Puppy questions

[sheryl]

Regarding biting - Shiloh is still "mouthy" and "play biting".   We correct her behavior.  Should you reward when she isn't biting and say "no bite, good girl"?  That doesn't make "total" sense to me but am asking anyway.

So, I found a playmate for her and today was our 2nd playdate!  LOL!  I observed this the first time about 3 weeks ago and today (2nd playdate).  The Mom is fixated on my puppy.   She has an Australian Shepherd who is adorable.  Kids were off school today due to voting and her younger son said to his mom, "can we have her?"  HUH?  And, the Mom is constantly talking about how cute Shiloh is.  Well, she is a beautiful dog and we paid more for her than we have our other 2 dogs and our rescued cat who was rescued!    I'm feeling a bit uneasy.  Each time I've taken Shiloh to her house as her back yard is fenced in and ours is not.  Should I be concerned?   I'm 50/50 now.  She's a nice woman and we talk well with one another but she's always making a comment on Shiloh and then what her son said.   

This other Mom is thinking that she desperately wants a playmate for her dog and our dogs get along well.  This woman mentioned that I could drop Shiloh off at her house for a few hours for the dogs to have a playdate and I could do whatever - meaning I would not stay.  Visions of her dognapping my dog run through my mind and I'm sure I'm over reacting but she is an almost 5 month yellow, female, full blooded English lab.  

Advice? Comments? Should I let this go because I'm worrying unnecessarily?

[ktgrok]

LOL, I say things like she did all the time. I mean, hello, cute puppy! I gush over them, but I promise I don't steal them. And at dog parks and in my neighborhood it is common to have someone offer puppy playdates so they can burn off energy. 

[Terabith]

I am so not a puppy behavior expert, or a woman behavior expert, either.  The other mom sounds kind of like she's doing the "so cute I could eat him up" thing, but to an extreme degree.  I think I might be kinda weirded out and uncomfortable, too.  

I know literally nothing about molding puppy behavior, but SpyCar's stuff about bite inhibition training sounds pretty smart and clever.  

[klmama]

I would not leave my dog for a play date unless I really knew the lady well, more for making sure my dog was trained consistently than out of fear that she'd take her somehow.  A couple of hours is a long time, and I'd want to be sure I approved of her methods first.  BTDT with neighbors who encouraged our puppy into some annoying behaviors every time we met them while out on walks.  I understand your uneasiness, though; there are a couple of odd ones in our neighborhood who rave about our dog, too, and it's a little weird.  

 

[Selkie]

Don't know about the dognapping vibe you're getting, but since you're feeling uncomfortable about leaving your puppy, I wouldn't do it. I'd need to know someone very well and trust them implicitly before I'd leave one of my dogs with them.

Any puppy pics to share??

[sheryl]

OK, well, I think it would be wise to get to know her better.  I get the impression that while she was nice to offer this (and of course I'd stay the first time) I told her I needed to stay a 2nd time to make sure they get along but if I'm reading her right she's more interested in having my puppy there solo.  Well, I get that.  She wants a dog friend for her dog and she and I are not "friends".  Oh well, I think I'll postpone this a bit.  Thanks.   Yes, I'll try to get some current pics.  She's over 40 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!  She'll be a big girl around 70 - 75 maybe.  Our other 2 labs were smaller.  Shiloh has huge paws lol!  🙂 Pics - will try in the next few days or by weekend. 

[Pen]

I was just wondering how your puppy was!

I would not leave a dog/puppy to have a dog/puppy play date without me.  Not at all.  I would be cautious with the vibe you are getting to have play date with me there.  Is there a dog park the pups could meet at? 

 

I don’t use the “no bites” type words . Imo many dogs aren’t good at understanding negative words.    

I often use “nicely” or “gently” while teaching things like taking a treat gently. Or “leave it”   

 

For “good” I just say, “good!”  or “good dog!” or maybe “good Shiloh!”    Or “what a good, fantastic, Wonderful,  Shiloh, you bestest dog in the world !!! “    (I’ve had several “best dog in the world” dogs, you can too.  IME  They like enthusiasm and aren’t grammar police!) 

 

[ktgrok]

4 minutes ago, Pen said:

I was just wondering how your puppy was!

I would not leave a dog/puppy to have a dog/puppy play date without me.  Not at all.  I would be cautious with the vibe you are getting to have play date with me there.  Is there a dog park the pups could meet at? 

