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If your kid has gotten married in the last 5 years..

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How much did they give the officiant as a gift?

my dd is getting married and our pastor is marrying her. He doesn’t expect anything. But I do feel it’s important to acknowledge his role in the ceremony. He’ll be there for rehearsal and wedding. 

Whats the going rate for these things?

pastors and pastors wives feel free to chime in too.

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Daughter had her wedding about 2 1/2 years ago. The pastor was given $300. He and his wife were also invited to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. He didn’t give the prayers at either, we just wanted he and his wife to relax.

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Our pastor specifically requests only Sam Adams beer.  😉
(There are so many expenses like this, paying musicians, friends who help out, etc.)

Another option is always going the highly sentimental route - a framed photo, a lengthy note with fond memories, etc.

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2dd was married 3 1/2 years ago.  we dont' pay ours.  in our faith, it's inappropriate to even give a cash gift for performing a marriage.

I know one of our long deceased church leaders who would often end up marrying couples traveling through his town (not of our faith) who would want to pay him.  he'd tell them to pay them what he thought it was worth - then he'd give the money to the bride.

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My husband received the range of $0 to $300.  I'd say I'd probably give $150 - $300, depending on finances and the wedding itself.  If, say, my kid was having a relatively expensive wedding, I'd encourage a higher honorarium than for a simple ceremony with cake and punch reception in the church hall. That might not make sense to anyone but me, but if we could spend the money on a fairly lavish wedding, I think we could give the officiant a bit more too. 

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I gave a gift of $200 in 1989.  

The pastor could not come to the reception because he had another wedding to perform later in the day in another city.  It was a stretch for him to do ours at all as we were getting married a full hour from our church.  I gave that gift without any guidance because in our tradition there is no charge for such things.  Later I found out that it was 'normal' and I felt bad because I wanted to be unusually generous.

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I bought ds a suit. So, about $250. LOL

Ds is a pastor. 

 

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On 11/15/2019 at 8:48 PM, Tap said:

I bought ds a suit. So, about $250. LOL

Ds is a pastor. 

 

What? No new clerical shirt to go with😊 In our faith group, there’s a special shirt needed so the clerical collar can be inserted😊

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18 hours ago, May said:

What? No new clerical shirt to go with😊 In our faith group, there’s a special shirt needed so the clerical collar can be inserted😊

Well, it was actually suit, shirt, tie and shoes. LOL He had a good belt already. The shirt and tie were specifically bought to complement the wedding party's colors. I don't think a pastor is usually in the wedding family photos. HaHa. 

It might be awkward.  "Hey there pastor, can I take you clothes shopping for the wedding!" Yeah, that sounds a bit off. 

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