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DawnM

How did we ever survive?

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without cell phones?

This is a VENT.  

My son spent the night at a friend's house.  He texted me this am to ask to pick him up.  I got all the way over there and realized I forgot my phone.  So I sat outside the house and waited since he knew I was coming.  Nope, he didn't even bother to look out and see if I was there.  I just drove off and have now sent DH to pick him up.   

I am still in PJs and no support or jacket, so no way was I knocking on a door of a house filled with teen boys.

I vented to DH and he said, "Well, we don't live in that age anymore, you should have taken your phone."  (ok, he wasn't quite that rude, but that is how I took it.)

It has been such a rough week at work and I am in no mood to deal with more teen stuff right now.  I am hiding in my room for a while.

That is all.  I need chocolate and vodka.  

Please don't dump on me.  I can't take it right now.  I have hit my breaking point.

Edited by DawnM
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Sending virtual chocolate!

I had to pick my older kids up from a morning class to take them to theater rehearsal last week. They knew I was coming. I was there five minutes before class got out and pulled up in front of the building, just past the front doors. Class got out and a mass of kids exited the building. I sat and waited for another ten minutes, thinking maybe they stopped to talk to a teacher or something.

Finally I texted my dd that I was there. They'd been waiting just inside the door thinking they would see me drive up, it never occurred to them to step outside and look for my Very Big Easy To Spot Van sitting not fifteen feet from that door.

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That sounds like something I would do, and would have your exact same reaction. Sounds like some binge watching and take-out are in store for you today. DH can take the kids and they can do their own thing. Sorry it’s been a rough week. 

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My sympathies.  Our phones are hugely convenient, but I think they can also make us a little lazy.  (I'm not dumping on your son.  This sort of thing has happened to me with older people in my family.  Is it too hard to be watching for me in the place indicated that you'd like me to meet you?  Can you look up from your screen long enough to watch for me?)

Chocolate and being alone sounds heavenly!  I'm sorry you had a rough week.

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Kids use to be able to go to school office and borrow the phone to call home. When my DS15 entered kindergarten, the secretary would still be kind enough to help call but I heard some schools don’t.

Before cellphones, whoever driving would have park and honk and the host would go get the kid to let him/her know that his/her “chauffeur” is here. 

Edited by Arcadia
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Next time he asked to sleep over my answer would be no or he could walk.  Pickup service is a privilege that requires treating your mother with respect.  I would be furious that he couldn’t be bothered to look out the window, and even if I had my phone I still might have left.  That said, I never go out in my pajamas to pick my daughter up from morning swim practice because I am convinced that will be the day I hit a deer or have some other car trouble.

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I have experienced that cell phones are far from reliable, though. There are tons of times they don't work for our family for a variety of reasons. So while they can be really helpful, there is still a need for using "old school" ways of doing things. This usually means pre-planning and communication.

So for your ds: He needs to know that he should be on the look out for his ride.

And for you: When you drive somewhere, there is always the chance you have to get out of your car.  

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That’s among my worst nightmares!

I have made that pajama run. And have had to wait for the kid who is supposed to be watching but wasn’t. No fun. But haven’t forgotten my phone - how frustrating!

I learned the hard way, after returning to work, to carefully evaluate Saturday morning transport commitments, or at least to enlist dad (the early bird) for his fair share of chauffeur duty. We have never been a big spend the night family, and have said no to sleepovers just to not have to do a Saturday or early Sunday pickup. 

Hope the rest of your weekend is relaxing!

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N/M.....I am obviously struggling too much to respond in a nice way.

Edited by DawnM

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27 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

That’s among my worst nightmares!

I have made that pajama run. And have had to wait for the kid who is supposed to be watching but wasn’t. No fun. But haven’t forgotten my phone - how frustrating!

I learned the hard way, after returning to work, to carefully evaluate Saturday morning transport commitments, or at least to enlist dad (the early bird) for his fair share of chauffeur duty. We have never been a big spend the night family, and have said no to sleepovers just to not have to do a Saturday or early Sunday pickup. 

Hope the rest of your weekend is relaxing!

 

I have never forgotten my phone before either.

This has been a really rough week.  I am struggling.  

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I probably would have honked.

