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MaBelle

I will lie right through my teeth....

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this Thanksgiving if my sil says she is going to bring her dressing.  There is no way I'm going to serve that mushy, sluicey, gooey goop this year.  Last year son in law could barely stand the smell of it on the table.  It's nasty, got oysters in it.  Her mother made it too.  Enough years of this.  It reminds me of cat hairballs.

"No, thanks but someone has already asked to make the dressing this year."

I guess it won't really be a lie because I'm asking to make it myself!!!

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22 minutes ago, MaBelle said:

this Thanksgiving if my sil says she is going to bring her dressing.  There is no way I'm going to serve that mushy, sluicey, gooey goop this year.  Last year son in law could barely stand the smell of it on the table.  It's nasty, got oysters in it.  Her mother made it too.  Enough years of this.  It reminds me of cat hairballs.

"No, thanks but someone has already asked to make the dressing this year."

I guess it won't really be a lie because I'm asking to make it myself!!!

 

I love a good oyster dressing. Key word, good. The one you describe sounds awful! You are not lying - you already have a plan in place to serve another not-hers dressing. 

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3 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Is Oyster dressing a Yankee thing?  I think we'd all die if there were oysters in our stuffing. I'd lie too. 

It’s a Pacific Northwest thing for sure. My grandma used to make it.

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6 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

It’s a Pacific Northwest thing for sure. My grandma used to make it.

I spent 47 years in the PNW having Thanksgiving with many different people and thankfully never came across an oyster dressing. I’ve never heard of it.  OP, I’d lie as well; that sounds disgusting....and I like oysters... but in a dressing? No. 🤮

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25 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Is Oyster dressing a Yankee thing?  I think we'd all die if there were oysters in our stuffing. I'd lie too. 

 

Coastal south

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5 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

 

Coastal south

Huh. I guess maybe in Texas we don't qualify as "south" on our coast, because this is totally not something I've seen. I'm going to have to canvas my friends and ask! 

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8 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Huh. I guess maybe in Texas we don't qualify as "south" on our coast, because this is totally not something I've seen. I'm going to have to canvas my friends and ask! 

 

My recipe is generations old - a lot of European oyster fisherman migrated to south Louisiana and Mississippi. Maybe it’s just a niche?

i promise you, though, there’s nothing “sloshy” about it! One does have to like oysters to appreciate it, I’ll give you that. 

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OKAY WAIT.  Somebody explain this to me.  Is it like inside-the-Turkey stuffing with oysters?!  That’s horrific and I don’t understand.

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7 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

OKAY WAIT.  Somebody explain this to me.  Is it like inside-the-Turkey stuffing with oysters?!  That’s horrific and I don’t understand.

 

Yes, it’s a thing. I’ve never put it in the bird, it’s a dressing rather than a stuffing.

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016944-lucy-buffetts-oyster-dressing

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016944-lucy-buffetts-oyster-dressing

The second recipe is like mine, it must be made with day old French bread. It’s funny to me that this link is from a PNW site. 

Baked correctly, it shouldn’t be a sloshy mess. That’s over wet and/or undercooked. IME, shrimp dressing is much easier and more widely appealing. 

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I've never cooked or been served oysters in dressing, but I've seen lots of recipes for it over the years. 

OP, you lie the way I do. It's not lying at all.  If I was still having Thanksgiving (or any holiday) dinner with my sister, I would be lying all the time because I don't like the things she cooks. But then she would be lying all the time too, because I make things she finds horrifying.  "Kale gratin? KALE? On Christmas?"  

Best that we are too far apart geographically to share holidays. But it's also OK to like and dislike different things. 

 

Edited by marbel

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We started hosting Thanksgiving when DH and I bought our first hours.  We cooked the turkey, and assigned sides to everyone.  By the time we got to SIL and her DH, I was kind of running out of sides because everyone had things they wanted to bring.  My mom was bringing stuffing and pies, so SIL said "well, I can bring pumpkin bread and some sausage and oyster dressing."  And I was like, um ok.  I knew what her pumpkin bread was from the year before when we went to Thanksgiving at her ILs house.  But I had literally never heard of sausage dressing, oyster dressing, or sausage and oyster dressing....I only bare that by "dressing" she meant "stuffing."  Turns out it was two different dressings, one sausage and one oyster.

