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Quill

I’m considering giving up Christmas cards

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1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

Well, I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting Christmas cards!! Especially with photos on them. So I say send them! Heck, I'd love to exchange addresses and send you one and get one from you! But, full disclosure, I do throw them away after Epiphany. I just don't have space to store such things. (under 1500 sq ft for 6 people, 3 70lb dogs, 2 cats, and no basement/attic). But I still love love love getting them, even if I don't keep them forever. 

And I think it is fine to pare down the list to people you think really do care about getting them. 

 

I've still got photo cards from a couple years ago Christmas up on our -- well, not mantle. The area BESIDE an alcove in our house where we display such things.

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1 hour ago, Quill said:

PM me; I’d be happy to exchange with you. 

Yay!!! I will!

I really do love them. I put them all up on the inside of our front door, which is visible from most of the house. Makes me happy every time I see them. 

Quill - I tried but it says you cannot receive messages. 

Edited by Ktgrok

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re pain that's too hard for friends and family to hold

4 hours ago, Quill said:

@Chris in VA

I am so sorry. When I was in my twenties, I had no idea this was a thing that happens. And then I found out it is. 

I hope you have the support you need now. 

((Chris)) and ((Danielle)).  Yes, this is a thing that happens.  I am so sorry, and so hope you found your way back to the people whose support you deserved... or found new people whose support you have.

 

1 hour ago, Chris in VA said:

I want to add a more positive note (been feeling down and I know it shows)--

 

For several years, we collected our displayed Christmas cards after the holidays and put them in a basket on tbe table. At dinner, we pulled one and added a quick prayer for that family/person during grace

This is breathtakingly beautiful and life-affirming and filled with grace.

 

 

This thread is making me re-think how important physical manifestations of caring (in contrast to electronica) are to the soul.  I've always *liked* cards but some of these posts are stepping up my appreciation considerably.

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19 hours ago, happi duck said:

I am a grief-stricken, anxious, depressed person.  The past few years have been really bad.

I kept my card tradition because it's important to me.  I did, however, cut letters and photos because disastrous years are not pleasant to revisit.

Please, please don't even slightly judge the cards without a personal touch.  Even if you think you would, there's no way you know why it isn't personal.  Heck, even if it isn't personal because "this is how mom always did it" that's still a greeting!

I shared not because I think trauma is the reason for every preprinted card but I do think that choosing to just accept a greeting in any form is good for humanity. 

Ah, I'm sorry if I said something hurtful. Not sure how "kinda dislike..." indicates I am judging people!  Probably I worded it too strongly.

But here's what I mean. Say I get two cards, pretty much the same:  a photo card with everything preprinted (Merry Christmas!  Love, the Smiths).  But one of the cards has something handwritten on it.  Even just my name, or "Marbel family" or something like that. Maybe a scrawled "miss you!" or a heart drawn by a kid. Not much, but something that tells me that the person who sent the card is thinking of me/my family as they are sending it.  That doesn't mean that someone who doesn't put anything personal on a card is not thinking of the person they're sending it to as they stuff the envelope, of course. But taking the minute or less to put a personal touch on the card, well, yeah, I'm probably going to treasure that card just a little more than one with no personal touch at all. It's not about judging people - it's not a negative feeling toward the person who does not do it, but more of a warm feeling toward the person who does.  And it's not about expecting a long hand-written letter. It's just that one shows more of a personal connection than the other.  That's all.

Edited by marbel
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1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

Well, I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting Christmas cards!! Especially with photos on them. So I say send them! Heck, I'd love to exchange addresses and send you one and get one from you! But, full disclosure, I do throw them away after Epiphany. I just don't have space to store such things. (under 1500 sq ft for 6 people, 3 70lb dogs, 2 cats, and no basement/attic). But I still love love love getting them, even if I don't keep them forever. 

And I think it is fine to pare down the list to people you think really do care about getting them. 

Message me your address and I’ll send you one. I’m serious!

