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Help with very stink teen boy


SquirrellyMama
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I just don't know what to suggest to him. It is awful! It isn't a stinky armpit b.o. but a sour smell. It smells like someone who hasn't showered or put on clean clothing for a few days.

I know he showered last night and put on clean clothing. 

His rooms smells horrific, but gets better when I get his laundry out and open a window. This isn't weeks worth of laundry, only 3 days worth.

What can we do?

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is he actively using soap when he showers? And shampoo? Teen boys are notorious for showering but not actually remembering to wash while in there.Seriously. it's a thing. One mom on here said she started squirting shampoo on the kid before he went in the bathroom so he'd have to wash his hair!

Also, sure it is his skin/hair/body and not the clothes? Like, maybe they are not getting all the way de-stunk in the wash and then when his body heat warms them up the start smelling again?

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4 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

is he actively using soap when he showers? And shampoo? Teen boys are notorious for showering but not actually remembering to wash while in there.Seriously. it's a thing. One mom on here said she started squirting shampoo on the kid before he went in the bathroom so he'd have to wash his hair!

Also, sure it is his skin/hair/body and not the clothes? Like, maybe they are not getting all the way de-stunk in the wash and then when his body heat warms them up the start smelling again?

If it were the clothing we'd all be having the problem, and we aren't. It is a different smell than that.

ETA: I just reread what you said about the clothing. Is there something I should use to de-stink his clothing all the way? Other than detergent?

I'm not always sure what he does in the shower, honestly. I know he does wash his hair because he wants special shampoo for his curls. 

I don't know if he's cleaning his body well. He smells decent after he showers. 

Kelly

Edited by SquirrellyMama
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he may need two showers a day..I think I've heard that some boys do? And your clothes wouldn't have that stink on them to start with, so it wouldn't mean anything if yours are okay. Often I have pulled out my husband's workout shirts and found them still stinky when mine in the same load are fine. Because I don't get my shirts stinky to start with, lol. 

I personally would wash all his clothes at least one time with a small amount of bleach. A small amount won't hurt them and would kill any lingering bacteria. 

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I started to carry deoderant with me and I kept some in the car too, for touch ups.  

During puberty we had to do 2 showers a day.  Now it's getting better but if we need to be somewhere very early we do night shower and put on deoderant at night and again in the morning. 

I don't like to use Febreeze, but I do use it when I have too and maybe this would work in his room. 

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I'm going to try the pine sol with his clothing this weekend and see if that helps. 

I do know he's in the shower, and he smells better after the shower. 

He requested special shower gel so I'm assuming he is using it. The bathroom usually smells like soap and stink when he leaves the room. After the dirty laundry is taken out the stink leaves the room.

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2 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

This. 

Deodorant/antiperspirant is also more effective if applied at night and again in the AM. Crazy study I worked on that showed its true. 

Maybe make sure he's also not just using just deodorant alone, but rather that it has an anti-perspirant too, along with using deodorant type soap- Irish Spring. 

I cannot tolerate bad smells, so I've tried to become darn near professional at banishing people who stink in my house, LOL. 

 Yeah, I always say deodorant, but I mean anti-perspirant.  

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3 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

This. 

Deodorant/antiperspirant is also more effective if applied at night and again in the AM. Crazy study I worked on that showed its true. 

Maybe make sure he's also not just using just deodorant alone, but rather that it has an anti-perspirant too, along with using deodorant type soap- Irish Spring. 

I cannot tolerate bad smells, so I've tried to become darn near professional at banishing people who stink in my house, LOL. 

It is an anti-perspirant. I'm very careful about buying the right stuff. He's tried the clinical strength, not sure it worked any better than thr normal stuff.

I'll tell him to apply it at night and in the morning.

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dh is a martial arts instructor and works out a lot in a day.  Every few months his work clothes get stinky to the point where they'll seem fine after a wash but once he's wearing them for a while and sweats even a little they start smelling terrible.

