When perfect is the enemy of done... getting rid of stuff

[Katy]

In short, we just moved to a different state and I'm feeling guilty about not being able to recycle or donate stuff I don't want to put into the garbage.  I'm having anxiety that I NEED to get it out of my garage but there is no good place to take it to the way there was at our old house.

We have cardboard piled so deep in the garage that I cannot park there.  I'm used to recycling cardboard.  There's no easy way to do that here.  The recycling bin says no corrugated cardboard.  I spent a couple of days tracking down a recycling center, driving to the wrong spot by GPS twice, stopping and asking for directions, and expecting to find a huge recycling center with a dumpster for cardboard.  Instead there are only a handful of the tiny single stream bins I already have in front of the entrance to the landfill, and they don't take cardboard either.  I can't compost per the HOA.  I'm basically stuck with the landfill. 

I'm also having trouble finding places to donate kids clothes.  We have a large extended family and the youngest kids so we get a lot of hand-me-downs. Which is great but it means I have a LOT of clothes we'll never even use and no place to hand it down to.  I've spent hours trying to find clothing closets or thrift stores and the closest one is about an hour's drive one-way.  I currently have 3 garbage bags of kids clothes in the garage that need to go somewhere but I don't think any of it is worth paying about a hundred bucks for shipping and I don't have 4 hours to drive it to the closest goodwill.

I realize once we get more plugged into the community here we will meet someone who can take it, or find a hoarding grandma or a church quilting club or something, but in the mean time I want it out of my house and the trash just seems SO WRONG.

Am I being ridiculous?  Do I need to remind myself many clothing donations and recycling bins go to a landfill anyway?  At what point do you just throw the stuff out and be done with it?

[forty-two]

We did just throw out most of our cardboard boxes.  There is no recycling here at all (which is so weird to me, even after a year here we still maintain our dedicated "paper trash" can, even though it just goes into the big trash can with the rest in the end).  I hate throwing out good boxes, but when we found a black widow (!) in the packing material in the garage - well, that was a great impetus to just chucking it.  (God help me, I moved to a place where it is *normal* to find black widows in one's garage every so often :svengo:.  Everyone I told that story to just nodded their heads and said, "Yup, that happens sometimes.")  I saved the 15 or so best boxes, breaking them down and storing them in the attic, and let dh throw out the rest (wearing gloves to handle them!).

ETA: WRT old clothes, idk if this is a great thing to do, but what I would likely actually do: if there was ever a chance I'd end up in one of the towns with a donation place, I'd save the clothes and take them with me whenever I ended up going.  I don't have as many old clothes as you do right now, but what we do is just save them till our church's rummage sale (once or twice a year) or till we go see out-of-state relatives (once a year).  Not sure that's the greatest option (and we can't even keep them in the garage (bugs!)), but that's what I do.  The "collecting for rummage sale" old clothes bag is on the dog crate in my bedroom , and that's where they live in near-perpetuity.

Edited October 8, 2019 by forty-two

[mlktwins]

Having just cleaned out my dad's house of 50+ years, just dump it and be DONE!!!  I am in the same boat as you cleaning out my house.  I am doing the best I can getting rid of stuff the "right" way, but really, I need it gone for my mental health.  I AM being more aware of what I bring into my house now though to try not to contribute to the problem anymore.

 

[forty-two]

I will say, our garage is still full-ish of random crap, and it does bug me.  We have it useable-ish, in that we can now get to everything we need to get to, plus have a decent walking path from the door to the house to the car in the driveway, and (with five minutes of moving) can get one car in the garage in case of hail-storm.  But it needs a really good sweeping, and it can't get that while there's all the crap in the corners - crap that I'm scared to touch for fear of black widows.  So I've just left it for dh, who occasionally puts on gloves and tackles a spot - so there's incremental improvement.  And it's at a level now that I can live with - it was a really milestone for me when that happened.  So I guess vote for pitching everything it takes to get it liveable enough.  Maybe toss all the cardboard and rearrange - see if you can live with the clothes bags for a while or not.

[mlktwins]

Coming back to add that I have spent probably the past 5-8 years wanting to declutter my own house.  I would get started, something would come up and take priority, I would get back to it.  But...it was always hanging over my head.  Then...my dad happened and I had ZERO spare time to do anything other than to survive this past year - other than taking care of him and getting his stuff cleaned out and his house sold.  I am just now starting to get back to being able to work on some of my stuff again.

I'm saying this because I wish I had just done it before and not talked/thought about it so much!  Then something very unexpected came at me (my dad) and I still had all this stuff hanging over my head.  And...I cleaned out all my dad's junk!!!!!  

If it bothers you and you think about it too much (knowing it is there and something you need to deal with), get it OUT!!!  Don't wait until something happens and then you don't have the time/energy/health to deal with it.

[PeachyDoodle]

For the clothes, check and see if there is a God's Closet ministry anywhere near you: http://www.godscloset.com/

[mlktwins]

Here is a thread I started back in August.  Maybe some info that will help in there :-).  Good luck!  I'm off to finish my 2018 taxes that didn't get done by April - cause I was cleaning out my dad's house -- LOL.