 

I don’t use the “no bites” type words . Imo many dogs aren’t good at understanding negative words.    

I often use “nicely” or “gently” while teaching things like taking a treat gently. Or “leave it”   

 

For “good” I just say, “good!”  or “good dog!” or maybe “good Shiloh!”    Or “what a good, fantastic, Wonderful,  Shiloh, you bestest dog in the world !!! “    (I’ve had several “best dog in the world” dogs, you can too.  IME  They like enthusiasm and aren’t grammar police!) 

 

Lol.Our dog Luke, the brain damaged border collie is the besets boy. My husband comes home at night and demands to know if I told Luke he was bestest boy while he was gone 🙂

[MercyA]

No way would I leave my dog with someone I didn't know well--unless they were a professional pet sitter whom I'd vetted and met. Nope, nope, nope. People can be careless. 

[MercyA]

No way I can't post this here [in reference to @Ktgrok's bestest boy post!]

Nation's Dog Owners Demand to Know Who's a Good Boy

Edited November 6, 2019 by MercyA

[sheryl]

Right.  She's experienced with dogs and fostered two until recently.   I think she would be fine with the basics of training BUT I was asking more out of concern about her extreme interest in my dog.  Well, I think I may try to suggest walking our dogs together. 

[ktgrok]

2 minutes ago, sheryl said:

Right.  She's experienced with dogs and fostered two until recently.   I think she would be fine with the basics of training BUT I was asking more out of concern about her extreme interest in my dog.  Well, I think I may try to suggest walking our dogs together. 

Dog people are weird 🙂 She sounds noral within that culture.

[gardenmom5]

how old is she?  spy car posted something earlier that young puppies are learning about how hard they can bite down - so mouthing is important.  they normally learn this with siblings - who will snap back if they bite too hard.

you want to teach the puppy what is too hard.

  dd's puppy mouthed a lot.  he's 18 months - and doesn't mouth/bite anymore.  (though you'd better watch your hand in a rough game of tug-o-war .  . . .)  and she's getting a new puppy next month. the mouthing starts over.

 

eta: dd's breeder said to say "OUCH" loudly when they nip - but at five months, she's past that stage.

Edited November 6, 2019 by gardenmom5

[gardenmom5]

2 hours ago, sheryl said:

 

So, I found a playmate for her and today was our 2nd playdate!  LOL!  I observed this the first time about 3 weeks ago and today (2nd playdate).  The Mom is fixated on my puppy.   She has an Australian Shepherd who is adorable.  Kids were off school today due to voting and her younger son said to his mom, "can we have her?"  HUH?  And, the Mom is constantly talking about how cute Shiloh is.  Well, she is a beautiful dog and we paid more for her than we have our other 2 dogs and our rescued cat who was rescued!    I'm feeling a bit uneasy.  Each time I've taken Shiloh to her house as her back yard is fenced in and ours is not.  Should I be concerned?   I'm 50/50 now.  She's a nice woman and we talk well with one another but she's always making a comment on Shiloh and then what her son said.   

This other Mom is thinking that she desperately wants a playmate for her dog and our dogs get along well.  This woman mentioned that I could drop Shiloh off at her house for a few hours for the dogs to have a playdate and I could do whatever - meaning I would not stay.  Visions of her dognapping my dog run through my mind and I'm sure I'm over reacting but she is an almost 5 month yellow, female, full blooded English lab.  

Advice? Comments? Should I let this go because I'm worrying unnecessarily?

listen to the gut.  the mom's reaction to her child asking if they could keep someone else's dog is not normal.  a normal parent would have shut it down then and there.

when any of her children say anything like that again - my suggestion would be:  This is my dog, she's not for sale.  would you want someone to come and take your dog from you because they like it?

is the dog chipped?  (I would hope so if you paid that much - good breeders will provide the chip.)  if not, I would do so asap.

I would also never drop the dog off, or allow them to play with the dog without being present - though where would they go if they live there?

I would also stop having playdates in her backyard (or house) so the dog doesn't start to get overly comfortable there.  time for neutral territory.

I've done playdates in my home/unfenced yard - not on a busy street.  makes me appreciate my friend's dog that has fur (puppy has hair - it has to be washed.), the dirt brushes off.