Stay in your room, all day if need be.  Sorry you've been having a rough week.

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I was going to suggested ringing the doorbell and then dashing back to the car, but if it was me I'd probably get hit in the face with my unsupported b00ks, so maybe not. 

I hate getting out of the car too when I'm not prepared for it.

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(((Hugs)))

I am sorry you are struggling.  

If it makes you feel any better, the last time I forgot my phone, (I do that quite a bit,) it was at my moms.  We live 2.5 hrs from my parents.  Thankfully we were only a half hour out so we could turn around and go back.  I thought DH was gonna kill me 😐

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I’m sorry! I would have been super frustrated and annoyed my kid didn’t look out for me (which it seems they often don’t, and I have to go in and get them from somewhere 🙄). I hope your day improves and this upcoming week is better. 

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That's a rough start to the weekend! Hide out in your room as long as you need to. Send dh for chocolate. 

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This kind of scenario is common in my family, not only with cell phone use though. I can't tell you the number of times I've had to spell out very obvious things to my kids, generally my teens. For some reason, they often don't think of the obvious, common sense things in the moment, especially if they;re hanging out with friends. For some reason, hanging with friends sometimes short-circuits the common sense part of their brains.

ETA: And yes, it is SUPER DUPER annoying! It's often REALLY hard to hold it in. Especially when the teen tries to shift the responsibility on the PARENT for their bone headed behavior. (Well, you didn't tell me...) Oh, wait, Those are MY teens. Maybe the OP's teens are different.

Edited by fairfarmhand
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Yeah I do feel like the reliance of cell phones has led to people in my home forgetting common sense (like looking out the window to see if an expected ride is there).

I don't take it well. In fact, I have gotten furious at total lack of common sense in the people around me. But my family fails to see my point. They just think I am the crazy one.

 

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Last week I was picking up younger DD from class. She is too young for a phone, but she knows the routine. I say outside double-parked forEVER watching her through the big window watching her stand turned away watching another class. Argh! Eventually I drove around, found a parking place, and went in to get her.  It was evening, so at least I was dressed.

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Joining in with some commiseration: my 17 yo DD attends the local comm college. She doesn't drive yet. I tell her every time I drop her off who is picking her up and when. Yet, is she waiting at that time? No, she is hidden away deep in the school's library and requires a text (which is responded to with, "Give me a sec to check this book out " or something similar) or somebody to come hunt her down! AAARRRRGH! 

I am sorry you are having a bad week, Dawn. Here's hoping you have some chocolate, some peace, and some naps this weekend!

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I am sorry you are having a rough time.

Don't be hard on your kid. It would not have occurred to me to be on the lookout because I would have expected the person picking me up to simply ring the doorbell. The scenario that they would not be dressed for public while driving to get me would honestly not have crossed my mind.

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I think cell phones, smart phones in particular, are the worst invention.  The cons far outweigh the pros for me.  

I hate them, but here we are and I have to use on too.

I would have a cosmo with the chocolate.  I think a salty snack would round it out nicely.

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Poor Dawn. You are having a tough time lately. (((Hugs)))

The other day I was picking my mom up for an appointment at 10 am. At 9:34 I texted her one my way.’ She said ok.  I live 5 min away.. I got to her house and texted ‘’here’. After 10 min which by now is 15 til 10 I went to the door. I was so annoyed!!!!

so I feel your pain 

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We are pretty darn dependent, I know that. Last week, dd had a court date to finalize her divorce. I dropped her at the courthouse, and planned to take the kids to a nearby park, get a snack, etc. and then just pick her back up (parking down there is nuts, and we had some things to do afterward, in case anyone wonders why she didn't just go alone).

She accidentally brought in both her phone AND mine. Had it not been for the grandkids' iPads, where I could face time her quickly and make a backup plan, it would've likely been a big pain trying to guess when she'd be finished.

I realize I count on my phone a lot, but honestly, I don't know that I would've survived the teen years without the ability to make sure my kids were okay if they were past curfew, or just the ability to have peace of mind that they arrived somewhere safely. I don't know how my parents did it.

