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Æthelthryth the Texan

What did you want to be when you grew up?

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1 minute ago, Patty Joanna said:

The library had a lot of personal discovery stuff, but also a ton of info about jobs, what it takes to do them, quizzes you can take to hone in on good matches, and then about the local job market, as well as the national/international job market, cost-of-living in different parts of the country/world, so you can figure out where you need/want to live to do the kind of job you want to do and how much you will have to earn to live there.  A good job counselor could help with this in about 1/8 the amount of time but I had more time than money at that point in my life.  :0). (Kina like now. haha)

Anyway, this was a long time ago, and most of what I did could probably be done online.  I don't remember allll the specifics of what I came up with but one major thing that was really helpful was to find the scope of the kind of job I wanted to do.  I didn't reallly care about the *job* per se but the characteristics common to a cluster of jobs.  The net of it was that my profile came up that I needed to work in a Fortune 500 company (but not in the top 300 of them) because I like having a good size of "the pie" as my responsibility--not too big (like please don't make me do accounting, which rules out entrepreneur and small business), but also not too skinny a slice ("you will be in charge of the marketing message that goes out every third Tuesday to people who buy our products using a debit card at Target").  I ended up with my Most Wonderful Job (at that time) because I knew I had to look at a certain size company (around 2500 people) at a job that involved both making decisions and doing actual work (not managing managers, which is where I ended up 8 years later and hated it) and I knew it had to be in one of the two cities I was willing to live in, which narrowed the field (very helpful!). There's more to it, but that's the main thing I remember being super helpful.  

One of the results of all this research was that I figured out I was going to need and MBA, so I started that program.  The professor who became my mentor and then my friend had done a ton of research on job/personallity matching.  He looked at what he considered to be three prime motivators and then matched career/job satisfaction with the prime motivator.  People have a prime and often a secondary motivator, and using this research I job-targeted even more specifically than what I said in the preceding paragraph.  

It was a really interesting time, and this sort of thing made up for a lot of the guidance I had lacked.

 

Thanks for this. I have avoided aptitude type of tests for her, as I've always thought they lack any science but have been trying to get her to look out of the box of *just* what do you want to major in and instead into entry level job requirements for what jobs she thinks would potentially be interesting (although I know that'll change). I definitely do think there is a lot to personality type and job matching. But I actually like the library idea as I think it's often easier to stumble upon something in the library you wouldn't have otherwise looked at than online with targeted searches. It's easier to browse there. The data I know is easier online but I think the core search in the library would be good for her too. 

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Just now, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Thanks for this. I have avoided aptitude type of tests for her, as I've always thought they lack any science but have been trying to get her to look out of the box of *just* what do you want to major in and instead into entry level job requirements for what jobs she thinks would potentially be interesting (although I know that'll change). I definitely do think there is a lot to personality type and job matching. But I actually like the library idea as I think it's often easier to stumble upon something in the library you wouldn't have otherwise looked at than online with targeted searches. It's easier to browse there. The data I know is easier online but I think the core search in the library would be good for her too. 

Look for personality type but ALSO or motivational characteristics.  Some jobs I could do with. my personality traits, talents and so on, but motivation comes from both inside and outside, and that matters. 

Let me give a dumb example, using the three motivational aspects my professor researched:  Power, Achievement and Affiliation.  

Use a specific job as an example:  teaching.  It's the same activity whether online or in person, but the motivation behind each will be different.  If one is motivated by Affiliation (being part of a larger group, purpose, interpersonal interaction), then in-person teaching will be far more satisfying than online teaching.  Online teaching is more aligned with Achievement.  It's one of the interesting things going on with the current experimentation with "working from home"--it works great for some people but not for others, and companies are finding that a mix of the two is probably a good solution for MOST people.  Some people do better with all at the office, and others with all at home, but most people need some of both to stay motivated.

I've taken some jobs where money was the ONLY motivation for doing a good job.  Piece work, that sort of thing.  Because, hey, food heat rent.  But money is a relatively weak motivator.  What I actually found out about myself was that in doing piecework, I could find motivation by doing BETTER piecework than the other people, or doing MORE of it during a shift--Achievement.  That told me something about myself that I used in later life to determine whether a job would be a good fit--I need to have at least some level of achievement.  

I love thinking about this stuff.  It is interesting to me.

