What to do with preschooler?

[Janeway]

I am struggling with what to do with my preschooler.  I have tons of left over workbooks from the older kids so I really do not need anything more print. I ordered Koala Crates, but they seem to come with 3 projects each and each project takes maybe 30 minutes so that only takes up about an hour and a half of the month. I actually do a show (like Leap Frog videos, or PBS shows) a day, at least a show. I only started that in the last couple weeks. I have tried including him on my chores. He does along with us for gym classes and even is enrolled. We were going to park day but now it is too cold. And let's face it, we do need to be home sometime as I still need time to work with older kids. I have paints and crayons and playdough and Mad Matter, and K'nex and Lego and....it goes on and on. Yet, somehow, very quickly, as in, by 10am, he wants the ipad. He was happy and busy with all we did together for the first couple months of the school year. Now, he eats his cereal and then asks if when he finishes his homework, can he have the ipad. I also play board games with him. I use the "busy box" idea in that some of the toys are up in special boxes, only to be brought out during special times during the school day. We have puzzles, hot wheels, dolls, blocks, little people, etc etc etc.  I don't want him on the ipad so much or watching TV.  But he is basically getting so bored with what we do have. Which, well, we have a ton. 

 

Is there anything else I can do? Or is this just a tough phase that will pass eventually?

[Frances]

I think it’s honestly easier to not have TV or the iPad as options at all for that age. Although if it’s just one TV show a day, that’s also easy to make clear. But personally, I’d completely ditch the iPad. I think it’s a bit like junk food or simple carbs. Once you start eating it, nothing else seems quite as good. 

Have you tried audio books while he is playing? Do you and his siblings read aloud to him quite a bit during the day? Or do they take turns playing with him while you work with the others? I don’t know how many kids you have or their ages, so maybe that isn’t doable. Does he get lots of exercise, both inside and out, even when it isn’t gym day?

Is he modeling older siblings when asking for screens after HW? It seems a bit strange to me that HW or formal school at home  is even a thing for a preschooler, unless he’s asking for it in order to be like his older siblings. Does he play well on his own at other times, like evenings or weekends, or he is always used to playing with siblings?

Edited October 31, 2019 by Frances

[HomeAgain]

At that age, I cleaned out 4 or 6 cabinet doors and labeled them with: Math, science, art, etc.  All with a little picture on them.  Then I went through and matched up activities each day or week.  Like, we had c-rods, so a couple days math had pages of pictures to make with the rods (laying them on top), and science had things like leaf rubbings or simple experiments.  But they were all open ended activities on trays or in boxes that he could take to a little table and work on independently if he chose.  Most of the time I tried to theme things to what we were doing together during the week (making playdough planets, doing a marble painting, and exploring force as we did a space week).  There are a TON of ideas online for how to use things kids already have in new ways, so it's not a huge thing.  It's just mostly making a list of activities for each subject and rotating them out.

[Janeway]

9 hours ago, parent said:

How old is he?  Big difference between just 4 and almost 5.

My nearly 5 yr old has about a 15-20 min violin practice, which is just lots of exercises because he isn't playing yet.  We are doing LOE which is maybe 15-20 min but not every day.  He does some sort of math game, like counting on the abacus or rolling dice and saying amounts or saying which die is larger or making patterns.  So all of this school stuff is less than an hour.  He loves legos and spends most of his time with them for which I am grateful.  Also he builds with wood blocks or archiblock, knex, etc.  He loves to get a job.  He can empty the dishwasher basket of utensil in the drawer.  Sometimes he straightens the shoes, sometimes he sorts out all the socks in the clean laundry.  He listens when I read Life of Fred especially but sometimes to history and other books.  He watches Mystery Science lessons.   When I have a break between kids, I try to read him a picture book.  I do have boxes of stuff in the closet that I will get down when he needs something new, like a box of dominoes and lining them up will amuse him for awhile.  He also likes doing memory cards.  He really likes the Seemore, Can You See What I See books.  I will read the items, and he'll work on finding them, then I'll read the next few.  He loves these books. Sometimes just changing things up a little helps.  If he usually crayons, get out some watercolor paints, or even markers.  Sticker projects can be exciting as stickers are usually kept put away here.  He also likes to just cut up paper. Today he folded something and cut the edges and said it was a book.  Generally, I assume it's snowflakes but I just let him play and then sweep up the mess.

