For those who don't DO a buffet at Thanksgiving . . .

[KungFuPanda]

If you'd prefer to put all of the food on the table at Thanksgiving, how does that WORK?  For my family of four, I had 9 dishes and a pie yesterday.  I could have fit it all on the table, but it would've been a squeeze and would only work because the table is twice as big as we need for just us.  HOW do you do it?  Small serving dishes? Tiered platters? The logistics fascinate me. 

My family of origin is large, so I grew up with HUGE extended family Thanksgivings.  Even when the table is nicely set, the food never fit and was always on a sideboard or countertop.  My BIL actually built an extra-wide table with some sort of stone inset in the center for hot dishes.  It works great for everything BUT Thanksgiving.  How are you all pulling this off? Round tables and lazy Susans?  Do you spend a lot of time passing things? 

[cjzimmer1]

Pretty much every inch of the main table is filled.  Those eating at the extra table come and grab their food first before most of the people sit down at the main table, than those at the main table do some passing around of the food unless a dish is too hot to pass.  Then it's "can you put x on my plate" to whomever is sitting closet to the item that is too hot to pass.  Somehow it always seems to work.  The pie doesn't come to the table till later because that's not served till after everything has been cleaned up and leftovers put away from the meal.  

[HomeAgain]

I have a lovely table that stretches to 3 meters long, 1 meter wide. That's how. 😄 I probably should have taken a picture yesterday before we sat down. Dh and I had it custom made a few years back with the idea of hosting family for the next generation.
We had....9? dishes yesterday.  Maybe one or two I'm forgetting.  But with a variety of serving dishes that are mostly oblong, everything fit well.  We pass as needed. 

[KungFuPanda]

2 minutes ago, cjzimmer1 said:

Pretty much every inch of the main table is filled.  Those eating at the extra table come and grab their food first before most of the people sit down at the main table, than those at the main table do some passing around of the food unless a dish is too hot to pass.  Then it's "can you put x on my plate" to whomever is sitting closet to the item that is too hot to pass.  Somehow it always seems to work.  The pie doesn't come to the table till later because that's not served till after everything has been cleaned up and leftovers put away from the meal.  

 

It sounds like a beautiful table.  I absolutely embrace overabundance on Thanksgiving.  

1 minute ago, HomeAgain said:

I have a lovely table that stretches to 3 meters long, 1 meter wide. That's how. 😄 I probably should have taken a picture yesterday before we sat down. Dh and I had it custom made a few years back with the idea of hosting family for the next generation.
We had....9? dishes yesterday.  Maybe one or two I'm forgetting.  But with a variety of serving dishes that are mostly oblong, everything fit well.  We pass as needed. 

I think I have the same sized table. It doesn't seem THAT big. Maybe my serving dishes are too big or the wrong shape?

[Loowit]

I don't because I hate crowed tables, much to DH's dismay.  My ILs used to just fill up every inch of space on the table(s) with dishes.  I always found it very uncomfortable.

When we ate at home as a kid, my mom managed to fit it all, but I think she served less dishes (types of food).  We never set desserts on the table with the meal so that saves some space.  After we sat down and said grace we would start dishing from what was in front of us and then pass to the right.  After all the food was passed around, we started eating.

Growing up, if we went to my grandparents house it was all on the table because grandma didn't have much counter space at all.  The kids would fill up first and head off to the kids table or the living room with TV trays, and then the adults would try to find a spot at the table. 

[KungFuPanda]

7 minutes ago, Loowit said:

I don't because I hate crowed tables, much to DH's dismay.  My ILs used to just fill up every inch of space on the table(s) with dishes.  I always found it very uncomfortable.

When we ate at home as a kid, my mom managed to fit it all, but I think she served less dishes (types of food).  We never set desserts on the table with the meal so that saves some space.  After we sat down and said grace we would start dishing from what was in front of us and then pass to the right.  After all the food was passed around, we started eating.

Growing up, if we went to my grandparents house it was all on the table because grandma didn't have much counter space at all.  The kids would fill up first and head off to the kids table or the living room with TV trays, and then the adults would try to find a spot at the table. 

