Junie Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 2 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said: Yup. I haven’t been in my sister’s house for 20 years because of anaphylactic pet allergies. She chose to have pets. 🤷♀️ I've told my kids that I will know how much they want me to visit by whether or not they get a cat. They all know that if they get a cat I will *never* visit their home. 😞 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted November 26, 2019 Share Posted November 26, 2019 4 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said: Yup. I haven’t been in my sister’s house for 20 years because of anaphylactic pet allergies. She chose to have pets. 🤷♀️ 2 hours ago, Junie said: I've told my kids that I will know how much they want me to visit by whether or not they get a cat. They all know that if they get a cat I will *never* visit their home. 😞 I think it can be okay to choose to have pets even if a family member can't visit, because there are usually plenty of other alternatives. I mean, they can always visit you, right? Or you both visit another family member's house. If it's only the pet lover and the allergic person, it would be nice for the pet lover to do their best to lighten the burden of the person who always has to host. The physical host shouldn't have to provide the bulk of the food every time, that should definitely be shared, and I would want to handle most of the cleanup (as the visitor). And other things as well. It's hard when you can't visit someone's home due to allergies, but it's also hard to never be able to get a pet if you are an animal lover. Animals are an integral part of our lives, and it definitely would have made me very sad for my kids to grow up without pets. That doesn't mean I think animals are more important than my sister or my mom, it just means I know that I can still see them and do things with them even if it's not at my house. Also, they may marry someone who already has cats! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Hurray! No puppy! I have pets but loathe the idea of bringing them with me anywhere. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 (edited) 20 hours ago, katilac said: I think it can be okay to choose to have pets even if a family member can't visit, because there are usually plenty of other alternatives. I mean, they can always visit you, right? Or you both visit another family member's house. If it's only the pet lover and the allergic person, it would be nice for the pet lover to do their best to lighten the burden of the person who always has to host. The physical host shouldn't have to provide the bulk of the food every time, that should definitely be shared, and I would want to handle most of the cleanup (as the visitor). And other things as well. It's hard when you can't visit someone's home due to allergies, but it's also hard to never be able to get a pet if you are an animal lover. Animals are an integral part of our lives, and it definitely would have made me very sad for my kids to grow up without pets. That doesn't mean I think animals are more important than my sister or my mom, it just means I know that I can still see them and do things with them even if it's not at my house. Also, they may marry someone who already has cats! It's fascinating to me how many people think that I don't understand loving pets because I am allergic to them. There's this "you just don't understand this" phenomena that people love to shove in my face. I grew up with dogs, cats, horses, rabbits, cows...on a farm. I quite literally understand the joy of having pets. I developed my allergies as a teen, and spent my teens years continually sick because my parents never took me in for allergy testing and didn't believe that my asthma was real. I have permanent lung damage as a result of scarring from getting pneumonia repeatedly. I just rather enjoy breathing. Perhaps if I get terminal cancer or something I'll just choose to go out snuggling a cat. So, I have a lot of friends and family that I just don't get to visit. No choice for me on that. This wasn't something I chose. And, truly, I don't have hard feelings and understand that they get to have pets every day all day and that I just fit in around the cracks of their lives. But I'm getting kinda sick of the "you just don't understand" vibe. Nope, I understand. And, nope, I don't get to choose. And yup, I just get to roll with the consequences of your choice. I'm eating Thanksgiving alone with my family this year. Edited November 27, 2019 by prairiewindmomma 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said: It's fascinating to me how many people think that I don't understand loving pets because I am allergic to them. There's this "you just don't understand this" phenomena that people love to shove in my face. I grew up with dogs, cats, horses, rabbits, cows...on a farm. I quite literally understand the joy of having pets. I developed my allergies as a teen, and spent my teens years continually sick because my parents never took me in for allergy testing and didn't believe that my asthma was real. I have permanent lung damage as a result of scarring from getting pneumonia repeatedly. I just rather enjoy breathing. Perhaps if I get terminal cancer or something I'll just choose to go out snuggling a cat. So, I have a lot of friends and family that I just don't get to visit. No choice for me on that. This wasn't something I chose. And, truly, I don't have hard feelings and understand that they get to have pets every day all day and that I just fit in around the cracks of their lives. But I'm getting kinda sick of the "you just don't understand" vibe. Nope, I understand. And, nope, I don't get to choose. And yup, I just get to roll with the consequences of your choice. I'm eating Thanksgiving alone with my family this year. I didn't say you don't understand, I just said that I don't think it's wrong for the person to choose to have pets. You posted that she chose to have pets, with an emoji throwing up their hands or shrugging, so I did think you disagreed with her decision. I'm sorry you can't go to the big Thanksgiving dinner. If a family member can't be at a certain house due to a severe allergy, they should be given the option to host if that's at all possible. I'd never choose hosting over having my sister there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 I apologize that I misread your intent. The shoulder shrug emoji is just signifying my “I just get to roll with it”. It’s not disapproval, just sadness/frustration. Honestly, I hope there is just greater awareness at some point. It reminds me of when dd got her anaphylactic nut allergy 15 years ago. Everyone thought it was no big deal, people thought we were over exaggerating, etc. I think public sentiment has changed a bit with time.....but we haven’t hit that awareness yet on pet allergies. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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