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Anyone else want to post their "parenting fails"?

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Anyone else want to post a "parent fail" moment? Mine a couple of  weeks ago was yelling at my 7th grader:

We are doing Story of the World 4- Modern History and are really behind because the Charter School we are enrolled in is overwhelmed with orders, so it took almost two months to get the book and activity book.  It is really easy for him, but he likes Modern History and I can group him with his younger brother. 

Me: Are you done with the Chapter 3 outline of Story of World [the activity sheet has blanks to complete the outline]? 

My son: No, the last part doesn't make sense?

Me: Seriously? It is really easy. This is just a quick review. 

My son: Well, I can't find the answer for the last ones. 

Me: So, re-read it, and keep re-reading it until you can. It is NOT hard, your younger brother already finished.  I have a youtube clip of the famous, "Dr. Livingstone, I presume" meeting. 

My son: I have no idea what you are talking about. It is NOT in this book

So this goes on and on and I am getting cranky because I know it is really easy for him. 

My son: Well, if it is so easy come over and find the answers because it isn't in the book. 

Me: Fine, I am going to show your how easy it is to find the answer.

So I go and read, then re-read, and ......... I can't find the stinkin' answer!

I look down at the page numbers and realize PAGES 33-80 are MISSING!   Ugh! There was a printing mix-up so I had to call to have them re-send a new book (which they immediately did and said they thought they caught all of the misprints). The answer wasn't in his book after all. 

So, of course, I apologize to my son, but still feel guilty how annoyed I got. Lesson learned- next time I will be more patient. 

 

 

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 I forgot there was early dismissal one day for my oldest when she was in elementary PS- I was on a teleconference and my secretary had to come in and tell me the school was on the phone- they'd dismissed 30 minutes ago and dd was waiting in the front office for me. 

That was 10 years ago and she's never let me live it down. "Hey, remember that time you forgot me at school?" 

After that the school instituted an automated reminder call the night before for every early dismissal day. 

 

Edited by Æthelthryth the Texan
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3 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

 I forgot there was early dismissal one day for my oldest when she was in elementary PS- I was on a teleconference and my secretary had to come in and tell me the school was on the phone- they'd dismissed 30 minutes ago and dd was waiting in the front office for me. 

That was 10 years ago and she's never let me live it down. "Hey, remember that time you forgot me at school?" 

After that the school instituted an automated reminder call the night before for every early dismissal day. 

 

When DD11 was in first grade, I forgot like 75 percent of the early dismissal days.  Thankfully I lived less than a quarter mile from the school so they would call and I would be there in less than 5 minutes.  But I don't know *why* I could not for the life of me remember those early dismissal days.  I mean they had like one or two each month!

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Lol 'Texan I can one-up that 😂...

I was taking dd to school one morning when I realized she was not.in.the.car. I was talking to her and she wasn't answering....

What happened was something like I decided to take my car instead of dh's because his gas was low, so I think I went back in from the garage to grab keys. I thought she had gotten out of his and into mine, and I drove off. (I am pretty sure she was too young to sit in the front.) I only got a bl9ck away and turned right around, but she was crying in the front yard when I returned. 

Never let me forget it!

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7 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

When DD11 was in first grade, I forgot like 75 percent of the early dismissal days.  Thankfully I lived less than a quarter mile from the school so they would call and I would be there in less than 5 minutes.  But I don't know *why* I could not for the life of me remember those early dismissal days.  I mean they had like one or two each month!

They do and they vary the times!! I'm glad I don't have to keep up with it anymore, or I'd forget people all the time, with every campus having varied start times, late start days, early dismissal days, etc. and none of them are at the same time.  I don't know how parents with kids with wide age spans handle it tbh. I couldn't. I'd move somewhere with one of those Village type schools where they're all on the same campus with the same start/stop times. They can't do that here because of buses or something I've heard. 