No one else in my family had any idea what she had brought.  I don't think anyone touched it.  I kind of felt bad, and I tried to choke it down, but it was so dry it was like crutons....with oysters.   She never did volunteer to bring it again.  She does however bring pumpkin bread every year, that stuff is great!  And then I also usually ask her to get some 2 liters or something.  

 

 

All of this reminds me, I need to finish assigning dishes.  My brother wasn't at my DD11's party yesterday and my sister was there but was only barely functioning.

 

 

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My uncle made an oyster dressing that was amazing. It had mushrooms - usually wild morels - and cornbread, and the usual aromatics and some herbs. This was 30 years ago, and I've never seen another oyster dressing that has looked good to me, ever since.

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I’ve never had it but after this conversation, I want to try it. We celebrate Thanksgiving with friends and last year, the dressings weren’t that good. One was Stove Top, with added bacon😳then crisped on the grill. Zero stars, IMHO. The next, made by my DD’s, MIL, some family favorite but not to my taste. I never make or eat dressing unless it’s a holiday. I’m thinking I need to change this🧐

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3 hours ago, HSmomof2 said:

I spent 47 years in the PNW having Thanksgiving with many different people and thankfully never came across an oyster dressing. I’ve never heard of it.  OP, I’d lie as well; that sounds disgusting....and I like oysters... but in a dressing? No. 🤮

 

Where my family settled on the coast, literally going back to the turn of the century, there were many Scandinavian immigrants. Oysters, pickled fish and other things were part of the local diet. My family members all enjoy raw oysters and my grandpa and grandma always made oyster dressing. I, personally, never touched the stuff. My Dad's mother taught my mom to cook and there was nary an oyster in sight.

Edited by Sneezyone

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2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

OKAY WAIT.  Somebody explain this to me.  Is it like inside-the-Turkey stuffing with oysters?!  That’s horrific and I don’t understand.

 

It's typically a side dish not cooked inside the bird.

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I grew up with oyster dressing in coastal NC -- my grandma made it. And though I never ate it, I don't remember it looking so very wet or repulsive...or smelling.

And as far as dressing vs. stuffing, I've never actually seen anyone cook/serve/put it inside the turkey. It's always a side dish. 

Edited by alisoncooks
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1 hour ago, alisoncooks said:

 

And as far as dressing vs. stuffing, I've never actually seen anyone cook/serve/put it inside the turkey. It's always a side dish. 

My moms recipe came from my grandma and it makes a *massive* amount. Our family, immediate and extended tends towards more people for holidays.   So the original recipe that I know was meant to BOTH stuff the bird and be a side dish.  Even in a 25 to 30lb bird, there is really only so much stuffing you can shove in there.   So the recipe originally included directions to both stuff the bird AND bake as a side dish.  That was how I grew up with it, which is probably where some of my uncertainty regarding “stuffing” vs “dressing” comes from.  In my family it was always both. 

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1 minute ago, happysmileylady said:

 That was how I grew up with it, which is probably where some of my uncertainty regarding “stuffing” vs “dressing” comes from.  In my family it was always both. 

Oh, sorry, I wasn't necessarily responding to your use of the word. It was a general reflection on the term (which is used pretty interchangeably in my circle). 😛 I've never actually seen anyone put ANY sort of dressing/stuffing inside the turkey, except on tv!

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3 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Oh, sorry, I wasn't necessarily responding to your use of the word. It was a general reflection on the term (which is used pretty interchangeably in my circle). 😛 I've never actually seen anyone put ANY sort of dressing/stuffing inside the turkey, except on tv!

No biggie, I was just explaining why I get so confused sometimes about which word.  It’s the same thing to me.  

We don’t put it in the bird anymore.   In our family, mom brings it in a 13x9 casserole an DH smokes the turkey in his pit barrel starting early.  

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2 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

 

It's typically a side dish not cooked inside the bird.

That is only marginally less horrifying, but I admit the shellfish allergy has soured me on oysters, I used to love them smoked.

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19 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

My moms recipe came from my grandma and it makes a *massive* amount. Our family, immediate and extended tends towards more people for holidays.   So the original recipe that I know was meant to BOTH stuff the bird and be a side dish.  Even in a 25 to 30lb bird, there is really only so much stuffing you can shove in there.   So the recipe originally included directions to both stuff the bird AND bake as a side dish.  That was how I grew up with it, which is probably where some of my uncertainty regarding “stuffing” vs “dressing” comes from.  In my family it was always both. 

