Live entertainment etiquette

[wintermom]

What is the etiquette for live entertainment where you live? Do you see people on their cell phones or other electronic devices at community theatre, children's Christmas concerts, etc.? I have been helping with Front of House at our community theatre and have had to tell people to get off their phones during a children's production. Just tonight I was at a children's high-level violin ensemble Christmas concert and many people were using their phones. With the low lighting in a church or theatre, people texting, browsing, etc. is very distracting, yet there are tons of people of all ages doing this. 

I'm pretty floored, TBH. I thought people knew how to listen to instructions that are always mentioned at the beginning of shows, where we are told to turn off ringers and put away phones. Does anyone else see this trend happening in their areas, or am I in a weird city full of people who don't understand etiquette when they go out to enjoy live entertainment?

[vonfirmath]

Lots of people on their phones at my son's winter concert this week.

 

[iamonlyone]

At our daughter's college Christmas concert (choir with orchestra) the child beside us was on a phone playing games through much of it. The light was very distracting. I didn't notice anyone else on his/her phone.

[SKL]

Not supposed to, and most people around me do not.  Though I have a friend who thinks she is way too important to go off line for a whole hour.  Last night I had to "remind" her multiple times to not text in the middle of a dark theater during a live musical.

[wintermom]

And what is truly annoying, is that the "phone people" sit at or near the front. If they sat at the back, no one would care and they wouldn't bother others. But no, they get a prime seat and then don't watch the event, plus distract others trying to enjoy the performances. 🥶

 

[wintermom]

7 minutes ago, HeighHo said:

There are always people who are using a phone as a pacifier for a child old enough to pay attention to the action on the stage.  Not  much you can do but move so the bright screen isnt preventing you from seeing what's going on.  Nothing like a special effect that is upstaged by the bright screen in front of you.  On the other hand, it beats the large hair dos, at least part of the stage is viewable. 

I haven't been to a concert in the last ten years where the door etiquette was used. Parents just barge in, 'my bad' rather than waiting for the end of an act or song. the doors are left open now, easier to deal with the light level and station safety people when performers are in the aisles.

Oh yes, the late arrivals is pretty bad, too. I attended a house concert a month ago where 2 amazing classical guitarists were performing in a private home. There was a late arrival who didn't bother waiting for a break in the music, as well as a phone ringer going off. Unbelievable!  When there are only 20 people in the audience, these distractions are simply enormous.

The absolute "best" phone ringer I saw recently was during a Kiwanis Music competition. It was during a solo classical guitar student (age about 13) performance (which is already pretty quiet), and the phone was the student's teacher! 😨 

[J-rap]

At more professional venues, I don't see that.  (But usually announcements are made ahead of time regarding phone etiquette.)  At less professional or children's productions, I do see people bring out their phones, but it's usually discreet and it doesn't seem to bother people.  (I remember 20 years ago parents bringing out their cameras in the middle of dance recitals and taking pictures, but it was okay as long as their flash wasn't on.)

The one exception was in our small home town (where we just moved away from)...  At any children's production there, it was getting really bad!  People would stand in the aisles, or noisily stand up after their child performed their piece but still in the middle of a show and walk out (making other people in their row stand up so that they could squeeze out in front of them), etc.  Sometimes I even heard people answer their phone and talk!  It was unbelievable.  The music directors there were good friends of ours, and they'd talk about how parent etiquette in that town had really gone downhill in the past 10 years.  Really strange.  

[wintermom]

I guess with 4 dc in theatre and music, I've experienced too many performances. I've also enjoyed attending "professional" venues, and haven't noticed all that much difference in etiquette. I remember attending a "professional" performance of The Phantom of the Opera in Toronto in 1998, and a man carried his baby out of the production in the middle of the show. Why he was even allowed to bring a baby into the show at all is weird; I'm at a loss. It's about the only thing I remember from the event, though. 😂

Perhaps live theatre and music was never really meant to be a quiet, solomn experience, though. Weren't the original Shakespeare plays full of loud audience laughing, booing and other behaviours that could be seen as rude today? And Joseph Haydn wrote into some of his music loud noises to attempt to wake up the audiences (e.g. The Surprise). 😁

Edited December 16, 2019 by wintermom

[J-rap]

1 hour ago, wintermom said:

I guess with 4 dc in theatre and music, I've experienced too many performances. I've also enjoyed attending "professional" venues, and haven't noticed all that much difference in etiquette. I remember attending a "professional" performance of The Phantom of the Opera in Toronto in 1998, and a man carried his baby out of the production in the middle of the show. Why he was even allowed to bring a baby into the show at all is weird; I'm at a loss. It's about the only thing I remember from the event, though. 😂

Perhaps live theatre and music was never really meant to be a quiet, solomn experience, though. Weren't the original Shakespeare plays full of loud audience laughing, booing and other behaviours that could be seen as rude today? And Joseph Haydn wrote into some of his music loud noises to attempt to wake up the audiences (e.g. The Surprise). 😁

You know, that's true.  It's something to think about.  It's easy to feel judgy about all the unnecessary noise and interruptions.  I'm going to think about this.