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1 hour ago, Nart said:

Anyone else want to post a "parent fail" moment? Mine a couple of  weeks ago was yelling at my 7th grader:

We are doing Story of the World 4- Modern History and are really behind because the Charter School we are enrolled in is overwhelmed with orders, so it took almost two months to get the book and activity book.  It is really easy for him, but he likes Modern History and I can group him with his younger brother. 

Me: Are you done with the Chapter 3 outline of Story of World [the activity sheet has blanks to complete the outline]? 

My son: No, the last part doesn't make sense?

Me: Seriously? It is really easy. This is just a quick review. 

My son: Well, I can't find the answer for the last ones. 

Me: So, re-read it, and keep re-reading it until you can. It is NOT hard, your younger brother already finished.  I have a youtube clip of the famous, "Dr. Livingstone, I presume" meeting. 

My son: I have no idea what you are talking about. It is NOT in this book

So this goes on and on and I am getting cranky because I know it is really easy for him. 

My son: Well, if it is so easy come over and find the answers because it isn't in the book. 

Me: Fine, I am going to show your how easy it is to find the answer.

So I go and read, then re-read, and ......... I can't find the stinkin' answer!

I look down at the page numbers and realize PAGES 33-80 are MISSING!   Ugh! There was a printing mix-up so I had to call to have them re-send a new book (which they immediately did and said they thought they caught all of the misprints). The answer wasn't in his book after all. 

So, of course, I apologize to my son, but still feel guilty how annoyed I got. Lesson learned- next time I will be more patient. 

 

 

To be fair, my kids can't find the end of their nose sometimes. Whatever they are taking 15 minutes to look for, I find in 15 seconds. So if that happened to me, I'd be right there with you saying the same thing. 

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My oldest dd is really fair, classic peaches and cream complexion. That's from dad's side of the family and something I had zero experience with. I was really good at sun protection, but I had no idea just how delicate her skin was. 

When she was a toddler, she had a bandaid on her back due to a spider bite. I was taking it off super gently and she was just whining like crazy. Well, rip off the bandaid, right? That's what they say, right? I did, and ripped off about multiple layers of skin! It was bloody and awful and traumatic. She still freaking remembers that. 

Related story, during her month of kindergarten her teacher was really new and young. She accidentally hit dd on the cheek with a folder, and she was practically in tears telling me about it because it left a big mark and that whole side of her face was red. I was like, eh, we're used to it, lol. 

Edited by katilac
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2 hours ago, hippiemamato3 said:

So, wait...how did younger brother do the right work?!

Good question! I had another SOTW Book 4 from the library, so the younger brother was using that copy. 

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5 minutes ago, katilac said:

My oldest dd is really fair, classic peaches and cream complexion. That's from dad's side of the family and something I had zero experience with. I was really good at sun protection, but I had no idea just how delicate her skin was. 

When she was a toddler, she had a bandaid on her back due to a spider bite. I was taking it off super gently and she was just whining like crazy. Well, rip off the bandaid, right? That's what they say, right? I did, and ripped off about multiple layers of skin! It was bloody and awful and traumatic. She still freaking remembers that. 

Related story, during her month of kindergarten her teacher was really new and young. She accidentally hit dd on the cheek with a folder, and she was practically in tears telling me about it because it left a big mark and that whole side of her face was red. I was like, eh, we're used to it, lol. 

Not quite my parenting fail but this reminded me...

When DD23 was like.................................8ish?  Maybe 7....she had a tooth that had this huge cavity and was abscessed and hurt.  (that part was my parenting fail DOH!)  Anyway, she had to have it pulled and we went to a family dental place that DD23 actually still uses to this day....she just had her last wisdom tooth out at the same place last week.

Anyway, SO we go in, they have her with the nose mask and gas, and they go pull the tooth out and it's totally fine.  She is totally cool.