Us too. It’s inside the bird and side dish because of the amount, but the inside the bird stuffing is always better - it absorbs all the day and juices 😋 

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4 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

We started hosting Thanksgiving when DH and I bought our first hours.  We cooked the turkey, and assigned sides to everyone.  By the time we got to SIL and her DH, I was kind of running out of sides because everyone had things they wanted to bring.  My mom was bringing stuffing and pies, so SIL said "well, I can bring pumpkin bread and some sausage and oyster dressing."  And I was like, um ok.  I knew what her pumpkin bread was from the year before when we went to Thanksgiving at her ILs house.  But I had literally never heard of sausage dressing, oyster dressing, or sausage and oyster dressing....I only bare that by "dressing" she meant "stuffing."  Turns out it was two different dressings, one sausage and one oyster.

No one else in my family had any idea what she had brought.  I don't think anyone touched it.  I kind of felt bad, and I tried to choke it down, but it was so dry it was like crutons....with oysters.   She never did volunteer to bring it again.  She does however bring pumpkin bread every year, that stuff is great!  And then I also usually ask her to get some 2 liters or something.  

 

 

All of this reminds me, I need to finish assigning dishes.  My brother wasn't at my DD11's party yesterday and my sister was there but was only barely functioning.

 

 

I am hosting this year and I don’t assign dishes. People respond with what they would like to bring. In the next couple days, I am going to send out a summary email and the couple people who haven’t offered yet can pick from the remaining categories or items. 

 

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1 hour ago, Arctic Mama said:

Us too. It’s inside the bird and side dish because of the amount, but the inside the bird stuffing is always better - it absorbs all the day and juices 😋 

Same. I've started drizzling turkey drippings over the stuffing in the side dish to compensate, with or without a bit of melted butter. 

My dad mixes them together after cooking in one giant bowl - otherwise everyone eats the in bird stuff and no one eats the other 

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2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

Us too. It’s inside the bird and side dish because of the amount, but the inside the bird stuffing is always better - it absorbs all the day and juices 😋 

The recipe my mom uses (which she has had to modify since she doesn't cook the bird anymore) involves basting the 13X9 WITH the cooking juices as it bakes.  

Now that she doesn't cook the bird anymore, she usually just uses a boxed chicken stock for the "basting."  I make turkey stock throughout the year and freeze it, so if she gets here with the stuffing early enough, we use the homemade stock to add that little bit of extra.

 

 

As an aside, my mom has a special GIANT stainless steel mixing bowl that she uses almost exclusively for this stuffing.  It is at least 15in diameter, and it might be larger.  She has to keep it on a shelf in the garage because it won't fit in her cabinets.  The only other thing she uses it for is apple slices (apple pie baked on a cookie sheet, not a 9in pie plate.)  Otherwise, it hangs out on the shelf.  Because of how big a bowl required for mixing this.....I don't think I could make it without making this very special purchase myself.  Once all my own kids start having grandkids, I might have to go there (or just take mom's bowl from her.

 

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11 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Huh. I guess maybe in Texas we don't qualify as "south" on our coast, because this is totally not something I've seen. I'm going to have to canvas my friends and ask! 

"Coastal South" usually means Atlantic Ocean coastal south, not Gulf of Mexico coastal. 🙂

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25 minutes ago, Ellie said:

"Coastal South" usually means Atlantic Ocean coastal south, not Gulf of Mexico coastal. 🙂

 

Well I am a Gulf Coaster (raised on the gulf coast) and we say Coastal South, so..... It distinguishes us from the Deep South; once you hit the coast there’s a different feel.

Maybe Texas people don’t use that term? I’ve heard it and used it in every state from Louisiana to Florida. 

Edited by Seasider too
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Our ‘family recipe’ for dressing is so bad, pasty, horrible (albeit with no oysters) that I can’t stand it.

Ditto the one for applesauce cake, which is dry, not very sweet, and utterly a waste of calories.

Alas, both are traditional and non-negotiable.

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5 hours ago, Ellie said:

Yes, exactly. I don’t want to be like Marney. And I have one relative who is like Marney, so even less do I want to be like that. 

