Are any kids playing with neighbors?

[Calizzy]

We live in suburban Midwest. We have a neighboring family that we are very close with. We have 4 kids, they have 3. Usually, our kids play together everyday. The other mom has said that she is comfortable with them still playing together outside. She says that it’s harder to spread outside, and that our families are both quarantining with little outside contact so she thinks it’s safe. I’m pretty sure this isn’t what the professionals are telling us, right? Does anyone still have kids that are playing with one specific close family as long as it’s outdoors?

[Selkie]

Our governor has specifically said no playdates or getting together with friends.

ETA: We're also in the midwest.

Edited April 6, 2020 by Selkie

[happi duck]

No playing even outside.  If one adult in a household brings the virus home from work or the store then both households are at risk.

[PeterPan]

Well she's saying she's comfortable with your WHOLE FAMILY getting sick whenever her family finally gets sick or the reverse. It's not like she's completely isolating her entire family. They're going out for groceries, gas, SOMETHING. 

[KungFuPanda]

Unless both families have been completely isolated for two weeks and nobody is going out for work or groceries, that’s a big NO. Her kids are getting squirrelly and she’s losing track of the big picture. 

[lewelma]

No. This is currently illegal here.

[katilac]

I don't think it would be complete insanity for two close and low-risk families to supervise some conversation and games with social distancing, but it seems like it would make the most sense to do that if you had an only child (or only one child in an age range). With 3 and 4 kids each, I'd probably say they can just play with siblings! 

But they could video chat, draw sidewalk pictures for each other (at different times), set up a little 'post office' to exchange notes and drawings, that kind of thing. I wouldn't just turn them all loose to play as normal. 

[EmseB]

Yep. In our quad of houses there are 15 kids of age to play outside. I am the only one keeping my four oldest from playing with the other 11 kids. I think the other parents think I'm being way too cautious because it's just our little quad. But those parents also have jobs that take them into major cities or even just around town locally. There's a lot of traveling. If even one of those parents gets sick, then that's everyone in our quad that's exposed. I think the other parents think it's futile to try to keep the kids apart and entertained, but I am the Meanest Mom and impervious to what people think of my crazy paranoia, so.

I should add that none of the neighbors are being mean or disrespectful about it. They do tell their kids to keep their distance from mine and have gone to Costco for me and such. But I do think they think I'm a little nuts. 😄

[prairiewindmomma]

I know people who are doing this, but I'm not comfortable with that for my own family.  The idea is that you are in a bubble together---with you only intermixing with each other, then you are safe. The reality is what is mentioned above though--people are still going out for groceries or the like and whatever they are exposed to you are sharing in.

What we are doing in our family is leaving driveway notes for each other, and FaceTiming. 

[Soror]

Nope, no playdates, my kids only contact is immediate family, other than talking to Granny who lives next door and they only talk to her at least 6 ft away outside.

[hjffkj]

Nope, we talk to neighbor friends from a distance while out on our walks. But no playing.

This is getting harder as within the last day to two other neighbors have started letting their kids play with the other kids. So, my kids are feeling even more isolated because they see their friends playing together. Thankfully, their best friends in the neighborhood are still practicing social distancing and that family will do so until told otherwise. So at least they aren't seeing those kids play with the rest of them.

[8filltheheart]

Not even with our grandkids. Ds is still going to work. Too much risk for us. 

[barnwife]

Well, we don't have any other young kids in our neighborhood. So, no playing with neighborhood kids. Even if there were, our children would not be playing with others. 

[sassenach]

Not allowed here. 

[hippiemamato3]

49 minutes ago, lewelma said:

No. This is currently illegal here.

Really? Where?

[lewelma]

1 minute ago, hippiemamato3 said:

Really? Where?

New Zealand.  Enforced by police. 

[hippiemamato3]

1 minute ago, lewelma said:

New Zealand.  Enforced by police. 

 

Wow!

 

[Tanaqui]

Is your neighbor suggesting that one of you does all the shopping for both families? Are all the adults staying at home?

[Shoeless]

Nooooope. No play dates. COVID-19 doesn't really care how many technical loopholes someone squints at so they can say "See! I'm complying with recommendations!"  