THEN....................................she needs a spacer.  They have her sit for a bit, recover from the tooth pulling and the gas and Novocain and she's feeling pretty good.  And they go to do the mold for the spacer.  We explain everything, she's good to go they squish that gross mold material and modeler into her mouth, she was totally ready, except her gag reflex was NOT ready.  She nearly instantaneously threw up her entire lunch all over herself, the chair, the floor, and the hygienist.  The only reason she missed me was because I was standing behind her head.    The hygienist was completely unfazed, though DD burst into tears.  She kept reassuring DD that it happened all the time, she was totally used to it and really, they had DD totally cleaned up faster than I could have at home.  They didn't even try to reschedule at that point, they just said they would call the next day and they totally did.  Really, they handled it all really well, and like I said, DD23 still goes to the same dentist this day even though it's 45 minutes from her apartment and there are so many places that are closer.  The only reason DH and I don't still use them is because we live in another city and state.  

 

BUT, for *years* after that, every single time we drove by the office, which was basically like every day because it was within a mile of our house, DD would say "remember that was the place I threw up?    Remember when they made me throw up there?'  For a while, I was afraid I wouldn't ever be able to get her to the dentist again.  

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2 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

 She nearly instantaneously threw up her entire lunch all over herself, the chair, the floor, and the hygienist.   

This is one of the many reasons I am totally fine with my dentist and hygienist making bank, lol. 

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6 minutes ago, katilac said:

This is one of the many reasons I am totally fine with my dentist and hygienist making bank, lol. 

Right?!?!   I mean, I have 4 kids, have done daycare for all ages, and have been a kids photographer in a commercial studio, so I have dealt with plenty of puke.  But, I imagine that dental offices deal with a lot more.  I am 42 and gag when they do bite wing X rays...I imagine any dentist who works with kids deals with so much more puke!

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I put the wrong birth date for my ds on an important government form. They sent it back and then wanted super duper confirmation (birth certificates, the whole nine yards). My ds found out, so now he wonders if I really even know his birthday... 

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I didn't get an eye exam for one of my kids until he was in about third grade. When he got his new glasses, they were "Coke bottle thick". The eye doctor was in a plaza that had a HUGE sign out front and my son said, "Wow! I can read that sign now!" I felt so bad that I didn't realize the poor kid couldn't see across the room.

When I had an infant, toddler, tween, and two teens, I was always running things through my head trying to remember where everyone was and when they needed to be picked up and dropped off. I did forget one child once and he waited a half hour before I remembered him.

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17 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

I put the wrong birth date for my ds on an important government form. They sent it back and then wanted super duper confirmation (birth certificates, the whole nine yards). My ds found out, so now he wonders if I really even know his birthday... 

This made me 😂.

Son, it's time you knew. Your Dad and I were spies....it was part of our cover. 

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My father once forgot me at the bus stop after a half day. I was stuck there for three hours with only one book. It happens! If he'd known it was a half day he wouldn't've even sent me - we lived pretty far from the school, and he never saw the point of making a long trip to the bus stop for three hours when nothing would get done that day anyway. (I made the mistake of telling this to the kids once and they asked why I, therefore, made them go on half days. Kids, you lived ten minutes from school. Totally different!)

As for parenting fails, I'm gonna say the entirety of the 2016-2017 school year. My mother was sick with cancer that year and pretty much no schoolwork got done at all by the second half of the year (not that much got done the first half) and the kids were left to their own devices (read: their screens) an awful lot. If I'd known that would happen we probably would've made different choices at the start of our homeschooling-for-middle-school plan. At least I managed the god-awful NYC high school admissions process with the older kiddo and got them into a good high school. For a few months, that ate up even more of my brain than the cancer!

That year was so bad. I never, ever want to repeat it. Ever.

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My mom visited us in May and freaked out about the lump on my 13 yr old's neck. I was like, "What lump?" Turns out, DD has a huge thyroid nodule that I'd (somehow!) not noticed. I looked back at last year's Christmas pictures and it was visible then. Smh. Sorry kiddo. Thankfully, it's benign, though she does go in for surgery to remove it in 2 weeks.

