Insomnia in hormonal tween

[MercyA]

From about age 3 until recently, DD11 was an excellent sleeper. Fell asleep quickly and slept 'til a reasonable hour of the morning. Recently she's had a difficult time "settling in," as she puts it, and going to sleep. She's too hot, she's too cold, she can't get comfortable. She's staying awake up to two hours later than she normally falls asleep.

All of this is coinciding with some uterine cramping (which I also have right now), headaches, and occasional nausea (which I also tend to get before my period). I am pre-menopausal so my cycles are cray-cray. I haven't had a period since December, I think, but I'm guessing it's coming soon. I also often have insomnia before my period. She has been cramping when I do for about six months now, but hasn't actually started menstruating yet.

She's had no recent trauma and seems generally happy, but the lack of sleep is causing meltdowns in the morning. 

How can I help my girl sleep better?

[sbgrace]

Thoughts based on my experience with my son, who has struggled with significant insomnia since about 11 or 12, and myself:

*good exercise*, a wind down routine, regular wake time, practice mindfulness, explore progressive relaxation (form of mindfulness/often helpful when getting ready to go to sleep), avoid caffeine after noon, consider if getting up for a relaxing activity if she can't fall asleep will help or hurt. 

Is she feeling anxious about it at all? it's better not to lay awake for long periods--particularly if she's laying awake and aware of time or stressed about it. So, getting up to read or color or similar relaxing activity until she feels more ready for sleep if she doesn't settle well may be good.  Basically, you want low anxiety about insomnia (as if it's no big deal/remember that relaxing is also good for you, etc). You don't want to add stress about sleep to the mix.

My son started listening to "sleep with me" podcasts so his mind wouldn't race, I mention in case that is also part of the picture for your daughter. 

The biggest natural helps for my son are/were exercise, mindfulness, and regular wake times.  He uses progressive relaxation at night still. He doesn't use a video/script, but he learned from this video (kind of kid oriented/but it worked): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDKyRpW-Yuc. He practice it during the day, too, back then.  

Have you tried or are you open to supplements like magnesium or melatonin?

Edited February 20, 2020 by sbgrace

[maize]

There's a lot of research indicating that adolescents have a naturally later sleep/wake cycle; is she able to sleep in if she goes to sleep later?

A two hour delay in the release of melatonin/onset of sleep compared to the circadian rhythms of earlier childhood appears to be normal; circadian rhythms usually move towards a somewhat earlier onset of sleep again in adulthood.

"HOW DOES PUBERTY ALTERS SLEEP-WAKE CYCLE? 
There are changes in the biological clock or circadian rhythms of teenagers. At 
about the time of puberty onset, most teenagers begin to experience a sleep-wake “phase delay” (later sleep onset and wake up time), manifested as a shift of up to 2 hours relative to sleep-wake cycles in middle childhood. 
The onset of sleep is triggered by the release of melatonin, a natural body 
hormone. Toward dawn, melatonin shuts off and cortisol increases and also 
core body temperature rises, signaling the individual to wake up. Two biological 
changes in sleep regulation are thought to occur during puberty. First, there is a 
delayed timing of nocturnal melatonin secretion, that parallels a shift in circadian phase preference. Therefore, teenagers have a biological tendency to fall asleep later in the evening and to wake up later in the morning. Additionally, sleep drive Is altered across adolescence. Even those teenager, who have experienced sleep deprivation (and therefore accumulated a sleep debt) tend to feel more alert in the evening, thus making it more difficult to go to bed at a time that parents might 
consider a reasonable hour. There is a further “mismatch” in that early school start times for adolescents and teens that do not allow them to achieve their biological need to have a later out-of-bed/wake time and achieve an adequate amount of sleep for optimal daytime functioning."

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://sleepeducation.org/docs/default-document-library/teenssleeppatternsandschoolperformanceB612AF04BD8440DD1D8A412D.pdf%3Fsfvrsn%3D2&ved=2ahUKEwiE5YKa39_nAhUQXK0KHaUfC0kQFjASegQIBhAB&usg=AOvVaw2HDMdtWkLCwhnsjozzlKiL&cshid=1582188477866

[HSmomof2]

I went through a terrible period of insomnia before I my first period started. My dd did as well. Even now, we both experience insomnia for a couple days as a PMS symptom. We both use melatonin during these times. I also let her sleep in when she can. 

[sarahbobeara]

My DD17 has had problems sleeping, but more due to anxiety. We've tried melatonin (at age 13/14) with mixed results. We got her a weighted blanket when she was 14, maybe 15. It helps immensely, and she brings it when we travel by car. I have hormonal-based insomnia (randomly awake for a few hours at 2 or 3am), and I have considered getting myself a weighted blanket. 

[catz]

I think this can come and go and things can shift a bit as puberty approaches, but rigorous exercise and outdoor time definitely is helpful for all of us here.  

[Scarlett]

11 hours ago, maize said:

There's a lot of research indicating that adolescents have a naturally later sleep/wake cycle; is she able to sleep in if she goes to sleep later?

A two hour delay in the release of melatonin/onset of sleep compared to the circadian rhythms of earlier childhood appears to be normal; circadian rhythms usually move towards a somewhat earlier onset of sleep again in adulthood.