This isn't forever.  Don't cave to peer pressure. 

[maize]

We've struggled with this, my five year old has a best friend in our cul de sac--ordinarily the kids use the front yards and the cul de sac as shared play space.

I don't want them playing together, but if both are out riding their bikes or something it is really hard to keep them apart. Neighbors were spending a lot of time in their front yard and of course my dd sees them out the window and wants to go out; I was spending a lot of time reminding them to keep their distance--I really don't think there is much risk if they are all out riding bikes and scooters but it is hard for the littles to remember to not go near each other. I've been trying to encourage mine to play more in the back yard and I think neighbors may now be doing the same as I haven't seen them in front as much.

This is so hard for little kids who just cannot understand.

None of my other kids has friends in our neighborhood so not an issue.

Edited April 6, 2020 by maize

[lewelma]

10 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

See, that's so weird to me.

I ran to the ATM earlier.  ON the radio they specifically said that area police are NOT responding to minor incident calls.  I would assume that kids playing with their neighbors would be considered minor incidents

The police are enforcing the lockdown.  The rules are clear, and the compliance is high because we all want out of the lock down as soon as possible.  People can daub in those who are flouting the rules, and the police will swing by and educate/fine them.  There are only minor incidents now for the police to attend to because all people are at home. In addition, all activities that could require help or cause injury are banned like surfing, swimming, tramping, mountain biking, and driving. You are not even allowed to have a picnic in the park.  You can walk/bike for exercise as long as you stay local. You can go to the grocery store or pharmacy as long as it is your local one.  Besides that, you must stay home. The police are enforcing this.

I will add that our goal is different than America's. We are attempting eradication, not containment/mitigation. 

Edited April 6, 2020 by lewelma

[mommyoffive]

We have not allowed our kids to play with other kids in the neighborhood, I have seen other families that do however.   Luckily my kids have all listened and they have each other to play with.  

[lmrich]

Not together but I have seen some creativity our street. Kids have used chalk to make obstacle courses for the other kids to do on their bikes. Timing each other to run around the block. Love that they have figured out how to have fun while apart. Water blaster fights (these things blast far) AND I never saw these kids interact before this. 

[maize]

34 minutes ago, lewelma said:

The police are enforcing the lockdown.  The rules are clear, and the compliance is high because we all want out of the lock down as soon as possible.  People can daub in those who are flouting the rules, and the police will swing by and educate/fine them.  There are only minor incidents now for the police to attend to because all people are at home. In addition, all activities that could require help or cause injury are banned like surfing, swimming, tramping, mountain biking, and driving. You are not even allowed to have a picnic in the park.  You can walk/bike for exercise as long as you stay local. You can go to the grocery store or pharmacy as long as it is your local one.  Besides that, you must stay home. The police are enforcing this.

I will add that our goal is different than America's. We are attempting eradication, not containment/mitigation. 

A possibility on an island nation. I hope you succeed!

[Arcadia]

The only neighborhood kids outside are babies in strollers or baby carriers. My area has kept kids home since school closed. To my neighbors, if it’s not safe to go to school, it’s not safe to be out.  On weekends, we might see one or two young kids on bicycles sandwiched between parents in a single file on the bicycle trail nearby.

[lewelma]

39 minutes ago, maize said:

A possibility on an island nation. I hope you succeed!

Thanks!

[BarbecueMom]

We’ve lived here for ten years, and a family with five kids (four of them boys) moved in down the street 6-7 years ago.  For six long years, I have encouraged my kids to ride their bikes down there, say hello, ask to play catch or shoot hoops (all of the kids play sports, I know that much).  And for six years, they have said no, that they aren’t interested in neighborhood friends.

But in the past week, each of them separately (even the extreme introvert) has asked me, “Can we go play with the kids down the street?”

Now, child?  Now!?  You wait for six long years until my answer is “absolutely freaking not”, and then ask to go make new friends?!?
 

The answer is no, they cannot play with the neighborhood kids right now.  Although when the pandemic is over I might drop them off on their front porch, ring the bell, and run.

