Claim of being an "Empath"

[BakersDozen]

I met my first "empath" recently. This is an individual who, if she is in a grocery store and has sudden onset of a headache, says there is someone in the store struggling with faith/Christian issues. She "feels" people's emotional/mental pain in a physical way. I had absolutely nothing to say as I've never heard of anything like this, so just listened to her description of this "gift". What does the Hive think of this ability/claim? I've only done a little bit of on-line research which of course nets information/claims on both sides. I'm intrigued to know if any of you have met someone like this or possibly experience what this gal says she does.

[Rosie_0801]

Feeling people's emotions and mental pain in a physical way is not terribly unusual. Knowing it is because someone out there is struggling with their faith sounds like quackery. Most empaths would rather be hiding in their houses away from it all than bleating on about it to show how wonderful they are.

[Slache]

Yeah, no. I'm an empath though I've never said it out loud or on the internet because it's associated with this type of thing. Empathy (in this sense) is not a gift. Every empath I've met whether they call themselves that or not is a victim of childhood trauma.

When someone tells you their mom died you feel sad for them. When someone tells me their mom died I feel like my mom died. It's devastating. I cry. It's also exhausting because I feel so much that is not my responsibility and I don't get to heal from it. A more common word for this is codependency. These people need therapy. We do not have magic powers.

[Slache]

Agree 100% with Arctic and Rosie, we just posted at the same time.

[Rosie_0801]

Most of the most empathic empaths I know have autoimmune diseases too. It might come in handy sometimes, but there's nothing cute about it and the journey we had to take to develop it, was, as Slache said, not fun.

[Liz CA]

Hmmmmmm. 

[Stacia]

32 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Feeling people's emotions and mental pain in a physical way is not terribly unusual. Knowing it is because someone out there is struggling with their faith sounds like quackery. Most empaths would rather be hiding in their houses away from it all than bleating on about it to show how wonderful they are.

This.

[SKL]

I know a person who talks about this a lot (she believes she is an empath).

I think I have some of it, but not to that extent.  I have had situations when I suddenly felt something was terribly wrong, but did not know why.  Then later I'd hear a loved one had a serious crisis just at that time.  Also, I get very affected by other people's stress levels.  Sometimes more affected than they are.

For people who have this situation (and I don't think it's that unusual), it can be viewed as more of a burden than a gift.  There is no escape.  At least in one's own life, one can make different decisions or set different priorities/values.  There's not much chance of managing another person's stress.

[sassenach]

I think if it as a mental illness, honestly. 

[Terabith]

My daughter, who has autism, feels what other people are feeling.  When I had surgery, she spent as much time as possible out of the house, because she said the waves of my physical pain hurt her.  She avoids my older one when her anxiety is up.  She talks about how annoyed she is with the strong feelings other people at school have.  She works actively to not feel what other people are feeling.  She's done stuff like this since she was teeny tiny.  

I don't have it to nearly the degree that she does, but I also pick up on other people's feelings, in a way that I feel bodily.  My husband says he puts up deliberate walls not to feel other people's feelings.  So I don't think this is really unusual.  I don't think everyone can do it, but I think a pretty significant subset of the population at least has the ability.

Now, attributing it to someone's faith or lack thereof?  I don't buy that and it sounds like they're either delusional or looking for drama.

[J-rap]

I'm generally a skeptic about those things.  That said, I do believe some people are not only extraordinarily sensitive, but parts of their brains are highly perceptive and pull in information about other people subconsciously that helps them have a "feeling" about those people.  I'd say I'm like that to some extent, but it never involves details.  I can often pick up on whether a person is at a good place in their mind, or if they're holding on to bitterness, or has self-esteem issues, or something to prove, etc, in a very short visit.  (But it's not anything extraordinary, and I wouldn't call myself an empath.  I think a lot of people are like that.)   I think the idea that Rosie suggested that empaths often struggle with autoimmune diseases is fascinating.  I think one of my dd's is highly sensitive and definitely feels (emotionally) for everyone in her life, and picks up on a lot of things.  She also has an autoimmune condition.  That's super interesting and I'm going to be pondering that.  

I think the gift of prophecy that Christians refer to has to do with people who I suppose would be labeled empaths, but it includes a wisdom as well.  (My understanding is that most of the time, prophecy is not really predicting the future;  it's calling up deep feelings/emotions in a person's being.)   I've met one person in my life who I'd say has the gift of prophecy, and who can actually pick up on details when he is with the person.   BUT, he is also very humble and would never bring these things up unless specifically asked.  

I say nothing is impossible, although I'm discerning and my first reaction to the person described in the OP is to not believe it!

 

[Carrie12345]

I’ve never heard of empaths being psychic.

Edited March 29, 2020 by Carrie12345

[mathnerd]

I know of a woman who is an empath. She can tune into and feel people's emotions easily and asks them if they are OK if she thinks that they are stressed etc. For example, I stopped at her house to drop off something and my son was waiting in the car and she told me that she sensed that my son was very hungry, without talking to him at all, and that I should drive him to get a sandwich before heading home - he said that she was absolutely right and that he was so hungry that his tummy was hurting. She has an autoimmune condition and is very talented and a highly gifted violinist. She also has an unusual ability to pick up weather events that are going to happen ahead of time: she can predict that there will be rain in the next few hours (without watching the forecast) and she has predicted 3 minor earthquakes for my area (bay area, CA). It is as if she has that animal instinct that many animals use to rush away from bad natural events before they transpire. For my friend, all these events are preceded by a bad migraine headache which is the indicator of things to come. She does not feel that it is a gift and it is a burden to her, especially the migraines that precede every time she senses something in nature that other people can not perceive.

