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CuriousMomof3

Strategies for resetting your internal clock?

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42 minutes ago, arctic_bunny said:

So in my mind, you are working a 05-17 shift. And getting up at 0300 to get ready for your day. So I would get up at 0300, and you can’t shower, but do all the other toiletries for the morning. You can certainly use the blue light then. Check the effective distance and angle for your light. 10 minutes, if you can manage, and maybe another 10 minutes around 0900 or 1000. 
I find that watching Netflix at that point in my day will put me back to sleep. So *I* would use that time to do things like make a cup of tea, fold laundry while listening to Netflix or an audio book, meal plan, order groceries to be picked up later. I would have supper around 1700. Then start my evening routine of getting ready for bed, planning to be in bed by 2030. I would take melatonin then, and be mentally prepared to sleep.


Staying up, once I'm in my son's room, isn't the issue.  I do fine with that.  And if I didn't, it would be fine.  An alarm would wake me up.  I get a fair amount done in the night on my computer.  

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30 minutes ago, CuriousMomof3 said:


Staying up, once I'm in my son's room, isn't the issue.  I do fine with that.  And if I didn't, it would be fine.  An alarm would wake me up.  I get a fair amount done in the night on my computer.  

What time are you able to start getting ready for bed in the evening?

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Just now, arctic_bunny said:

What time are you able to start getting ready for bed in the evening?

 

So, one of the things I'm hoping to get out of the shift is more time with my other kids, so my thought is that I'd put all 3 kids to bed one at a time, with DS10 first, and then go straight to bed. So, the time before bed could be nice and quiet and relaxing, or it could be my kids emptying all their worries into my head.  Hard to know. 

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4 minutes ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

 

So, one of the things I'm hoping to get out of the shift is more time with my other kids, so my thought is that I'd put all 3 kids to bed one at a time, with DS10 first, and then go straight to bed. So, the time before bed could be nice and quiet and relaxing, or it could be my kids emptying all their worries into my head.  Hard to know. 

If bedtime goes smoothly, that is the absolute best!

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1 minute ago, arctic_bunny said:

If bedtime goes smoothly, that is the absolute best!

 

Yeah, one of the things that I think went "wrong" on Monday is that my oldest was working with his math tutor, and they were playing a math game and it ran long.  So, instead of like a nice quiet time with one kid, and then the next, and then the next.  I had like 45 minutes between the last two, and completely woke back up.  

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1 minute ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

 

Yeah, one of the things that I think went "wrong" on Monday is that my oldest was working with his math tutor, and they were playing a math game and it ran long.  So, instead of like a nice quiet time with one kid, and then the next, and then the next.  I had like 45 minutes between the last two, and completely woke back up.  

I honestly find that if I have to be up at 0400, I need DH to do bedtime, and I need to be in bed before that happens. Because if I’m in bed too late, I start doing the whole “if I go to sleep RIGHT NOW, I’ll get x hours of sleep.” If they are upstairs, I find a boring audio book, or listen to a movie I’ve seen a thousand times before, just to block out the noise. If they are downstairs, I can listen to a sleep meditation, if needed. Oh yes! Sleep mediations! Have you tried those?

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13 minutes ago, arctic_bunny said:

I honestly find that if I have to be up at 0400, I need DH to do bedtime, and I need to be in bed before that happens. Because if I’m in bed too late, I start doing the whole “if I go to sleep RIGHT NOW, I’ll get x hours of sleep.” If they are upstairs, I find a boring audio book, or listen to a movie I’ve seen a thousand times before, just to block out the noise. If they are downstairs, I can listen to a sleep meditation, if needed. Oh yes! Sleep mediations! Have you tried those?

 

Bedtime with one adult doesn't work here.  We could have one parent go to sleep and my two bio kids just put themselves to bed, but they are really needing that time with a parent and without their brother to talk through their feelings and anxieties, which is a big part of why we're trying to reshuffle.  

 Do you have a particular sleep meditation to suggest?  

My husband is an LEO, he's on leave now, but he's worked shift work my kids' whole lives, so one thing they know is how not to wake sleeping parents.  They are very good at that.  

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1 minute ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

 

Bedtime with one adult doesn't work here.  We could have one parent go to sleep and my two bio kids just put themselves to bed, but they are really needing that time with a parent and without their brother to talk through their feelings and anxieties, which is a big part of why we're trying to reshuffle.  

 Do you have a particular sleep meditation to suggest?  

My husband is an LEO, he's on leave now, but he's worked shift work my kids' whole lives, so one thing they know is how not to wake sleeping parents.  They are very good at that.  

Yes, when I started this job my coworkers were concerned how my kids would adapt. I was like, well, they’ve been doing it their whole lives with their dad...

I try to build that one on one time in earlier in the day, but since I work 4/4, that is only the two nights before I work days, then before my two night shifts, so I know I have the snuggle time and night time chats the other 4 evenings.

I have had the most success with Tracks to Relaxguided-sleep-meditations/id834515877



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11 hours ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

I ordered the blue light that @klmama suggested, but now I am wondering how to use it.  Any suggestions?  Imagine a schedule where I am hopefully sleeping 9p.m. to 3 a.m. and then need to be alert in a quiet dark space from 3:00 to about 7:00.  Ideas?