Edited April 7, 2020 by BarbecueMom

[mom2scouts]

My kids are older, but I've still been trying to keep them in the house or only in the fenced back yard as much as possible and the neighbors have been doing the same. We finally had our first nice day with sunshine and warm weather and everyone in the neighborhood was outside. Most stayed away, but we started talking to our next door neighbor and ended up putting chairs in our yards and talking to each other from a distance. We tried to keep the kids away from each other, but the younger one had a very hard time remembering to stay away from dd so I admit dd was probably too close and not following the social distancing rules. She hadn't left the house in 21 days and I don't think the neighbors have been out much either so I'm hoping it was a low risk encounter. It's so weird (and hard) to have to consciously try to stay away from people.

[ScoutTN]

Nope. 

We walk around our neighborhood almost every evening. My kids wave at friends from across the street, but no playing together. 

 

[aggie96]

Son's posse of friends stop by every other day asking for him to play. We are the only house on the block (20 houses) that are distancing. Boys are playing outside together with baseball, basketball, bikes, scooters, nerf. My neighbors behind me a currently in their hot tub with other adult neighbors having a get together. Our block used to hang out 1-2 nights a week with almost all the kids in my house to play. That was over a year ago. Kids have grown up. Not really playing with " toys" anymore. Our block has not had even one get together in at least a year. In the last three weeks, they've had 5 major, full-blown get togethers complete with potluck. One neighbor stopped my husband this weekend to commiserate on her friend DYING form this virus (40's, no underlying condition, lives 20 miles away in neighboring burb). Same neighbor has had a guest at her home every single day since this started complete with hosting art parties for teenage kids and their friends. I can't even believe this behavior.

IMO--You most definitely are not "distancing" during playdates of ANY kind--outside or inside if you are on the same property. Why risk it? You're exposure goes up exponentially if anyone in either household has to leave the house for any reason. Heck, our post office has been compromised. Now I have to touch the community mail box with these neighbors, I'm not even an alarmist, but is it really that hard to understand?

My 10yo son is devastated every single time the door bell rings, and I'm the mean mom not willing to just take a chance. He'll get over it. I'll get over it. But there is no way I'm risking exposure any more than I have to. I'm ready to get back to work, and this crap to end. I want my parents and in-laws to survive this. I want to survive this. I want my kids to survive this. Risks are different for each. But none are safe. It's like playing russian roulette. Everytime.

Edited April 7, 2020 by aggie96
ETA: Excuse typo. Cat in lap and me on phone. Ugh.

[Guest]

No, but it was suggested earlier on in my ds’s group of friends. But I am not confident my son would observe proper social distancing (esp at that time because he was still not taking it seriously and was basically just mad at me); a couple other moms also said they weren’t confident their boys would observe distancing appropriately. So the idea was scrapped. They have done a Google Hangout, though. 

[aggie96]

And my teens have discovered Netflix Party. The kids can all watch same movie and have control of pause etc from own computers. There is a chat that goes along it the entire movie so they can chat during show, etc. It's been very cool. Great idea for sure.

[madteaparty]

My one younger child hangs out with one family. We also take turns grocery shopping and regularly visit (outside only). It’s a closed circle as everyone goes to the same places (namely, the same stores and each other’s property.). We have some land and all 4 kids were in a creek all afternoon long today. 
 

[Farrar]

Heck no.

If we lived out in the boondocks and had a neighbor family that was very trusted and close and my kids were younger and we agreed to share grocery responsibilities/risks, then I'd consider it. Not under other circumstances though.

[Meriwether]

The neighbor kid asked if we had been quarantined for two weeks. He wanted to hang out with Ds15. We weren't fully quarantined- Dh had been to the office 8 days prior and I had been to the grocery store 7 days prior. If both families had been fully quarantined, we would have let them get together. 

[Pen]

No.  

No play dates.  

 

[kiwik]

8 hours ago, lewelma said:

No. This is currently illegal here.

Though one of my sister's got health department permission to form a bubble with the neighbours

[kiwik]

7 hours ago, hippiemamato3 said:

 

Wow!

