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Ideas for when your girls start their .


sangtarah
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Tricky to title this but...

Did you do anything special when your daughter started her first cycle?  Any little gift or outing? I’m not usually a sentimental mom, but thought this might warrant an extra touch. Especially since I’m overwhelmed with the second dd and her anxiety right now. My oldest didn’t want to tell me bc her sister was going through a crisis about returning to school. (She refused yesterday, the school psych came to talk to her, she went today, thankfully.) Oldest did of lot of babysitting for me yesterday. Today she feels crappy, so I’m letting her rest and chill. 

I did order a special “Mom and Me” journal to start filling out together, but other ideas would be appreciated. 

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21 minutes ago, regentrude said:

No, we didn't. She would have hated the idea. I would have been mortified if my mother had surprised me with a joint journal on the occasion of my first period... ugh

 

16 minutes ago, Loowit said:

Other than make sure she remembered where the supplies were, no.  I would have hated it if my mom had done anything for me.

Same. Remember the Cosby show about Rudy’s first period? Mom wanted a special thing and Rudy would have none of it. I totally identified with her and was puzzled why anyone would want to do so.

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4 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Nope- not unless buying her her own heating pad counts as special, LOL. 


Now that’s a good idea. I completely forgot about that, thanks! 
By the way, the journal is something she’s been wanting for a long time anyway. 😉

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I offered both kids an outing. One accepted and we got soup dumplings together. The other declined.

I did tease them that I'd throw a big blow-out bash, a surprise party with balloons and themed games, but that was in good humor because they knew that there was no way I'd do that.

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My dd is another one who would have hated any kind of a fuss. Plus, she was almost 15 when she got it and had been stocked up on supplies and The Care and Keeping of You book and all that stuff for years at that point - so when it finally showed up, it wasn't that exciting of an event.😁

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I took each of them out to lunch with me, their choice. Going out to eat was fairly exciting in my house, lol, as was having mom to yourself for a while (I only have two but we were almost always together). It's a good time to give some one-on-one attention, and the level of fuss can be suited to the kid. Oldest had a rough go of it, and I just said, when you're feeling better I'll take you to lunch, just the two of us. Youngest had a better time of it but absolutely remembered that her sister got lunch out of the deal 😄

If the timing works, it might be nice to give her the journal then - look what came in! And it gives you a bit of time to look at it together and talk about it. 

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I did something for my niece/goddaughter. I sent her a box of basic but nicely packaged skin care items and some other stuff (I don't think any "supplies" iykwim),  and wrote her a note sort of welcoming her to womanhood. I think she thought it special. Her dad (my brother) was going through chemo at the time, IIRC, so reaching out with a little extra care seemed appropriate.  

Didn't do the same for my own daughter and wish I had, in a low-key way. 

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12 hours ago, itsheresomewhere said:

No.  My child would have hated it and been mortified.  

My mom got me a balloon. A big RED mylar balloon. I was mortified. 

5 hours ago, Chris in VA said:

I did something for my niece/goddaughter. I sent her a box of basic but nicely packaged skin care items and some other stuff (I don't think any "supplies" iykwim),  and wrote her a note sort of welcoming her to womanhood. I think she thought it special. Her dad (my brother) was going through chemo at the time, IIRC, so reaching out with a little extra care seemed appropriate.  

Didn't do the same for my own daughter and wish I had, in a low-key way. 

Now this seems okay! Some more "grown up" skin stuff. I remember one summer before junior high my grandmother of all people got me this neat gift basket type thing of young teen stuff - like teen spirit deodorant, oxy-clean wipes, a brush, hair spray, etc. (it came prepackaged, she didn't put it together) and I loved it. 

But my DD who is almost 10 wouldn't be ready for that, but she is likely to get her cycle sometime in the next year I think. For her I think taking her out for ice-cream or to starbucks, just us, not to "celebrate" but just to have some time together one on one would be appreciated. Something subtle so the whole family doesn't realize what is going on. aka, not a giant red balloon!

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I don't think anything really special. I had bought a first period kit at Target (on clearance, haha) at some point in the year before she started and gave that to her. I think it was mostly supplies with a few fun things thrown in. 

I probably took her out for ice cream or something, because I always want ice cream when my period starts.

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9 hours ago, SKL said:

We didn't.  Just made sure I was very available so they could ask questions and stuff.  I do let them pick their own favorite kind of pads etc.  Some of them fit and feel better than others for their size.

Timely topic. Any recommendations on brands? Dd wears size 10 girls clothes. So far this week I’ve bought 3 kinds of disposable pads and a set of reusable pads but they are all large and uncomfortable. I never wore anything with wings but now that is all that’s available. I eventually bought pantyliners but I don’t think they will be absorbent enough. 

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5 minutes ago, Acorn said:

Timely topic. Any recommendations on brands? Dd wears size 10 girls clothes. So far this week I’ve bought 3 kinds of disposable pads and a set of reusable pads but they are all large and uncomfortable. I never wore anything with wings but now that is all that’s available. I eventually bought pantyliners but I don’t think they will be absorbent enough. 

Did you try teen-sized pads? They are narrower and shorter. There are two main options, U by Kotex Teen pads and Always Radiant Teen pads.

