So sick of mean girls...

[JustEm]

... especially when the girl is related to me and hurting my DD. This is territory I don't know how to handle. Non family mean girls are easy for me to help with because I dealt with my fair share of them. But with family it is so delicate. They stay with us when they visit. DD has looked up to her for years. She's always been a handful but never took it out on DD before this week.

Now DD is crying and doesn't know how to fix things since she knows she isn't wrong but also knows our relative won't admit being wrong. DD finally said, ' I'm not going to discuss this anymore. You being mad is your choice.' And then ended the chat and went to play Roblox (how the two generally interact.)  Relative continued to argue via chat window but DD didn't see. I decided just to delete it so she could play happily without the drama.

Just needed to vent. 

[BusyMom5]

Well, I think she handled it perfectly- she can be mad and your DD can just go play without her.  I do think I would talk to DD about sometimes people have bad days and need to pick a fight.

[JustEm]

6 minutes ago, BusyMom5 said:

Well, I think she handled it perfectly- she can be mad and your DD can just go play without her.  I do think I would talk to DD about sometimes people have bad days and need to pick a fight.

 

We talked about that  earlier this week when it started. At which point my DD made a calm respectful response and thought things would be settled. Later I found her crying as she stared at the computinnf asking my DS if she could just unfriend said relative on Roblox. When I told her that was absolutely fine she was so relieved. She decided that if relative wanted to discuss things more she could call or chat via Hangouts. Well that chat happened tonight and relative is just as upset as day 1 over what everyone in my household thinks is petty. But this person is the type who always has a problem with someone. Sadly, she seems DD is a good target this time around.

Thankfully, DD knows this person acts this way because she has often had to stop her from gossiping and venting about her other friends. Because DD doesn't want to hear it. So, she's just trying to ride it out and hope their relationship can go back to normal and that she's stuck up for herself enough to keep it at bay. For a 10 year old, I'm very humbled by dd's way of handling this. I'm just sad she has to handle it in the first place

[Tanaqui]

Your daughter is ten? She's showing even more composure and maturity than I thought from the first post, then. It's an awful situation, but at least you know she's handling it really, really well.

[Annie G]

I puffy heart love how maturely your daughter is handling this. Sorry she’s still hurting, though. 

[Harriet Vane]

Definitely screenshot the texts. And show no hesitation in standing up for your dd.

(I've had more than my fair share of mean behavior from relatives, so I feel your pain.)

[JustEm]

26 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

Your daughter is ten? She's showing even more composure and maturity than I thought from the first post, then. It's an awful situation, but at least you know she's handling it really, really well.

 

22 minutes ago, Annie G said:

I puffy heart love how maturely your daughter is handling this. Sorry she’s still hurting, though. 

 

Thank you. She certainly has showed a level of maturity that I wouldn't expect from many her age and of course isn't always this mature. 

She is not comforted by my praise of her maturity(mom is just trying to make her feel better.) Maybe reason your words will show her it isn't just me.

[JustEm]

24 minutes ago, WendyAndMilo said:

I would probably screenshot the chats just in case it came up with the adults, you'd have some evidence...I'm sorry your DD is going through this 😞

That is a good idea. Thankfully, the adult involves knows her child's personality so won't be surprised if I feel I need to get her involved. For now, I'm just guiding DD in the manner she wants to handle it.

[JustEm]

2 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

Definitely screenshot the texts. And show no hesitation in standing up for your dd.

(I've had more than my fair share of mean behavior from relatives, so I feel your pain.)

Oh I've got dd's back 100%. My hope is this calms down now that dd has made it clear she won't play into the drama. But if not we'll navigate that together when the time comes.

[Harriet Vane]

Just now, hjffkj said:

Oh I've got dd's back 100%. My hope is this calms down now that dd has made it clear she won't play into the drama. But if not we'll navigate that together when the time comes.

I had a feeling you would totally have your dd's back. You seem the type. I hope it calms down for her too.

[Annie G]

9 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

 

 

Thank you. She certainly has showed a level of maturity that I wouldn't expect from many her age and of course isn't always this mature. 

She is not comforted by my praise of her maturity(mom is just trying to make her feel better.) Maybe reason your words will show her it isn't just me.

The maturity she is developing is going to serve her so well as she becomes an adult. You can’t control how other people act, but you can control how you react and learn to set healthy boundaries. Currently your ten year old is showing more maturity than many adults I know.  Still sucks to be the mature one because taking the high road doesn’t always feel very satisfying in the moment. In the moment she’d probably rather tell her off or smack her upside the head. G

[MaBelle]

Mean girls suck.  I just had it out with my two sis in laws about being mean to my sister.  Grown women acting like they are 14.  Likely we won't be speaking for a very long time.