[gardenmom5]

2 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

LOL, I say things like she did all the time. I mean, hello, cute puppy! I gush over them, but I promise I don't steal them. And at dog parks and in my neighborhood it is common to have someone offer puppy playdates so they can burn off energy. 

sounds like she's saying she's cute much more than a normal person would.  and the kid's question!  wow.

[sheryl]

Yea, it just seemed weird to me.  It could be innocent but I had an immediate uncomfortable opinion. Shiloh is microchipped.  

 

[Selkie]

1 hour ago, sheryl said:

OK, well, I think it would be wise to get to know her better.  I get the impression that while she was nice to offer this (and of course I'd stay the first time) I told her I needed to stay a 2nd time to make sure they get along but if I'm reading her right she's more interested in having my puppy there solo.  Well, I get that.  She wants a dog friend for her dog and she and I are not "friends".  Oh well, I think I'll postpone this a bit.  Thanks.   Yes, I'll try to get some current pics.  She's over 40 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!  She'll be a big girl around 70 - 75 maybe.  Our other 2 labs were smaller.  Shiloh has huge paws lol!  🙂 Pics - will try in the next few days or by weekend. 

The bolded part is weird. If she is that eager for her dog to have a playmate, she should get another dog.

My two English labs (a brother and sister) are two years old and weigh 75 & 80 pounds.🙂

[Pen]

12 minutes ago, sheryl said:

Yea, it just seemed weird to me.  It could be innocent but I had an immediate uncomfortable opinion. Shiloh is microchipped.  

 

 

IMO: Don’t leave your dog.

It may all be innocent, but trust your gut.  If something happened to your puppy you’d feel awful. 

Recommend you  Read:  The Gift of Fear

[Pen]

 

27 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

I would also stop having playdates in her backyard (or house) so the dog doesn't start to get overly comfortable there.  time for neutral territory.

 

This too.

You don’t want a situation where your dog heads to their house to play all by herself.

or they pick her up ffrom your unfencedvyard and take her home to her doggy friend and familiar yard

 

[ktgrok]

I assumed that when her kid asked if they could keep the puppy the mother told him no. Correct? She was just repeating that he asked in a "your puppy is so awesome even my son wants to keep him" way. 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Ktgrok

[sheryl]

Katie,

Well, that's probably half of it.  But, he's in 6th grade.  Wouldn't he know that they just can't keep her?  That we're there for a puppy playdate with "his" dog.  It's probably innocent but something seems off enough to alert me.  He heard his Mom carrying on about Shiloh and he just sat in the chair and said something like, "can we just keep her" or whatever I said upthread.  This happened today.  She even said after our last and first playdate, she went on Petfinder to look for/find a lab.   Huh?  Labs are America's favorite.  That's NOT why we have one.  This is our 3rd lab and I know the Golden Ret and Labs are neck in neck for 1st place.   I hope I'm wrong but it just seems she knows a lot more about labs than what she lets on.  I have thoughts in my head that Shiloh will be puppy napped.  I'm going to dismiss this as I'm sure I'm over reaction and it's emotionally exhausting.  Still, I need to be discerning.  

Are you all saying that Shiloh will become acquainted with this house that her nose could lead her there unbeknownst to me?  That would not be good! 

[ktgrok]

2 minutes ago, sheryl said:

Katie,

Well, that's probably half of it.  But, he's in 6th grade.  Wouldn't he know that they just can't keep her?  That we're there for a puppy playdate with "his" dog.  It's probably innocent but something seems off enough to alert me.  He heard his Mom carrying on about Shiloh and he just sat in the chair and said something like, "can we just keep her" or whatever I said upthread.  This happened today.  She even said after our last and first playdate, she went on Petfinder to look for/find a lab.   Huh?  Labs are America's favorite.  That's NOT why we have one.  This is our 3rd lab and I know the Golden Ret and Labs are neck in neck for 1st place.   I hope I'm wrong but it just seems she knows a lot more about labs than what she lets on.  I have thoughts in my head that Shiloh will be puppy napped.  I'm going to dismiss this as I'm sure I'm over reaction and it's emotionally exhausting.  Still, I need to be discerning.  

Are you all saying that Shiloh will become acquainted with this house that her nose could lead her there unbeknownst to me?  That would not be good! 

