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Sudden onset dementia. Assault? And a WWYD

Spryte

By Spryte,
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Catwoman

Catwoman

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Posted

How is your mom doing today, Spryte? I hope she is starting to feel better.

One thing I was just thinking — have you checked her apartment to make sure she wasn’t robbed? Are her valuables and jewelry accounted for? Are her wallet and her handbag where they are supposed to be? Are her house keys there? (Pay particular attention to the keys, because if they are missing, I would worry that an attacker might be planning to return.)

 

 

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EmseB

EmseB

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I'm so sorry this happened. My grandma got dementia rather acutely (or it seemed that way to a lot of people; I think my grandpa covered for her for longer than we knew) but it wasn't anything like this situation. In any case, I know what it feels like to suddenly have someone's mental capacity disappear before your eyes. I hope you are able to find some answers. 

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unsinkable

unsinkable

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I think there is a type of dementia that involves water on the brain that can come on rather quickly...I'm not an expert but I think it is Normal Pressure Hydrocephalis.

It's been a while since I've looked into it but I think a drain is usually placed and the patient can improve just as quickly.

But check it out...like I said, I'm not an expert so I may have details wrong.

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gardenmom5

gardenmom5

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3 hours ago, Thatboyofmine said:

My word, this is awful.  How scary for you and your mom!   I hope that the police will figure it out quickly.  People who prey on the elderly deserve a special place in hell, IMO.    If her residence doesn’t have cameras, is it possible the businesses around it might?   Could show if anyone unfamiliar went inside the facility?  It might also show cars’ license plates?  Idk.  I’m just trying to think of some way to figure out what exactly happened.   Gentle (((hugs))) for mom.  

I agree they deserve a special place.

My concern would be if she's in any type of senior care facility - it's an employee.  and it would need to be time-stamped cameras in the hallways to track movement.  creeps who get off on that, will seek out those types of places for access to victims.  just like pedophiles go work with children.

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Spryte

Spryte

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Thank you for all the well wishes.
 

I’m proud of my mom today.

She woke this morning, and ate breakfast, had coffee and asked for her lipstick.  She was herself.  I have never been so happy to have her back.  She could walk, and was completely lucid.

She spoke to her nurse about what she believes happened, and we called the police together.

An officer went to her apartment to check it out.  And then it all just ... exploded.  They could tell something had happened. I probably should not post anything too detailed, but neighbors heard something, a lot of material has been removed from my mom’s apartment for testing, and they already have a strong suspect.

The hospital discharged my mom today after she was cleared by psych (we asked for an eval, and psych said this is a possible stress reaction, as we were learning more about what had happened).  

We went to the hospital with the forensics nurses, and my mother wins Bravest 78 Yr Old of the Year.  She couldn’t tolerate a full exam but they got a lot of info and a partial exam.  And I’m so grateful we went because we had not considered STIs.  She’s had prophylactic doses for many, and will be on 28 days of HIV prophylactics. 

Whenever she has to answer questions about Fri night, she becomes ... withdrawn and forgetful.  But she got through the exam. And she remembered a little more.  Which was awful to hear.

We got home late tonight, she showered and ate ice cream. She’s tucked into bed now.

I am stunned and heartbroken.  This is my mother.  I am also fighting rage, and not just at the man but at the people who heard it happening and didn’t call 911.  
 

I hope they get some DNA and catch him. She only put herself through the exam to spare other women this. So catching him would make it worth it. Her memory is faulty so obviously she can’t help much - I guess it all depends on DNA and other factors, if that’s even possible.

We have follow up with all her docs, plus an ID.  I’m hoping the sudden dementia was stress, and will fully go away as she processes this.

That’s the update.  I’ll delete this in a day or two, so please don’t quote. 

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Spryte

Spryte

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5 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

 that's horrific for a 78 year old woman - it's bad enough for a younger woman who is healthy.  I hope they get enough evidence for a conviction.


Yes.  78.  I can’t comprehend it.  There are monsters in the world.

My DH suggested that the we check for anyone with a sexual predator history at the next facility.  We would never, ever have thought of that before.
 

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Catwoman

Catwoman

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Your mom is a truly brave and amazing woman.

