DD July Wedding and Covid 19 WWYD

[Starr]

Those of you up on stats, what are the chances of a large July wedding happening in Upstate NY? If not then, when? Thanks!

[AFwife Claire]

Ugh, I don't know, but we are in a similar boat.  Our oldest ds is planning on getting married May 23 in Richmond, VA.  I don't even know what to think.  They will definitely be getting married--they aren't sleeping/living together, plus ds is commissioning and has to be at his first duty station the beginning of August, so she needs to get in the system. But I have no idea how all this will change things.  I'm so sad for them!

[Pen]

Trying to be up on stats, but can only say strongly doubt July will be feasible, no idea when will be.

Some people I know are going with small (10-25 or so people max, including officiant and bride and groom)  marriage now, with idea of having a larger reception at unknown future date. 

[PeterPan]

My ornery side says elope now and have the big party in July if things go well. Surely it's going to turn around by then. 

[PrincessMommy]

We're also in a similar boat.  DD is getting married July 19th.  I'm really hoping things calm down in the next month.    Our parish has 5 weddings between May and Aug. 

[PrincessMommy]

2 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

My ornery side says elope now and have the big party in July if things go well. Surely it's going to turn around by then. 

But, can they even elope right now?

[PeterPan]

8 minutes ago, PrincessMommy said:

But, can they even elope right now?

In our state, yes. Gotta be procreating to keep up the population in case the rest of us die.

[Carol in Cal.]

I am sorry, but I really doubt that any gatherings are going to be possible/safe in May.  July seems a bit doubtful.  I suggest a return to an old custom--a quiet, private wedding now, and a reception (wedding celebration) later.  They could do a renewal of vows at that point.  

Edited March 16, 2020 by Carol in Cal.

[Starr]

I appreciate all your comments. I don't even know if I should like them or find the crying face. While all these kids getting married will survive the changes I feel so bad for them. None of the decisions are easy. Up and getting married next week is a shock to the system and not knowing what the future brings is a shock. It was a bit of being overtired but she said she wants to get married while everyone is still alive. Who would have imagined even having those thoughts last year?

[PeterPan]

15 minutes ago, Starr said:

Up and getting married next week is a shock to the system and not knowing what the future brings is a shock. It was a bit of being overtired but she said she wants to get married while everyone is still alive.

I think if there are people she really wants to be able to participate/see the wedding who are higher risk and more vulnerable, the prudent thing would be to have the wedding now with the core people (moms, dads, officiant, best man and maid of honor, siblings), but stream it live on FB or youtube so the rest of the family can see. 

I think it's good to speak calm in a stressful time. Like if it were my dd, I would say that it would be ok to plan on the July wedding but not to be putting down huge deposits or going crazy big, as things could change. But if the concern is vulnerable relatives, no one can guarantee that. 

Fwiw, I'm finding my college age dd is a lot more worried about this than I am. This might be a time to speak peace to her. For a lot of people, this is going to be a very mild thing. I've counseled my dd to stop googling it and stop listening to the news, because it's just ramping up panic. 

A wedding brings such joy, if she thinks it would bring JOY to do it now and be a welcome reprieve, do it!! And if she's like no, there were reasons to wait till July, then wait till July.