I'm guessing he didn't actually mean it, was just being silly. And liking your dog a lot and then looking to get one herself seems normal to me. But again, i have spent a LOT of time around dog people...they are a unique group, lol. 

[Catwoman]

Why would you even consider leaving your dog at her house? 

Honestly, the woman sounds weird to me, and I wouldn’t be arranging any more puppy play dates with her at all. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

3 minutes ago, sheryl said:

Katie,

Well, that's probably half of it.  But, he's in 6th grade.  Wouldn't he know that they just can't keep her?  That we're there for a puppy playdate with "his" dog.  It's probably innocent but something seems off enough to alert me.  He heard his Mom carrying on about Shiloh and he just sat in the chair and said something like, "can we just keep her" or whatever I said upthread.  This happened today.  She even said after our last and first playdate, she went on Petfinder to look for/find a lab.   Huh?  Labs are America's favorite.  That's NOT why we have one.  This is our 3rd lab and I know the Golden Ret and Labs are neck in neck for 1st place.   I hope I'm wrong but it just seems she knows a lot more about labs than what she lets on.  I have thoughts in my head that Shiloh will be puppy napped.  I'm going to dismiss this as I'm sure I'm over reaction and it's emotionally exhausting.  Still, I need to be discerning.  

Are you all saying that Shiloh will become acquainted with this house that her nose could lead her there unbeknownst to me?  That would not be good! 

Your dog should always be leashed or in a fenced yard when outside. Her making it anywhere unbeknownst to you should not even be a possibility. 
 

Does your dog have plenty of opportunities to chew?  Bones, antlers, chewies....  

[gardenmom5]

49 minutes ago, Selkie said:

The bolded part is weird. If she is that eager for her dog to have a playmate, she should get another dog.

My two English labs (a brother and sister) are two years old and weigh 75 & 80 pounds.🙂

and why my dd is getting another dog next month.  her puppy's parents were bred again (breeder doesn't normally do that.) - so it's a full blood sibling.  we dont' know which one it will be - she asked for temperament.  (same as last time, and she got a fabulous puppy)

[gardenmom5]

 

27 minutes ago, sheryl said:

Katie,

Well, that's probably half of it.  But, he's in 6th grade.  Wouldn't he know that they just can't keep her?  That we're there for a puppy playdate with "his" dog.  It's probably innocent but something seems off enough to alert me.  He heard his Mom carrying on about Shiloh and he just sat in the chair and said something like, "can we just keep her" or whatever I said upthread.  This happened today.  She even said after our last and first playdate, she went on Petfinder to look for/find a lab.   Huh?  Labs are America's favorite.  That's NOT why we have one.  This is our 3rd lab and I know the Golden Ret and Labs are neck in neck for 1st place.   I hope I'm wrong but it just seems she knows a lot more about labs than what she lets on.  I have thoughts in my head that Shiloh will be puppy napped.  I'm going to dismiss this as I'm sure I'm over reaction and it's emotionally exhausting.  Still, I need to be discerning.  

Are you all saying that Shiloh will become acquainted with this house that her nose could lead her there unbeknownst to me?  That would not be good! 

yes - he's plenty old enough he should know he can't just keep someone else's dog.  makes me wonder if she goes on and on about this stuff, and he was trying to put an end of her going on by saying "let's just keep the dog" and put an end to her yammering.

 

Please listen to your gut.  better safe than sorry.  she's just a neighbor - not a friend.

I'm saying Shiloh will become acquainted with her house - so if she one day is "brought inside" without you - she won't freak out.

[MercyA]

You have no obligation to this woman. Just a reminder. The more I think about this the less I like it. 

[Pen]

1 hour ago, sheryl said:

Katie,

Well, that's probably half of it.  But, he's in 6th grade.  Wouldn't he know that they just can't keep her?  That we're there for a puppy playdate with "his" dog.  It's probably innocent but something seems off enough to alert me.  He heard his Mom carrying on about Shiloh and he just sat in the chair and said something like, "can we just keep her" or whatever I said upthread.  This happened today.  She even said after our last and first playdate, she went on Petfinder to look for/find a lab.   Huh?  Labs are America's favorite.  That's NOT why we have one.  This is our 3rd lab and I know the Golden Ret and Labs are neck in neck for 1st place.   I hope I'm wrong but it just seems she knows a lot more about labs than what she lets on.  I have thoughts in my head that Shiloh will be puppy napped.  I'm going to dismiss this as I'm sure I'm over reaction and it's emotionally exhausting.  Still, I need to be discerning.  