Fortunately, there are no tragic cooks in our family; most do pretty well, at least with a few items, and the one avowed hate-to-cook person has the good sense to bring rolls or something. 

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We have had Thanksgiving for 10 years with another family.  We have loved it every year, but my kids begged to not go last year, and I welcomed the opportunity to make it a low key, quite, simple Thansgiving at home.  

We said we were going out of town, and that was the original plan, but plans changed and we ended up alone, at home, and didn't tell our friends.  I don't really consider it lying, since it was true at the time we said it.

And I don't consider your plan lying.  Your SIL has asked that you make it.  There ya go.

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Are you hosting?  I think it's fair as the hostess to say "If you'd like to bring something, bring A,B, or C.   I have everything else covered."  And that does sound very gross!

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9 hours ago, Seasider too said:

 

Well I am a Gulf Coaster (raised on the gulf coast) and we say Coastal South, so..... It distinguishes us from the Deep South; once you hit the coast there’s a different feel.

Maybe Texas people don’t use that term? I’ve heard it and used it in every state from Louisiana to Florida. 

I live in Texas, although not on the coast (Austin area), and I've never heard it used.

I don't know the difference between "coastal south" and "deep south." o_0 I'm originally from Norfolk, Virginia, and have spent much time on the OBX because I have family there, too.

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21 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Huh. I guess maybe in Texas we don't qualify as "south" on our coast, because this is totally not something I've seen. I'm going to have to canvas my friends and ask! 

Alabama doesn't count either.  My grandma would say  "I never heard of such of thing in all my born days!"

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2 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said:

Are you hosting?  I think it's fair as the hostess to say "If you'd like to bring something, bring A,B, or C.   I have everything else covered."  And that does sound very gross!

Yep. I always host Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We have the biggest family and the most room so family singles and such just come here. 

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16 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

Oh, sorry, I wasn't necessarily responding to your use of the word. It was a general reflection on the term (which is used pretty interchangeably in my circle). 😛 I've never actually seen anyone put ANY sort of dressing/stuffing inside the turkey, except on tv!

It was tradition in my family to stuff the bird. We always had both stuffing (cooked in the turkey) and dressing but the reason was because we all love it and the amount in the turkey was never enough. Hence, we always made extra on the side. These days it's only dressing, but it's only been about the last 10 years or so we stopped stuffing the turkey.

10 hours ago, Ellie said:

"Coastal South" usually means Atlantic Ocean coastal south, not Gulf of Mexico coastal. 🙂

Yeah, I"ve never heard of it as referring to the Gulf Coast states. I always think of it as the coast of the Carolinas, Virginia, and Maryland. Having lived in Florida for 50 years and all of them on the east coast, I've never heard it referred to as being part of the Coastal South. 

2 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said:

Are you hosting?  I think it's fair as the hostess to say "If you'd like to bring something, bring A,B, or C.   I have everything else covered."  And that does sound very gross!

This. The host gets to decide what she/he is providing and asks people to bring other dishes. @MaBelle I agree with others that you don't have to lie, but sometimes holidays are about trying not to hurt feelings. If sil is proud of her stuffing then your plan sounds like the best way to handle it.

I've heard of oyster dressing but never tasted it. I hate dressing or stuffing with liver in it. Blech! Some people say you can't really taste the livers but those of us who hate liver will respond with "Oh yes, you definitely can!" 😄 

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Louisiana here and yes, oyster dressing is fairly common. Not as much as it used to be. 

Texas is not part of the south. Texas is . . . Texas. 

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2 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

It was tradition in my family to stuff the bird. We always had both stuffing (cooked in the turkey) and dressing but the reason was because we all love it and the amount in the turkey was never enough. Hence, we always made extra on the side. These days it's only dressing, but it's only been about the last 10 years or so we stopped stuffing the turkey.

Yeah, I"ve never heard of it as referring to the Gulf Coast states. I always think of it as the coast of the Carolinas, Virginia, and Maryland. Having lived in Florida for 50 years and all of them on the east coast, I've never heard it referred to as being part of the Coastal South. 

This. The host gets to decide what she/he is providing and asks people to bring other dishes. @MaBelle I agree with others that you don't have to lie, but sometimes holidays are about trying not to hurt feelings. If sil is proud of her stuffing then your plan sounds like the best way to handle it.