 

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48 minutes ago, Acorn said:

Timely topic. Any recommendations on brands? Dd wears size 10 girls clothes. So far this week I’ve bought 3 kinds of disposable pads and a set of reusable pads but they are all large and uncomfortable. I never wore anything with wings but now that is all that’s available. I eventually bought pantyliners but I don’t think they will be absorbent enough. 

Both of my kids prefer this:

https://smile.amazon.com/Kotex-Fitness-Regular-Absorbency-Fragrance-Free/dp/B01N4Q4EZZ/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=kotex+u+sport&qid=1579108325&sr=8-1

My larger girl uses them with period undies to prevent any mistakes from getting all over.

My smaller girl likes these undies ("boyshorts"), as she says they are the only ones that fit the pads for her.  (She wears about a size 8 or 10 undies.)

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07CNJR9D7/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

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We do a "Welcome to the Menses Club" basket. Items include favorite chocolate, bottle Midol, heating pad, fuzzy socks, face masks, sanitary supplies (several different kinds to try), related book, and the much anticipated small doll made entirely from pads and tampons. We have also included a membership card before. We did this for my little sister (20 yrs my junior), both my daughters (each age 12), and a couple of my sister's friends who loved the idea and wanted one too. No embarrassment here as no boys are allowed to the gift giving, and it's private. Girls can tell about it if they want. My oldest daughter told her friends, and they all thought it was cool and wished they had one. Youngest daughter has no desire to share that she started with anyone. The doll is a big hit because it's so hard and weird to make. Lots of laughs.

We have since discovered period panties. I would now included a couple pair of those. Thinx has a great starter box for tweens.

ETA Our approach was more along the lines of survival-gear rather than celebration. Lol!

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There was no need to do something special.  We read through the American Girl about me Books (or what ever they were titled) and when my daughter came home with samples and coupons from the period talk at school she was with me to get everything she would need.

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My dd started young (9 1/2). She was well aware of the whole process (having followed me into the bathroom her whole life, and having studied the human body, including reproduction, twice by that point (once listening in with her older brother, and once again on her own). So, she knew what was happening, there was no fear and no fanfare. It was more along the lines of, "Wow. That's unexpected, but okay. Here's a couple pads for now. Let's go to the store and get what you need." I mentioned that some moms and daughters do special things to celebrate the girl becoming a woman, but (since she was only 9) she thought that was really weird. 

 

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9 hours ago, OH_Homeschooler said:

 I probably took her out for ice cream or something, because I always want ice cream when my period starts.

And whenever anyone else's period starts . . . 

8 hours ago, Acorn said:

Timely topic. Any recommendations on brands? Dd wears size 10 girls clothes. So far this week I’ve bought 3 kinds of disposable pads and a set of reusable pads but they are all large and uncomfortable. I never wore anything with wings but now that is all that’s available. I eventually bought pantyliners but I don’t think they will be absorbent enough. 

Kotex Tween. 

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I will do something for my DD. She is eagerly anticipating puberty (ha!) and would appreciate it as something special that we will do alone together. I did get her a first period kit from Ruby Love.  https://www.rubylove.com/first-period-kit?gclid=Cj0KCQiAjfvwBRCkARIsAIqSWlNJhpsKH_QmYHgMHCEwQ8LhCEY14iZfJEdkBeb8JXEtZHRWk58R4K0aAk6jEALw_wcB

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There was a thread on this a year or two back and one poster mentioned that she bought a very beautiful purse as a gift for her daughter. I liked it because it gives an excuse to begin carrying the purse wherever you go and does not draw attention to the fact that she'd started carrying a purse to interesting places like the bathroom when she's out at a restaurant.

Multiple posters mentioned sharing the secret chocolate stash.

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Have a First Moon party!  (How has nobody linked that video? "Periods don't have glitter")

OR 

Line up a bunch of shows to watch.  Watch every sitcom episode that deals with this subject.  The episode of Blackish where Diane gets her period is good.

 

I'm actually kidding.  My child would not have liked anything like this.  She just wanted midol and supplies.  This is when she stole my microwaveable heating thing.

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Gosh, I never even told my mother I'd gotten my period, just grabbed some tampons out of the closet. I would have certainly been mortified if she had somehow found out and made a big deal of it. 

She did ask me a few years afterward if I'd gotten it yet. 🤪

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I can't imagine trying to do something special.  I hate that time of the month like I can't hate anything else in my life and if I could save my daughters from it I would.

With DD24, I was like ok, here's the stuff.  That was it.  I mean, I shared information, etc.  But yeah, in my world, it's not something to be celebrated, only something to be tolerated.

 

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On 1/15/2020 at 9:23 AM, Acorn said:

Timely topic. Any recommendations on brands? Dd wears size 10 girls clothes. So far this week I’ve bought 3 kinds of disposable pads and a set of reusable pads but they are all large and uncomfortable. I never wore anything with wings but now that is all that’s available. I eventually bought pantyliners but I don’t think they will be absorbent enough. 

An expensive-ish option but thinx brand period underwear can work pretty well on its own and their btwn (I think they spell it?) line for girls has small sizes.

My older dd uses them, most often along with tampons. I use them by themselves most of the time. I got some for my younger dd who hasn't started yet but could any day.

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