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Although I guess the fact that we survived and the older kid did well enough in school after going back for high school meant that when the younger kiddo entered 8th grade and ended up deciding to spend the year sketching for six hours a day (carefully researching and developing a course of study for herself with the help of the library and youtube) I was able to trust this decision enough to let her do it on the grounds that she was at grade level academically. We still did some work, just not much. And even though that's a bit of an odd choice it seems to have worked well for her and her artwork is really amazing and she, too, is flourishing in high school and doing well on her tests and quizzes.

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My older son, when he was like 10, was convinced that his middle name was Oscar.  It is not Oscar.

Edited by EKS
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Yesterday the church nursery leader commented that most of the kids in the room were three years old--except for my ds. I corrected her and said that ds had turned three in May. She looked surprised and said they must have his birth year wrong on the rolls. At which point my brain apparently flipped on and I realized that no, ds did not turn three this past May. He turned two.

My only excuse is that he is as big as or bigger than most of the other kids in the nursery.

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Well not the same but yesterday I declared myself a failure because my 16 yo calls me “dawg”. Like “thanks for lunch, dawg.” 
 

My 19 yo and 21 yo sons call me by my first name. Not to my face...usually...but sometimes.

I am totally not the kind of mom you call by her first name. Or call “dawg”. 

I have much bigger and more serious failures but this is the one we were most recently discussing. 
 

(I am sure some will be horrified by my kids talking to me this way. I assure you it is playful and not horrid. But it is funny because I always was pretty authoritative and expected respect. And now they call me “dawg”)

 

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1 hour ago, mom2scouts said:

I didn't get an eye exam for one of my kids until he was in about third grade. When he got his new glasses, they were "Coke bottle thick". The eye doctor was in a plaza that had a HUGE sign out front and my son said, "Wow! I can read that sign now!" I felt so bad that I didn't realize the poor kid couldn't see across the room.

My parents did the same thing with my sister. After she got her glasses, she came home and watched TV and said, "Wow, I can see their faces!"

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My almost 16 year old has gone from straight A’s and loving school to so anxious and depressed it was making her suicidal.  With pretty much no in between.  And she’s not really functioning well enough to really homeschool either.  She’s just kinda subsisting.  

Pretty major fail.  

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Of course, my husband left our oldest in her car seat in a Circuit City when she was two weeks old.  Got to the car before his friend remembered that they had a baby with them.  

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25 minutes ago, Terabith said:

My almost 16 year old has gone from straight A’s and loving school to so anxious and depressed it was making her suicidal.  With pretty much no in between.  And she’s not really functioning well enough to really homeschool either.  She’s just kinda subsisting.  

Pretty major fail.  


I am so sorry.  Mental illness isn’t caused by parenting failure, with very few exceptions.  I have read enough of your posts to know that your daughter is lucky to have you.

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2 hours ago, rebcoola said:

Once last year I dropped middle Dd off for her violin lesson without her violin 🤦🏼‍♀️

So you don’t feel you’re the only one who has done stuff like that...Once I drove 45 minutes to drop my son off at a science class.  It wasn’t until he hopped out of the car that I noticed he was wearing his Thomas the Tank Engine slippers.

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One day, when my son was 5, I drove him to Taekwondo class in his swimming clothes and escorted him the floor before realizing my mistake because I was on autopilot and knew that he had to be at some class that day! All the other 5 year olds had a good laugh and he is still is offended many years later. 

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2 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

This made me 😂.

Son, it's time you knew. Your Dad and I were spies....it was part of our cover. 

That would explain to him why I speak russian. :biggrin:

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13 minutes ago, Annie G said:

So you don’t feel you’re the only one who has done stuff like that...Once I drove 45 minutes to drop my son off at a science class.  It wasn’t until he hopped out of the car that I noticed he was wearing his Thomas the Tank Engine slippers.

Oh we regularly get to things and find she is not wearing shoes.  It’s not even just a summer problem.

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45 minutes ago, Terabith said:

My almost 16 year old has gone from straight A’s and loving school to so anxious and depressed it was making her suicidal.  With pretty much no in between.  And she’s not really functioning well enough to really homeschool either.  She’s just kinda subsisting.  

Pretty major fail.  