 

I’m not following all that.

1 hour ago, sheryl said:

Are you all saying that Shiloh will become acquainted with this house that her nose could lead her there unbeknownst to me?  That would not be good! 

 

Yes.  That can happen. . 

[Roadrunner]

I learned a lesson today. I gush over a bernidoodle at the park all the time. Well, I don’t have any intensional of dog stealing, but boy oh boy, the owner must think I am nuts.  No more compliments. I will like him in silence. 😂

 

[Pen]

 

2 hours ago, sheryl said:

  Well, I think I may try to suggest walking our dogs together. 

 

That sounds good.  

And off leash play at a park or school off hours or some such could be fun for the dogs. 

[gardenmom5]

5 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:

I learned a lesson today. I gush over a bernidoodle at the park all the time. Well, I don’t have any intensional of dog stealing, but boy oh boy, the owner must think I am nuts.  No more compliments. I will like him in silence. 😂

 

do your kids ask about why can't they keep him?

[Roadrunner]

5 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

do your kids ask about why can't they keep him?

 

No. They are teenagers. 😋 they are mortified by me. 😂

[Pen]

 

Quote

I would also never drop the dog off, or allow them to play with the dog without being present - though where would they go if they live there?

 

They could claim that the dog was gifted to them by Sheryl and refuse to give it back. 

Or something could happen to the dog while she was in their care without Sheryl present. 

Any number of things.  

The idea of asking for dog without owner in this situation just seems too fraught.  

I’ve let a dog be borrowed by neighbor kids for walks or play purposes, but only when I have known the child involved and the parents.  

 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Pen

[Pawz4me]

Sorry, but I really don't see what the big issue is here.

People gush over dogs all the time. All. The. Time. Doesn't matter whether they're purebred blah blah blahs or the muttiest of mutts, cost thousands of dollars or were "free to good home." If they're cute, particularly athletic, tough looking or whatever . . . people gush. Mostly it's benign, but it can get weird sometimes.

This woman is setting off your warning meter. So just don't go back. I mean -- is there any good reason you need to? It's not that hard to find dog parks in most areas nowadays, so surely you can find somewhere else for your dog to run free and socialize if you feel she needs that. Puppies and dogs thankfully do not need babysitters. They can be left in crates while you do your errands or whatever. There is zero reason to leave a dog somewhere so you can have a few free hours. So exactly why do you even need this woman in your life if she bothers you?

[ktgrok]

Going to add that it is super common at dog meet ups for someone to say, "Oh, I love him! If you ever don't want him, I'll take him!" or "whey don't you send him to my house to play with Zach (her puppy) while you run errands, they can wear each other out!"

Totally normal. I mean, for dog stuff, lol. 

[Innisfree]

46 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

Going to add that it is super common at dog meet ups for someone to say, "Oh, I love him! If you ever don't want him, I'll take him!" or "whey don't you send him to my house to play with Zach (her puppy) while you run errands, they can wear each other out!"

Totally normal. I mean, for dog stuff, lol. 

Saying it is normal, sure. Doing it? It would never occur to me that someone was serious. Or, if they kept on about dropping the dog off until I thought they really meant it, I'd find them uncomfortable company and would make myself scarce. I can't imagine dropping my dog off with a near stranger, neighbor or not.

[sheryl]

I'm going to "group" combine my reply.   

You ask "why" I would do such a thing?  

I posted on Nextdoor for those people who are dog lovers to let me know if anyone would be interested in arranging puppy/dog playdates.   ND is the broader community in which you live (several subdivisions).  So, our ND is probably about a 2  1/2 mile radius.  I had many, many responses.  I followed up with a few that seemed to be dog lovers and on the same page of wanting an exercise buddy for their pup.  

Accidents happen and dogs get loose on occasion.  IF that would happen, would any dog use their nose to "track" down a familiar location?  

As I said, she is "probably well-meaning".  It's NOT "one" factor that concerns me it's the ENTIRE visit and conversation that is at question.  I'm NOT extracting a single thing, but looking at the TOTAL situation/conversation.   If I continue to get this vibe then I'll just end it.  She invited me to her house because she has a fenced in yard and I do not.  She made mention of future "drop offs" and overnights - not me.   She went on to ask if I'd be ok with Shiloh sleeping on her son's bed which to me is not a big deal in and of itself except she seems anxious.  