 

We don't do things by halves.  Lockdown means don't use the car except for groceries and medines, no food places including takeaways.  You can exercise in your local area providing you keep 2 m distance and don't swim, surf, fish, tramp, hunt or anything else requiring rescue or medical aid.  The minister of health was demoted today for driving 20 km with his family for a walk and 2 guys were arrested for fishing (arrest is the end of a 4 step process though and they would have been able to apologise and home at several points).  The new infectilons are dropping though.  And yes some complain but most of us will do what is needed.

[kiwik]

6 hours ago, aggie96 said:

Son's posse of friends stop by every other day asking for him to play. We are the only house on the block (20 houses) that are distancing. Boys are playing outside together with baseball, basketball, bikes, scooters, nerf. My neighbors behind me a currently in their hot tub with other adult neighbors having a get together. Our block used to hang out 1-2 nights a week with almost all the kids in my house to play. That was over a year ago. Kids have grown up. Not really playing with " toys" anymore. Our block has not had even one get together in at least a year. In the last three weeks, they've had 5 major, full-blown get togethers complete with potluck. One neighbor stopped my husband this weekend to commiserate on her friend DYING form this virus (40's, no underlying condition, lives 20 miles away in neighboring burb). Same neighbor has had a guest at her home every single day since this started complete with hosting art parties for teenage kids and their friends. I can't even believe this behavior.

IMO--You most definitely are not "distancing" during playdates of ANY kind--outside or inside if you are on the same property. Why risk it? You're exposure goes up exponentially if anyone in either household has to leave the house for any reason. Heck, our post office has been compromised. Now I have to touch the community mail box with these neighbors, I'm not even an alarmist, but is it really that hard to understand?

My 10yo son is devastated every single time the door bell rings, and I'm the mean mom not willing to just take a chance. He'll get over it. I'll get over it. But there is no way I'm risking exposure any more than I have to. I'm ready to get back to work, and this crap to end. I want my parents and in-laws to survive this. I want to survive this. I want my kids to survive this. Risks are different for each. But none are safe. It's like playing russian roulette. Everytime.

See while the police may not come for some kids playing (they would if they have time though) they have been breaking up parties where everyone sits at the ends of their own drives and drinks, stopping people swimming and surfing.  The Prime Minister said the Easter Bumny will make it to most places (some kid asked) but not to be sad if they weren't on time.  In the meantime she published a colouring in egg and invited kids to put the on their letter boxes or send them to her.  So the kids know they are not forgotten by the person at the top and that they have their part to play.

[Laura Corin]

It's not allowed here.

[gstharr]

No. But, the 9th grader has never played with a neighbor kid. Our neighborhood is now mostly Asian immigrants.  They don't seem to ever play  outside, and when they do, they don't even play with each other.  Also, my kid has never attended the local public schools, so he doesn't know them from there.  I always thought this type of neighboring was strange.  Today, very convenient.

[Miss Tick]

My kids' afternoons have become so full again as all their activities, including playdates, move online. I'm feeling a bit wistful for those first few weeks of lockdown. No-one I know it's as shut off as I am (although I'm not quizzing anyone), and I still have to grocery shop on occasion, bring in the mail, and go out and exercise. Perhaps see if the other child can meet on Skype or Zoom. Find a craft to do together, listen to a book read on YouTube, a novel activity that keeps them apart but connected.

[TheReader]

Only in the last day or two have I stopped seeing all the neighborhood kids outside playing with each other. There is still one pair of families that seems to be getting together, but the kids on my end of the street have stopped being out together so far. 

Here it seemed to coincide with the local police saying they WOULD be enforcing the guidelines.

[teachermom2834]

When this first started I caved and allowed my very intelligent and cautious 17 yo to have one friend over under the instruction that they were to sit on furniture we have that is more than six feet apart, keep distance, etc. Well I watched them incapable of actually doing that so it has been an absolute no go since then. Actually, I don't even need to try to convince my ds that he can't properly socially distance because he had a shot at it and failed miserably. So he hasn't even asked again. If this kid can't do it, then really most kids are not going to be able to at all even riding bikes, etc. 

It was harder to get with the program at first but now that people have had some time to get used to it and now that they keep talking about how very contagious it is and how it isn't just old folks getting really sick, people seem to be doing better. 