Edited by StaceyinLA
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54 minutes ago, StaceyinLA said:

We are pretty darn dependent, I know that. Last week, dd had a court date to finalize her divorce. I dropped her at the courthouse, and planned to take the kids to a nearby park, get a snack, etc. and then just pick her back up (parking down there is nuts, and we had some things to do afterward, in case anyone wonders why she didn't just go alone).

She accidentally brought in both her phone AND mine. Had it not been for the grandkids' iPads, where I could face time her quickly and make a backup plan, it would've likely been a big pain trying to guess when she'd be finished.

I realize I count on my phone a lot, but honestly, I don't know that I would've survived the teen years without the ability to make sure my kids were okay if they were past curfew, or just the ability to have peace of mind that they arrived somewhere safely. I don't know how my parents did it.

I REALLY appreciate this aspect of cell phones! I can't imagine how my parents survived without stressing out completely. 

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5 hours ago, Mom2mthj said:

Next time he asked to sleep over my answer would be no or he could walk.  Pickup service is a privilege that requires treating your mother with respect.  I would be furious that he couldn’t be bothered to look out the window, and even if I had my phone I still might have left.  That said, I never go out in my pajamas to pick my daughter up from morning swim practice because I am convinced that will be the day I hit a deer or have some other car trouble.

 

Seriously? That’s harsh!

How was the kid disrespectful? He assumed his mom would text him (as is probably usual for them) to let him know she had arrived, so he wasn’t sitting by the window watching for her. Additionally, he probably assumed she would have knocked on the door if she’d forgotten her phone, as he wouldn’t have expected that she wouldn’t have been fully dressed. 

I don’t think anyone was at fault here. We have all forgotten our phones at some point, and I also don’t blame Dawn for not getting dressed when she was probably only driving a few miles and she figured there would be no reason to get out of the car. (And I say this fully knowing I’m like you about it — I always worry that the one time I don’t get fully dressed before I go out, something terrible will happen and half the world will see me in my jammies!)

Edited by Catwoman
Dopey typo!
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My kid wouldn't have done that either.  I'm not sure that would have occurred to me as a scenario if I were waiting on ride and was used to hearing from someone via text.  But I'm sorry you're having a rough week Dawn!  Sending much virtual vodka and chocolate!  I have been full of a series of minor unfortunate events lately PLUS it's January in the upper midwest and I'm kind of over it.  

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When I was a young teen, my dad was supposed to pick me up at the mall. I'm old, so no cell phones and I called him from the pay phone when I was ready. We somehow confused the meeting place, which was of course NOT by the pay phone. I waited forever, not wanting to go call because that would be the minute he would drive up, lol. I started getting really anxious. Did something happen to him? Or was he in the wrong place and getting worried that he couldn't find me?  

Finally, I went back to the phone and spent all my quarters tracking him down. He wasn't worried at all. When he didn't see me where he thought I should be, he shrugged and left. I was mortally offended because he wasn't panicking about me being missing 😂 (this was the 80s, when abductions were first getting all the press)

I love cell phones. 

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I had a better day.  I went to lunch with a friend and then went to visit a friend in the hospital.  Home now watching a movie with DH.

I wasn't hard on DS, and was in a better mood when I got home.

But still overwhelmed.

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11 minutes ago, katilac said:

When I was a young teen, my dad was supposed to pick me up at the mall. I'm old, so no cell phones and I called him from the pay phone when I was ready. We somehow confused the meeting place, which was of course NOT by the pay phone. I waited forever, not wanting to go call because that would be the minute he would drive up, lol. I started getting really anxious. Did something happen to him? Or was he in the wrong place and getting worried that he couldn't find me?  

Finally, I went back to the phone and spent all my quarters tracking him down. He wasn't worried at all. When he didn't see me where he thought I should be, he shrugged and left. I was mortally offended because he wasn't panicking about me being missing 😂 (this was the 80s, when abductions were first getting all the press)

I love cell phones. 

This just made me remember waiting for a call to come into a pay phone. That was stressful. You’d be waiting for the pay phone to ring and then someone would come up and use it. Or times when a pay phone would ring and someone on the other end was looking for someone that wasn’t there. It is all so inefficient 😂 

I was left stranded a few times in high school when my brother took the family car somewhere and wasn’t home in time. I was just stuck until he came home because there was no way to track him down. Seems crazy. 

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