"HOW DOES PUBERTY ALTERS SLEEP-WAKE CYCLE? 
There are changes in the biological clock or circadian rhythms of teenagers. At 
about the time of puberty onset, most teenagers begin to experience a sleep-wake “phase delay” (later sleep onset and wake up time), manifested as a shift of up to 2 hours relative to sleep-wake cycles in middle childhood. 
The onset of sleep is triggered by the release of melatonin, a natural body 
hormone. Toward dawn, melatonin shuts off and cortisol increases and also 
core body temperature rises, signaling the individual to wake up. Two biological 
changes in sleep regulation are thought to occur during puberty. First, there is a 
delayed timing of nocturnal melatonin secretion, that parallels a shift in circadian phase preference. Therefore, teenagers have a biological tendency to fall asleep later in the evening and to wake up later in the morning. Additionally, sleep drive Is altered across adolescence. Even those teenager, who have experienced sleep deprivation (and therefore accumulated a sleep debt) tend to feel more alert in the evening, thus making it more difficult to go to bed at a time that parents might 
consider a reasonable hour. There is a further “mismatch” in that early school start times for adolescents and teens that do not allow them to achieve their biological need to have a later out-of-bed/wake time and achieve an adequate amount of sleep for optimal daytime functioning."

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://sleepeducation.org/docs/default-document-library/teenssleeppatternsandschoolperformanceB612AF04BD8440DD1D8A412D.pdf%3Fsfvrsn%3D2&ved=2ahUKEwiE5YKa39_nAhUQXK0KHaUfC0kQFjASegQIBhAB&usg=AOvVaw2HDMdtWkLCwhnsjozzlKiL&cshid=1582188477866

I definitely agree that teens need a different sleep cycle than the rest of us.  

Also Mercy, my best friend got insomnia at age 12 and that is when she started her periods.  Sadly, she has had chronic insomnia ever since.  So if there is anything you can do to reset her sleep patterns now to keep it from becoming a life long issue, I strongly recommend you do so.  Lack of sleep causes major problems.  

[Acadie]

My dd13 and I both have Sleepphones, a soft headband with thin earbuds you can sleep with, that plug into a battery-operated CD player, and when we have insomnia we just listen to guided meditation. This has really helped both of us--for me, instead of stressing about not being able to sleep, I'm either falling asleep during the guided meditation, or I feel like I'm doing something I'd like to incorporate more of anyway, and even if I don't fall asleep during the meditation itself I'm definitely more relaxed and usually fall asleep right after. It's so rare for me to have a night where I can't get back to sleep now that when it does happen it's not a huge deal. One night of insomnia isn't the end of the world, it's just when they accumulate that it really starts to have a negative impact on your life.

We like Denise Linn's 33 Spirit Journeys CD set. Some of the CDs are better than others for nighttime use.

[MercyA]

19 hours ago, sbgrace said:

Thoughts based on my experience with my son, who has struggled with significant insomnia since about 11 or 12, and myself:

*good exercise*, a wind down routine, regular wake time, practice mindfulness, explore progressive relaxation (form of mindfulness/often helpful when getting ready to go to sleep), avoid caffeine after noon, consider if getting up for a relaxing activity if she can't fall asleep will help or hurt. 

Is she feeling anxious about it at all? it's better not to lay awake for long periods--particularly if she's laying awake and aware of time or stressed about it. So, getting up to read or color or similar relaxing activity until she feels more ready for sleep if she don't settle well may be good.  Basically, you want low anxiety about insomnia (as if it's no big deal/remember that relaxing is also good for you, etc). You don't want to add stress about sleep to the mix.

My son started listening to "sleep with me" podcasts so his mind wouldn't race, I mention in case that is also part of the picture for your daughter. 

The biggest natural helps for my son are/were exercise, mindfulness, and regular wake times.  He uses progressive relaxation at night still. He doesn't use a video/script, but he learned from this video (kind of kid oriented/but it worked): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDKyRpW-Yuc. He practice it during the day, too, back then.  

Have you tried or are you open to supplements like magnesium or melatonin?

Thank you! 

We definitely notice she sleeps better when she gets good exercise. We will be more intentional about that.

I have done my best to be casual about her insomnia so she doesn't become anxious about it--that's a great point. She is definitely allowed to get up, get a drink, read for a while, etc. if she can't sleep. Unfortunately she doesn't regulate herself well--if she gets caught up in a good book, she will read for much longer than she should. 

She takes magnesium every night for restless legs and has been taking it for probably well over a year. We haven't tried melatonin yet.

[MercyA]

6 hours ago, sarahbobeara said:

My DD17 has had problems sleeping, but more due to anxiety. We've tried melatonin (at age 13/14) with mixed results. We got her a weighted blanket when she was 14, maybe 15. It helps immensely, and she brings it when we travel by car. I have hormonal-based insomnia (randomly awake for a few hours at 2 or 3am), and I have considered getting myself a weighted blanket. 

We have a heavy Solaron Korean mink blanket for her, but it can make her too hot. We might try an actual weighted blanket--thanks for the reminder! 

[MercyA]

3 hours ago, Acadie said:

My dd13 and I both have Sleepphones, a soft headband with thin earbuds you can sleep with, that plug into a battery-operated CD player, and when we have insomnia we just listen to guided meditation. This has really helped both of us--for me, instead of stressing about not being able to sleep, I'm either falling asleep during the guided meditation, or I feel like I'm doing something I'd like to incorporate more of anyway, and even if I don't fall asleep during the meditation itself I'm definitely more relaxed and usually fall asleep right after. It's so rare for me to have a night where I can't get back to sleep now that when it does happen it's not a huge deal. One night of insomnia isn't the end of the world, it's just when they accumulate that it really starts to have a negative impact on your life.

We like Denise Linn's 33 Spirit Journeys CD set. Some of the CDs are better than others for nighttime use.

Thanks, I will look into these!