[Farrar]

2 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I’ve never heard of empaths being psychic.

Right. Empaths feel pain they know through normal means is happening to someone - because the person is expressing it in some way and it deeply affects them - sometimes even physically. That she could walk into the store and "sense" that this was happening? That's the part of the thing that makes me roll my eyes. Empaths aren't magical or Counselor Troi.

[Lady Florida.]

That sounds like quackery. Perhaps she's sincere and really believes what she says but that just makes her a sincere quack. 

People who truly have a sensitivity to the emotions of others can't stand in the middle of the store and say some random person is experiencing such and such. If they do, they're no different than quack psychics who make broad statements knowing there's a high likelihood someone in the audience is experiencing what they mentioned. People who are really empaths don't make those kinds of statements.

 

[BakersDozen]

Thanks, ladies! I am still trying to wrap my brain around what this gal said so it's interesting to read different views.

[kiwik]

I do believe some people have a sixth sense and that it is basically the ability to discern and interpret things the rest of us miss (they are there we just aren't ware enough).  I don't believe she has some special gift the allows her to psychically pick up on faith problems.  I met one person who claimed to have the gift of prophecy.  If he had discreetly talked to people about things I might have given him the benefit of the doubt but saying things in public to me is just an attention grabbing stunt.

[Ausmumof3]

9 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Most of the most empathic empaths I know have autoimmune diseases too. It might come in handy sometimes, but there's nothing cute about it and the journey we had to take to develop it, was, as Slache said, not fun.

I know there was a research study showing the parents who are overly empathetic towards their kids are more likely to develop health issues 

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/empathising-with-children-can-cause-health-problems-for-parents-a6900151.html

[Ausmumof3]

If she was a true empath she should have been picking up your skeptical vibes 🙂 

 

[Ausmumof3]

I do know some people who go into a bigger hole than others over other people’s emotional crises.  And some who really don’t feel it at all.  I don’t do well if someone in my own house is having a mood till I’ve tried to fix the mood but I’m less perceptive with strangers. 

[HS Mom in NC]

I've read the New Testament many times.  I can't think of any reference to this gift in scripture. I'm referring to the OP.  I do recognize that many people, for whatever reason, are highly sensitive to other people's moods, but that's not the OP is talking about.

[gardenmom5]

16 hours ago, BakersDozen said:

I met my first "empath" recently. This is an individual who, if she is in a grocery store and has sudden onset of a headache, says there is someone in the store struggling with faith/Christian issues. She "feels" people's emotional/mental pain in a physical way. I had absolutely nothing to say as I've never heard of anything like this, so just listened to her description of this "gift". What does the Hive think of this ability/claim? I've only done a little bit of on-line research which of course nets information/claims on both sides. I'm intrigued to know if any of you have met someone like this or possibly experience what this gal says she does.

really?   and what does she do about it?  or just tells you that she knows this because she is so much more sensitive than anyone else?  does she do anything to actually help people WITHOUT making it all about what a wonderful "Christian" she is to deign to help them?  or just using it to let people know how utterly sensitive she is, more sensitive than everyone else - but it's this person's struggle and there's nothing she can do about it?

the only person I knew like  your description - was incredibly dysfunctional and did this type of stuff for attention.  (she loved to wallow.)

Edited March 30, 2020 by gardenmom5

[klmama]

I know someone who makes similar claims.  She has mental health issues.

[Laura Corin]

I often feel other people's physical pain physically.  But it's only when they tell me about it or I see it in front of me.  I think of it as some kind of brain misfire, not a gift.  I'm not an exceptionally emotionally attuned or sympathetic person.

[J-rap]

10 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

 

And my (Bible) studies of prophecy define prophecy as a telling forth of the truth. It would honestly probably be the opposite of speaking from a place of feeling/emotion. Think of Jonah and Isaiah who were tasked with delivering messages they didn’t want to, and certainly didn’t have warm fuzzy feelings about. (Not arguing with you, just pondering.)

That's interesting.  Thanks for the input.  I completely agree that prophecy is based on truth...  I'm not sure how emotion/feeling plays into that, because I definitely agree that sometimes emotions actually blind us from the truth.  I believe the prophet I saw and experienced (not for me, but someone close to me) acknowledged the emotions (because those are so important to a person, and God knows that) but then continued past those to truth.  So maybe emotions aren't necessarily opposite, but can either help or distract you from the truth?  I do know that emotions can get one into a lot of trouble, for sure!

[BakersDozen]

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eally?   and what does she do about it?  or just tells you that she knows this because she is so much more sensitive than anyone else?  does she do anything to actually help people WITHOUT making it all about what a wonderful "Christian" she is to deign to help them?  or just using it to let people know how utterly sensitive she is, more sensitive than everyone else - but it's this person's struggle and there's nothing she can do about it?

the only person I knew like  your description - was incredibly dysfunctional and did this type of stuff for attention.  (she loved to wallow.)

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Sounds like a self absorbed quack who feels the need to draw attention to herself and how special she is and uses spirituality as her preferred vehicle for extolling nonsense nobody cares about.

Lol, had I read these two comments on any other post I would have immediately thought of this particular gal whom I posted about. In other words, your descriptions fit her perfectly - loves attention, dominates any and all conversation/social groups, etc. I have rescued a few unsuspecting moms in the past from her dominating presence at social events much to their relief (and her annoyance that some of her audience dared to leave her presence). Oh my...sorry, I'm just giggling here at how accurate these descriptions are of this individual. I've known (er...avoided) this gal as much as possible but am kind of glad our paths crossed so she could share her gift/ability with me and I could better understand it...with the help of the Hive.