I don't believe in astrology, but man...

[ktgrok]

I have now had THREE separate people contact me about resources/strategies/help leaving an abusive spouse in less than a week!

What on earth? Is there some weird planetary alignment I don't know about right now?

And they live in three different areas, two states, and so none of the resources I found for one would work for another really, other than general safety measures. 

And without going into details, Im feeling really worn down just from realizing how much that mentality that you develop, as well as systemic roadblocks, make it really really hard for any of them to actually move forward. 

Some have no money and few options, others have some but have been conditioned to not think they can act on them, etc. And I'm not saying that to shame them or whatever. I get it. But at the same time, it's so frustrating to see people still in harms way, and exposing their children to an environment that may shape them to end up in a similar situation themselves one day. All three come from abusive backgrounds, and I just see the cycle repeating and feel so helpless to actually help any of them.  It's especially hard because one of them is my closest friend, who helped me  get through my divorce from a mentally unwell, emotionally abusive person. I want to be there for her, but I can only do what she will allow me to do, as she processes all this. 

I'm so heartworn. DH and I are hugging each other a lot as we deal with this (all our mutual friends of both of us to one extent or another). 

And I'm looking into resources to teach my own children more about healthy relationships, etc. 

If you have a healthy marriage, be grateful. There are more bad ones out there than I really realized. 

Edited February 28, 2020 by Ktgrok

[Katy]

Take it as a sign you are universally seen as a healthy, safe, and non-judgmental friend.

And I'm sorry you're going through this all at once.

[cintinative]

30 minutes ago, Katy said:

Take it as a sign you are universally seen as a healthy, safe, and non-judgmental friend.

And I'm sorry you're going through this all at once.

 

This ^^  And I do believe that sometimes God has a plan for us to use our suffering/heartbreaks to speak to the pain in other's lives.  He knows they need the hope and peace of Christ and they need someone to be their strong advocate in the hard work of finding their voice again.