If I lived near my sister we would probably work together and keep our bubble tight and allow the kids to play. I can see the same thing with really close neighbors. But, really, it is going to be a rare situation that works that way. We are really doing a good job staying at home but dh did have to go for an MRI the other day and he has gone to the grocery store and pharmacy. I know other people are exposing themselves even more than that.

[J-rap]

12 hours ago, aggie96 said:

And my teens have discovered Netflix Party. The kids can all watch same movie and have control of pause etc from own computers. There is a chat that goes along it the entire movie so they can chat during show, etc. It's been very cool. Great idea for sure.

Wow!  I hadn't heard of that!

 

[ScoutTN]

There is a pack of neighborhood kids that I prefer Ds not play with at all. They have come by several times asking to play and now I have even more reason to say no. 

[J-rap]

States have their own ways of guiding/enforcing social distancing, but the whole point is to minimize spread.  So, kids from one family playing with kids from just one other family doesn't seem like a big deal, for sure.  Except that that immediately increases potential points of contact.  I'm assuming that at least one parent from the two households still goes into work, and probably one parent from both households goes to the grocery store occasionally, or gets gas, etc.   Mix the two families together, and those potential contact points can increase substantially, because of course anyone who works at the grocery store, for example, becomes a contact point as well and they're around other customers and all of those people have families, and on and on and on.  So even though it's still just kids from two families playing together, and even though it's a lot better than being in a classroom all day with kids from multiple families, those contact points are still happening.

The way I look at it is like this:  We can't possibly eliminate all of those points of contact ~ it's about minimizing them as best as we can.  Many people don't have the choice to shelter in place:  essential workers, their children who go to daycare, those who don't have covid19 but have serious health conditions that require them to keep going to clinics and hospitals.  So, I figure those of us who actually can minimize exposure, should.

At the same time, I get it.  We no longer have young children living at home, but I'm sure that when they were young kids and if they saw their neighborhood buddies playing outside, they'd want to join them.

[Condessa]

No, we are not playing with anyone.  However, I could imagine a situation where I would be okay with it.  We have a large, unfenced yard that runs right into the neighbor's large unfenced yard.  If, say, our old best friends from our old town lived next door, it would be nearly impossible for the littler ones to pay attention to the imaginary line between the yards.  If they were also working from home, it would be only the germs from masked, distanced grocery trips coming in to the two families.  

[Tap]

It is oddly (and blissfully) quiet!  We have about 20 kids in our neighborhood, and they tend to congregate right in front of my house for the majority of their down time. It was fabulous when my older kids were little. I could glance outside my big front window and check on them. DD13 is autistic and is not often welcome in the group. She looks outside and sees kids that she wants to play with, that exclude her. It is very hard on her.  She cries often about the kids, and since they are right in front of the house, even if she changes rooms, she can still hear them laughing and playing.

With the SIP, there are very, very few kids wandering the neighborhood. If I hear a basketball, it is a single kid and only for 10 minutes or so. I saw some little kids out playing down the street, but I think they were visiting grandparents.  Every so often you see kids playing in their front yards, but even then it is generally siblings (and happily down the road from our house).

[ktgrok]

 

On 4/6/2020 at 10:24 PM, Meriwether said:

The neighbor kid asked if we had been quarantined for two weeks. He wanted to hang out with Ds15. We weren't fully quarantined- Dh had been to the office 8 days prior and I had been to the grocery store 7 days prior. If both families had been fully quarantined, we would have let them get together. 

But my thought is that you wait to see if you have symptoms within 14 days. But...you could be asymptomatic, and still carrying it. So? It's all crazy, we know so little. 

21 hours ago, kiwik said:

We don't do things by halves.  Lockdown means don't use the car except for groceries and medines, no food places including takeaways.  You can exercise in your local area providing you keep 2 m distance and don't swim, surf, fish, tramp, hunt or anything else requiring rescue or medical aid.  The minister of health was demoted today for driving 20 km with his family for a walk and 2 guys were arrested for fishing (arrest is the end of a 4 step process though and they would have been able to apologise and home at several points).  The new infectilons are dropping though.  And yes some complain but most of us will do what is needed.

Ok, so I pretty much get it, except how is fishing likely to require medical aid more than say, riding a bike? And fishing can bring in free food, which people out of work may need.