, sew masks, write letters to people in nursing homes, go mow the neighbors grass just because you can. It's not that her dream is dead, she simply has to postpone it right now.  Life will continue at some point and that is the time to worry about those dreams.  Right now it's simply about occupying her time.

[KungFuPanda]

If you haven't seen this, and you need a morale boost, you should watch it.  Skip to the 9 minute mark if you're impatient, but it is worth the high.

 

[Frances]

1 hour ago, PeterPan said:

https://www.insidehighered.com/blogs/confessions-community-college-dean/fall

Some places have already peaked and none are maxing out hospital beds, ventilators, or even the supply of hydroxychloriquine. Some states are preparing to begin testing for community spread and think we're already there. So it may be that from this point on your danger is basically even no matter when you get it. 

I'm with you. I'm glad to see the president saying his economic task force is working on a plan to get this reversed.

I think it almost assuredly WILL be impacted. Colleges and universities cannot risk another disruption like this. The word on the street I'm hearing is that they're making contingency plans to be online in the fall. Remember too that a lot of things have been disrupted, like how prospective students visit, how college testing is done, etc. And I would think that dorm living conditions are going to be one of the last things they bring back, not the first. So elementary schools, sure get them running. But dorms? That's right up there with cruise ships, and the CDC just shut them down for another 100 days. Boom, gone, done. No cruising till almost August.

My dd is high risk and she just got tested today. All I want is access to the stupid drugs, and the problem is they're holding back for DIAGNOSED patients, not presumed. And the tests are taking 4-7 days. So if she can get diagnosed before she dies, maybe she can get the meds. If the tests in the slow to put in restrictions, don't get me started state were turning around FASTER, it wouldn't be so dangerous. And if I my dd hadn't been going out so much, maybe she wouldn't have been exposed.

So me, that's the discussions I've been having with my doctor, how I get access to the meds. But now I have to figure it out for another state.

I’m so sorry about your daughter. but I don’t agree that it doesn’t matter when you get it. There is still lots being learned about best treatments, drugs, etc. Unless there is a shortage of the best drugs to treat it, I think the longer one can hold out not getting it the better.

[Guest]

22 minutes ago, Happymomof1 said:

Oh Quill. You misunderstood my tone.  I'm just hysterical, not mad at you! Your poor daughter. This just isn't fair...  I wasn't biting your head off. I promise!

Ok. I can accept that explanation. 

Let me offer: it is in your (and your child’s) best interest to start working on a re-frame.  This is a major, colossal disruption and is likely the first such experience for a large number, probably millions, of people in the world. Entire industries are absolutely cratered. My BIL is trying to get work at a grocery store. He is a chef! A good one! His dream is not to work at a grocery store! But he can’t do the chef thing for the indefinite future. He’s got two little kids and a house they just bought before Christmas. So he’s going to try getting employed in *something* he can do. There must be many hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people with a story like this. COVID-19 wasn’t on anyone’s schedule as “crap we have to deal with this year”. 

[J-rap]

My own thoughts (not really based on anything) is that many or most summer activities will be cancelled, but schools will start up again in the fall, although highly restricted.

I think I read somewhere that 70% of the population needs to have had it before we can really start feeling comfortable.

[marbel]

56 minutes ago, Happymomof1 said:

But please tell me so I can put plans in place. Our town's economy bus collapsing. There will be no jobs. What is she supposed to do???  I honestly don't know.  Please don't be mad at me.  I must figure this out.  What do I tell her?  How do I crush her dreams?  I don't know what to do. I can't breathe.

Who are you asking to tell you so you can put plans in place?  What do you think anyone can tell you? Everyone here is in a bad position in some way. I have two college juniors stuck at home with me now, who two months ago were living at school, loving it, moving along with their studies, anticipating the future, and now... they are also wondering what they are going to do this summer since all their plans fell through.  This summer and beyond. 

You cannot plan their way out of this. No one can. There is no planning now; there is no end game. What you have is to get through this time as best you can. What you cannot do is sit around panicking and communicating to your daughter that her future is screwed and everything is awful. Which I don't presume to think you are doing, but... you sound like it here. You need to help her see a life beyond Covid19 even if she can't plan it right now.

I am not  yelling at you, if it sounds like it. But you have said in thread after thread that you need to plan, that you need to see the end game... you aren't going to get that right now. None of us are.

[Scarlett]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

Well, geez. Bite my head off, why don’t ya. 

I didn’t say I had an ideal, wonderful, perfect solution. I said it was what *I* would consider. You know - ME. My young adult is well and truly f*cked for her employment plans. She probably is going to spend a year trapped in my home. Sure as hell isn’t going to be teaching English in another country. 

It sucks! Didn’t say it didn’t suck! 

It does suck, but at least they both have FOOs with homes they can be trapped in. 

[Corraleno]

49 minutes ago, Happymomof1 said:

But please tell me so I can put plans in place. Our town's economy bus collapsing. There will be no jobs. What is she supposed to do???  I honestly don't know.  Please don't be mad at me.  I must figure this out.  What do I tell her?  How do I crush her dreams?  I don't know what to do. I can't breathe.

How do you expect to "figure this out" when the most brilliant, well-educated, and experienced minds on the planet are putting everything they have into figuring this out and they don't have answers? Why do you keep insisting that somehow your daughter cannot possibly have her dreams crushed, while millions of other people not only have their college plans put on hold, they are losing their jobs, homes, businesses, and lives? What do you think will actually happen to your daughter if she has to take a gap year? If you really think she cannot possibly handle that level of disappointment, then I would urge you to find her a therapist that will do online visits.