Interestingly, last month my dh and ds and I were at a symphony orchestra concert in Chicago.  Someone sneezed during a piece, and then someone else laughed out loud at the sneeze.  The conductor (Riccardo Muti I think?) stopped in the middle of the piece, turned and faced the person who laughed, and scolded him.

 

[Farrar]

With one kid in ballet, one kid in theater, a husband who acts and has a side gig as a theater reviewer for a local publication, I see a TON of performances of all kinds at all levels. In the last week, I saw five shows.

It varies a lot. I would say people at the top levels of performance are pretty good about it. Case in point - I saw the Broadway tour of Come From Away last week. A few preshow selfies were snapped to be like, ooh, we're at the Kennedy Center. But no phones during the performance. People were well behaved. Same at ds's Nutcracker - he's in the Washington Ballet one, so a very big professional one. Lots of preshow selfies, but not a phone out during. As it should be.

At serious local theater, the audiences tend to be hardcore theater goers. End stop. Like, you don't just wander off the street to see a slightly avant garde show at one of our big regional theaters. We're a city, but we're not NYC. It's only arts people. No phones. Occasionally at Constellation, where they encourage photos of the set before the show (if you're in the DC area, Constellation is the best regional theater you've never been to) because they're known for their lush sets, I do see people snapping a photo. But not during the show. At the Shakespeare Theater Company, the ushers still go chastise people who photograph the sets but I rarely see people try it.

Dial it down to community and children's theater level and... yes. Oy. And I can say with certainty that it's gotten worse in the last decade. Like, a LOT worse.

And the thing that I find even worse than the etiquette at the shows is how people are about it on social media. Like, that scene (or worse, that ENTIRE SHOW) that you just posted is copyrighted, first of all. That's not cool. And when I post things my kids have done, I have had friends and extended family be straight up belligerent about my not posting photos. Like, people, it's lovely that you'd like to see BalletBoy on stage with the big ballet. But no, I'm not allowed backstage as a random person at a professional production. And no, I'm not going to pull out my phone and take photos at a professional show. That's RUDE. And not okay. Could I get away with it for one of Mushroom's small local theater level shows? Sure. But I'm not a jerk. And you should stop encouraging me to be. Deal with having the after photos.

[Farrar]

1 hour ago, wintermom said:

Perhaps live theatre and music was never really meant to be a quiet, solomn experience, though. Weren't the original Shakespeare plays full of loud audience laughing, booing and other behaviours that could be seen as rude today? And Joseph Haydn wrote into some of his music loud noises to attempt to wake up the audiences (e.g. The Surprise). 😁

To me though, noises responding to the show - certainly clapping and cheering and laughing - can be part of the experience. A bright light being held up in front of my face in the form of a phone... that's distracting. And it's not for the show. The clapping is for the performers, for the audience. The phone is for that one person and their social media and maybe their special kid in the show.

[wintermom]

11 hours ago, Farrar said:

With one kid in ballet, one kid in theater, a husband who acts and has a side gig as a theater reviewer for a local publication, I see a TON of performances of all kinds at all levels. In the last week, I saw five shows.

It varies a lot. I would say people at the top levels of performance are pretty good about it. Case in point - I saw the Broadway tour of Come From Away last week. A few preshow selfies were snapped to be like, ooh, we're at the Kennedy Center. But no phones during the performance. People were well behaved. Same at ds's Nutcracker - he's in the Washington Ballet one, so a very big professional one. Lots of preshow selfies, but not a phone out during. As it should be.

At serious local theater, the audiences tend to be hardcore theater goers. End stop. Like, you don't just wander off the street to see a slightly avant garde show at one of our big regional theaters. We're a city, but we're not NYC. It's only arts people. No phones. Occasionally at Constellation, where they encourage photos of the set before the show (if you're in the DC area, Constellation is the best regional theater you've never been to) because they're known for their lush sets, I do see people snapping a photo. But not during the show. At the Shakespeare Theater Company, the ushers still go chastise people who photograph the sets but I rarely see people try it.

Dial it down to community and children's theater level and... yes. Oy. And I can say with certainty that it's gotten worse in the last decade. Like, a LOT worse.

And the thing that I find even worse than the etiquette at the shows is how people are about it on social media. Like, that scene (or worse, that ENTIRE SHOW) that you just posted is copyrighted, first of all. That's not cool. And when I post things my kids have done, I have had friends and extended family be straight up belligerent about my not posting photos. Like, people, it's lovely that you'd like to see BalletBoy on stage with the big ballet. But no, I'm not allowed backstage as a random person at a professional production. And no, I'm not going to pull out my phone and take photos at a professional show. That's RUDE. And not okay. Could I get away with it for one of Mushroom's small local theater level shows? Sure. But I'm not a jerk. And you should stop encouraging me to be. Deal with having the after photos.