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We still do cards with preprinted letters to people we have known throughout the years who matter.  Our life has included a lot of moving and the cards do seem to keep us a bit more connected......no Facebook and honestly I don’t think many of the people on my list do Facebook either.   I do quite a stack and could never write a personal letter with each.  I do address the cards myself and try to write a bit in each if it is someone we won’t see in the next year.

  We still mail a picture of the dc’s standing beside each other because it’s tradition.  They spent years in front of Royal Mail boxes wearing Christmas sweaters after we moved to England 😂......then we moved to a house with a great stone wall which became the backdrop for how much taller is Ds (ended at about a foot).   Now we just do a favorite picture I have from the previous year of them.  Dh enjoys writing the letter and seems to be popular with it.😉  My college roommate’s hubby writes theirs too and I really look forward to hearing what’s happening from the guy perspective.

Each year I cut a few from the list as I add a new person to two.  I seem to always cut someone who didn’t want to be so am pretty cautious about cutting now.   People actually have asked for copies after Christmas while asking what happened to theirs.......I normally say it must have gotten lost ( actually has happened) and I mail a new one. I have a spot I keep all the card photos I have received over the years.  It’s fun getting a quick email from someone commenting about something mentioned in the card.  We still receive several cards each year from both sides of the Atlantic but since we require a trip to the post office because of international postage I don’t keep count in the traditional crossed off the list way.

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I shouldn’t have read this thread again.   I going to send out a few cards this year now.  Thanks @Quill.  🤪    Y’all have pulled at heart strings this morning.  💗

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6 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

Yay!!! I will!

I really do love them. I put them all up on the inside of our front door, which is visible from most of the house. Makes me happy every time I see them. 

Quill - I tried but it says you cannot receive messages. 

Oh for pity's sake...me and my hoarded messages. Let me go decide which precious PM to clear out so I can receive more, lol! 

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On 11/13/2019 at 2:34 AM, MissLemon said:

I now only send cards to my elderly relatives. The younger generations do not give a flip about cards and often seem vaguely annoyed by the expectation they now have to reciprocate since you sent one.   

I'm also pretty sure I'm the last person in North America to send hand-written thank you cards for gifts. Instead of a thank you card, I get a text from my sisters saying "Thanks for my kid's gift!". I guess it's better than not hearing anything, (I'm looking at you, cousin K), but... *sigh*

I'm feeling old and cranky. 

You aren't the only one that sends hand-written thank you notes.  There are 2 of us!!  I always send out thank you notes and have my daughters do it as well.  I still love to buy nice stationery and use it! I hate that hand-written notes are dying out.  

 

Quill-- I stopped sending out Christmas cards a couple of years ago, but I miss it so, so much.  I used to look forward to receiving Christmas cards so much.  But fewer and fewer people were sending them out, so it didn't seem worth it to do it anymore.  😞 I don't do Facebook, so I have lost touch with numerous people.  

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Y’all have convinced me. I’m sending them out. I am going to cut down on some of them who never send or who never give feedback indicating it matters to them. But probably still around 50. Part of it is that I know if I give up, I am essentially agreeing to never have Christmas cards anymore, even if it would take a couple of years for it to come to that. I simply do not wish to hasten the coming of Christmas card extinction. 

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I love Christmas cards!  I send out about 80 or so, but I usually end up ordering closer to 100 because it is cheaper.  I don’t save all the ones from people, but love receiving them and I do keep them out in my entryway until Epiphany.  I have a small scrapbook with a copy of the family card from each year. The trouble I have is throwing out the extras at the end of the year.  I used to write a letter on the inside of my cards when I had a shorter list and more time.  Now I write a line or two on most of them.  I know the cost adds up, but I am willing to spend a couple of dollars a year per family to stay at least a bit connected since I am not on Facebook.

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On 11/12/2019 at 12:28 PM, Storygirl said:

I stopped doing cards perhaps 10 years ago. I still wanted to do them, and would even get the photos of the kids printed on cards, but I wasn't getting them sent out. I tried organizing them early and sending them out right after Thanksgiving, but I found I had trouble making that happen, too. After a couple of years of ending up with the stack of unsent cards, I decided just to stop doing it.