To remedy this, every few months all of his work t-shirts, pants, and underwear get soaked in white vinegar and water before being washed.  This does the trick every time and the clothes are good again for a few months. 

I also do this with shoes and socks when they get extra funky.

 

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Cotton > microfiber/synthetic socks

If armpit stink is overwhelming, have him wipe his armpits with a washcloth wet with vinegar for a few days. It seemed an odd suggestion, but was really helpful.

Put him in swim trunks and review his shampoo/washing techniques.

Use oxyclean to boost his laundry. Treat especially stinky clothes with Biocleen (an enzyme to break down bacteria buildup). 

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Could it be something he is eating?

Some people really do  have hard to control body odor. Has he tried one of the clinical deodorant/antiperspirants available over the counter? My dh has found that he has to rotate brands every few months for them to maintain their effectiveness. He rotates between Degree Clinical and Gillette Clinical. Beyond that, there are prescription strength deodorants available as well.

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Lots of great ideas above! I’m sorry to say we have lived through this, too! Things are better now with only occasional stink, so he either grew out of it or we found the right plan of attack.

2 showers were required here for a while. One was not enough. Showers also were not connected to exercise - shower before bed no matter what. And in the morning. Even if you think you are clean, please just take a quick shower again. I also had him clean his pits with rubbing alcohol to get a fresh start.  And he seemed to need new deoderant every 3 months or so, like his body was adapting to the deoderant and finding a way to overpower it with new stink. 

It could be the shoes. For a while, my son’s shoes smelled of death. We tried all kinds of enzyme sprays and powders. Nothing really helped. I tossed the worst of the shoes (soccer cleats and 2 pairs of running shoes) and some socks and things have improved. Or he grew out of the worst of it. 

I bought Lume mainly for his feet. He may also use it elsewhere, but he likes regular deoderant for his armpits. 

Laundry detergent for exercise wear plus pinesol worked miracles. 

Anyway, he is doing better now, but it was tough there for all of us for a while. 

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I second new shoes with Odor Eaters or something similar. Also, having him alternate shoes each day to give them time to air out is helpful. And I’d include his towels, wash clothes, sheets, etc. in his laundry when you add either vinegar and Oxyclean (my choice) or Pinesol.

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My son had a stinky roomie in college. It was the shoes--they even got cited for stink! Shoes can get moldy fast if feet sweat a lot and one pair can fill an entire room. Tea tree oil at night helps, but mainly, get at least two pair of new shoes so you can rotate,  never wear without socks, keep feet clean and dry...

Sorry it is so hard. No one really wants to be stinky. 

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9 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

he may need two showers a day..I think I've heard that some boys do? And your clothes wouldn't have that stink on them to start with, so it wouldn't mean anything if yours are okay. Often I have pulled out my husband's workout shirts and found them still stinky when mine in the same load are fine. Because I don't get my shirts stinky to start with, lol

Ditto. 

I would also suspect he wasn’t doing the shower routine effectively, like not actually soaping and rinsing everything well. A friend of mine noticed her teen son’t hair constantly looked greasy, even though he kept showering daily. She finally made her husband assess what sort of hair-washing procedure was actually taking place in the shower. That was the culprit - he wasn’t washing/scrubbing his scalp and then rinsing everything fully. 

 

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5 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

My husband had to reteach one of my sons how to shower. He was slapping shampoo on top of his head and then standing under the shower. I can't remember how/if he was using soap. He had honestly forgotten how to do it.

Yup. Exactly this. 

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You might look at Rockin' Green laundry products. They do amazing things with cloth diapers; I'm sure they can help with teenfunk.

And I second the suggestion to look at what he's eating.

He might try shaving his armpits once to see if there's less odor. It might be easier to keep the skin clean and get the antiperspirant in there.

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13 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

HOW DOES ONE FORGET HOW TO WASH THEIR HAIR?

