Can we discuss requests for an “offline/unplugged” wedding?

[brehon]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

 

Then I would think they would say, "No drawing sketches or painting watercolors of the bride and groom" or even further back, "No chiseling out replicas of the bride and groom."

Egads! I have to leave my wax tablet and stylus at home?!?! I *just* bought a new stylus from Gaius Andronicus ~ you know him, little shop just off the Forum, best place for writing implements. 

[Terabith]

When I went to Hamilton at the Kennedy Center, EVERYONE was taking pictures, especially before the play and during intermission.  And yes, ushers were constantly asking people to put away phones.  But those same people got them out again two minutes later.  People were shocked that we didn't take selfies there, despite the prohibition.  

[GoodGrief]

I thought of this thread this past weekend as I photographed an "unplugged" wedding. The couple had a big sign at the entrance to the ceremony site and then had the officiant make an announcement just before the ceremony. It was awesome that there was no one hanging out in the aisle to get cell phone shots of the bride as she made her way to the front :-) There were plenty of phones out at the reception and before/after the ceremony, and the couple was fine with that. Generally, the "ban" is mostly about keeping the ceremony more photogenic for the hired photographer and videographer, not so much about keeping phones more the premises altogether,

[Ellie]

On 10/20/2019 at 7:53 AM, Quill said:

So, if you’re not familiar, this would be, you attend a wedding and there is a sign or a notice in the program for guests to not use their phones/not take pictures (I’m not sure if this would include a guest with a regular camera or not), not posting/texting/sharing digitally the wedding for the duration of the wedding and/or reception. 

The first moment I heard of this, it kind of did appeal - after all, that was the case when I got married! Nobody did selfies or snaps or FB check-ins 25 years ago. 

But, having been to weddings recently with young people, I have started thinking it’s a bit dictatorial and an anachronism. Young people communicate with their peers heavily through digital sharing. It’s just what they do. It actually does start to seem a bit selfish to dictate that nobody can use their phones in the way they are accustomed to and expected to. Many or most young people don’t even own a regular camera and aren’t that likely to even bring a real camera to a wedding; they would expect to use their phones. 

PS, this is hypothetical in my current life, but I did just see pictures from a wedding and that was the first picture - a sign announcing the wedding is “unplugged” and requesting guests turn off and put away all phones and devices for the duration. 

PSS, obviously this assumes the person is using their phone discretely and not usurping the actual wedding photographer or being obtrusive, which, I have not seen anyone using a phone obtrusively at any wedding. Of course it would be rude to jump out in the aisle for a Snap while the bride is entering; I dont mean that type of abuse. 

That young people communicate with their peers heavily in any way is irrelevant. Good manners are good manners; if young people are unaware that talking or texting to their friends during a wedding is bad manners, that's on them, maybe on their parents, who got too sucked up into the idea that young people communicate digitally and so good manners are irrelevant, didn't instruct them properly. Which also means that there shouldn't be a notice in the program or a sign somewhere telling guests not to use their phones, just as the wedding invitations wouldn't tell guests how to dress.

[BusyMom5]

Maybe some of this has more to do with manners?  I think its rude to post pics of anything before the Bride does.  Same for being where the photographer is.  The weddings I've been to I've either been helping or herding children, but I didnt notice too many phones out during the ceremonies.  My kids are in an upcoming wedding, and I do plan to take a few pics of them up front during the ceremony.   The main photographer will be taking pics of the couple, but I know the bride and groom will love any cute photos of the kids.  I will be on the front row,  I'm not standing up, lifting my camera, ect.  One way to avoid too many photographers is to do pics before the ceremony or to have guests in another area when pics are being done.  Candid shots in the ceremony and walking down the aisle are the two times I can see asking people to refrain from taking pics.

 

I'm old- we had a cheap photographer at our wedding, and the disposable cameras for the guests afterwards.  I remember all the aunts and grandmas sent me copies (like real photos) of shots taken of family, ect.  Some were better than the photographers.  

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Ellie said:

That young people communicate with their peers heavily in any way is irrelevant. Good manners are good manners; if young people are unaware that talking or texting to their friends during a wedding is bad manners, that's on them, maybe on their parents, who got too sucked up into the idea that young people communicate digitally and so good manners are irrelevant, didn't instruct them properly. Which also means that there shouldn't be a notice in the program or a sign somewhere telling guests not to use their phones, just as the wedding invitations wouldn't tell guests how to dress.

I think the phone prohibition is almost totally about photos and posting to SM. I haven’t seen any young people who text or play Candy Crush during a wedding. I guess it never hurts to remind people, just as they do in church or the theatre, but I think the main thing is not photographing the couple or the wedding. I’m not completely in agreement with that. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Patty Joanna said:

The other thing is this:  I saw a bride and groom and some other people--wedding party? family? at the beach last year, getting their photos taken.  In watching them, my dh and I sort of pieced together what was going on.  They were already married.  The wedding was last month or something.  And they hadn't had it professionally photographed...so here they were, back in their wedding clothes and having a BLAST--their dog was scampering around, the sunset was beautiful, and for the first time EVER in my 15 years of going to that beach ,there was a pod of orcas leaping around in the water, just a bit off-shore.  The bride didn't care whether her dress got ruined at this point, so they got some really fun sandcastle photos, and at the end, some photos of them actually IN the water.  THAT is what I would do, if I were getting married these days.  Give everyone a big fat blessing to use their phone cameras because you know they are going to anyway, and ask them to send them all to you.  That will get the candids and the records of the moments of the actual ceremony.  Then, go have a really fun photoshoot when I could just have a blast--and good weather!

THAT is an outstanding idea. I’m filing this one away in my “future wedding thoughts” bank. 

[EmseB]

3 hours ago, Quill said:

THAT is an outstanding idea. I’m filing this one away in my “future wedding thoughts” bank. 

I think that is a thing now, look up "trash the dress" photo sessions.  They get extreme, but a lot of people just run into the ocean, play on the beach, etc.