Crowding in the middle doesn't bother me.  Crowding that encroaches on personal dining space would be a bit tight.  I thought about putting everything on the table yesterday,  but I wasn't sure I could make it all fit without using any of the perimeter dining area.  We had nine dishes and that doesn't include butter or S&P shakers.  If I had people over there would have been even more dishes. I'm thinking that Chinese restaurant-style with giant lazy Susans is the way to do this right, but my space demands a rectangular table.

[teachermom2834]

Before I put my foot down and insisted on buffet how it worked was that the hostess and one other woman would serve everyone. Gravy might end up on the table but basically it was like being served in a restaurant. I would just fill plates for people and bring it out to them and serve them. Then jump up to get them seconds, drink refills, etc etc. 

It was ridiculous. And as the OP with the brother in the "that relative" thread this kind of thing is likely what contributed to his feelings of being so special. It is so silly when I think of all the people sitting around a formal table having Grandma and/or an aunt just serve and cater to ten plus people. I did it in my twenties but I finally put a stop to it. We do buffet style now.

[Annie G]

We had 10 items but with only five of us here, the serving dishes weren’t huge. We passed everything the first round, and if anyone wanted a second helping it was either passed or within reach.  If we’d had ten people I would have done a buffet.

We cut the turkey in advance. 

[regentrude]

When we have our usual Thanksgiving with 12 people, we sit at a long extended table and cram most dishes (10-14 items) onto the table, with the exception of the bread basket (on the counter within reach of a person) and maybe a large meat platter. Desserts are served when the main course is cleared.

For the first round, people pass all the serving bowls around the table. For seconds and thirds, you ask for the specific food you can't reach "Dan, can you please pass me the brussel sprouts?"

Buffet would be more disruptive, because not everybody is able to get off the dinner table and walk to the counter without making other people get up. I do buffet for my summer party with 50 people who eat dispersed throughout house and yard at a number of smaller tables.

Edited November 30, 2019 by regentrude

[gardenmom5]

my group yesterday was 16.  I didn't know the oldest son of the family coming was away at college - and wasn't coming.  that was a simple miscommunication.  1sil let us know yesterday morning, she wasn't coming.  the table had already been extended/set up for 18, so we left it there.  I have 18 china dinner/salad/B&B plates.  - I have zero use for teacups and saucers.  I usually buy sets off ebay, you can get them cheap.  and the china can go in the dishwasher on a delicate cycle.  similar with my crystal. I bought it for $50/$60 for set of 12 years ago. it looks nice, is real crystal and I've been able to find replacements for it on ebay when someone breaks a glass.

I have 3 3-tiered servers with charger sized plates I picked up at some off price store for >$20 each. they fold up and store flat. pies/etc. go on them.

we have two sheet's a plywood making a 16' table. we extended our 10 person dining table, and use mil's extensile table fully extended as the base.  beach towels/table pads to protect the tables from the plywood. the plywood itself is cut into pieces (so we can adjust length as needed based on size of group), washers on each piece to go to the piece next to it to keep them flush.  main end pieces have rounded corners.   I bought vinyl table cover from the fabric store I keep on a roll - in two piece.   I over lap the vinyl "padding', then put on buffet length table clothes - which get overlapped because they just dont' make them that long.  I will then put on two nicer table clothes with better overhand (the under cloth helps them drape better.)  I've been too cheap to order another couple dozen dinner napkins from the restaurant supply place - but I need to do so . . . . (I have two dozen damask poly ones I'd be happy to dispose of.)

I have numerous folding chairs in addition to 12 (kitchen/dining) regular chairs. 

[Junie]

When I was growing up our holiday meals were sit-down meals because there was no room to walk around the table(s) to do a buffet.

 

ETA:  Dinner was usually 12-15 people in a mobile home.

Edited November 30, 2019 by Junie

[gardenmom5]

I'd love to have a buffet - but dont' have the space.  (dh would rather have "sit-down".)

butter/s&p/jam - may have three sets on the table.

I have numerous serving dishes - we have doubles of many items. though yesterday, there were no leftovers of stuffing or mashed potatoes . . . several people we looking, and 2ds called 1ds (who worked cleanup) and asked.