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3 minutes ago, Patty Joanna said:

Look for personality type but ALSO or motivational characteristics.  Some jobs I could do with. my personality traits, talents and so on, but motivation comes from both inside and outside, and that matters. 

Let me give a dumb example, using the three motivational aspects my professor researched:  Power, Achievement and Affiliation.  

Use a specific job as an example:  teaching.  It's the same activity whether online or in person, but the motivation behind each will be different.  If one is motivated by Affiliation (being part of a larger group, purpose, interpersonal interaction), then in-person teaching will be far more satisfying than online teaching.  Online teaching is more aligned with Achievement.  It's one of the interesting things going on with the current experimentation with "working from home"--it works great for some people but not for others, and companies are finding that a mix of the two is probably a good solution for MOST people.  Some people do better with all at the office, and others with all at home, but most people need some of both to stay motivated.

I've taken some jobs where money was the ONLY motivation for doing a good job.  Piece work, that sort of thing.  Because, hey, food heat rent.  But money is a relatively weak motivator.  What I actually found out about myself was that in doing piecework, I could find motivation by doing BETTER piecework than the other people, or doing MORE of it during a shift--Achievement.  That told me something about myself that I used in later life to determine whether a job would be a good fit--I need to have at least some level of achievement.  

I love thinking about this stuff.  It is interesting to me.

I love the motivation question. I honestly don't know her primary motivator, except that it is NOT money below a minimal existence. We joke she's like a dragon with a lair as she just saves all her $$$ and doesn't spend. You can ask her if she needs/wants anything and get a nope. Not unless she's outgrown something and then I'd have to point it out. But she is a people pleaser and I think more on the achievement end than she might realize. But not achievement as far as title- I will be surprised if she cares about titles. Rather achievement at cranking out quality, dependable work. 

Earlier this year she told us she wanted to major in accounting, which surprised us (she used to be my #1 math hater, but she now likes it, is proficient, and likes logic, detail and so I could see where accounting would be a good fit).  But then we've always  told her to go for practical if she didn't have a passion, and then she could always go to grad school for something else when she found the something else, because no one cares about undergrad majors anyway (in most cases), they care about grad school. So,  I can see why she thought accounting is the safe way to go. But then she got her grades for this semester and I mean, the kid just blows it out of the park on the humanities stuff. More than one of her instructors wrote some very, very detailed and impressive comments on her final papers for the semester and it made me start prying more. It's one thing for me to think she's an amazing and profound writer for her age, it's another thing when you have outside instructors verify that..... I asked her what she loves and she said I" love writing essays, I love reading, I love reading other people's writing, but I don't want to be a writer (meaning novelist), I am not interested in being a journalist either, but so then what would I do for a job around writing? Seems like switching to English would be a bad major, even though that's what I like?"

 So we've started talking about oh so many fields in which writing enter from technical writing to editing etc. etc. and that every company has to have those skillsets from regulatory to QA departments etc. etc. and that maybe she should go for the Literature or even a Liberal Arts major and then minor in accounting if that's still something she wants as a fallback.........my heart just goes out to her with the indecision. I feel like there is sooooo much unnecessary pressure on kids her age where we live to know exactly what they are going to do. I've written about it several times here. It's like they have to spin an emotional wheel and guess what they are good at at 13/14 and then they are locked into that "track" for life. And I don't mean the college/non-college track, but rather "this degree plan" track to where they aren't even allowed to have outside electives largely. It's all toward a master plan of what the college degree ends up. And then she has the anti-that Mom who thinks it's better to be uncertain and allow yourself discovery and to go with the flow that to have a plotted path. I'm sure she's happy to have supportive Mom, but since her peers all "have a plan" I think it throws it into doubt that it's okay to explore. And change. 

Anyway, thanks for all the insights. I am definitely going to help/point her toward some of this stuff to show her it's okay to NOT know yet, and that finding yourself is sort of a life long thing. Not something you decide in junior high and stick with forever for crying out loud! 

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I wanted to be a teacher and I became a teacher. Then I became a SAHM and now a homeschooling SAHM. 

If I ever reenter the workforce I don't want to go back to teaching. At least not in public schools. Too much politics. I daydream about possibly becoming an IBCLC but that sounds like a lot of work to get there, so we shall see. 

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Secretary\assistant.   I did work my way up to an executive assistant title before taking on my ultimate job title of stay at home mom.

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1 hour ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I love the motivation question. I honestly don't know her primary motivator, except that it is NOT money below a minimal existence.