[Carrie12345]

Recycling is in such a sad state these days. The kids and I took a tour of our center not so long ago.  What we were told is that China doesn’t want our recycling anymore because of how absolutely terrible we are at sorting.  Is that the whole truth? Probably not. But I can say that we saw with our very own eyes how awful our area is about it.  I don’t remember the percentages they gave, but the majority of “single stream” contained straight garbage.  The more specific a company’s sort policy, the “cleaner” it was, but still had plenty of junk mixed in.

Funny enough, my township has bins for single stream and separate ones for corrugated cardboard!  But, if it makes you feel any better, it’s probably got a better shot at decomposing in a landfill than becoming something else in a single stream recycling bin.

[prairiewindmomma]

I would try one last round on Facebook (because every community seems to have a facebook group) offering up free clothes and boxes....and then I would feel peace. And I’d give it only a week. 

[Katy]

1 hour ago, Dotwithaperiod said:

I’d have little guilt throwing the cardboard out. But have you seen any of those clothing dumpsters in town? They have them near churches, in the Walmart parking lot, and by the libraries here. They usually say clothing/shoes only. I’ve also seen clothing advertised on FB marketplace or Craigslist, with the title “ Free children’s clothes-must take all”.

No.  I noticed one about 90 minutes from here when we were driving around looking at houses.

I've heard too many stories of people getting robbed to bother with craigslist or similar online markets.

 

1 hour ago, happysmileylady said:

Have you tried the free section of craigslist?  I just had someone pick up a giant non working chest freezer and a mangled bent up "easy up" tent frame.  We just set it out on the curb, took a pic, posted the ad, within 24 hours, it disappeared.  We didn't even make contact with whoever took the stuff.  Just put the address in the ad, they drive by and haul it away.

 

Even in the semi rural area we used to live in, ads for stuff on the curb tended to have the stuff disappear pretty quick.  

 

I did curb alerts for furniture at our old house but our HOA forbids it here.  There's an apartment complex in the neighborhood we walk our dogs past every dayand they constantly have furniture in front of their dumpsters.  Nice stuff I'm surprised no one has taken.

40 minutes ago, PeachyDoodle said:

For the clothes, check and see if there is a God's Closet ministry anywhere near you: http://www.godscloset.com/

 

No there's not.   Maybe when I get rid of the cardboard I'll feel less stressed about the clothes.  It's just a change in seasons and I know I need to go through the kids clothing again and weed out the old stuff which will make even more bags..

[prairiewindmomma]

Then, given your situation (safety about online markets), dump and move on. 

[mom2scouts]

Would any of your local schools take some of the clothes? Our schools always ask for things like shirts, sweatpants, and jackets because kids get wet or muddy on the playground, have bathroom accidents, spill food on their clothes, or lose jackets.

[maize]

Throw it out.

There is a cost to having things go into landfills vs. recycling, yes, but there is a very real cost as well to the stress of having junk hanging over your head. Stress is horrible for our health, and poor health results in intense use of resources.

Recycling isn't always very much more efficient (and sometimes less efficient) than the landfill.

Edited October 8, 2019 by maize

[happi duck]

You're new to the area?  Maybe ask around if there's any sort of annual rummage sale so you could plan to take stuff there when the time comes.

 

[marbel]

I would throw stuff away with no guilt.  Yeah, I believe in recycling and I recycle what I can. But I am also pretty sure that because "we" have made throwing away trash an evil to be avoided at all costs, people are attempting to recycle or donate unusable stuff that ends up in the landfill anyway.  There is a cost to that, too.

I believe in doing the best we can with the resources we have. Right now you have no resources to get rid of stuff by donation or recycling. Let go of the guilt, don't feel you have to drive around, research, wait for some special event, etc, etc, all the while hanging on to the stuff.  Get rid of the stuff and get on with your life. 

ETA: Also, and please don't think I assume you are like this, but so often people overvalue their stuff. Like people who donate ratty stained, torn clothing to a clothing drive for a shelter or something (I've experienced that).  Or a personal peeve: "I paid good money for this!" As if we all haven't paid "good" money (whatever that means) for everything.  Those things just feed into "we can't possibly throw stuff away" mentality.

 

Edited October 8, 2019 by marbel

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, Katy said:

  There's an apartment complex in the neighborhood we walk our dogs past every day and they constantly have furniture in front of their dumpsters.

 

Many people in my area ask for moving boxes. If your cardboard boxes are still in good condition, I would leave them in front of the furniture in front of the dumpsters. That way someone can use those for moving, storage, or lining their car trunks.

[Catwoman]

I just wanted to say that I really needed this thread today. 

I have been stressing over what to do with all of the random stuff I have been decluttering, and you guys just gave me the permission I needed to throw most of it away.

Thank you!

[PeterPan]

Flylady says just throw it away. Don't yardsale, don't say it has value, just THROW IT AWAY.