Yes, the fact that almost everyone has a phone or some kind of electron device, and is 'conditioned" to use it nearly non-stop, means that there are far more capacity for cameras and video taping occurring than 10 - 20 years ago. Plus there are a lot more on-line venues to share the photos and video, and a much higher demand and expectation. And the younger generation has no previous experience of live entertainment "in the olden days" where we would just sit and watch a performance. 

I guess added to the newer culture of live performance, is the inevitable mix of "traditions" or practices from other cultures (e.g., Asia in particular) where they've had high-level personal electronic devices for a lot longer than North America, and they have a zeal for using them. They may not know or care what is rude or courteous for their own child's performance - they know what they like and they have the freedom to do it here in North America. Can't really blame them for that, I guess. It's all part of our growing "global" daily lives. 

[OH_Homeschooler]

On 12/16/2019 at 8:53 AM, J-rap said:

The one exception was in our small home town (where we just moved away from)...  At any children's production there, it was getting really bad!  People would stand in the aisles, or noisily stand up after their child performed their piece but still in the middle of a show and walk out (making other people in their row stand up so that they could squeeze out in front of them), etc.  

 

Last night I was at an elementary school program and there was SO MUCH of this. Not even between songs, DURING songs people were just coming and going. I'd prefer any phone use over that. This program was split into two parts--K-3 and 4-6. There was a half hour break between the two programs so you could leave after the first part was over if you didn't have a kid in 4-6. Well, an entire family who was there for the second half walked in and slowly climbed to their seats right in front of us, while the 3rd graders were in their second song. If you're there for the later show, wait until the later show. Or at least wait until the song is over. 🙄 

Even if you don't go to a lot of music performances, you'd think common courtesy would dictate behavior. You wouldn't show up to a movie an hour early and walk in on the end of an earlier showing, would you? (Wait, don't answer that).  

My older daughter is in her high school choir and the audiences are much better behaved. The choir begins each concert with a reminder of how to behave during the performance. Sad that it needs to be done. And OFC the message doesn't reach the family that ambles in 20 minutes late, again during a song. But most of the crowd is much more courteous compared to what I saw last night. 

[wintermom]

2 hours ago, HeighHo said:

 

I wouldn't generalize that; can't go into specifics but our experience is that professionals are professionals no matter where they are from, and if they are educators they will find a way to educate the audience or they will change the show so that people who want to leave know when the mass exit opportunity is and those who don't know when to applaud have a chance to learn....

Worst I've been at was a performance locally where a guardian did not provide the supervision needed to a young adult in his care. The Principal of that school had to step in; thankfully he was able to de-escalate so a police removal procedure did not have to be done.  The upshot was that a dad stationed in harm's way had no Holiday performance video of his dear child as every second of it was drowned out.  Thank goodness the misguided adult did not think to climb over the seats and had no projectiles, he was happy to yell at the performers, clearly thought he was having an appropriate dialogue. Yeah, my bar is low for local productions involving youth.

by the way, the performers have electronic devices too....sound system, phones as tuners, and assistive devices in some cases.....

 

I don't find that people actually take the time to do the necessary and/or effective education of adult audiences, and they certainly don't follow-up with any sort of consequences. What ways have you seen to education the audience that actually works in settings where there a limited staff/volunteers to attend to the audience's needs and behaviour?

I've seen effective education of school children when they are part of the audience, and often they are much better behaved than adults. It does take time, effort and consequences to educate people to behave in specific ways. 

[wintermom]

4 hours ago, HeighHo said:

 

As part of the opening, the announcer will segue from safety instructions to behavior instructions.   The show is not run without appropriate support staff -- and that's everything here, athletic, scouting, music, dance, drama.  The usual consequence is that only the unsafe behaviors will stop the show, but there is also the consequence that the show will be restructured so that those with limited attention spans can exit even sooner.  A performance not open to the general public may be added in order to include those who cannot behave with the usual etiquette.

 

That's the clincher, isn't it? There is usually no trained Front of House staff or volunteers. People organizing these events are not usually savvy enough about the importance of Audience/House management. They may know dance or music, but they don't know how important it is to manage a House properly. That takes specialized knowledge that not all performers know about. It wasn't until my dc got involved (and therefore me) in community theatre where I started learning how to manage a House. 

[mom2scouts]

We have a very small professional theater in our area and one of their goals is to teach children how to watch live theater. Most of the shows are geared to children and teens and they have a person introduce the show and tell them to put away phones or any snacks and candy because live theater is very different than watching a movie or watching a show in your home. They talk about how there are real live people performing in front of them and it's distracting for the actors to have people doing other things.

DD's dance recital is professionally videotaped and they are very serious about not using phones during the performance. Once we told the people in front of us they needed to put their phone away because the light was shining right in our eyes. Another time, the studio owner's boyfriend, an FBI agent, nearly came to blows with someone in the audience who refused to put their phone away and stop videotaping. Studio owner was a professional dancer who expects to put on a professional quality show and she won't put up with that from anyone!  ETA: Our recital also has volunteers block the doors to only allow people to enter or exit during breaks in the action on stage.

Edited December 18, 2019 by mom2scouts