Menu
Jump to content

What's with the ads?

CuriousMomof3

Do your kids have Godparents?

Recommended Posts

Yes, some don't do much and others make sure to spend some time connecting with the kid regularly or doing special things like baking them cookies just for the heck of it.

My godson is only 5 and I see him at least twice a week along with the rest of his siblings who are my nieces and nephews. So I'm close with all of them but I try hard to spend some time with just him every few visits. When he's a bit older I hope to spend time with him doing things directly associated with Catholicism

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter has godparents because that is required to have children baptized in our church. We moved away and we don't keep in touch with them. 

ETA that for us, this just a religious requirement. We never expected it to be an important relationship. 

I'm a godmother to my niece and nephew. Obviously I have a relationship with them but not in a religious way. I converted to a different religious later and neither my niece nor nephew is a practicing Catholic today. 

Edited by Ordinary Shoes
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nope. It doesn't seem to be that common among folks we know. Then again, folks we know are like, agnostics, Unitarians, and Quakers... the Catholics I know do have one. But it wasn't part of my growing up traditions as a Baptist either. I asked dh if it mattered to him (he was raised Catholic) and he was like, pshaw no. So no godparents.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My oldest ds had godparents (both died prematurely young at age 35 and 49  😞  ).  My other kids don't.  Both godparents just spent a little extra time with him and gave him extra gifts for holidays.

DH is godfather to two family members but this only means extra gifts. 

Only reason for godparents in all cases were for religious requirements.  

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Kassia said:

My oldest ds had godparents (both died prematurely young at age 35 and 49  😞  ).  My other kids don't.  Both godparents just spent a little extra time with him and gave him extra gifts for holidays.

DH is godfather to two family members but this only means extra gifts. 

Only reason for godparents in all cases were for religious requirements.  

 


I am sorry about your DS's godparents.

We're in this weird situation, where we were DS2's godparents, before we became his parents.  I mean, technically we still are, but we have a different role now.  So, I'm trying to decide if we want to ask someone to be a substitute (like an honorary god parent). Because my other kids have aunts and uncles who are their godparents, and do little extra things with them, we thought he might enjoy that too. We have one Catholic uncle/aunt pair who we haven't used yet, and they are close to DS2, so we were thinking of asking them.  
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes. She’s spent lots of time with my kids as they’ve grown (she’s my BFF) and she remembers them with gifts on their birthdays and holidays. She’s also our designated caregiver if DH and I die.

Edited by Sneezyone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My kids have never had Godparents.  And it's not really been a hole in their lives or anything like that.  We aren't Godparents for any of our nieces/nephews either though I think some of them may have assigned Godparents.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Sneezyone said:

Yes. She’s spent lots of time with my kids as they’ve grown (she’s my BFF) and siesta remembers them with gifts on their birthdays and holidays. She’s also our designated caregiver if DH and I die.


Is she the same godmother for all of your kids?

My two bio kids (the kids from whom I chose the godparents) have different godparents, but I'd want them together if DH and I died.  They each have an aunt/uncle couple who would be a fine caregiver, so our will lists one as the first choice, and the other as a second.  

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, CuriousMomof3 said:


I am sorry about your DS's godparents.

We're in this weird situation, where we were DS2's godparents, before we became his parents.  I mean, technically we still are, but we have a different role now.  So, I'm trying to decide if we want to ask someone to be a substitute (like an honorary god parent). Because my other kids have aunts and uncles who are their godparents, and do little extra things with them, we thought he might enjoy that too. We have one Catholic uncle/aunt pair who we haven't used yet, and they are close to DS2, so we were thinking of asking them.  
 


Is DS close to any other adults? It might be nice (if he’s old enough) for him to help choose someone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, CuriousMomof3 said:


Is she the same godmother for all of your kids?

My two bio kids (the kids from whom I chose the godparents) have different godparents, but I'd want them together if DH and I died.  They each have an aunt/uncle couple who would be a fine caregiver, so our will lists one as the first choice, and the other as a second.  

 


Yes. I have one person for both kids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:


Is DS close to any other adults? It might be nice (if he’s old enough) for him to help choose someone.


My DH's family is very close, and very Catholic.  He has two sisters and a brother.  The two sisters and their husbands are the godparents to each of our other kids.  And all our nieces  (we have the only boys) have aunts and uncles for their godparents.  So we were thinking of asking the brother and his fiance.  DS2 and my BIL adore each other, so I think it would be nice.  

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes but I don't know why. We only did it because it was tradition, the same reason we had him baptized. They don't do anything for him nor do we expect them to. I'm godmother to my niece (my only sibling's only child) and we have a close relationship but not because I'm her godmother. We'd be close anyway. Our grandchildren don't have godparents and aren't baptized.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have godparents for our children and we are godparents to our friend's children. We are not religious so don't give religious guidance but what we do is take a special interest in our godchildren and in that role act as a sounding board for their parents. For your DS2 I think having another adult who takes a special interest in and develops a close relationship with can only be of benefit for him.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, my sister is my daughters' Godmother.  She mostly does the aunt things that a non-Godmother aunt would do, but if anything ever happened to me, she would step in to make sure their spiritual education was looked after.

I'm not anybody's Godmother, so I can't comment from that perspective.

When I was a kid, 3 siblings and I were all baptized together and we had the same Godparents - a couple from church who had done Bible studies etc with my folks when they were being "born again."  Initially we had some visits etc., and we would always say hi and maybe have a chat at church, but before long, it fizzled for whatever reason.  My thought is that they figured our parents had it handled based on what they saw.  Or maybe our family was just really annoying or boring.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My kids' godparents never did much. But in your situation...I have a friend who has 3 girls (adults now). They had people step in for "honorary" godparenting because the actual godparents were inactive and moved away. I think it is a lovely idea. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, CuriousMomof3 said:


I am sorry about your DS's godparents.