When you get right down to it, this is true for most people.  Maybe not first crack out of the bottle, but pretty soon.  Even when people think it is about money, it isn't.  It's about what the money represents--power, achievement or affiliation.  :0)

And for the record, I think your daughter sounds really smart to think about the job + avocation of writing in separate buckets.  My sister was very talented in music, and was channeled into a music major....and it kind of killed her love of music.  Turns out she likes to ENJOY music but she could give a rip about tonic scales and deconstructing great compositions.  She just wants to sing.  And in the meantime, she hasn't worked in the music field at all and because of the degree she chose, she didn't get the power-assist to get going in a well-paying career...so she'll work until she's 70.  

If she can do accounting (thank God someone can--I sure can't!), then get the degree...get the job...and write as an avocation, or go back to school on the go-slow plan and take the classes you WANT to because you already *have* a degree.  Or get an MFA.  Or an M.English.  You can do that and work when you have a decent job.  

I'm actually pretty impressed with her line of thinking!  :0)

A married couple I know were both art majors.  The guy switched to computer science so they could have a living wage, but he still creates art in his spare time, and she is getting a masters in a specific sort of art, and is now selling her work, now that her kids are in school.  They found a way to sustain both their lives and their interests....over time.  :0)

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From second grade on, I wanted to be a judge.  Around 4th grade, I added "first woman president" to my career aspirations....

I went to law school and practiced law before kids so I guess I was somewhat on the right track for being a judge.

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19 minutes ago, Pink and Green Mom said:

From second grade on, I wanted to be a judge.  Around 4th grade, I added "first woman president" to my career aspirations....

I went to law school and practiced law before kids so I guess I was somewhat on the right track for being a judge.

Have you seen the John Mulaney bit about having lawyers for parents

If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not perjure myself. 

 

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My first career aspiration was to be a major league baseball player. I could hit a tennis ball SO FAR! But then it turned out girls weren't allowed in little league, so that dream faded. Next was to be an astronaut. That mostly secret plan carried me through an engineering master's degree and my private pilot's license, but by then I could see that I wouldn't be able to make the cut. I got a job in the aviation business and then another. That all worked out well, set me up with retirement savings and paid the bills.

Now I'm starting to think ahead to what I'll do after homeschooling. Who will pay me to do some travel and living overseas as an old lady? Presumably no-one, but maybe I'll get lucky!

 

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6 minutes ago, SusanC said:

My first career aspiration was to be a major league baseball player. I could hit a tennis ball SO FAR! But then it turned out girls weren't allowed in little league, so that dream faded. Next was to be an astronaut. That mostly secret plan carried me through an engineering master's degree and my private pilot's license, but by then I could see that I wouldn't be able to make the cut. I got a job in the aviation business and then another. That all worked out well, set me up with retirement savings and paid the bills.

Now I'm starting to think ahead to what I'll do after homeschooling. Who will pay me to do some travel and living overseas as an old lady? Presumably no-one, but maybe I'll get lucky!

 

An oil company! They like engineers a lot it seems like. 🙂

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6 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

An oil company! They like engineers a lot it seems like. 🙂

Hmmm, that possibility had not crossed my mind. Thanks! Maybe you should be a career counselor!

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23 hours ago, happypamama said:

I always said teacher when people asked, because it was socially acceptable to say that, especially since my dad was a teacher. 

 

My dad was a teacher. All my classmates who has a parent who was a teacher puts that as the career to avoid. Teaching took so much of after school family time that we felt we were 2nd class to our parents’ students . I had to help my dad grade MCQs because he had six classes of Chinese to grade. An ex-classmate did end up being a tenured community college lecturer in logistics management after years working as an engineer.  The rest of us end up as doctors or engineers.

I wanted to be an engineer, then self employed then homemaker. Majority of my cousins are self employed engineers running family businesses so I kind of knew what I was in for. 

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Vague ideas I had over the years include

-train driver - probably because it was the least girly idea I could come up with - it took me forever to get my license and I’m terrified of driving anything bigger than my Subaru Forester 

- professional trampolinist or circus star in a world where those career choices involved a lot more fame or money than they actually do 

- puppy mill owner - not that I thought of it like that but I had all these plans drawn up of all the dog breeds I wanted to own complete with exercise schedules and feeding regimes

more seriously and long term vet or writer/poet.  
 

neither of these was really encouraged although not outright forbidden so I did what girls in my family did and went to business college and became a secretary.  I didn’t even apply for either in university I put down speech therapist and occupational therapist because that’s what other girls in the class chose.  I did always want to homeschool so the plus side of being an admin is starting work young meant we paid for a fair percentage of our house pre kids.  Although the other work options might have given more flexibility my executive function skills are stretched managing what I have without throwing work in as well.  I stopped writing when the kids were born.