I totally get how painful it is to watch your child's hopes and dreams and plans get crushed. DS's NCAA Championship was cancelled on short notice. He was on the USOC's selection list, and was a top seed for the final Olympic Qualifier after medaling at the previous qualifier, and that was cancelled, too. If classes are online next fall, then varsity athletics will also be cancelled, which means no athletic scholarship, so he will need to take a gap year to preserve his eligibility and scholarship for when things reopen. It's only been a month since he suddenly had to say goodbye to all his friends, pack his things, and head home, and he is already pacing the halls here like a trapped animal. If he's stuck home for another full year, without his friends or teammates, he's going to be utterly utterly miserable — just like millions of other people. And he'll deal with it — just like millions of other people.

If you're looking for suggestions for what to tell your daughter, try this: "I understand how devastated you are, and that you feel like this is the worst thing that could happen to you, but if being stuck home for an extra year really is the worst thing that ever happens to you, then you are truly one of the luckiest people on earth. And if it's not the worst thing that ever happens to you, then maybe some of the patience and resilience you learn from this experience will help you weather worse storms in the future." 

 

[ktgrok]

1 hour ago, Happymomof1 said:

But please tell me so I can put plans in place. Our town's economy bus collapsing. There will be no jobs. What is she supposed to do???  I honestly don't know.  Please don't be mad at me.  I must figure this out.  What do I tell her?  How do I crush her dreams?  I don't know what to do. I can't breathe.

Most likely she is more resilient than you think. People as  whole have gotten through worse things and come out the other side. Plagues, depressions, wars, etc. She will get through this. 

[Liz CA]

I have a feeling that most of us have already been exposed or will be exposed. Some of us have had / will have symptoms, others have none and some have horrible symptoms leading to fatality. I cannot imagine there is any getting away from it.

I don't mean to raise anyone's anxiety - just remember that most people who get it survive.

Edited April 11, 2020 by Liz CA

[Liz CA]

31 minutes ago, Corraleno said:

How do you expect to "figure this out" when the most brilliant, well-educated, and experienced minds on the planet are putting everything they have into figuring this out and they don't have answers? Why do you keep insisting that somehow your daughter cannot possibly have her dreams crushed, while millions of other people not only have their college plans put on hold, they are losing their jobs, homes, businesses, and lives? What do you think will actually happen to your daughter if she has to take a gap year? If you really think she cannot possibly handle that level of disappointment, then I would urge you to find her a therapist that will do online visits.

 

 

This may sound harsh but it is true. Also, as countless previous disasters, world wars and epidemics have proven, people are like tea bags - your don't know how strong you are until you are in hot water. This is how we become resilient. It's painful because all growth and stretching comes with pain but it will be the kind of pain that makes those more resourceful who accept the challenge.

[lewelma]

2 hours ago, Happymomof1 said:

But please tell me so I can put plans in place. Our town's economy bus collapsing. There will be no jobs. What is she supposed to do???  I honestly don't know.  Please don't be mad at me.  I must figure this out.  What do I tell her?  How do I crush her dreams?  I don't know what to do. I can't breathe.

I would lay out a clear cut plan for a gap year.  I would plan set hours for online free courses through edX or Coursera.  Think about what courses would be synergistic with music so that this year is about training/learning sideways.  Music education, art therapy/counselling, digital music production, business courses so she open her own shop one day, etc. She can still focus on music, but she needs to think broader than just performance. I would continue to support her dreams, stay positive, but *require* her to broaden her options and train for multiple opportunities in a musical field.

My ds's orchestra is still running. The focus of the online class is now on the physics of wave forms of different musical instruments, and how sound recording equipment and remixing can be effective at retaining proper sound.  Have her think *bigger*.  This is her opportunity to learn stuff she was never going to get around to learning that will one day come in handy.

As for jobs, she should definitely help the community -- Go pick up litter or sew masks, etc.  If she needs a paid job, I would suggest online music lessons for all those kids out there who are currently stuck at home.  There will be rich parents who are keen for personalized attention. Online makes your pull national, so outside the borders of your hard-hit town.

Your posts sound very much like *you* need to calm down.  Things will be OK, and if they are not, you can find a way through. Life is different, not over. Model the can-do attitude that you want her to have. 

Edited April 11, 2020 by lewelma

[mumto2]

My kids were supposed to have a really great summer in the country they grew up in.  Be with their lifelong friends.   We had huge travel plans as for the first time in years they were taking the summer off from classes.  It’s all gone.......we are now sort of dreaming of Christmas there.  It might happen........I am now more concerned about life next fall.  My kids have made many new friends and they were so enjoying their experience.😕
 

Everyone’s plans have changed.  In 20 years I hope this will be a distant memory that our kids (and us ) are able to look back on with somewhat of a blip in the road attitude with some awesome stories of tp hoarding and mom disinfecting everything while she sews masks instead of quilts.  I don’t know a single person who is living normally right now.

So my graduate student kids signed up for some classes today......cheap, undergrad ones, in areas they could improve in or are interested in.  These classes will fill some time this summer.  It’s something somewhat productive for them to do.  They were actually pretty happy looking at their choices which if I am honest made me want to cry.

 My kids aren’t musicians but we know several kids on that path well.  The ones I know are somewhat fluent in foreign languages (ones that you need for Opera especially) and also consider them a necessary life skill for their lifestyle to be.  They want to be able tour and speak the languages.  I know you said she has no other interests but learning a (or another ) foreign language, perhaps some business classes so she can manage her career would not hurt.  There are so many ways this can be done cheap or free and they could add structure to her life.  They might also give her other interests.

Edited April 11, 2020 by mumto2