 

I cannot comprehend this level of idiocy.  Even Benjamin knows how to scrub and brush 😨

I don't think my boys "forget" per se, but they just lack the executive function (and/or desire) to consistently make it a priority.  They also lack spacial and bodily awareness, so even when I am in there supervising showering and they are trying to pass inspection, they will often just shampoo the 8 square inches on the very top of their heads and completely miss the sides and back.  It is not unusual for my boys to come out of the shower with portions of their hair not even wet...and their hair is only an inch long!

At this point DH or I supervise and "teach" showering a couple times a week, and at least once a week I wash everyone's hair to make sure it gets scrubbed and rinsed thoroughly.

I don't know how this routine will change as Peter enters the teen years.  Ideally he would step up to the plate and be able to be responsible for it on his own...but following his current trajectory, that is a far off goal.

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When one ds was about 12-13, maybe 14, he was a bit rank. But it was because he didn't care to take the time to get really clean. I think he'd just get in the shower because he was suppose to, but wouldn't soap up or shampoo well. It took several experiences of being sent back to the shower, a threat of one of us going in there with him to make sure he did it right, etc. But then he got older and more interested in girls...He smells pretty good now except right after soccer practice/games, or a big outside work day.

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Best Tips I have learned......

Hair not being washed well.......the gal who cuts ds’s hair recommended a plastic hair scrubber.  He used it plus shampoo and no longer has greasy hair.  It was sort of miraculous .......he simply was not moving the shampoo through his hair.  https://www.amazon.com/Bossman-Shampoo-Scalp-Massage-Shower/dp/B07MTPJZL9/ref=sr_1_9?crid=MKMOD99XA477&keywords=hair+scrubber+for+shower&qid=1573132294&sprefix=Hair+scrubber%2Caps%2C177&sr=8-9

Spraying rubbing alcohol in the arm pits helps get rid of the nasty smell too.  Kills the bacteria and you start fresh with deodorant.  Far better than just soap.  The bonus was having rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle is super handy, who knew,  we all use it for cuts.  I actually grab it for cleaning issues pretty often and keep one in my bathroom too.

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1 hour ago, Arctic Mama said:

HOW DOES ONE FORGET HOW TO WASH THEIR HAIR?

 

I cannot comprehend this level of idiocy.  Even Benjamin knows how to scrub and brush 😨

Honestly, the things that go on during the 'brain pruning' of puberty have to be seen to be believed:

'Pruning during adolescence is highly specific and can be pronounced, resulting in a loss of close to 50% of the synaptic connections in some regions, but with little decline in others'

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3982854/

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Maybe I am lucky mine are in a pool 6 days a week 😱!  My 14 year old boys rarely stink and one does not like to wear deodorant - he will if we are going to be out for a long period of time though.  They take at least 1 shower a day.  I wash their clothes with mine and DH's clothes.  I do have issues with one rinsing out shampoo well. 

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You should throw out the shoes.  And get him TWO pairs, possibly identical, for him to wear every day.  Alternate them, do not wear the same pair two days in a row.

And DH had some polyester workout clothing that I couldn't get the smell out of, even with vinegar soaks.  When I was ready to full on toss them out I ran a load of them with bleach.  It's been a couple of months and they still smell clean. Be careful not to do this with anything precious or with natural fibers rather than polyester, but risking ruining something that you're on the verge of throwing out anyway is worth it IMO.

For that matter you could also run the shoes through a load with bleach.

Once a kid used my deodorant and it stopped working for me.  I threw out that stick and I went through about a week of wiping my armpits with vinegar after my showers and before applying a new antiperspirant before it started working normally again.

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8 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

My husband had to reteach one of my sons how to shower. He was slapping shampoo on top of his head and then standing under the shower. I can't remember how/if he was using soap. He had honestly forgotten how to do it.

We had this too.  It actually took a few weeks for the smell to disappear.

