Ottakee Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 Has anyone taken in a teen/young adult in need? This is not the same one that needs rehab, but another situation that found me today (ok, I have been involved for over a year now). Young adult has special needs (intellectual disability) but is their own guardian, parents agree with move....they agreed before I even heard about this idea ??? What safeguards would I need to put in place? Right now this person attends school full time and has limited financial resources but has applied for SSI (disability). Trying to think through the pros and cons of this. The school staff had already approached me to consider this as well. What happens if it doesn't work out? I don't want to get into a legal situation where person moves in and if it doesn't work out, I am stuck legally. This is the first I have heard of her formally wanting to move in and I was just asked if when the mom comes in a few minutes if we can discuss this😟 I don't even know if they have insurance (like Medicaid or through a parent) . Open to any and all ideas. Quote
Pen Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 Talk with social worker? Talk with lawyer? certainly find out about medical coverage — copy of card and call to check maybe have just a short preliminary visit of a few days initially? Do You have the space physically, emotionally, mentally? How much care does person need? How long? Why isn’t the parent home working? What does it take to be set up as an adult foster home? Would that give safeguards or be worse hassles? 1 Quote
PeterPan Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 Yeah, I'd be talking with a lawyer or social worker. Does this dc have a social worker through the county? Fwiw, I think you should also give yourself permission to say NO. You can't really say yes till you've said it's an option to say no. It seems like they're kind of pressuring you. You've raised a lot of kids and already have a lot of responsibility. You're older than I am, right? It's ok to say no if no is the right answer for you. This dc may need other options that only pop up with a no. But if yes is the right answer, that's fine too. Whatever, it's amazing that you're willing to do this. What happens long term? Where is this going? You want them around or moved out in two years? 4 1 Quote
EKS Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 I would want to know what the legal status of the relationship would be. Would you be a guardian, landlord, or what? I would think that how the relationship is classified legally would determine how severing that relationship would proceed. 5 1 Quote
PeterPan Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 3 minutes ago, EKS said: I would think that how the relationship is classified legally would determine how severing that relationship would proceed. And better yet, what *other* options, besides the one the dc and parents are suggesting, could work and be protective of you? The landlord thing is kind of interesting. 2 Quote
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 If the person is legally their own guardian, I would want a landlord-tenant relationship. And a lease to match. I would research your state’s landlord-tenant laws because some states make it very hard to evict someone. If it’s allowed, I would want a month to month lease so that you have an out if it’s not working out for you. 10 Quote
Ottakee Posted February 23, 2020 Author Posted February 23, 2020 58 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said: If the person is legally their own guardian, I would want a landlord-tenant relationship. And a lease to match. I would research your state’s landlord-tenant laws because some states make it very hard to evict someone. If it’s allowed, I would want a month to month lease so that you have an out if it’s not working out for you. I am certainly thinking month to month....person could leave any time and I would pro rate rental share.....or I could request to move and give 30 days notice...and prorate from there. I don't want to be locked into long term if there are issues 3 Quote
beaners Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 (edited) If they get SSI they will get medicaid attached to it. You would need to have a rental agreement for SSI anyway. Their check would go up by that amount and they would pay you it every month. In our state it is just over $250. The biggest factors for me would be why you are the option for the young adult if family members are still in the picture. Edited February 23, 2020 by beaners 4 Quote
Ottakee Posted February 23, 2020 Author Posted February 23, 2020 45 minutes ago, beaners said: If they get SSI they will get medicaid attached to it. You would need to have a rental agreement for SSI anyway. Their check would go up by that amount and they would pay you it every month. In our state it is just over $250. The biggest factors for me would be why you are the option for the young adult if family members are still in the picture. I am familiar with SSI and the housing share, etc. Part of it is because I am along public transportation (currently where they live there is no public transportation) and the other part is my child (friend of this person) has a 2 bedroom "apartment" in my basement so they would be sorta independent but not totally....like a step in that direction. 4 Quote
kbutton Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 2 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said: If the person is legally their own guardian, I would want a landlord-tenant relationship. And a lease to match. I would research your state’s landlord-tenant laws because some states make it very hard to evict someone. If it’s allowed, I would want a month to month lease so that you have an out if it’s not working out for you. Yes. A friend took in someone with SN (has a SN daughter of her own), and there was a lot that was not right up front--people were lying, etc. It could've gotten very ugly due to eviction laws in our state. I think our state says that after three days, you're not a guest, and to get rid of someone, you have to evict them, even if they aren't paying rent, etc. Whatever it is, it's insane! 2 2 Quote
Storygirl Posted February 23, 2020 Posted February 23, 2020 I do think I would be worried about the long-term implications. If this is seen as a step up in independence from living with her parents, but it ends up being the highest level of independence she can achieve, then what? What if she is 100% happy living with you indefinitely, but you would rather not? I think there are a lot of things that could go wrong, but I am thinking here about what happens if things go so right that everyone expects the situation to continue without a plan for the next step. Would you be willing to have a tenant forever? Is your daughter happy with the idea of this friend living with her? I would also ask a lot of questions about what kind of supports she needs now while living with her parents, because someone will still need to provide those supports. Are they expecting it to be you, or are they just thinking you provide the room and otherwise be hands off? 3 Quote
Ottakee Posted February 23, 2020 Author Posted February 23, 2020 I talked to her mom today. We agreed this is a possibility but not immediately. I would find out the legalities of doing a month by month lease. She could leave any time or if I decided it wasn't working I would give 30 days notice. Lots of things to figure out and first she needs to be approved for SSI as I can't take on the financial liability of another person. Step by step we will see. 7 Quote
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