I will probably give her the benefit of the doubt and suggest a walk.  I took our other 2 labs to our closest dog park.  Some days are ok and other days there are dogs there who are aggressive.  And, I'm not certain people take "puppies" to dog parks often, but more adult dogs.  Lastly, there is NO way of knowing if these dogs are current on their vacs.  I've ruled out our dog park and will opt for our greenway.  

Also want to be clear I'm not bragging that we spent some money on Shiloh.  Our other 2 labs were very inexpensive and they both came from breeders (one English purebred with Championship pedigree but she was very reasonably priced and one American - she was reasonably pricred as well).  Our cat was rescued and flown to us from California.  There was no fee and in fact people went out of their way to bring us our supposed "purebred" Ragdoll.  While our pets are mostly pure bred, we spent no to little money for our first three pets.  Because we were interested in another lab and wanted English we made the decision to go with a breeder who was pricier.  There are many breeders.  Some are reputable and some are not.  It took research and speaking with a few to find a match with breeder and puppy.   Also, I looked on Petfinder and other sites over 1-2 years looking for a rescue lab but none were available with our preferences. 

I mentioned up thread I was going to back off from this woman and here I said I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt.  I will give her the benefit but will not go out of my way to keep this going.  

We have no family or friends who are interested in becoming a pet sitter for us.  People are just so busy it seems so I had to post on ND not only for playdates for pet sitters.  No neighbors on street available to watch Shiloh.  Our friends are busy.  It took me posting and I'll have to "discern" if a person would be a candidate as a good pet sitter/play date.  

Edited November 6, 2019 by sheryl

[Innisfree]

Okay, now I understand how this happened.

OP, if you want to make friends with people who have dogs which could play with Shiloh, how about getting involved in obedience classes? You'd see people over weeks, have a chance to see how they handle their dogs, know the dogs were vaccinated, know the dogs' temperaments...just a much better chance to evaluate people and situations. 

[Selkie]

50 minutes ago, sheryl said:

As I said, she is "probably well-meaning".  It's NOT "one" factor that concerns me it's the ENTIRE visit and conversation that is at question.  I'm NOT extracting a single thing, but looking at the TOTAL situation/conversation.   If I continue to get this vibe then I'll just end it.  She invited me to her house because she has a fenced in yard and I do not.  She made mention of future "drop offs" and overnights - not me.   She went on to ask if I'd be ok with Shiloh sleeping on her son's bed which to me is not a big deal in and of itself except she seems anxious.  
 

Okay, now it has gotten even weirder! She is wanting to have your dog over for slumber parties?? I thought it was odd that she wanted you to drop the puppy off for playdates, but this goes way beyond.

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, Selkie said:

Okay, now it has gotten even weirder! She is wanting to have your dog over for slumber parties?? I thought it was odd that she wanted you to drop the puppy off for playdates, but this goes way beyond.

 

I agree!!!

I’m also not sure why you are so desperate to find playdates for your dog that you advertised on NextDoor. No offense, but that in itself seems odd to me. It’s like you’re trying to be the perfect homeschool mom... to your dog.  He doesn’t need dog friends so badly or so quickly that you have to try this hard to find them. Plenty of dogs have very little interaction with other dogs and they live very happy lives with their human families, so this doesn’t have to be such a huge, immediate concern. Others here have come up with lots of great ideas for you to meet new people and new dogs in a more natural and spontaneous way over time.

It seems like you are over-thinking and over-planning all of this. 

Ditch this crazy woman and move on. Because this woman wants your dog to sleep in her son’s bed. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. THAT IS WEIRD AND CREEPY AND OBSESSIVE. 

I know you want the best for your dog, but you are taking this socialization thing way too seriously. And please, stay off NextDoor! Finding new friends shouldn’t involve online advertising and an interview process. 

[sheryl]

Innisfree, yes, I could socialize through obedience training classes but I've been training on my own thanks to Katie, Bill, Pen, Pawz and many in my original "puppy" thread that I'm forgetting to mention by name - all have been helpful.  

Indigo,  I get it, no offense taken.  We consider our "pets" as furry family members.  Our dogs are happy but with that said there is much a "dog companion" can offer in terms of play/social skills that humans can not.  I'll need to rethink this whole matter.