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14 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Enforce that the shower gets repeated until the smell disappears- if that means no screens, phone, whatever, so be it. I have heard legends (😉) of teens who go so far as to pretend to shower and not actually do it. Like run the water and just hang out in there. I don't know if these legendary creatures were doing this as a way of protest or what. But with some teens you have to be more specific than you do with five year olds. Like the old Bill Cosby skit- get in the shower, turn on the water, use soap, wash yourself off, dry yourself off etc. etc. You have to be explicit sometimes. 

Wash his clothes with an added cup of pine sol along with the detergent (I learned that trick here for work out clothing) for a couple of weeks. Maybe he's rewearing or sleeping in things and once that smell gets in some fabrics it's hard to get out. 

Lastly look at diet if the smell is still there with proper showering. If it persists, worth a trip to the doctor. Some medical issues can cause a fishy type smell, or over production of sweat could be another culprit. There are cures for that. If he's eating a lot of food heavy in garlic or certain seasonings though, that can do it, so maybe elimination diet on those things if that severe. 

Baking soda in the carpet in his room if it has it......also wash the mattress liner and not just the sheets every week. 

That's all I've got. If he gets a crush that might help LOL. Seems like the magic button for teen boys to certain care a lot more about how they smell. 

You guys are really telling me you have teen who "forgets" to use soap when he showers? I thought I was the only one who had a kid like that! Drives me absolutely BONKERS! You have no idea how relieved I am that this is not some freak parenting fail on my part. (Breathes sigh of relief.)

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4 minutes ago, Valley Girl said:

You guys are really telling me you have teen who "forgets" to use soap when he showers? I thought I was the only one who had a kid like that! Drives me absolutely BONKERS! You have no idea how relieved I am that this is not some freak parenting fail on my part. (Breathes sigh of relief.)

Yes! Both my boys went through this! Not only the not using soap or shampoo thing, but not liking to wear deodorant, either. Dh and I pretty much nagged them continually about hygiene for a couple years there. The good news is they grew out of it. They are 19 and 21 now and always smell good.

Dd is 17 and never went through a gross phase like that. She's always smelled great!

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Back in the day when the only real option was roll on deodorant I hated it - just the slimy feel. But now, with solids, sprays, soft solids, gel, etc etc there really is no excuse. For those with kids that dislike deodorant I suggest buying a few different textures/types to try.  Solid is least gross to me, spray isn't terrible either. Gel is  no go for me - too wet/cold. 

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2 hours ago, Valley Girl said:

You guys are really telling me you have teen who "forgets" to use soap when he showers? I thought I was the only one who had a kid like that! Drives me absolutely BONKERS! You have no idea how relieved I am that this is not some freak parenting fail on my part. (Breathes sigh of relief.)

 

I've told this story before but more than one foster mom I know have standing rules that all boys in their home must take 20 minute bubble baths every night until they get 15 or 16. That way they know soapy water is touching everything, even if they don't bathe properly.  After that they figure fear of girls will make them make an effort.  Of course you have to have a decently deep tub for that to work.  The last few tubs in kids bathrooms we lived in didn't cover the top of my thighs when I tried sitting in them before the water hit the overflow drain.  I suppose it does prevent drowning, but how can anyone over 5 get clean that way?

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5 hours ago, Patty Joanna said:

And with all that has been said above and experienced by me, I will add something that I found extremely interesting when I learned it a number of years ago.  

A guy in my former church is a PhD brain researcher.  He taught us many classes and brought a lot of science into his talks, a lot of the research done in his labs and at a major university.

He told us that at puberty, when the hormones kick in, boys pheromones are such that they are specifically repellent to their mothers. I guess it is part of the way that we are made so that it is easier (imperative!) to let go, to get that stinky bird out of the nest. 