This is not a parenting fail, unless you have developed a method to directly control the function of your child's brain.

I would call it "life sometimes hits us with sheer cliffs instead of speedbumps."

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The other day, I overheard my 12 year old patiently trying to explain Christmas to his younger brother, who joined our family on Dec 23rd last year.

DS1:  Your presents are surprises.  You make a list but you don’t know what you’re getting until Christmas morning.

DS2:  Except DS3.  He knows. 

DS1:  No he doesn’t, how would he know?

DS2:  Dad told him.  

DS1:  There’s no way, that makes no sense.  Dad would never tell.

DS2: I heard him.

DS1: Wait, what did he say?

DS2: He said “You are getting a lawnmower.”  

DS1: Oh, no Dad is not actually getting him a lawnmower.  He just said that to tease DS3.  (Note for years my DH has told my kids they are getting a lawnmower for Christmas every time they ask)

DS2:  Dad doesn’t lie.  I can trust him.  You told me that.  He’s getting DS3 a lawnmower.  

DS1:  You can trust him.  Dad’s really honest.  He tells the truth, except about lawnmowers and Christmas.  Why would he get DS3 a lawnmower?  DS3 isn’t even old enough to mow the lawn!

DS2:  You aren’t supposed to lie to your kids.  

DS1:  Well no, but  . . .

The conversation went around in circles, eventually I jumped in and then the three of us went in circles.  There just seemed to be no way that my son could make sense of this.  So, now, apparently my kid thinks his father is a liar.

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45 minutes ago, Annie G said:

So you don’t feel you’re the only one who has done stuff like that...Once I drove 45 minutes to drop my son off at a science class.  It wasn’t until he hopped out of the car that I noticed he was wearing his Thomas the Tank Engine slippers.


I once brought my kid home from the ski hill wearing his snowboarding boots, and leaving his only pair of shoes behind.  The next day, I sent him to school in the snowboarding boots.  When my DH got off work the next morning he stopped at Target to get shoes to drop off.  The teacher was very amused.

ETA:  my kid was probably really grateful he isn’t a skier.

Edited by CuriousMomof3
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14 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

 I forgot there was early dismissal one day for my oldest when she was in elementary PS- I was on a teleconference and my secretary had to come in and tell me the school was on the phone- they'd dismissed 30 minutes ago and dd was waiting in the front office for me. 

That was 10 years ago and she's never let me live it down. "Hey, remember that time you forgot me at school?" 

After that the school instituted an automated reminder call the night before for every early dismissal day. 

 

I dropped my kindergartner off for the last day of school, not realizing that K's didn't attend that partial day.  Went to pick him up at the appointed time. School didn't even call for me to pick him up or I would have.:blink:

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My “school schedule fail” was when I took my firstborn to B&M school for the very first day in her life, beginning of 9th grade and dropped her off at a virtually empty school. I had known there was a high school retreat at this private school, but it simply never occurred to me that every high schooler goes on retreat! There was NO WAY in the world I was going to send my quiet, alway-homeschooled daughter away to camp with total strangers for a week as her first “school” experience! I felt like such an idiot. One of the moms was actually annoyed with me - “ Well, that is the *point*! For them to make friends with kids they don’t know!” 

In my defense, I had checked the online school calendar repeatedly and that day was listed as “First day of school”. Basically, I just didn’t realize the entire high school goes to the retreat. 

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I made the appt for oldest’s driving test and wrote down the wrong date. We showed up a day late and instead of being able to get right in, we had to wait standby and hope someone else was a no-show or cancelled. It added a couple of hours to our DMV day. 

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A couple of years ago I took ds for his routine, every-6-weeks haircut. The hairdresser took one look and said, "When did he cut his hair?!" 

Apparently he'd cut a big chunk off the top of his head and I hadn't even noticed.

ETA: ds does NOT have long hair!

Edited by PeachyDoodle
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The first post reminds me of high school.  In first year French the teacher was getting angry that no one could translate what was written on the board.  Finally someone had the nerve to say "I think that might be German."  Oops!