I do NOT allow tablets at home.  They are used when another child has to go to a music lesson or a sporting event.  This is a maximum of 2.5 hrs per week, though usually at the sport he plays much of the time with other kids his age, so it's more like 1.5 hrs per week at music lessons.  I also do not allow day time movies.  Very rarely (only twice since we started fall school), if he is restless and I'm very busy, I let him watch Cedarmont Kids which is just singing in different settings so I consider it ear training and not over stimulating.   I would put up the tablets and say the new rule is they are not allowed in the house.  I think it's unhealthy especially for very small children.

The age makes a big difference though.  My guy is so much better than last year.

Young 4 yr old.  I try to include him on chores, dishes being the best one. And include him on any lesson he can be included on, which has included Latin and Mystery Science and history. 

I think I will look for sticker activities at the store..maybe a bunch of stickers and figure something to do with them.

Edited October 31, 2019 by Janeway

[Janeway]

11 hours ago, Frances said:

I think it’s honestly easier to not have TV or the iPad as options at all for that age. Although if it’s just one TV show a day, that’s also easy to make clear. But personally, I’d completely ditch the iPad. I think it’s a bit like junk food or simple carbs. Once you start eating it, nothing else seems quite as good. 

Have you tried audio books while he is playing? Do you and his siblings read aloud to him quite a bit during the day? Or do they take turns playing with him while you work with the others? I don’t know how many kids you have or their ages, so maybe that isn’t doable. Does he get lots of exercise, both inside and out, even when it isn’t gym day?

Is he modeling older siblings when asking for screens after HW? It seems a bit strange to me that HW or formal school at home  is even a thing for a preschooler, unless he’s asking for it in order to be like his older siblings. Does he play well on his own at other times, like evenings or weekends, or he is always used to playing with siblings?

I have some of the school work on one of the ipads. It is TGTB. I only wanted to print the pages he writes on. Maybe I should just suck it up and print the entire thing? When he sees the ipad come out, he gets worked up and says it is his turn.

[wendyroo]

1 hour ago, Janeway said:

I have some of the school work on one of the ipads. It is TGTB. I only wanted to print the pages he writes on. Maybe I should just suck it up and print the entire thing? When he sees the ipad come out, he gets worked up and says it is his turn.

Maybe you could use this to your advantage.  ie If he stays occupied until it is time for TGTB, then afterwards he can have 20 more minutes of tablet time. 

My 4 year old has a picture check list similar to her brothers' school check lists.  Hers has things like doing a puzzle, listening to a story, doing some sort of art, choosing 4 animal movement cards and going around "the circle" (kitchen, hall, office, dining room) like that animal, doing a chore, sharpening 4 pencils (a favorite activity of hers), doing a busy bag, helping make snack, taking a "play bath" with lots of toys, and playing in the playroom by herself for 30 minutes.  Each day's list is a little different to keep things interesting and to fit in with the rest of our schedule.  If she completes her activities with a minimum of whining, then during the last 20 minutes of school time she can choose either TV or tablet time.

Wendy

[Janeway]

2 hours ago, wendyroo said:

Maybe you could use this to your advantage.  ie If he stays occupied until it is time for TGTB, then afterwards he can have 20 more minutes of tablet time. 

My 4 year old has a picture check list similar to her brothers' school check lists.  Hers has things like doing a puzzle, listening to a story, doing some sort of art, choosing 4 animal movement cards and going around "the circle" (kitchen, hall, office, dining room) like that animal, doing a chore, sharpening 4 pencils (a favorite activity of hers), doing a busy bag, helping make snack, taking a "play bath" with lots of toys, and playing in the playroom by herself for 30 minutes.  Each day's list is a little different to keep things interesting and to fit in with the rest of our schedule.  If she completes her activities with a minimum of whining, then during the last 20 minutes of school time she can choose either TV or tablet time.

Wendy

Oh! I will try the check list thing with him! Older kids do not have it because they have a binder each and then a todo folder kind of thing. Nothing they do is really independent, but they know what we are doing and have anything associated with the activities sitting out. I actually have our rainbow project on the table right now as four year old never touched it. Our problem with the tablet is, saying just a certain amount of time has not been working because once he has it, he won't give it up.

[Janeway]

4 hours ago, parent said:

Ah, that makes it hard if school work is on the tablet.