 

 

This happened to me, too.  I'd make the cards, but then not send them.  Sometimes I sent them late, but then it got too late to send them.  Last Christmas I sent cards again -- they were New Year's Cards instead of Christmas cards.  I think that is what I'll do from now on, so that if they go out in January, it's no big deal.  But I only send 20 or so.  

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On 11/13/2019 at 8:29 AM, Ktgrok said:

Well, I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting Christmas cards!! Especially with photos on them. So I say send them! Heck, I'd love to exchange addresses and send you one and get one from you! But, full disclosure, I do throw them away after Epiphany. I just don't have space to store such things. (under 1500 sq ft for 6 people, 3 70lb dogs, 2 cats, and no basement/attic). But I still love love love getting them, even if I don't keep them forever. 

And I think it is fine to pare down the list to people you think really do care about getting them. 

Maybe we could have a welltrained mind forum card exchange!  I enjoy receiving cards too, but only still get a handful, if that, anymore.

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22 hours ago, Quill said:

Y’all have convinced me. I’m sending them out. I am going to cut down on some of them who never send or who never give feedback indicating it matters to them. But probably still around 50. Part of it is that I know if I give up, I am essentially agreeing to never have Christmas cards anymore, even if it would take a couple of years for it to come to that. I simply do not wish to hasten the coming of Christmas card extinction. 

Fight the good fight!!!

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9 hours ago, school17777 said:

Maybe we could have a welltrained mind forum card exchange!  I enjoy receiving cards too, but only still get a handful, if that, anymore.

This is a fun idea. I think we can do this, but there has to be some parameters. If posters want to PM me, I can compile a list of names and mailing addresses and then, by some deadline - I don’t know which - I will PM everyone who wants to participate the list. 

Here’s the big caveat: I’m not going to include anyone I haven’t “known” around here for a long time. It’s too risky to send identifying info to someone I can’t verify has been part of this community for a long time, very visibly. So, sorry mostly-lurkers who only have 200 posts, or people who just joined. 

Also, as recipients, I do not think we should expect A-list cards from forum buddies, so if, for the purposes of this exchange, we don’t send our premium photos of our families but rather, send a lovely ordinary boxed card, that should be sufficient. Nevertheless, if you want to send premium cards, that’s fine, too! 

I also don’t want to start a new thread about this idea; let’s just assume the members reading this thread are the same ones who would want to participate. Be patient if you can’t at first get an address to me; my box is always full and I’m weirdly possessive of my old conversations here, lol. Also, if you have ever PM’d me in the past, you can add onto an existing conversation without using up more storage. New conversations eat up space, but existing conversations can be added to without affecting it. 

So - I invite anyone who wants to participate in a Christmas card exchange here - so long as I’ve seen you around and you’re not a newbie - to PM me with name and physical address and I will start compiling. 

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P.S. : @fairfarmhand and @Ktgrok, let me know if you want to participate in this exchange or if I should leave the info you PM’d me off the list. 

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Bumping for participants in Hive Happy Holidays card exchange. 💜

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I’ve been reading along instead of sleeping lately. I love Holiday cards, and getting fun mail in general. We send a photo card without any personalization. You all are making me question which of our recipients judge me for that.  I send about 100 cards to family. I have noticed a decline in the amount we receive each year. I suspect for many of my relatives  it’s due to postage costs. I understand, but I like cards so I might spend less on other holiday areas. 

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I haven't sent out anything since 2015, but plan to this year. It may just be a family newsletter. I haven't decided yet.

We moved and have had a lot of changes, so it's time IMHO.

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I like being anonymous!!  I love sending and receiving real mail!!

I'm so conflicted on the card exchange!!!!

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1 hour ago, happi duck said:

I like being anonymous!!  I love sending and receiving real mail!!

I'm so conflicted on the card exchange!!!!