I am tagging @Ktgrok because I think I remember reading that you use light therapy 

they are very bright, but at least mine is very focused - so if you are facing him and the light is facing you it won't be very bright on him. Picture a spot light - doesn't light up the whole room, just the area it is focused on. So might work if he's sleeping deeply enough to have t in there with you. 

I use mine for 15-30 minutes every morning. 

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2 hours ago, Ktgrok said:
hours ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

I ordered the blue light that @klmama suggested, but now I am wondering how to use it.  Any suggestions?  Imagine a schedule where I am hopefully sleeping 9p.m. to 3 a.m. and then need to be alert in a quiet dark space from 3:00 to about 7:00.  Ideas?

I am tagging @Ktgrok because I think I remember reading that you use light therapy

 

I was wondering, if the emergency alarm noises would wake you in an emergency, do you have to be awake from 3:00-7:00?  

Or could you sleep in Ds10 room those 4 hours? Or from 9 or 10 pm to 6 am absent emergency?

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3 minutes ago, Pen said:

 

I was wondering, if the emergency alarm noises would wake you in an emergency, do you have to be awake from 3:00-7:00?  

Or could you sleep in Ds10 room those 4 hours? Or from 9 or 10 pm to 6 am absent emergency?


If someone isn’t watching the tech, he alarms at least a couple times an hour.  Not all of those things are actual emergencies, but they still need to be attended to. 

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3 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

they are very bright, but at least mine is very focused - so if you are facing him and the light is facing you it won't be very bright on him. Picture a spot light - doesn't light up the whole room, just the area it is focused on. So might work if he's sleeping deeply enough to have t in there with you. 

I use mine for 15-30 minutes every morning. 

 

This is a very dumb question, I am sure, but do my eyes need to be open?  I mean, I couldn't put it on a timer and set it to turn on 15 minutes before I woke up or something could I?  Or just turn it on and hit snooze?  

They don't make battery operated ones that I could just carry around with me do they?  

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3 hours ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

 

This is a very dumb question, I am sure, but do my eyes need to be open?  I mean, I couldn't put it on a timer and set it to turn on 15 minutes before I woke up or something could I?  Or just turn it on and hit snooze?  

They don't make battery operated ones that I could just carry around with me do they?  

Mine is battery operated and has a wake function on it. It’s a Phillips GoLite.

ETA: People react differently. When we lived above the Arctic Circle, and had 24-hour darkness for months at a time, the kids and I took turns using the light at breakfast. I would use it again for 10 minutes to get through the afternoon, otherwise I would be sound asleep by 1500. However, if the kids used it anytime after about 1000, they’d be wide awake until midnight. DH did not use the light because he was on call 24/7 and not following a schedule. He used melatonin during 24-hour daylight to fall asleep.

Edited by arctic_bunny

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5 hours ago, arctic_bunny said:

Mine is battery operated and has a wake function on it. It’s a Phillips GoLite.

Oh, I think I should return the one I ordered and get that one.  Battery operated would mean I could carry it around.  It would be easier to get time in if I did that.  

Is this a good one?  I could get it shipped in time

https://www.amazon.com/Philips-GoLite-Energy-Therapy-Rechargeable/dp/B07FFV2LXT/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=phillips+golite&qid=1581816833&sr=8-2

5 hours ago, arctic_bunny said:

ETA: People react differently. When we lived above the Arctic Circle, and had 24-hour darkness for months at a time, the kids and I took turns using the light at breakfast. I would use it again for 10 minutes to get through the afternoon, otherwise I would be sound asleep by 1500. However, if the kids used it anytime after about 1000, they’d be wide awake until midnight. DH did not use the light because he was on call 24/7 and not following a schedule. He used melatonin during 24-hour daylight to fall asleep.


How many minutes did you use it in the morning?  I can see people talking about using it in your circumstances or for SAD, but not for resetting the clock.

 

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3 hours ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

Oh, I think I should return the one I ordered and get that one.  Battery operated would mean I could carry it around.  It would be easier to get time in if I did that.  

Is this a good one?  I could get it shipped in time

https://www.amazon.com/Philips-GoLite-Energy-Therapy-Rechargeable/dp/B07FFV2LXT/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=phillips+golite&qid=1581816833&sr=8-2


How many minutes did you use it in the morning?  I can see people talking about using it in your circumstances or for SAD, but not for resetting the clock.

 

That looks like the newer model of the one I have 🙂

I think how we used it was resetting our clock. In a way, every day required a reset. Otherwise, in the absence of sunlight, your body falls into its own rhythm. You just sleep and get up whenever. Which is fine if you have no need to adhere to a clock.... I mean, there was the time I woke up to DS (4 or 5yo) watching cartoons at 1:30 in the morning. He woke up, the clock said 11, I think it was, and he didn’t know if it was day or night....


If the light works to tell your brain that it is, indeed, time to get up, I think it will help that waking up time be less of a struggle for you. And that being “up” then, will trickle into the rest of your day, enabling your brain to settle down more easily when it is bed time. But I also think you may need melatonin to get into the stare of mind of being ready to sleep. And I think that routine is helpful for the brain at our age, just as we do for our kids. So if the melatonin helped you ease into sleep while listening to a meditation, soon listening to the meditation might be enough on its own, kwim?

Edited by arctic_bunny
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