My son would smell good for about 15 minutes after a *real* shower, but within an hour, I'd be sitting...over there.  I mentioned it (about 4000 times) to my dh and he didn't notice anything.  Neither did my sister.  He still doesn't smell that good to me but his 3yearGF snuggles in close and breathes deeply, so I think there is something in this.  And like everyone else, he stinks when he doesn't shower properly--and I've actually had him go take a shower when he comes over for a visit.  

I guess I needed an extra dose of stinky to let go. :0)

To expand on this, mothers are repelled by their son's pheromones to prevent attraction and therefore incest, and possible procreation.

It's nature's way of protecting us. We just have to suffer through it!

Edited by Islandgal
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22 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

My husband had to reteach one of my sons how to shower. He was slapping shampoo on top of his head and then standing under the shower. I can't remember how/if he was using soap. He had honestly forgotten how to do it.

This happened here, too, with the shampoo.  Soap was just kind of randomly, with no real sense of purpose.

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8 hours ago, Islandgal said:

To expand on this, mothers are repelled by their son's pheromones to prevent attraction and therefore incest, and possible procreation.

It's nature's way of protecting us. We just have to suffer through it!

My husband could smell my son too. He was just dirty. My other son barely smelled as a teenager.

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Jumping off from the “teen boys repelling their moms” theme, I think there is definitely something to it. I know when my sweet little budgie, who turns twenty TODAY, was a precious little towheaded boy, I could not imagine how moms ever send them off to college. Why would I not want him to stay here, being adorable, forever and ever? 

Well. By the time he was 17, I was relieved and thankful that living on-campus was in the plans. Actually, it was ideal, because he is at college less than 50 miles away, so I can see him easily, but...he’s still 47 miles away for all the other stuff. It’s not just smell, it’s....everything. Better for him to live elsewhere. Yes. Amen. 

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So, on the Pine-Sol addition to the laundry. How much for a full load? 1/4C? I’m already using Oxiclean + vinegar in addition to detergent. It ain’t cutting it.

My 14 yo dd wears a lot of those athletic t-shirts made of 100% polyester and I canNOT get the teenage funk out of it. When dd showers she gets very clean ~ she ought to seeing as how she spends a minimum of 40 minutes in the shower. <le sigh> Unfortunately, she doesn’t shower every day. 

Anywho, how much Pine-Sol to get rid of teen funkage in clothes. 

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1 hour ago, brehon said:

So, on the Pine-Sol addition to the laundry. How much for a full load? 1/4C? I’m already using Oxiclean + vinegar in addition to detergent. It ain’t cutting it.

My 14 yo dd wears a lot of those athletic t-shirts made of 100% polyester and I canNOT get the teenage funk out of it. When dd showers she gets very clean ~ she ought to seeing as how she spends a minimum of 40 minutes in the shower. <le sigh> Unfortunately, she doesn’t shower every day. 

Anywho, how much Pine-Sol to get rid of teen funkage in clothes. 

I don't know about pinesol but with my husband's workout shirts like that I do a bit of bleach, about a few tablespoons for the load and it works well. 

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1 hour ago, brehon said:

So, on the Pine-Sol addition to the laundry. How much for a full load? 1/4C? I’m already using Oxiclean + vinegar in addition to detergent. It ain’t cutting it.

My 14 yo dd wears a lot of those athletic t-shirts made of 100% polyester and I canNOT get the teenage funk out of it. When dd showers she gets very clean ~ she ought to seeing as how she spends a minimum of 40 minutes in the shower. <le sigh> Unfortunately, she doesn’t shower every day. 

Anywho, how much Pine-Sol to get rid of teen funkage in clothes. 

OxiClean and vinegar are pretty much useless here. I do put vinegar in with my towels sometimes, but I can't tell that it does squat. I don't doubt that both of those work for others, but I'm wondering if how well those work (or not) has to do with the type of water one has?

For PineSol -- It depends on the type of washer you have. When I had a front loader I used maybe 1/4 of a cup. For a top loader that uses more water I'd go closer to a full cup. Here's what PineSol says.

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