[catz]

We never have a buffet.  We just pass the dishes.  We only had 5 yesteday but inlaw meals tend to be 15-20 and then we sit at maybe 2 tables.  We sometimes have to set stuff off to the side.  But I do have a table that can seat to 12 with leaves so it does get long.

[KungFuPanda]

2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

Before I put my foot down and insisted on buffet how it worked was that the hostess and one other woman would serve everyone. Gravy might end up on the table but basically it was like being served in a restaurant. I would just fill plates for people and bring it out to them and serve them. Then jump up to get them seconds, drink refills, etc etc. 

It was ridiculous. And as the OP with the brother in the "that relative" thread this kind of thing is likely what contributed to his feelings of being so special. It is so silly when I think of all the people sitting around a formal table having Grandma and/or an aunt just serve and cater to ten plus people. I did it in my twenties but I finally put a stop to it. We do buffet style now.

That's just mean!  I can see serving little kids who you don't want walking around with loaded plates, or people who have trouble getting around, but having two women acting as waitresses for an entire family sounds awful to me.  Maybe if that's how Grandma wants things because it's her home and she's doing the serving I could get on board, but able-bodied people feeling entitled to this service feels icky.

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

When we have our usual Thanksgiving with 12 people, we sit at a long extended table and cram most dishes (10-14 items) onto the table, with the exception of the bread basket (on the counter within reach of a person) and maybe a large meat platter. Desserts are served when the main course is cleared.

For the first round, people pass all the serving bowls around the table. For seconds and thirds, you ask for the specific food you can't reach "Dan, can you please pass me the brussel sprouts?"

Buffet would be more disruptive, because not everybody is able to get off the dinner table and walk to the counter without making other people get up. I do buffet for my summer party with 50 people who eat dispersed throughout house and yard at a number of smaller tables.

 

I didn't consider dining configurations where people would be unable to get up without making other people move.  That makes more sense.

1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:

my group yesterday was 16.  I didn't know the oldest son of the family coming was away at college - and wasn't coming.  that was a simple miscommunication.  1sil let us know yesterday morning, she wasn't coming.  the table had already been extended/set up for 18, so we left it there.  I have 18 china dinner/salad/B&B plates.  - I have zero use for teacups and saucers.  I usually buy sets off ebay, you can get them cheap.  and the china can go in the dishwasher on a delicate cycle.  similar with my crystal. I bought it for $50/$60 for set of 12 years ago. it looks nice, is real crystal and I've been able to find replacements for it on ebay when someone breaks a glass.

I have 3 3-tiered servers with charger sized plates I picked up at some off price store for >$20 each. they fold up and store flat. pies/etc. go on them.

we have two sheet's a plywood making a 16' table. we extended our 10 person dining table, and use mil's extensile table fully extended as the base.  beach towels/table pads to protect the tables from the plywood. the plywood itself is cut into pieces (so we can adjust length as needed based on size of group), washers on each piece to go to the piece next to it to keep them flush.  main end pieces have rounded corners.   I bought vinyl table cover from the fabric store I keep on a roll - in two piece.   I over lap the vinyl "padding', then put on buffet length table clothes - which get overlapped because they just dont' make them that long.  I will then put on two nicer table clothes with better overhand (the under cloth helps them drape better.)  I've been too cheap to order another couple dozen dinner napkins from the restaurant supply place - but I need to do so . . . . (I have two dozen damask poly ones I'd be happy to dispose of.)

I have numerous folding chairs in addition to 12 (kitchen/dining) regular chairs. 

 

10 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

I hate passing dishes and crowding the table, too many armpits in my face 😂

We just keeps them in the kitchen and let people serve themselves before sitting down.  It’s not a buffet, really, so much as a sit down thanksgiving that doesn’t live on the table, maybe?

 

Maybe I'm not understanding what everyone means when they say buffet.  In my mind, it just means you serve yourself from the sideboard before sitting down.  It doesn't preclude dining at a table with nice dishes and cloth napkins.  I'm getting the impression that when some people say buffet they mean folks are scattered about the house with paper plates? That seems like a different seating configurations and choice of dishes, but doesn't speak to where the serving dishes are placed. 