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18 hours ago, unsinkable said:

parenting fails = most of 2012-2017

kidding/not kidding LOL

This is kind of how I feel lately.....kid #2 just went to college "away from home" (ha; he's home every weekend) and let's just say, neither boy is doing super great. DH said "We seriously did not prepare them to survive away from home....." Talk about a punch in the gut (he has no idea I took it the way I did, and he didn't mean it that way, but.....oof.)

13 hours ago, Terabith said:

My almost 16 year old has gone from straight A’s and loving school to so anxious and depressed it was making her suicidal.  With pretty much no in between.  And she’s not really functioning well enough to really homeschool either.  She’s just kinda subsisting.  

Pretty major fail.  

My oldest is coming out of a major depression and middle battling anxiety. When we finally took oldest for therapy, after he came in our room one night admitting to suicidal thoughts, he eventually blurted out "why on earth did you wait so long?!" (to get him help)

No amount of reasoning through all of our explanations on that, no matter how logical/reasonable our actions had been all along, would convince him (or heck, me, after he said that) that we hadn't been deeply at fault. 

He is to a point now, a few years down the road from the original appointment, that we're starting to see the him that he was before this started.......I hope & pray you get there again soon with your dd. Hugs & prayers, in the meantime. It's so insanely hard. 

13 hours ago, maize said:

This is not a parenting fail, unless you have developed a method to directly control the function of your child's brain.

I would call it "life sometimes hits us with sheer cliffs instead of speedbumps."

....and now I'm crying too. We've spent the last few years feeling like we're scaling (and having the rope cut) the cliffs of insanity......this feels like Inigo lowering the rope. I know this was meant for Terabith, but......thank you a million thank yous. 

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so....ours, serious and not.....

....right now, the biggie is that we let oldest DS take tons of stuff at the community college during/after high school. He had no idea what he wanted to do (still really doesn't). He took a TON of stuff, a lot of which won't be used/applied to his degree. 

We found out when he eventually transferred into a 4-yr university that our state has a law against too many excess credit hours (which *includes* all attempted hours, not just completed hours. Which means if you drop due to a bad grade, then retake that class, it's now 6 hrs or 8 hrs instead of 3 or 4....). Once you exceed your degree plan by 30 hours or more, *including attempted hours* you may be charged out of state tuition. 

It is highly likely his final year will cost us/him double, thanks to this. (it does exclude stuff taken in high school, which saves him some, but it also includes full withdrawn semesters, even though those don't count as drops. It also includes drops/retakes. It is freaking ridiculous and is just one of many state laws we've learned about that make no sense and serve no purpose other than to penalize students/parents who are already paying more as it is.....).

....on a non-serious note, though, when youngest was around 5 or 6 or so, he asked us if Jesus was real or made up. This was at Christmas, and we were discussing the Christmas story, and he had no clue. That was awesome. (we are Christians, so, big time fail.....). 

....same kid, same year, also then asked about Lent and the concept of giving things up for Lent. We don't actually practice that, but we explained the concept to him. He wanted to give up school. Ha. Fun times....

.....then of course, first sunburn of the year every year. :sigh: Youngest is soooo fair, and burns sooo easily (even more than me) and every year, first pool day of the year, I'd forget and he'd end up so red and so sore and I'd feel so bad......

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2 hours ago, TheReader said:

so....ours, serious and not.....

....right now, the biggie is that we let oldest DS take tons of stuff at the community college during/after high school. He had no idea what he wanted to do (still really doesn't). He took a TON of stuff, a lot of which won't be used/applied to his degree. 

We found out when he eventually transferred into a 4-yr university that our state has a law against too many excess credit hours (which *includes* all attempted hours, not just completed hours. Which means if you drop due to a bad grade, then retake that class, it's now 6 hrs or 8 hrs instead of 3 or 4....). Once you exceed your degree plan by 30 hours or more, *including attempted hours* you may be charged out of state tuition. 