I hope the police catch the horrible person who did this, and it makes me sick that people heard your mom being attacked, yet never called 911 — and they could have also yelled loudly and made a lot of noise to possibly scare the guy away before he had a chance to assault your mom, even if they were too scared to go out into the hallway. I know this sounds mean, but I hope those people are riddled with guilt for not having made a simple phone call to try to save your mom. And it sounds like no one even checked on her afterward, either. That’s just awful. 

I’m so sorry, Spryte.  Your mom is so fortunate to have you to help her through this.  

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itsheresomewhere

itsheresomewhere

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5 hours ago, Spryte said:


Yes.  78.  I can’t comprehend it.  There are monsters in the world.

My DH suggested that the we check for anyone with a sexual predator history at the next facility.  We would never, ever have thought of that before.
 

While that is helpful to a point, always remember the ones who haven’t been caught yet so they aren’t on a list.  They become residents also. Instead of just checking that,  look at camera placements.  Some places use a card reader system like hotels so they have a time/date of everyone who accessed that room.  I would look into what safety features each place has.

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Jaybee

Jaybee

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This situation has been so heavy on my heart. I'm so glad your mom is doing better. I'm sure being believed is very good for her as well, even though it means she has to try to remember more details. I hate it that she is going through this, but I'm so glad you pursued it and something concrete is being done. I really hope they can nail this guy. Your mom is awesome.

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TravelingChris

TravelingChris

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On 10/7/2019 at 5:12 AM, Spryte said:

Thank you all.

Right after posting, I decided to call the police and ask for advice. I just couldn’t sit on it, she asked for help and I had to do something.  Even though, right now, she doesn’t remember.

So I spoke to a deputy on duty. I was very clear that she does not remember anything and since 3:00 pm today she doesn’t know where she is.  That I don’t know if something happened but here are all the facts, as I know them. He took the story to his supervisor.  And then, just like that, it was all rolling.  We met at the hospital (despite me wanting to wait till morning because she’s not lucid now).  He spoke to the nurses, got her medical records.  The nurse explained to him that speaking to her now, in her state won’t do any good.  She’s not oriented, doesn’t know her name, birthdate, etc.  So hopefully we can try in the am.

Here’s where we are now:  he’s filing a criminal activity report.  If she is lucid in the am, they will send a detective to her apartment, transfer hospitals so we can do a forensics kit, etc.  But for now, I can take this to her apartment management and try to see if they have cameras, at least.

Hopefully she will be lucid in the am.

I’m disappointed that they can’t just do a kit to rule it out.  I would have liked a better answer.  Then again, maybe that would just be so hard on my mom.... they would have transferred her tonight, I think.

Anyway, it’s not much, but I got it started.  

Hopefully she will be more aware in the morning.

This is horrible.

...and I thought every hospital ER had forensics kits???  Ugh

There was a news report last year or earlier this year that in our state, z lot do not. My daughter had an acquaintance who needed one in a major city in another state and went to one of the major hospitals there and they didn't have one either.  It is a huge problem because there is no funding, just like w inpatient mental health care- can't break even.

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Kate in Arabia

Kate in Arabia

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I am so very sorry for what you and your family are dealing with, I share your despair that monsters like this exist and your anger that people might have heard and done nothing.. even afterwards.  My best healing wishes to you all, on all levels... my parents are at a similar age, they become so vulnerable/fragile...

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TheReader

TheReader

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Oh my word....I am so very sorry, Spryte. Prayers for your mom as she recovers from this horror, and for you as you help her and process all of this yourself. I can't even imagine. I'm so grateful you're in such close contact with her, so frequent, so you knew the instant something was wrong. (((((a million hugs)))))) to her & you. 

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Jaybee

Jaybee

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4 minutes ago, TheReader said:

Oh my word....I am so very sorry, Spryte. Prayers for your mom as she recovers from this horror, and for you as you help her and process all of this yourself. I can't even imagine. I'm so grateful you're in such close contact with her, so frequent, so you knew the instant something was wrong. (((((a million hugs)))))) to her & you. 

Yes! How (much more) horrible it would be if she were alone, with no one to advocate for her! What a blessing it must be to her to have you in her corner.

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J-rap

J-rap

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I'm so, so sorry this happened to your mother.  It makes me sick.  What kind of a monster would do something so horrific.  She is a brave woman, and thank goodness she has you to advocate for her and be there with her.  I'm so glad the police are on it and pray they catch the suspect quickly.

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