Selkie and all, I feel like in my frazzled state I'm not stating this right and want to be as accurate and fair as possible to this other woman "A".  When I posted on ND, I posted for: 1) puppy play dates.  I rec'd tons of responses and people thanking me and appreciating my post.  Also, 2) In a separate post, I asked for replies regarding pet sitters.  I rec'd quite a few.  Lastly and 3) the conversation I've had with a few of the people regarding play dates has "naturally" evolved in possible pet sitting.   Me: great, it seems like our dogs might be a match for a playdate.  Someone who replied (not A):  maybe in addition to play dates we could consider pet sitting "overnights" for each other and "swapping" that job.  Many people would prefer not to board and I'm one of them.  We boarded our first lab and took her with us.  For our 2nd we had to board and a friend was available to pet sit (really her son).  For Shiloh I'm trying to find pet sitters who pet sit in THEIR home.  I don't want "drop ins" in our home.  So, it's a lot of back and forth emails and phone calls as well as meet and greets.  Sometimes a person on the phone sounds good and in person you decide against it.  Or, vice versa.  I'm try to find "candidates" now with whom I feel comfortable and Shiloh too.  I'd like to have at least 2 if not 3 rotating pet sitters in the event 1 or 2 are unavailable and the 3rd one is available (we'd be comfortable with any of the 3).  

HTH!

[sheryl]

12 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

 

I agree!!!

I’m also not sure why you are so desperate to find playdates for your dog that you advertised on NextDoor. No offense, but that in itself seems odd to me. It’s like you’re trying to be the perfect homeschool mom... to your dog.  He doesn’t need dog friends so badly or so quickly that you have to try this hard to find them. Plenty of dogs have very little interaction with other dogs and they live very happy lives with their human families, so this doesn’t have to be such a huge, immediate concern. Others here have come up with lots of great ideas for you to meet new people and new dogs in a more natural and spontaneous way over time.

It seems like you are over-thinking and over-planning all of this. 

Ditch this crazy woman and move on. Because this woman wants your dog to sleep in her son’s bed. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. THAT IS WEIRD AND CREEPY AND OBSESSIVE. 

I know you want the best for your dog, but you are taking this socialization thing way too seriously. And please, stay off NextDoor! Finding new friends shouldn’t involve online advertising and an interview process. 

I'm NOT looking for new friends for me - that's hysterical.  For my dog.   No offense taken.  But, likewise, this is not our first rodeo.  We're entering our 30th year having dogs and I had a dog as a child.  My point is our first 2 labs were well loved and not deprived but I can't help but think they missed out "some" by not being able to play with dogs now and again.  With Shiloh I'm not looking for daily socialization (homeschool as you mentioned) but I'm trying to find a dog friend for her every now and then.  With that said, A muttered maybe twice weekly playdates.  So, with me looking at re-entering the work force ONLY VERY part-time and one that will work with Shiloh's scheudle, the playdates with this mom/dog combo will not work.  A is VERY DESPERATE to find a play date for her dog b/c her dog is a herding dog and must get the energy out.  

I did not ask to "drop off" my dog.  She suggested it.  

[Pen]

If either the other dog, or your dog has walked between the two houses, your dog can probably easily follow that trail. As easily as you could probably follow a set of written directions. Labs aren’t Bloodhounds, but they have pretty good noses.  Also they aren’t the top air scent dog breed, but have pretty decent abilities as would have been bred in for finding hunted birds to retrieve.  So finding a buddy (dog or boy) a few miles away is probably quite possible for a Lab.  

Otoh many Labs are pretty Velcro to their own people, and may not want to go off like that even if they can. Still, the more sleeping on someone’s bed etc there is the more likely Shiloh would be to want to seek out the boy.  Or the other dog if they get along great.

We have had a couple of “visiting” neighborhood  dogs because my son has thrown a ball for them to fetch.  (Our dog is generally the bestest but sadly doesn’t like to fetch. The neighbor dogs are fetch gluttons.)  I was requested by their owner to ask my son not to throw ball for them because it makes them eager to escape from their home and come over here.   It took a long time before they stopped coming and dropping balls at his feet.  