I've heard of oyster dressing but never tasted it. I hate dressing or stuffing with liver in it. Blech! Some people say you can't really taste the livers but those of us who hate liver will respond with "Oh yes, you definitely can!" 😄 

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

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25 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

Yep. Liver from the turkey gizzard pack. My mom always cooked that stuff up and gave it to our dog. 😄 

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7 minutes ago, Lady Florida. said:

Yep. Liver from the turkey gizzard pack. My mom always cooked that stuff up and gave it to our dog. 😄 

Note to self- be very suspicious of dressing made by other people. I'm going to be looking out for oysters and liver now. 

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16 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Note to self- be very suspicious of dressing made by other people. I'm going to be looking out for oysters and liver now. 

DITTO.

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5 hours ago, katilac said:

Texas is not part of the south. Texas is . . . Texas. 

Oh, yeah, Texas it totally a Southern state. Not only is it one of the 11 Confederate states, its cultural is totally Southern. Now, if you go way west to El Paso, it isn't Southern so much, but it's still part of Texas.

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3 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

It's the giblets that come in a little baggie with the bird. They're cooked separately to make a tasty broth for making gravy, and some people chop 'em up and mix them into the gravy.

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4 minutes ago, Ellie said:

It's the giblets that come in a little baggie with the bird. They're cooked separately to make a tasty broth for making gravy, and some people chop 'em up and mix them into the gravy.

I accidentally cooked that bag in the turkey my very first time roasting one. I call it the mean bag of tricks in the turkey now. 

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6 hours ago, katilac said:

Louisiana here and yes, oyster dressing is fairly common. Not as much as it used to be. 

Texas is not part of the south. Texas is . . . Texas. 

My grandmother was from Louisiana, and her dressing recipe calls for rice and oysters.

Texas was a Confederate state, but I know what you mean.  East Texas feels southern to me, pine trees and all.

I've heard it said that President Johnson was from the west and his wife Ladybird was from the south, though they were both native Texans.  He was from a town west of Austin and she was from East Texas, not too far from Louisiana.

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4 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

We don't put it in stuffing (which we call dressing), but a big thing around here for a quick lunch or snack is to buy chicken livers from the gas station. Po-boys, chicken livers, and fried chicken are gas station staples, lol. My in-laws were really dubious when we first told them that the gas station was truly the best place to pick up po-boys but they have been converted. 

I love me some BBQ chicken livers!

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4 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

 

3 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

Yep. Liver from the turkey gizzard pack. My mom always cooked that stuff up and gave it to our dog. 😄 

My brother is a great cook and hosted holiday’s for both sides of their family together for years.  His mil demanded stuffing made with everything in that pack except the neck.  He had to roast the neck for her separately.  She did take the neck home to eat with her leftovers thankfully. He served her stuffing in a special recognizable bowl and announced very carefully that it was her favorite so everyone would remember to stay clear.  I think Dh was a bit traumatized in fear of getting her food by accident!  I reminded Dh that he never wanted anything that was Vicki’s “favorite” before every meal.

Side note:  I have never gotten that special package in a turkey purchased in England but I check very carefully.😉

 

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5 minutes ago, katilac said:

We don't put it in stuffing (which we call dressing), but a big thing around here for a quick lunch or snack is to buy chicken livers from the gas station. Po-boys, chicken livers, and fried chicken are gas station staples, lol. My in-laws were really dubious when we first told them that the gas station was truly the best place to pick up po-boys but they have been converted. 

I love me some BBQ chicken livers!

I really need that passing out emoji we used to have right about now. 😂

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4 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

 

24 minutes ago, katilac said:

We don't put it in stuffing (which we call dressing), but a big thing around here for a quick lunch or snack is to buy chicken livers from the gas station. Po-boys, chicken livers, and fried chicken are gas station staples, lol. My in-laws were really dubious when we first told them that the gas station was truly the best place to pick up po-boys but they have been converted. 

I love me some BBQ chicken livers!

I put the giblets in the stuffing 🙂  But the tradition in my house is the pieces are big enoug hthat you can eat around them if you don't like them. I love them. I also love fried chicken livers but they are hard to find here. There is one local fried chicken place that has them but the wait is always long so I never get them. I'd love being able to grab them at a gas station! Great for when you are feeling a bit anemic/tired/cranky!

I like Po-boys too. 

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