It is highly likely his final year will cost us/him double, thanks to this. (it does exclude stuff taken in high school, which saves him some, but it also includes full withdrawn semesters, even though those don't count as drops. It also includes drops/retakes. It is freaking ridiculous and is just one of many state laws we've learned about that make no sense and serve no purpose other than to penalize students/parents who are already paying more as it is.....).

....on a non-serious note, though, when youngest was around 5 or 6 or so, he asked us if Jesus was real or made up. This was at Christmas, and we were discussing the Christmas story, and he had no clue. That was awesome. (we are Christians, so, big time fail.....). 

....same kid, same year, also then asked about Lent and the concept of giving things up for Lent. We don't actually practice that, but we explained the concept to him. He wanted to give up school. Ha. Fun times....

.....then of course, first sunburn of the year every year. :sigh: Youngest is soooo fair, and burns sooo easily (even more than me) and every year, first pool day of the year, I'd forget and he'd end up so red and so sore and I'd feel so bad......


 

Real and pretend are so confusing when  you are 5 or 6.  I used to teach Kindergarten.  The first year I read the kids several picture biographies of Dr. King.  One of the kids was like “I hope this one has a happy ending”.  When I tried to explain that all biographies of Dr. King end the same way, the kids were baffled.  They wanted to know why the authors “copycatted”.  
 

When my oldest was about the same age, I showed him the Veggie Tales movie of Jonah.  I explained to him that some Christians like me believe it is an important story that God told us so we could learn from it, but not historically true, while other Christians like our neighbor Mrs. X believe it’s historical fact, and that over time he’d figure what he believed.

So, he told his Grandfather that I told him that he could decide whether he believed in talking asparagus or not.

So, we had a long conversation, and read the story of Jonah in a couple children’s bibles and I thought we had it sorted 
 

A new family, who isn’t Christian, moved into the neighborhood.  My kid pulled him aside and showed him the Bible and told him “This book is totally true, except the vegetables.  Me and Mrs. X  believe that it was a MAN who was friends with the talking caterpillar.

That was an awkward conversation with the brand new neighbor parent!

 

 

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Oldest DD was 5 and I got her started taking a bath, then got busy doing other things and forgot she was in there. Half an hour later I realized I hadn't seen her in a while and found her asleep in the tub with her head hanging down just a few inches from the water 😨

2nd DS was 14 and had to sign a waiver for a white water rafting trip and he didn't know how to write his birth date correctly in month/day/year form.

Pretty much all of oldest DS's 11-12 years.

I'm quite sure there are more if I think about it a while. 

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4 hours ago, TheReader said:

DH said "We seriously did not prepare them to survive away from home....."

I get so tired of the male parent assuming that we could have done something better. At some point, it's just the kid. It's their mix, their struggles, what they had to learn. And it's no shock that kids need to learn things or do dumb things or are immature or screw up, and it doesn't mean we did something wrong if they are less mature than their peers. I've had people imply this, like my dd's challenges are because I whatever. And I'm like shove it somewhere, because I'm really tired of it. She is who she is, she has her growth curve, and she needs time to learn her lessons. My mother wasn't around taking flack from people when I was immature at this age, my lands. But no, because we homeschooled, it's OUR FAULT if our kids aren't super human and mature beyond their nature and genetics?

It's just really hard to push back against. Like nope, she's a kid, she's gonna grow in her time, it's ok, lay off, it's her life and she's got to live it. It doesn't mean I did something wrong. And in fact, it's the epitome of incorrect hindsight to think we were so wow at that age and our kids aren't. I know one parent in our house is like nope, never messed up, never did anything wrong, nothing. And I'm like nope, not me, lol. I was seriously crazy at that age, lol. I'm only half crazy now. :biggrin:

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Oh there was the one where my dd moved out, like packed a suitcase and went to her grandma's at the bottom of the hill to go live with her. Was she 7? I don't remember how old. We didn't notice it for a while, and we got this call like hey do you want your kid back? 