We're in this weird situation, where we were DS2's godparents, before we became his parents.  I mean, technically we still are, but we have a different role now.  So, I'm trying to decide if we want to ask someone to be a substitute (like an honorary god parent). Because my other kids have aunts and uncles who are their godparents, and do little extra things with them, we thought he might enjoy that too. We have one Catholic uncle/aunt pair who we haven't used yet, and they are close to DS2, so we were thinking of asking them.  
 

I think this is a wonderful idea because the role of godparent is so important if people choose it to be. We have done something similar in finding a stand in godparent. My oldest son's godfather made some very poor choices in regard to his own family(affair and abandoning his child.) It got to the point where she couldn't remain in a friendship with the man, who was his best friend. We felt that day needed someone who could fill that role for him who wasn't making such poor personal choices but didn't know how to handle it. Well my brother, who is godfather to two of my other children is sort of the stand in godfather. Ds knows that he is a great source for spiritual guidance if his parents aren't the right people to go to for a situation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We’re atheists, so no!
My sisters and I had godparents, all of whom were aunts and uncles.  Those aunts and uncles did all the same aunt and uncle things for each of us, regardless of godparent status.  Maybe we got an extra special Christening gift?  I don’t know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, Ordinary Shoes said:

ETA that for us, this just a religious requirement. We never expected it to be an important relationship. 

My five boys each have two godparents, and I'm so sad that none of them have the close relationship that I have with my godparents. I guess I got very lucky. 

I became a godmother for the first time last Sunday! My brother and his wife had their first child, a daughter. I am hoping to be the best Aunt/godmother that little girl can have! 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My kids do not have godparents and were not baptized. 

Dh was raised Catholic and is godfather to a nephew. The nephew was born when dh was still a teenager. Dh then left the Catholic Church as soon as he became an adult, so he hasn't provided any spiritual guidance or anything like that - he's just been an uncle, basically. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nope. Never felt the need for religious traditions. We did specify that my husband’s ex-wife and her husband raise our kids should anything happen to the both of us, though. That seems a bit above the pay-grade of godparents, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ours do because we followed some Catholic traditions. Mostly on a cultural basis, and the aunts/uncles in question are the same level of closeness to each of them anyway, so it didn't have the true religious connotation or the 'special things' bit either. 

17 hours ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

We're in this weird situation, where we were DS2's godparents, before we became his parents.  I mean, technically we still are, but we have a different role now.  So, I'm trying to decide if we want to ask someone to be a substitute (like an honorary god parent). Because my other kids have aunts and uncles who are their godparents, and do little extra things with them, we thought he might enjoy that too. We have one Catholic uncle/aunt pair who we haven't used yet, and they are close to DS2, so we were thinking of asking them.  
 

Oh, yeah, do it for sure. You really can't be his Catholic godparents anymore because you can hardly see to his religious education if you die. 

2 hours ago, Dotwithaperiod said:

Nope. Never felt the need for religious traditions. 

I know that 'god' is right there in the name, lol, but lots of nonreligious people do pick godparents in a completely secular way. It's just meant to signify their special place in the child's life and have someone who will always be there for the child. And some do have the tradition the OP spoke of, where each will do special things with their designated godchild. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, katilac said:

Ours do because we followed some Catholic traditions. Mostly on a cultural basis, and the aunts/uncles in question are the same level of closeness to each of them anyway, so it didn't have the true religious connotation or the 'special things' bit either. 


I wouldn't say that I'm closer to my godchildren than their non-godchild siblings.  All of my kids are closer to my older SIL and her husband (the godparents of my oldest) than my younger SIL and her husband (the godparents of my youngest) just because they live closer so we see them more often.

The "special things" we do are little things.  Like if we were altogether for the birthday of one of the kids, that kid's godparent might be the one to say grace.  Or sometimes, if everyone is visiting at Christmas, I might ask my goddaughter to sit next to me and take a few minutes to ask them how their religious ed class is going, and do they like it.  

But most of the things we do are the same.  

Quote

Oh, yeah, do it for sure. You really can't be his Catholic godparents anymore because you can hardly see to his religious education if you die. 


I feel like that piece of the responsibility really falls on whoever the kids live with.  In our case, that was a godparent, but I'd want my kids together, which would mean that 2/3 wouldn't go live with a godparent if we die.  

Under Catholic law, it seems like the only way to officially change the godparent is at confirmation, so this would be a pseudo god-parent.  

Quote

I know that 'god' is right there in the name, lol, but lots of nonreligious people do pick godparents in a completely secular way. It's just meant to signify their special place in the child's life and have someone who will always be there for the child. And some do have the tradition the OP spoke of, where each will do special things with their designated godchild. 


I grew up with that kind of godparent.  I was close to my godparents, but other than standing up when I was baptized, it was a totally secular relationship.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, katilac said:

I know that 'god' is right there in the name, lol, but lots of nonreligious people do pick godparents in a completely secular way. It's just meant to signify their special place in the child's life and have someone who will always be there for the child. And some do have the tradition the OP spoke of, where each will do special things with their designated godchild. 

 

THIS. We have a very inclusive view of 'God'. Our children's Godmother is a practicing Buddhist and her grandmother was a Taiwanese monk with no name. We want our kids to be grounded in faith but it doesn't necessarily need to be ours. We just want them to humble themselves and appreciate things greater and more mysterious than they can comprehend. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...