[KungFuPanda]

7 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

Yeah I was picturing a more casual dining affair as buffet.  No matter what we serve in groups it’s always off the kitchen counter or side board.  But sometimes it involves a coordinated sitting down and praying and eating together and sometimes more free form.  In my mind the free form is buffet and the more formal is a sit down dinner, no dishes ever on the table.  

We don’t do that for family dinners either.

Cleary we need pictures or something to compare, I’m all confused 😂

I thought someone would've posted a beautifully configured table that held both people AND 15 different dishes, but they're making me guess.  I'm wondering how they pull it off with all that passing without tipping someone's wine glass in the process.  

Sometimes I host a pie club and the pies are all on the table.  Occasionally someone ends up holding a pie and the space they took it from has been filled with another, so they're stuck until someone rescues them.  I've seriously considered investing in one of those stacking pie rack things, but I never seem to remember. It's a LOT easier to put 8 pies on a table than a dozen Thanksgiving dishes.  

[Farrar]

My table seats 12. We are 4. It’s easy. 🤷‍♀️       
I’ve done it when there has been 9 of us as well and it worked fine though. But I don’t have a photo...

[teachermom2834]

39 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

That's just mean!  I can see serving little kids who you don't want walking around with loaded plates, or people who have trouble getting around, but having two women acting as waitresses for an entire family sounds awful to me.  Maybe if that's how Grandma wants things because it's her home and she's doing the serving I could get on board, but able-bodied people feeling entitled to this service feels icky.

 

Yep. Lots of dysfunction in my eyes. It makes zero sense but it was the way it always was growing up. My grandma did it, then my mom did it, then I did it. After a few years I was like WTF? It left me feeling used and resentful. I got lots of brushback because it was the way things were and the way they had to be. We used to still serve my dad but everyone else was on their own. The last couple years my sister and I have gone to serve my dad and he has insisted on making his own plate like everyone else.

I think now everyone would be embarrassed but when I first bucked that tradition everyone was so mad. Like I was so selfish not to do it.  I grew up in a very patriarchal situation. I was such a troublemaker refusing to go along! I still host and cook the whole meal but everyone can make their own freaking plates. I have two counters in the kitchen that I set food out on and gravy and mashed potatoes were still in pots on the stovetop and then everyone sits down at the table with real plates etc. When people want seconds they jump and help themselves.

This year most guests even put their own dishes in the sink when they were done and got up from the table. We have made alot of progress. 

[gardenmom5]

4 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

Before I put my foot down and insisted on buffet how it worked was that the hostess and one other woman would serve everyone. Gravy might end up on the table but basically it was like being served in a restaurant. I would just fill plates for people and bring it out to them and serve them. Then jump up to get them seconds, drink refills, etc etc. 

It was ridiculous. And as the OP with the brother in the "that relative" thread this kind of thing is likely what contributed to his feelings of being so special. It is so silly when I think of all the people sitting around a formal table having Grandma and/or an aunt just serve and cater to ten plus people. I did it in my twenties but I finally put a stop to it. We do buffet style now.

🤯

that's not the word I would use , . .. . . . 

 

[gardenmom5]

2 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

That's just mean!  I can see serving little kids who you don't want walking around with loaded plates, or people who have trouble getting around, but having two women acting as waitresses for an entire family sounds awful to me.  Maybe if that's how Grandma wants things because it's her home and she's doing the serving I could get on board, but able-bodied people feeling entitled to this service feels icky.

 

I didn't consider dining configurations where people would be unable to get up without making other people move.  That makes more sense.

 

 

Maybe I'm not understanding what everyone means when they say buffet.  In my mind, it just means you serve yourself from the sideboard before sitting down.  It doesn't preclude dining at a table with nice dishes and cloth napkins.  I'm getting the impression that when some people say buffet they mean folks are scattered about the house with paper plates? That seems like a different seating configurations and choice of dishes, but doesn't speak to where the serving dishes are placed. 