And the worst part is, were we allowed to say no? :biggrin:

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5 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

I get so tired of the male parent assuming that we could have done something better. At some point, it's just the kid. It's their mix, their struggles, what they had to learn. And it's no shock that kids need to learn things or do dumb things or are immature or screw up, and it doesn't mean we did something wrong if they are less mature than their peers. I've had people imply this, like my dd's challenges are because I whatever. And I'm like shove it somewhere, because I'm really tired of it. She is who she is, she has her growth curve, and she needs time to learn her lessons. My mother wasn't around taking flack from people when I was immature at this age, my lands. But no, because we homeschooled, it's OUR FAULT if our kids aren't super human and mature beyond their nature and genetics?

It's just really hard to push back against. Like nope, she's a kid, she's gonna grow in her time, it's ok, lay off, it's her life and she's got to live it. It doesn't mean I did something wrong. And in fact, it's the epitome of incorrect hindsight to think we were so wow at that age and our kids aren't. I know one parent in our house is like nope, never messed up, never did anything wrong, nothing. And I'm like nope, not me, lol. I was seriously crazy at that age, lol. I'm only half crazy now. :biggrin:

Well, Dh didn't actually mean it that way at all. Both of us have bouts of self doubt, self incriminating, wondering, what-iffing, "holy cow are they ever going to get their acts together", and "if we'd just done abc when they were doing xyz, maybe things would be different...." We take turns being the one to what if and cast doubt and blame vs. being the one talking the other down off the ledge and back to reality. This time it was just his turn to freak out, my turn to talk him down. Next time, it'll be reversed. 

I just took it harder, since he phrased it that way this time, as the stay-home, homeschooling parent. He fully meant we, and also doesn't actually believe that anyway; for a moment, I heard "me" in that we, and did believe it. But only for a moment; we chatted, it was fine. 

But I gotta say, learning to believe this, that they are who they are, and that they will one day grow up and survive this.....oof. I wish that were a one-time lesson, you heard it once and believed it forever, no matter what. 

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5 hours ago, TheReader said:

...on a non-serious note, though, when youngest was around 5 or 6 or so, he asked us if Jesus was real or made up. This was at Christmas, and we were discussing the Christmas story, and he had no clue. That was awesome. (we are Christians, so, big time fail.....). 

 

So, we should have been prepared for my oldest to have depression and anxiety, because literally everyone else in the family does.  But she had no signs of it until a year ago, which coincided with her starting public school, which she said over and over that she loved.  So we took her to the doctor and begged for antidepressants, because we knew she needed them then, but the doctor said, "Let's get her vitamin D up.   Let's get her a counselor."  Literally....wasted a year.  But same doctor offered us antidepressants for my younger kid at four.  Should have taken him up on that then.  We waited till five, but she responded fast and well.  But the kid was seriously, majorly anxious from birth.  At age three, we were lying in bed and she said, "I'm scared of monsters."  I told her, "You don't have to be scared of monsters.  They aren't real, and we will protect you."  She said, "So, if monsters, which I can't see or hear or touch aren't real, is Santa real?  There's no more evidence for Santa than there is for monsters."  So that's how we came to tell her about Santa.  Which led to the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy.  And then she said, "So, then, God's not real, either, then.  Or at least there's no way to tell for sure if He is real."  Definitively.  

I tried to explain.  But...she's an Aspie.  That's how my three year old became an agnostic.  

I literally have an M.Div.  We are REALLY religious.  And my kid was a skeptic from toddlerhood.

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2 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Oh there was the one where my dd moved out, like packed a suitcase and went to her grandma's at the bottom of the hill to go live with her. Was she 7? I don't remember how old. We didn't notice it for a while, and we got this call like hey do you want your kid back? 

And the worst part is, were we allowed to say no? :biggrin:

When I was around that age I told my Mom i was going to leave and go live with my bio dad (which was seriously unrealistic plan on my part which I guess she knew).

Her response was "let me help you pack!" and got out the suitcase which was NOT the response I was expecting and sort of shut that down in it's tracks. I was very much 😳in the moment.

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