Oh god, you’re my sister! Or my niece! 😄

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I really do have sweet memories of Christmas cards, mostly about my grandparents and my mother. 

My grandparents were born in 1912, grew up in the Great Depression and didn't have my mom till they were in their 40s. So mail was their way of communication with far flung people and Christmas cards were a thing for them. They opened each one with a letter opener and told who it was from. Then they'd quietly read the line or two (hand written of course) that the sender had written. Usually it was stuff like "Thinking of you this holiday season and hope that next year is great for you. Sue, Jim and the boys are coming in for Christmas for a few days and we're excited for the season. Tell Jane I said hello. Merry Christmas. Love, The Brown Family."

Then they'd close the card and look at the picture and make a comment or two. "Oh, Santa Claus." or "Blue and Silver. Mary Anne always picks such pretty cards." Then they'd close the card and pass it to my mom so she could read it for herself. My mom would read it and ask if my Grandparents had other news about the family. Grandmother always knew who'd had surgery or lost her sister that year.  After some talking, my mom would set the card standing up on the big television as a display (remember the ones that had like a wooden cabinet thing around the screen?) with the other cards. Before Christmas was over, there would be two dozen cards on the TV. 

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On 11/12/2019 at 12:37 PM, DesertBlossom said:

I am on my 15th year of really wanting to do Christmas cards, but finding it too stressful/expensive/time consuming to actually do them. I love getting cards from people. No, I don't save them. But I do love the updates. I wish I was better about reciprocating. 

If you are going to send out cards, do it for you because you like it. If it's causing you stress, don't do it.

This is me. I haven't sent them in years. When we were overseas, it was really hard to keep up with the changing addresses, though we still tried to send out a Christmas letter. When we returned, it just wasn't high on my priority list for the reasons above (stress, expense, and time), and I was kind of relieved not to feel obligated anymore. I do enjoy getting them.

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Ugh, I know. I LOVE Christmas cards.  I get about 5 each year and 1 is from a real estate agent we bought a house from 8 years or so ago. Lol.  We always do a family photo for Christmas every year and I adore this tradition.  I mentioned it to dh the other day and he got grumpy about it and said whatever I wanted to do.  I said him that I thought he loved doing our Christmas photos and he said he has never like having to do pictures.  (Which is a total lie, he used to adore this back when we had 1-2 kids, but now we have 4 nothing is special or needs to be documented anymore according to his actions anyway. If it involves more than getting out of his chair and away from his phone/laptop/tv, he just doesn't care.  I'm darn close to getting one done of just the kids and me.  He says he likes looking at our pictures, but he isn't interested in doing them.  That's just dumb.  Sorry if I'm off topic a bit.  I also am struggling with my distant family too .   They all used to be so close and care so much. No one has time for anyone anymore.  No one cares.  No one does Christmas cards.  Blah.  I miss how things used to be 

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Ok, I said I wasn’t going to make a new thread about it, but we only have a small number of participants for the Hive Happy Holidays Card Exchange, so...I might. I might post a new thread with that title so we may get more participants. Good idea? 

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41 minutes ago, Quill said:

Ok, I said I wasn’t going to make a new thread about it, but we only have a small number of participants for the Hive Happy Holidays Card Exchange, so...I might. I might post a new thread with that title so we may get more participants. Good idea? 

Incoming decision!

*starts to hyperventilate*

😁

 

 

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On 11/12/2019 at 8:53 AM, Arctic Mama said:

Ah see we view the cards as our family newsletter to people who know us, especially those who we don’t have nearby anymore.  Since I don’t use Facebook that way and don’t send our anything else it’s where kid updates, birth announcements, etc happen.  A good chunk of our friends also do Christmas cards, which I love, but I don’t think we would stop the letter and card even if nobody reciprocated because I always hear from them how much they enjoyed reading our updates.  So they’re grateful, even if they don’t send out one, themselves.

We basically type a letter with pictures up and fold it into a standard card of our choice 🙂

This.

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