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11 hours ago, Arcadia said:

 

My dad was a teacher. All my classmates who has a parent who was a teacher puts that as the career to avoid. Teaching took so much of after school family time that we felt we were 2nd class to our parents’ students . I had to help my dad grade MCQs because he had six classes of Chinese to grade. An ex-classmate did end up being a tenured community college lecturer in logistics management after years working as an engineer.  The rest of us end up as doctors or engineers.

I wanted to be an engineer, then self employed then homemaker. Majority of my cousins are self employed engineers running family businesses so I kind of knew what I was in for. 

I can see that -- now. I think as a kid I didn't really see that. I have no idea how he did lesson plans, lol, except that he taught high school math, so after a few years, it maybe didn't vary a lot, or maybe his planning period or after school time were enough. No idea. Also, in the evenings, I can remember him correcting papers and while we were doing homework, and he was available when we needed him, plus since he came home at 3:30, he was around a lot in the evenings, moreso than my boyfriend's dad, who was an engineer who got home around 6. I expect that's probably very different from an elementary teacher or even a high school English teacher with lengthy papers and books to read. 

 

Plus, my maternal grandmother was a pioneer in the education of special needs kids, and my mom was a homeschool/co-op teacher, so I guess I figured teaching was in my blood.  But now as a homeschool teacher, I see the time that it takes in my own education and prep work. 

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I've been on a winding path as far as career aspirations and jobs. I wanted to be a vet as I loved animals. I was told (and it was true then and still is) that you needed marks of 90% and above, stress on the above part. I was a high 80% student, so I ditched the vet dream, enjoyed having pets, and eventually pursued Human Kinetics. It was a perfect fit for me. I loved the human anatomy and physiology, sports courses, coaching and sport injury treatment. I also loved languages and travel, and was able to add in many language courses and exchanges throughout my undergrad.

When I graduated I got a job at a sports school in Norway teaching in Norwegian. After 3 years I needed a change, and returned to Canada to pursue a Master's degree and Bachelor of Education. Worked in a national physical activity association office and loved the administrative side of promoting healthy, active living. Took a job at a children's hospital in the field of injury prevention and loved that as well. 

I homeschooled my 4 dc for 15 years and went back to university and eventually got a job in the same children's hospital, this time as a research assistant with clinical trials. I love meeting with the patients, and I love the precision and organization of a clinical trial. I'm not the best at being "error free" and at my age I'm thinking that this may not be the best fit for me. I want to spend more time outdoors again. 

I may look into Forest Schools, or outdoor education again in the future, as I'm moving to the mountains of Colorado!! 

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3 minutes ago, wintermom said:

I've been on a winding path as far as career aspirations and jobs. I wanted to be a vet as I loved animals. I was told (and it was true than and still is) that you needed marks of 90% and above, stress on the above part. I was a high 80% student, so I ditched the vet dream, enjoyed having pets and eventually pursued Human Kinetics. It was a perfect fit for me. I loved the human anatomy and physiology, sports courses, coaching and sport injury treatment. I also loved languages and travel, and was able to add in many language courses and exchanges throughout my undergrad.

When I graduated I got a job at a sports school in Norway teaching in Norwegian. After 3 years I needed a change, and returned to Canada to pursue a Master's degree and Bachelor of Education. Worked in a national physical activity association office and loved the administrative side of promoting healthy, active living. Took a job at a children's hospital in the field of injury prevention and loved that as well. 

I homeschooled my 4 dc for 15 years and went back to university and eventually got a job in the same children's hospital, this time as a research assistant with clinical trials. I love meeting with the patients, and I love the precision and organization of a clinical trial. I'm not the best at being "error free" and at my age I'm thinking that this may not be the best fit for me. I want to spend more time outdoors again. 

I may look into Forest Schools, or outdoor education again in the future, as I'm moving to the mountains of Colorado!! 

You're moving to Colorado?! 

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2 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

You're moving to Colorado?! 

Yes! This summer. I'm so excited. We'll be there for at least 4 years, possibly more.

