Updated: My Fail for today (subtitled: self-realization)

[RootAnn]

Update: I made it through an Open MRI this afternoon. Thanks for all the tips & positive vibes.

Original post:

So, I was scheduled for an MRI this morning for the headaches & arm weakness I've experienced this year. I haven't been worried about it at all. Did all the questionnaires over the phone, online, and this morning in person. Paid my co-pay, got all ready on the person slide, ear plugs in, cool-o visor over my the top half of me head, blanket over me because I was cold, and slid into the machine.

At which point I started having trouble breathing & my heart rate went up fast. My brain told my body that there wasn't enough oxygen even though the machine was clearly open to air. So, before I could completely go ballistic, I hit the panic button & she pulled me out.

I realized that I am claustrophobic.

Now, this is a fail because had I thought about it enough, I would know this. I get this same feeling in closed up water slide tubes, so I should have known to answer "yes" to the claustrophobia question. But I didn't. So now I have to figure out if I want to try again 1) with "Something to calm me down" (pill) and/or 2) a more open machine which will mean a 1 1/2 hr+ drive vs 30 min and another driver assuming I go with meds to keep my anxiety in check. And I only have a limited # of days before my deductible kicks over for 2020. Right now, my mind says, "Nope. Not even going to try again."

Learned something new about myself today...

Edited December 31, 2019 by RootAnn
Updated

[Bambam]

I'm sorry. I'm right there with you. I hope you can find something that works before the end of the year. I'd be very tempted to try their happy pills. 

[Miss Tick]

Wait, that isn't a fail, that is outside of your control. Kind of as if a meteorite had smashed the machine right before your appointment. A personal failing is more along the lines of the time I gritted my teeth, went to the DMV, stood in line, got a number, stood in another line, finally got up to the counter, and then was informed by a confused employee that my license wouldn't expire for two more years. Failure to read the expiration date! Still don't know how that happened, but clearly something I could have avoided.

Sorry you have to go through it all again.

[klmama]

((Hugs))  I hope never to need an MRI, but I'm glad to know there's an open MRI location 15 minutes from my house.  I don't know if I could handle the tube. 

[Tiberia]

You have not failed. You have discovered something important about yourself. I believe this can be managed and you can do your MRI. You are not alone. I am a totally non-anxious, non-claustrophobic person in all areas of life... except for MRI machines. I take the pill, and it helps a lot. I realize that this is an area where I struggle, so I work on breathing control, dealing with pre-anxiety, etc. The MRI place usually has a pill you can take, or if that isn't enough, have your doctor prescribe something stronger. It truly makes a big difference. And, I would also consider going the extra miles to get to the more open machine. Yes, you will need someone to drive you. I would do whatever it takes to get the MRI you need, and get some answers for your health issues. Good luck with this!

ETA: If you do take a sedative, you will feel relaxed and drowsy for the rest of the day, so don't plan anything that takes a lot of physical exertion or brain power afterwards. Snuggle down and binge watch something on tv while you doze off. It can become a mandatory self-care day. 

Edited December 23, 2019 by Tiberia

[PrincessMommy]

Not a fail - just self- realization.  

Take the pill.  That is what my sis and aunt do and it works fine.   Take it as soon as you arrive for the appt. or about 10min before arriving.   The main hassle with that is that you will have to have someone take you. 

[PeterPan]

Oh dear! Around here open MRIs are the norm because many people feel that way. You deserve to have the open so just make it happen. The meds sound like a good idea. Fwiw I kept my eyes TIGHTLY SHUT through mine, even with the open. Think happy places. 

 

[RootAnn]

Thanks to @StellaM for the prayer advice. I couldn't finish any but the Memorare due to the noise and the effort I had to make to breathe, but it helped the most, IMO.

I took the doc prescribed 5 mg Valium about 30 min before I had the Open MRI (just over an hour away-so closer than I thought!). I think the Valium only made me jitterier, but who knows. Still freaked out, but was able to close my eyes (Thanks @PeterPan), pray, and focus on just breathing until it was over. It sounded like I was in a Star Wars battle...

Strangely, the biggest bonus was the cost at this freestanding place was way less than at the place I went for the regular MRI. Like 7x less copay since we've met our deductible for the year.

I appreciate y'all for chiming in with advice & positive thoughts. 

[PeterPan]

I'm glad you got through it and I hope you get the information you need!

[MercyA]

So glad you were able to get through it! Yeah, Valium and other sedatives just don't do it for me. I get super giggly for a few minutes and then I am just as anxious as before. I often get put under for things other people stay awake for (dental work, needle biopsies, etc.). 

Can they not put adults under like they put kids under for MRI's?

[RootAnn]

I didn't even get giggly. I got snippy at DH because he drove right past the front door of the place after I said, "Here it is" and tried to drive around the building (not possible) thinking we needed another entrance. I don't normally get snippy.

I hate getting put under. I'd rather have that medicine they give that makes you drowsy & mostly forget what is going on while you get it but isn't anaesthesia. I don't remember what it's called (midazolam?) but that's my preference.

[May]

Glad you got through it😊I’ve had a few and keep my eyes closed the whole time and pray🙏🏻

[ScoutTN]

1 minute ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Yay! Glad you made it through. Hope the results are all 👍 too. Happy New Year to you guys! (((hugs)))

This!!