I have the same opinion of a buffet as you.  I don't have space to have a table that seats 16 (or more) - and the counter space to put the food on that people can comfortable walk past while dishing up. while dh insists on having a table in the kitchen (which gets covered with 'junk') - there really isn't room for the thing.

of course - dh takes up an inordinate amount of counter space with cooking.  I have a 9 1/2 ft built in buffet in my dining room - It has pies, appetizers, and other goodies on it.  even with tiered-servers, it gets covered.  dinner is on the table, and is passed. - small children must be placed between big people who are capable of passing.  (and helping them as needed.)

[Ellie]

On 11/29/2019 at 8:27 PM, KungFuPanda said:

Maybe I'm not understanding what everyone means when they say buffet.  In my mind, it just means you serve yourself from the sideboard before sitting down.  It doesn't preclude dining at a table with nice dishes and cloth napkins.  I'm getting the impression that when some people say buffet they mean folks are scattered about the house with paper plates? That seems like a different seating configurations and choice of dishes, but doesn't speak to where the serving dishes are placed. 

All the food set out on a table or kitchen island, people have their plates in their hands--paper or other, it doesn't matter--everyone in a line, taking whatever food they want, and then going to sit down somewhere. Maybe everyone at the same table, maybe not. It's how people get their food that makes it a buffet, not where they sit to eat.

Edited December 1, 2019 by Ellie

[Shoeless]

Both of my grandparents had sit down meals with all serving dishes on the table.  You'd pick up the dish in front of you, serve yourself, and then pass to whomever was empty handed next to you.  If the potatoes didn't make their way around, you said "Could you please pass the potatoes?" and they'd get passed down.  Both grandfather's would carve the turkey at the table and plate it there. 🤷‍♂️ I actually found a picture of Thanksgiving at my grandmother's house from the 1970s, and it doesn't look like they served nearly as many dishes as people do today: turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, gravy.  My grandma also served a relish tray of celery and olives, and a creamed pearl onion thing that my grandfather liked, but those dishes were pretty small.  Grandpa was the only one that ate the onion dish).  I think I was the only one that ate the olives and celery, lol.  Similar deal at my other grandma's house.  It just all fit somehow. 🤷‍♂️ Dinner plates were cleared and then desert was brought out. 

My in-laws do a free-for-all buffet.  Food is out and people can eat whenever they want, where ever they want. They don't sit together or even eat at the same time. It seems weird to me, but 🤷‍♂️

[marbel]

I've never done a buffet when it's just the 4 of us. We always fit everything.  

Turkey is carved at the counter and a plate of meat is brought over.  Desserts are not on the table till after dinner; our practice is to eat the meal, clean up, put away leftovers, go for a walk, make coffee/tea, then bring out dessert. 

So maybe we have fewer dishes than you do, or maybe our table is bigger.  

We have done big meals different ways:

1. Everyone sits at the table; food is placed in serving dishes on the table; everyone passes dishes.  The table can be beautifully decorated, or not. 

2. Everyone sits at the table; the food is placed on the kitchen counter or other surface (thus making the surface a buffet, because that's where the food is); people get a plate of food before sitting down at the table. The table can be beautifully decorated, or not. 

3. People sit scattered around; the food is placed on the buffet (whatever that means, see 2); people get a plate of food before sitting down wherever. Usually when we do this, I use the kitchen table as a buffet, and just move the chairs. I think it's awkward to have a few people sitting at the table while others are in the living room. Also, I can make the buffet look nicer on the table than on the kitchen counter.  

For us it depends on the size of the crowd. We can fit only 8 comfortably at our kitchen table; there are no leaves; there is no dining room. 

Edited November 30, 2019 by marbel

[unsinkable]

Cramming all the food& platters on the table, then everyone squeezing into the table makes me a nervous wreck. I don't know what it is, some kind of claustrophobia? But when the extended family does it, I can barely eat. But that is the way we usually do it. 

Since it is not my house, I don't have any input. I usually arrive and the table is set with plates and potholder type things for where the serving dishes will go and my heart kind of sinks. 

I would love to do a buffet.

