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Ottakee

It has been 2 years today since the arrest of my then husband

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I'm glad to hear you are healing. I hope your path gets easier as you go, and that you build a wonderful new life for yourself. 

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A lot has changed for you in two years.  Thanks for being so open with sharing your blog and experience.  
 

Whatever happened to the refrigerator you were waiting for?

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Just now, school17777 said:

A lot has changed for you in two years.  Thanks for being so open with sharing your blog and experience.  
 

Whatever happened to the refrigerator you were waiting for?

I finally got it.  After 2 tries and one I refused.  The second one came with a dent too but I got $300 off and it is small.  My son loves the style....French door with bottom freezer. I was honestly just as happy with my plain Jane old school model.

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I'm so impressed with the way you have handled things, I can't imagine how hard it has been. 

In fact, i was thinking of you just recently - I was reading a series of (fictional) books about a woman who comes home to find the police there - her husband turned out to be a serial killer and she'd had no idea. But despite her lack of knowledge a continuing theme of the book is that she and even her children are attacked on social media, and she faced vandalism, threats, etc as people didn't want to believe she hadn't known, and they wanted an outlet for their hatred. I thought of you and realized there was probably more that you faced than I had realized - that you would have dealt with the suspicious of others in your area, etc. 

I'm so sorry, and again, just in awe of your continued strength and faith. 

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You are a courageous woman.  That took guts and proper orientation and the willingness to bear the cost of doing the right thing.  :::ADMIRATION:::

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I think of you often.  I haven’t had time to look at the links yet.....but will.  
 

It sure puts things in perspective.  I remember when I first discovered my now Xh was basically living a double life.  I tore our house apart looking for evidence. I found a stack of unmarked dvds. I had two horrifying thoughts.  Had he recorded me? And was any of this child porn.  So I frantically played each of them....fast forwarding a lot and nearly vomiting, but in the end I was relieved there was no child porn or recordings of me.  
 

I am just thankful you and your children have been able to forge a new life together.  ((((Hugs))))

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I admire your resilience and I’m glad you are putting yourself out there for people who may find themselves in similar situations. It would be easy to hide and let people forget what you and your family have been through. 
 

A few years ago I read Sue Klebold’s book, she is the mother of one of the Columbine shooters. It was really eye opening. She lost her son but was also horrified by his actions. Few people offered her support and now she supports other parents who find themselves in similar situations. I haven’t watched it but she has a TED Talk in addition to her book. 

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I'm so sorry you and your children have had to go through this, but you are truly an inspiration!  God bless you as you keep moving forward on this journey.

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I admire your strength, courage, and openness, and I'm so glad that you are healing.  

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19 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

I'm so impressed with the way you have handled things, I can't imagine how hard it has been. 

In fact, i was thinking of you just recently - I was reading a series of (fictional) books about a woman who comes home to find the police there - her husband turned out to be a serial killer and she'd had no idea. But despite her lack of knowledge a continuing theme of the book is that she and even her children are attacked on social media, and she faced vandalism, threats, etc as people didn't want to believe she hadn't known, and they wanted an outlet for their hatred. I thought of you and realized there was probably more that you faced than I had realized - that you would have dealt with the suspicious of others in your area, etc. 

I'm so sorry, and again, just in awe of your continued strength and faith. 

Thank you for the kind words.  I am not that awesome.  Just struggling along.  My kids were left alone but I had my "turn" being attacked on social media within the first few months.    Most people though have been very supportive.

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16 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I didn’t realise it had been so long.  Well done for surviving!

It seems like forever ago,.....and yet only a short time ago, all at the same time.

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Hugs!  Thank you for sharing your path on your blog and glad your family is healing.  I'm sure your words have touched many lives and helped them heal as well. 

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14 hours ago, Patty Joanna said:

You are a courageous woman.  That took guts and proper orientation and the willingness to bear the cost of doing the right thing.  :::ADMIRATION:::

It was the right thing to do.  This is not an easy journey but there have been rewards as well.

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If you want to know more about the journey, feel free to look through the blog.....the good, the bad, the ugly.  I just hope that it gives hope to others that are a similar journey.

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I love your blog, Ottakee.

It is full of wisdom, humor and hope in the midst of the unimaginable (for most of us). 

I have explained grief to many clients but with your permission I would like to use some of the things you said.

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I also love your blog.  I think your story is so powerful.  I am very glad that you have found happiness in your life but am also sad about how you have lost so much and been betrayed.  Hugs.

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2 hours ago, Liz CA said:

I love your blog, Ottakee.

It is full of wisdom, humor and hope in the midst of the unimaginable (for most of us). 

I have explained grief to many clients but with your permission I would like to use some of the things you said.

Absolutely.  It is a public blog.  Feel free to share the direct link to anyone in that might find it useful.....even if their situation isn't quite the same.

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1 hour ago, TravelingChris said:

I also love your blog.  I think your story is so powerful.  I am very glad that you have found happiness in your life but am also sad about how you have lost so much and been betrayed.  Hugs.

Thanks for your kind words.  Sin causes so much pain and the ripples continue.  

Just today I was at the wedding of a friend whose first husband is in prison for the same thing.  She had found hope and healing and now has found a great guy.

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I don't know that I've ever chimed in when you've posted, but I have been so impressed with how candid you've been. Not that everyone has to share their story so openly, but I think a lot of people would have retreated to an extent that could have been unhealthy. But not only did you not do that, you seem like you've openly tried to share your healing process, which really is a courageous thing to do, even if you don't feel like it is.

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3 minutes ago, Farrar said:

I don't know that I've ever chimed in when you've posted, but I have been so impressed with how candid you've been. Not that everyone has to share their story so openly, but I think a lot of people would have retreated to an extent that could have been unhealthy. But not only did you not do that, you seem like you've openly tried to share your healing process, which really is a courageous thing to do, even if you don't feel like it is.

I have tried to balance the being candid with the protection of my kids (as the blog is public) and the victims, etc .  It can be a hard balance.

I will admit that I do dodge certain aisles in the grocery store if there is someone shopping there that I just don't feel like chatting with.  Occasionally I will avoid some functions as they just might be too uncomfortable.

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I wasn't aware of what was going on. I've only had a chance to quickly glance at your blog. I plan on reading your posts as soon as I can. Thank you for being so open and honest. Sending you and your family hugs, prayers, and love. 

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5 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

Hugs

You are one of the strongest persons I know

I think of you often

Make sure to read the post on how not strong I am on the blog.  It is one step at a time....but thanks for the encouragement.

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You are so brave. I admire you. Your blog is a wonderful gift to anyone in a similar circumstance. 

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