There was also a dog who was best friends with a now deceased dog of mine and used to frequently escape his home and come hang out on the other side of fence with my dog on our side till the other dog’s people came to capture  him.  (That was a yellow Labrador.)

I had a dog who used to “visit” the across the street neighbors rather often.  She knew their property  because I had spent time there.  And they had kids she adored, including two who were sometimes allowed to “borrow” her.  For example, one who would come over, knock and ask if Bestest could come out to play (much like as if Bestest were a human child).  So probably Bestest felt she could do the reverse and cross street to see if Childfriend could come out and play.  And as it often got rewarded, it often happened.   I wasn’t worried about that family stealing her, but did worry about her being hit by car.  Eventually better fencing solved that. 

[ktgrok]

3 hours ago, Selkie said:

Okay, now it has gotten even weirder! She is wanting to have your dog over for slumber parties?? I thought it was odd that she wanted you to drop the puppy off for playdates, but this goes way beyond.

I THINK the OP put on Next-door that she was looking for playdates but also a petsitter. So maybe the woman was thinking of that - of if she pet sit the dog where it could sleep? A LOT of her comments make more sense in the context of expecting to pet sit in the future. 

[Catwoman]

3 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

I THINK the OP put on Next-door that she was looking for playdates but also a petsitter. So maybe the woman was thinking of that - of if she pet sit the dog where it could sleep? A LOT of her comments make more sense in the context of expecting to pet sit in the future. 

 

 No matter how many times I read them, that woman and her son’s comments sound bizarre to me, and I wouldn’t have anything more to do with those people.

This may be a perfectly innocent situation, but I think when you reach the point of trying to find a way to interpret someone’s comments to justify them and to try to make them sound normal, I don’t think it’s worth taking any chances, mainly because there is absolutely no need for Shiloh to be friends with that particular dog. I would just politely decline any future invitations and move on. 

[DesertBlossom]

I just want to say thanks for all the puppy talk. A couple months ago we tragically lost both our dogs so we had all been scouring the internet to fill that hole in our hearts. DH was set on getting an Australian Shepherd but told me it might be a year before he found the right dog. So I found a sweet 7 month Golden Retriever mix that needed to be rehomed because of the owner's health issues. Two days after bringing him home DH drove 13 hours to pick up a 9 week old aussie. *face palm* 

For the last 3 weeks I have been up to my eyeballs in puppy training. It's part "THIS IS AWESOME!" and part "WHAT ON EARTH HAVE WE DONE?" Lol. I am on page 2 of the epic puppy training thread linked above. It has been helpful.

My younger self never would have identified as a dog person, but somehow I am now. I kinda get why the OP's new friend might say weird stuff. 😄 Good luck and I hope the pup doesn't get dog-napped. 

Speaking of-- what is the best age for microchips? I am kinda paranoid about losing this aussie because we have never spent that much money on a dog, and she is stinking adorable. 

[DesertBlossom]

I don't know if I should comment on the other thread and resurrect it or just comment here...  but I am super curious about the pronged collars mentioned by others. We have taken our GR on one walk and he did okayish. But a couple weeks ago when I took him to the vet he went NUTS. He couldn't have cared less about my pocket full of treats, he was going to play with all the dogs in the waiting room. He's already 60 lbs and strong so we ended up waiting outside because he would not stop lunging and settle down. Is a collar like that appropriate for new situations like that? I was already being judged by the other dog moms because of my giant ill-mannered puppy, but anything would have been better than how he was acting.

[sheryl]

DesertBlossem,  Congrats on your pups!  Shiloh turned 5 months on Monday, 2 days ago.  I had her microchipped when she was around 3-4 months, if my memory is correct.  I'd have to look at a receipt.  I think since people choose to get a microchip at any time that the same is true for having your dog microchipped.  Now I probably wouldn't m.c. an 8 week old but shortly after they come home I think would be good.  We normally get our dogs at 8/9 - 11 weeks of age.  

Sorry I can't help with the pronged collars.  LOL you're reading the thread.  It's long! 🙂  However, Bill or Katie (I think) suggested one pronged collar over another.  It's in that thread!  

[Pen]

I like prong collars—but wouldn’t use one for a young dog who was lunging.  

Waiting outside seems a better idea.

then gradual exposure to being calm around other dogs.  A group training class might help for him to work on calm around other dogs.  

[Pen]

Sprenger company though if you do get one. With quick release alligator clip.