[J-rap]

We have a fairly large side table right next to the main dining room table where everyone is sitting.  All the serving plates are kept on the side table.  Usually a couple "servers" will stand up and begin passing the serving plates around the table.  That is, they'll give it to one person, and then the guests will keep passing it around the table themselves.  (And usually the person passing it on to the next person will hold it for that person while they serve themselves up, unless the plate is small.)  Once it goes around the table, it's placed back on the side table again, or sometimes carried to the next table (if there is more than one table).

So, it's usually just smaller items, like the gravy, rolls, butter, and cranberries that are left on the table.  Everything else goes around and then back to the side table.

Of course they're all passed around again at some point.  🙂 

And sometimes a third time!

[MEmama]

I’ve never been to a large family thanksgiving or any gathering that would require such a thing. Growing up there were 5 in our family; my own is three. We don’t over cook or make any more than a typical nice meal for holidays. I honestly can’t imagine it any other way. 

[unsinkable]

30 minutes ago, MEmama said:

I’ve never been to a large family thanksgiving or any gathering that would require such a thing. Growing up there were 5 in our family; my own is three. We don’t over cook or make any more than a typical nice meal for holidays. I honestly can’t imagine it any other way. 

You can't imagine a big family at a crowded table? 

[MEmama]

59 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

You can't imagine a big family at a crowded table? 

In my world. 😉. It would be sheer misery for me. Thankfully we have a small family. 🙂

 

[Jaybee]

Our table is a small rectangular one which tightly seats six. It was bought when four of us were in an apartment with limited space, but has such a lovely wood grain that I don't want to part with it. And our kitchen countertops are great for buffet-style. They are made of a matte-finished tile and there is a peninsula area that is great for both food preparation and serving. So we often do buffet even when it is just the four of us, because it makes the table too crowded if we have more than 3 dishes. When we have guests, we put up a folding table so we can seat more people. With our setup, buffet helps the table/s look and feel more spacious.

[Laura Corin]

On the table and serving each other. The table is five feet long. For four we had:

Carved turkey; vegetarian haggis; meaty gravy; veggie gravy; dressing; mashed potato; beans in cheese sauce; plain steamed beans

Pies were eaten casually several hours later.

Edited November 30, 2019 by Laura Corin

[Lecka]

I grew up with lining up in the kitchen and putting food on plates for there.  Then various people would get up to get things from the kitchen and ask if anyone needed anything while they were up.  So like the grandma/aunt situation but with many people getting up 1-2 times each.  I suspect it might have started the same and then my mom and aunt told people to start helping.  

[KungFuPanda]

I can see how everything would fit easily with turkey, a few sides, and a few condiments.  I think I went overboard a bit with just the four of us, but when my sister is around it gets really crazy so I was minimalist in comparison. I love having all of the leftovers and planning meals around them.  My family is less impressed with the situation past Friday.

2 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

On the table and serving each other. The table is five feet long. For four we had:

Carved turkey; vegetarian haggis; meaty gravy; veggie gravy; dressing; mashed potato; beans in cheese sauce; plain steamed beans

Pies were eaten casually several hours later.

What on earth is Vegetarian Haggis? Also, what is beans in cheese sauce? Haggis is one of those recipes I've never gotten around to making.  The crockpot 365 lady has a recipe I've been meaning to try forever.  

[Laura Corin]

19 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

I can see how everything would fit easily with turkey, a few sides, and a few condiments.  I think I went overboard a bit with just the four of us, but when my sister is around it gets really crazy so I was minimalist in comparison. I love having all of the leftovers and planning meals around them.  My family is less impressed with the situation past Friday.

What on earth is Vegetarian Haggis? Also, what is beans in cheese sauce? Haggis is one of those recipes I've never gotten around to making.  The crockpot 365 lady has a recipe I've been meaning to try forever.  

Well, haggis is a kind of sausage made of offal, grains and spices. The vegetarian kind is made with lentils and beans instead of offal.

When Husband was small, his mum made tinned green beans in a white sauce with cheese, finished in the oven. I make it with lightly steamed green beans, white sauce with cheese, topped with grilled Panko crumbs.