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On 1/10/2020 at 10:16 PM, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

 

What did you want to be? 

I'm one of those rare people who both always knew what I wanted to be and realized that...dream? wish? goal? Whatever it was, I managed to make it happen.

For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a teacher. I was rather shy and mousy and definitely a follower, but whenever we played school as a kid I was the teacher. It was natural to me and to the friends I was playing with. Kathy is the teacher. It was the only time while playing with friends that I ever took charge.

OTOH, having a single working mother and having friends with mothers who stayed home, I also wanted to be a sahm. The difficulty of being both a teacher and a sahm never occurred to me.

I went straight to college after high school and became a teacher. I taught for 15 years. I got pregnant 3 years after we got married, and we decided I would stay home with the baby. The plan was for me to go back to work once he started school. In a very cool twist of fate, before he even reached school age we made the decision to homeschool. 

So, I not only got to be both a teacher and a sahm, eventually I got to be both at the same time thanks to our decision to homeschool. 

I realize I'm unusual in that  knew what career I wanted from a very young age.

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I wanted to be an astronaut.  This stayed with me through middle school, but I realized technology was not advancing as fast as I thought it might (syfi and all....).  Then in high school, I wanted to be a nurse. I did really well in academics, but the clinical rotations were awful for me.  To my credit, I was really young...graduated high school at 17, went to work that summer then school in the fall.  I did not have enough life experience to process clinical rotations so I left that program 3 semesters short of graduation.  I did get a bachelors in political science with an emphasis on criminal justice.  However, I married a man whose job moved him every 3-5 years (and this was before computers, work anywhere with an IT set up).  And I homeschooled for 20 years

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19 minutes ago, wintermom said:

Yes! This summer. I'm so excited. We'll be there for at least 4 years, possibly more.

I know you said you want to be outdoors more, so this might not be helpful, but- in the clinical trials arena,  Covance and several other CROs do a lot of hiring out Colorado. It's prime location for CRAs and Research Coordinators because you're easy to west coast, but companies are not paying taxes like they do hiring people that live in CA. 

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1 minute ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I know you said you want to be outdoors more, so this might not be helpful, but- in the clinical trials arena,  Covance and several other CROs do a lot of hiring out Colorado. It's prime location for CRAs and Research Coordinators because you're easy to west coast, but companies are not paying taxes like they do hiring people that live in CA. 

Good to know. Thanks! Covance was one of the companies involved in the clinical trials I was trained for. That and a couple other big ones based in CA. I don't know if I'll be able to work right away when I get to the US, though. And I want time to have fun and enjoy the mountains! 😉

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This is a fun thread.

starting in the 5th grade, I wanted to be an archeologist. I was pretty serious about this for several years. I would read related National Geographic articles, and I loved to visit historical sites where I could observe digs in action. Sometime in high school, I decided that I wanted to be a doctor. I took every science class I could in high school. I started college as pre-med, but the second semester of organic chemistry did me in. Plus I met my now husband and decided that I really didn’t want to be in school for another 8yrs. (Couldn’t afford it either). While in college I had a job working at the on-campus child care center, and loved it. I changed my major to Early Childhood Education and got teaching certification. I graduated and after a couple of years realized that working at daycares and private pre-schools paid next to nothing, so I started teaching public school. 
I have been teaching in one form or another for 28 years.

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On 1/10/2020 at 9:16 PM, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Back in the day, before kids and marriage, what did you think you would be when you grew up as a teenager, and what did you really end up doing? 

Katie's thread made me think of this. That and watching my dd17 process majors and job choices. I keep telling her she likely won't even have heard of the job she ends up with.

In high school I wanted to be a large animal vet- equine to be precise. And then I had the world's worst high school chemistry teacher and experience and decided that was not for me because everyone kept telling me how vital chemistry was so I was d-o-n-e. I started college as a Psych major because I had an awesome Psychology teacher in high school and planned on getting my Masters and then whatever the license is (I forget), but the minute I took my first Anthropology class I was hooked. So I changed majors. Then I went to grad school to be a Physical Anthropologist but then changed programs and universities and switched to Infectious Disease when I learned about the program (after seeing a commercial of all things), and that's what my graduate degree'sr in. Well Public Health and Infectious Disease. Anyway, it was a long winding road. And I ended up somehow winding through research, pharma companies, and then oncogenomics for a Ginormous Research Hospital as jobs. I never was a Psychologist. Or an Anthropologist. 