I just got rid of (sold to one person who came to my house) tons of my ds' and dd's outgrown clothing, way more than your 3 bags. That's so little I would toss. Unless the clothes are within the last few years or name brand, people won't even want them.

Throw it all away and move on.

Btw, have you tried Freecycle? That's the other thing people will do around here. But be brutal. Like it lists 3 days on freecycle and it's OUT of the house.

Edited October 8, 2019 by PeterPan

[KathyBC]

Not sure how the population/shopping dynamic is exactly where you are. I drive into the nearest big city (about an hour away) once a month. That's when my big bags of clothes get put in the vehicle and dropped off first thing if possible, so I then have room for my other shopping to come home. And many, many years ago, that's how we recycled too. We do have local recycling now.

[gstharr]

"When perfect is the enemy of done".  Only people I ever heard use something similar to this phrase are surgeons. 

[Katy]

1 hour ago, KathyBC said:

Not sure how the population/shopping dynamic is exactly where you are. I drive into the nearest big city (about an hour away) once a month. That's when my big bags of clothes get put in the vehicle and dropped off first thing if possible, so I then have room for my other shopping to come home. And many, many years ago, that's how we recycled too. We do have local recycling now.

 

The problem is the closest Goodwill is the opposite direction of, say, Costco.  But that's the way I shopped in our last town too.  Donate box in the coat closet.

1 hour ago, gstharr said:

"When perfect is the enemy of done".  Only people I ever heard use something similar to this phrase are surgeons. 

 

I'm not a surgeon.  I did go back to school for nursing after college and worked with some for a while, but I don't recall any of them using that phrase.  I thought I learned it maybe in a productivity class like Franklin Covey or in one of those books about being a better home manager. 

[Roadrunner]

Post on Facebook sales page and say it’s free. Somebody will message you for it.

[kristin0713]

I donate or sell what I can but throw out the rest with NO GUILT.  I can’t wait around for freecycle and Facebook pickups and drive all over trying to re-home or recycle things. Not at this point in my life when all the stuff gives me increasing anxiety. Toss it and be done. 

[Ali in OR]

An Oregonian here. We're big re-users and recyclers. Don't put it in the landfill!!! There ARE people who need free kids clothes. There are probably people who need boxes. Around here, we can put cardboard in recycling but we can also put it in our yard waste containers (it's composted). In fact, we can even put greasy pizza boxes in yard waste. We have a local facebook site for a "gifting economy" where people give away stuff to reduce waste. There is usually always someone who can use what you want to get rid of (especially kids clothes). Moving boxes are also popular. If you don't want them to know your address, you just have them pm their address to you and you can drop it off at your convenience. Or meet up at a public place. I would also check local schools or head start/preschools to see if they know of families that could use the clothing.

[Carol in Cal.]

Re the clothes—you might be able to donate them to an animal shelter to use as cuddlies.

Re the cardboard, do you have a local community garden?  Sometimes they want cardboard for mulch.

[maize]

In our area local schools always have community recycling dumpsters for paper and cardboard. Have you checked that possibility yet? We are fortunate to have one just a few blocks away.

Again, no guilt if they need to go in a landfill just to be dealt with expeditiously. The school recycling bins are the very easiest thing to do with cardboard here so I thought I would mention it in case you haven't checked.

[J-rap]

We moved over the summer, and during the 6 months before that, I was really careful about donating, recycling, disposing of in an environmentally-friendly fashion, etc.  A week before moving day, I finally had to just toss everything else.  It hurt my heart to do that, but I didn't know what else to do.  Now I can start with a clean slate, don't feel overwhelmed, and can take a little more time finding ways to dispose of things properly in the future in our new area.

 

[KathyBC]

22 hours ago, Katy said:

 

The problem is the closest Goodwill is the opposite direction of, say, Costco.  But that's the way I shopped in our last town too.  Donate box in the coat closet.

That's frustrating! Mind-boggling that it would be big enough for a Costco but not for a clothing donation location of some sort. My only other suggestion is to see if the town with your shopping destination has a local facebook group; you could try asking on there for donation/recycling locations.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

12 minutes ago, Patty Joanna said:

If it makes you feel any better, my dh was reading just last week about how 90% of the non-aluminum recycling goes ... to the landfill.  

At the local schools, they have the multi-hole disposal bins (paper, garbage, compost, etc.) but underneath the lid, it is all one big bin.  

This is the sort of thing that makes one a little cynical.  Alas.

 

 

Yup, there was a news story locally a couple years ago.  The investigative reporter followed the recycling trucks with a camera, all the way to the dump, where they lined up to dump their loads into the landfill with all the other garbage.  I don't think it's gotten much better.

OP, is there a Freecycle.org near you?  They exist solely to help folks find new homes for their old stuff, to keep it out of landfills.  People just give stuff to each other.  That might work if your boxes are clean.  Check also to see if there is a Nextdoor.com for your neighborhood.  There might be a Facebook group for your local area as we'll.  Any of these type places might help you find new homes for your stuff.  If, after a short time looking (maybe 30 minutes?), I'd just throw it all away.