nm

[summerreading]

thanks

Edited December 28, 2019 by summerreading

[school17777]

I’d say in this case, too analytical, not slow processing.

I have two people in my family slow at making decisions.  One is too analytical like you describe; the other is slow processing because that particular child does not process multiple directions at one time.

[shinyhappypeople]

I vote for "too analytical."  Slow processing affects everything all the time, except for tasks that are done so much it's second nature (and even then...).

[domestic_engineer]

To answer the question "What can you do about it?", I'd just reduce the number of decisions he has to make.  So for breakfast, make a meal plan ahead of time (Monday - Eggs, Tuesday - Cereal, etc).  After a set period, re-evaluate how that plan is doing and re-adjust as necessary.  When making the meal plan, he can be as analytical as he wants (I need protein on Monday, a light meal will do fine on Tuesday etc).  But once the plan is made, he just needs to commit to executing the plan until re-evaluation/tweaking time.

If he realizes that he's taking too long to make a decision, maybe he gives himself a deadline.  "I have 5 min to solve this problem on my own; if I can't get it by then, I need to move on and revisit it later."

Just some ideas from an over-thinker .....

EDITED TO ADD:  At some point in his life, he's going to realize that the wisdom of the idea  "Good, Fast or Cheap.  Choose 2; you can't achieve all three."  Right now, it sounds like he has the luxury of time to think -and overthink- solutions.  Maybe it'll work itself out as he goes through life.

Edited December 27, 2019 by domestic_engineer

[PeterPan]

Has he had evals to get you any data? Why are you asking? These are questions you answer with psych evals, not guessing on forums. You won't like the real answers. He probably has low processing speed AND anxiety AND interoception issues. If you don't realize what you're feeling (interoception), then it's really hard to know you're hungry or to know how you feel about the foods, what you like. So then you sit there going I don't know, I don't know, because you don't like what you like (an emotion, interoceptive awareness). But the 30 scenarios thing is anxiety and it's getting compounded by low processing speed.

But sure, get evals, get data, get it sorted out. Sounds like he could use some work on interoception (see Kelly Mahler's stuff) and some cognitive strategies for his anxiety. He could make plans to deal with his most challenging scenarios. Breakfast comes every day, so he could have a plan.

[PeterPan]

6 hours ago, domestic_engineer said:

I'd just reduce the number of decisions he has to make.

So I'm just gonna play devil's advocate here and say that running from the problem is not the answer. If he doesn't know what he wants, he needs to become more interoceptively aware so he CAN know what he likes. If MOM makes a menu and MOM schedules his life, then he's not growing in independence to solve his problems. Then you get kids who are 16, 18, 30, 40 and literally don't know what they want for breakfast.

So the answer is pragmatic, but it's temporary. You have to intervene on the underlying disabilities. The best menu will be the one HE creates when he actually realizes how he feels about this. But if he has interoceptive deficits, that can take a couple years to get to. It's not like it's oh boom, did this curriculum. It's a process of growth. So the supports are right, but to transfer and get it independent we have to go deeper.

Edited December 28, 2019 by PeterPan

[domestic_engineer]

@PeterPan Yes - you're right that the end goal is for *him* to know himself and for *him* to realize that reducing the number of decisions he has to make is one way to deal with the issue.  I thought that; I just didn't write it out. 😉.

However, I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that this is running form the problem, but rather it is scaffolding.   BUT I'm also assuming this is "just" an over thinker and not an underlying disability, which seems to be where your line-of-thinking is based upon.  While he works on learning to make decisions in a timely manner, preferably ones that he has complete control, OP could be making other decisions for him -- say the ones that require her involvement.   In the example of menus, he'd have to, at a minimum, get his mom's OK on it (not to mention having someone buy the food ahead of time).