And now I'm a homeschooling mom/stay home wife at home with kids all the time and happy as a clam, which is the last thing on earth I'd have thought I'd end up as at 17, or 27 or even 35, LOL. Best laid plans. 🙂

What did you want to be? 


An incredibly liberal politician - can't even make this stuff up.

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A professional soccer player.  I made the pool for youth national teams but never made the final team.  I played a year of college before injuries got to me.  

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On 1/11/2020 at 4:38 PM, regentrude said:

Age 4-11: Pirate. Yes, seriously. Eventually I realized that wasn't a viable career choice.

12-16 opera singer and/or writer. My mom was an opera singer and professor for voice at the conservatory and said no. In a different system, I would have majored in literature. In my communist country, these highly sought after majors were reserved for kids whose parents were members of the communist party. Mine weren't. But there wasn't any run on physics. So I became a physicist.

I have been singing as a hobby all my life, but I was resentful until my forties that I didn't have the chance to find out whether I would have made it professionally. Then I finally made my peace with it. 

I had been writing since childhood, but after our emigration to the US, I wasn't able to write at all for about ten years - until something finally clicked. Now I get to write pretty seriously, while having a day job as physics professor. My second book is coming out this spring.

 

 

Regentrude, I suspect that you would be a very interesting person to be sat next to at a dinner party.

 

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Not sure I ever grew up, but ...

When I was a kid, right up to age 19, I wanted to be a teacher.  I thought maybe a nurse too for a while, but when I went to college at 16 I was pretty clear on being a special ed teacher.  I had a dream to teach kids with reading problems and develop the ultimate reading program and help end illiteracy worldwide.

By 19 I figured out that teachers were (at least then) not really respected and didn't have the independence needed to do what I had envisioned.  I still wanted to fix reading problems / illiteracy, but I figured I would need to start my own school in order to develop my ideas, and that would require lots of money.  My mom was then able to finally talk me into going to law and business school (she had been working on me since I was little).  Figured that would be a way to make the money needed to start my school.

By law school graduation, I was deep in debt and far away from any hope of starting anything, but I took a job at a toy company with the intention of developing educational toys.  As soon as I started, the company's controller and accountant quit and I, being an MBA, was asked to take on that role.  Product development eventually fell off my list of responsibilities.  After some business upheaval, I left and joined a CPA firm in the tax department.  Pretty soon I was in the international tax field doing things that weren't even remotely related to kids.  But I did always put in many hours doing volunteer work with schools / literacy related organizations.

13 years later, I adopted my kids and quit my international tax job.  I went full-time in a business I had co-founded years earlier as a mostly silent partner.  That's what I'm doing now.  My main job is consulting and accounting for community development entities.  The business also develops real estate.

As far as my original dream, I haven't really been that into it in recent years.  I guess my kids have satisfied some of the need to make a difference.  Or maybe I'm just too busy.  I do still have some involvement with children's charities, including one that I co-founded many years ago.  Maybe as my kids get more independent, I will get more interested in literacy related work.  Though, I have observed that there has been a lot of progress in recent decades, so my original ideas are largely outdated or superfluous.

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In age order ascending:

Olympic gymnast - abandoned when I was too afraid to do a backhandspring

astronomer - abandoned when I discovered astronomers only look at  the stars through telescopes like 3 weeks a year and spend the rest of the time doing math

archaeologist - abandoned, similarly, when I discovered archaelogists don't spend all year travelling and digging up old cities

editor - abandoned when I found out how little they make and how hard it is to get a job

high school english teacher - abandoned when I student taught for several weeks.  I lasted through the first practice (6 weeks) because it was a highly regimented boys' school and they were well behaved, mostly, because they were afraid of their actual teachers and the headmaster.  Second practice I told myself before every class that I could just walk down the stairs, walk out the door, get the bus home, buy a flight back to the states (I was in NZ).  One day I did just this and never went back.  I was the world's worst teacher.

what I do, besides mothering and housewifing, is run a small business online making fabric labels for seamstresses and name tags for clothing and the like.  In retrospect it makes sense; there's a lot of problem solving, which I like and am good at, and there's a small amount of graphic design - I was always good at art and this is like very easy art.  But really it's mostly problem solving - not innovation, exactly, but sort of looking at the market or a situation or a technical difficulty and thinking of solutions.