I guess, I would try to have a few different things that are put up so seem "new" when you get them out.  Wiki sticks are fun.  We got those out last week during a time of boredom.  Even just the difference between play dough and clay can be enough to capture interest here.  I also sometimes let him play with a game, but you'd know if this would work and you wouldn't lose pieces.  Blokus works well.  He will put the game pieces on like a puzzle.  Can your older kids take breaks from school work and play with your PK for 10 min?  That happens naturally here (where are you? Go back to the table!), but does probably help with my PK's day.

His school work is not on the tablet, but older kids have books on there, that is school work, on the tablet. So he sees it then.

[wendyroo]

4 hours ago, Janeway said:

Our problem with the tablet is, saying just a certain amount of time has not been working because once he has it, he won't give it up.

This is why I choose the timing very carefully.  I always give the tablet until it is time for the next concrete, semi-desirable activity.  So I time it such that the child can play until lunch or until we leave for the library or until it is playdoh time.  I can still normally finesse the schedule such that the child is playing for about 20 minutes, but it has always been much easier for my kiddos to transition after those 20 minutes from the tablet directly into doing something else fun rather than just transitioning off the tablet without a concrete next activity in place.

Wendy

[wendyroo]

19 hours ago, Janeway said:

Oh! I will try the check list thing with him! Older kids do not have it because they have a binder each and then a todo folder kind of thing. 

Maybe your preschool would like a to-do folder as well then...he could even decorate it to make it his.

You could take index cards and draw one activity on each.  Then each morning choose some and put them into his to-do folder.  He could then look through his folder and choose what he wants to do first, second, etc.  You could also add in a maze, dot-to-dot, coloring page, cut and paste craft, etc.  Just an assortment of activities (not too many so as to be overwhelming) so that he can feel big having his own folder full of big-kid things to do.

[Elizabeth86]

The thing with my 4 year old is I can't just let her watch a show, it just ruins her mood and she wants more.  One is never enough.  If I say,no screen today, she whines around a bit then she finds something to keep her busy all day. I had my oldest 2 watch screen as a distraction so I could do stuff a lot and now they would watch a screen 24/7 if I let them.  If we go a few days without dd watching screen at all, she never asks.  Then she will wake up really early one morning and I ask her if she wants to watch a show and then she asks all day.  So, I am no longer a fan of screens for kids.  Lol.  

[Ellie]

On 10/31/2019 at 10:32 AM, Janeway said:

I have some of the school work on one of the ipads. It is TGTB. I only wanted to print the pages he writes on. Maybe I should just suck it up and print the entire thing? When he sees the ipad come out, he gets worked up and says it is his turn.

That's what I would do. If the tablet is a problem, then do whatever it takes to not use it.

[Ellie]

Would it be possible for your older dc to take turns playing with the little one? Maybe in 15 minute increments? And a 4yo is old enough to be learning to entertain himself and to have some discipline involved if he purposely bothers/annoys others.

[lots of little ducklings]

On 11/2/2019 at 6:34 AM, Elizabeth86 said:

The thing with my 4 year old is I can't just let her watch a show, it just ruins her mood and she wants more.  One is never enough.  If I say,no screen today, she whines around a bit then she finds something to keep her busy all day. I had my oldest 2 watch screen as a distraction so I could do stuff a lot and now they would watch a screen 24/7 if I let them.  If we go a few days without dd watching screen at all, she never asks.  Then she will wake up really early one morning and I ask her if she wants to watch a show and then she asks all day.  So, I am no longer a fan of screens for kids.  Lol.  

 

This is us.

Screens just create so many problems that I limit them severely.  Short shows after school while I cook dinner (which really only happens about  3x/week lol), and the older kids use an iPad for quizlet and spelling practice .  That's it.  No games because that produces more arguing than tv.  Even a kindergarten math book recommended by WTM (that came with a computer game on cd) was such a problem I've boxed it to sell it.  The second grader still teases me incessantly for it.  Ugh.  

[Frances]

I thought of this thread when I read this article today.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/04/well/family/screen-use-tied-to-childrens-brain-development.html?fallback=false&recId=536027984&locked=0&geoContinent=NA&geoRegion=OR&recAlloc=control&geoCountry=US&blockId=discovery-automated&imp_id=409084828