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DawnM

Two of my students died

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Guys, I worked in inner-city LA for 17 years.  I have been to students' funerals.  It is always sad.  Always.

But this is especially sad.  These two were twins.  The mom lost both kids at once.

I can't even imagine.  

Car accident.  Car cut in half from the crash.  One died on impact Wed night.  The other died late Fri/early Sat after being in a coma.

Tomorrow will be a lot of grief counseling.  It is going to be a. hard few days.

 

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That is utterly heartbreaking for their families and friends. And so much on you during an already emotionally difficult week.  Gentle hugs and prayers for all involved 😞

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Geez, Dawn. Life isn't letting up for you right now. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for that poor, sweet mama. Heartbreaking.

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I’m sorry. I’ve already been thinking of you and wishing the best for your friend. I’m sorry you have even more pain. This is tragic.

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How sad, cannot even imagine the heartbreak.  Praying for you and the students family.  Also keeping Lillian in my prayers.

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I am so sorry - my deepest condolences to their family and community, and also to you, especially as you help your students navigate this horrible loss.

 

 

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I'm so sorry.  One of my daughters had a friend whose two brothers (but they were not twins) were killed in a car wreck while they were in high school.  It was not their fault, although everyone assumed "teen driver," so it must have been, but regardless--it was so, so horrible.  My sympathies to everyone involved.

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8 minutes ago, plansrme said:

I'm so sorry.  One of my daughters had a friend whose two brothers (but they were not twins) were killed in a car wreck while they were in high school.  It was not their fault, although everyone assumed "teen driver," so it must have been, but regardless--it was so, so horrible.  My sympathies to everyone involved.

 

And even if it was teen error, what does that matter other than to pour salt into the wounds of a parent and say, "It must have been your kid's fault he died?"  It is cruel.  

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Just now, DawnM said:

 

And even if it was teen error, what does that matter other than to pour salt into the wounds of a parent and say, "It must have been your kid's fault he died?"  It is cruel.  

Oh, definitely!  I was trying to make the point that when there are teen drivers, many people will imply that they brought it on themselves.    I definitely do not support that position. 

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I'm so sorry, Dawn. Holding you in the light.

A student of mine died in a car accident not long after she was my student. It was just so tragic and senseless. I still think of her...

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50 minutes ago, plansrme said:

Oh, definitely!  I was trying to make the point that when there are teen drivers, many people will imply that they brought it on themselves.    I definitely do not support that position. 

 

Oh, I knew you weren't, I was just commenting.  So many have asked me, "So, were they out joy-riding?  Were they drinking?" or whatever, implying the fault has to lie somewhere.  Of course fault lies somewhere, but what does that matter when your child is gone?  (that was my point, def. not directed at you.)

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That's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for that family. 

And you didn't need any more stress with your friend in poor health. Hugs to you.

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They just announced an evening viewing and no funeral.  Is that a new normal to have no funeral service?

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1 hour ago, DawnM said:

They just announced an evening viewing and no funeral.  Is that a new normal to have no funeral service?

My daughter's friend's family had a funeral.  The media even covered it.  I don't think this is a new normal.  Maybe it is family only?  

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2 hours ago, DawnM said:

They just announced an evening viewing and no funeral.  Is that a new normal to have no funeral service?

maybe they are not ready for the funeral? and are planning a memorial service for the future? waiting for out of town people?

the viewing usually happens within a certain time frame, though.

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I think when a death is particularly tragic and unexpected, I suspect families may be more likely to keep it more private because it feels so overwhelming.  Doubly so if the story has gotten media interest.  

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7 hours ago, DawnM said:

They just announced an evening viewing and no funeral.  Is that a new normal to have no funeral service?

 

I don't know if it's a new normal, but funerals can be prohibitively expensive.  

I'm so sorry for everyone touched by this tragedy. 

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My first thought on no funeral is that perhaps they mean no public funeral.

However, it could mean there will be no burial. I guess you could call this a trend, but something offered now is for a visitation with a viewing coffin (I imagine open casket), then afterwards the body is cremated. It feels traditional, but is less expensive because it requires no purchase of a cemetery plot and no casket. 

I am so sorry Dawn. When mine were babies I was in the local mothers of twins club. One of my friends lost her 4 year old twins in a car accident. I don’t know how she survived the pain of it. But she said it gave her peace to know that they left the world as they had come into it, together. 

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13 hours ago, Seasider too said:

My first thought on no funeral is that perhaps they mean no public funeral.

However, it could mean there will be no burial. I guess you could call this a trend, but something offered now is for a visitation with a viewing coffin (I imagine open casket), then afterwards the body is cremated. It feels traditional, but is less expensive because it requires no purchase of a cemetery plot and no casket. 

I am so sorry Dawn. When mine were babies I was in the local mothers of twins club. One of my friends lost her 4 year old twins in a car accident. I don’t know how she survived the pain of it. But she said it gave her peace to know that they left the world as they had come into it, together. 

 

Oh my goodness.  How horrible!

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I’m so sorry.  

I recall student deaths really shaking things up for a lot of people, especially anyone close .  

Will the school have its own memorial assembly?

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It was horrible.  Viewing was tonight.  I can't even talk about it right now.  Open caskets.  Horrible.  

 

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