I am good at tutoring and grading papers; I did grade papers for Pearson for a while online, like state standardized tests and the ACT writing section and stuff like that.  If it were geared more toward actual constructive feedback or even carefully given scores, I would have been even better at it, but it was really more just looking at a 4 page paper for 2 minutes (literally), scanning for keywords and transitions and complex sentences, and guessing a grade.  Handwriting and response length were better indicators of an "accurate" (read: matching other graders) score than anything else.  Scoring the younger grades's responses was pretty fun, though - you'd be surprised (maybe not) at the number of different ways 4th graders can come up with to spell "squirrel."  the winner, far and away, well past "squirrel" itself, was "squarl."  (they were from Virginia)

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Ooh, I remember that at one point I wanted to be a translator, like a really high falutin' one, who translated serious international political conferences and stuff.  I wanted at the time to know everything, be involved in important things, but not have any responsibility for doing anything.  Translator seemed like a good bet.

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On 1/11/2020 at 11:05 AM, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I had the same lack of preparation. In my/my family's circles it was mostly assumed all girls/women would be working women and when you got married and had kids they'd go to daycare or have a nanny, and it would just work itself out perfectly like any other job skill. It was definitely devalued, or at least undervalued, as something on the side of the career, but everything valued was career and that came first. Even my grandmother, who had done the SAHM thing until her youngest graduated high school never really mentioned the value of wife/mom. It was just more "this is how it is now and those days are of the past." 

Sometimes I wonder if that's part of why my Mom had such a huge issue/opposition to homeschooling. I am an only child, and she is the type of Mom who was always glad to answer "What's Æthylthryth up to these days?" because there was always some impressive thing to say about either my school stuff or then my career. Her friends were/are all mostly of the braggy type too. At least the ones who have kids- a lot of them were uber career women and didn't.......but with the competitive friends, now all she can answer is  just "she's home with the kids homeschooling." And she only happily admitted the homeschooling part lately when she found out some of my Dad's out of state relatives who are MDs have wives who all homeschool their kids. Well THEN it was acceptable. 🙄but still not brag worthy. She can't say any of the grandkids are on the honor roll or the school play or whatever. Youngest is in ballet and I guess she brought it up to one of her friends and they informed her our studio wasn't "competitive" enough to churn out pre-professional or whatever. Insert the biggest eyeroll EVER here because i am not looking to churn out a professional dancer. I am just letting a little girl enjoy dancing and being around friends. I will admit I got pretty snarky when my Mom called to tell me that like it was some sort of revelation. Um, that's WHY we are going there, LOL. 

Anyway, I hope I do a better job with all of my kids of emphasizing the importance of family over career. The career should support the family. Not overshadow or replace it. 

 

My mom is the same way, it drives me nuts.  She loves me, and is proud of me, and all, but what she's most proud of is the business DH and I run, not the fact that I'm A. still married after almost 20 years, eclipsing pretty much everyone we know or have known and B. have 7 kids and C. homeschool/ed them.  

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I wanted to be either a foreign correspondent, or join the navy.  I didn't do either, although I've dabbled in writing over the years and lived abroad in some interesting places.  I didn't have a passion to become a wife or a mom, but I wasn't against falling in love.  I never even dreamed I'd end up homeschooling my children!  I don't think I was very good or natural at being a homemaker, but I did love being a SAHM with my kids.

 

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6 hours ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

Regentrude, I suspect that you would be a very interesting person to be sat next to at a dinner party.

 

Sometimes I play a little game in my head called Dinner Party Guest List.  Sometimes I play rounds of Invitees from History, Invitees from Literature, Invitees from Christendom, Contemporary Invitees, and Invitees from The Well Trained Mind Boards.  She makes my list. I have other lists.

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I always wanted to be a vet.  Worked for vets all through high school then somehow just didn't go to vet school.

Married a rancher and now I "work" cattle, branding, vaxxing, ear marking, etc.

Train/start horses and driving ponies.

Responsible for what feels like every cat in our county.

Raising diva silkies.

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I wanted to be an elementary school teacher.  Switched to Home Economics when schools in the area started closing.  Got my teaching in at home.  🙂  

Dh has his own business.  I am bookkeeper, HR, marketing and more.  Wasn't on my idea list, but  was brought up to be a helpmate, so that's how I ended up here.  I am finding it challenging and love learning new things, so it's worth it.

Edited by Tina

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