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Navigating work/personal life boundaries


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We did see the movie. But since it’s that theater where we can’t get comfortable in the same row, we didn’t even sit together. The kids chose to sit with Dh and I sat alone on another row. I was going to share a drink with someone but didn’t buy one for myself so drank part of the free refill on the way out. The tickets were $6 each. I don’t know what was spent on concessions. 

Dh says he’ll help clean for the sitter but I’m not holding my breath. He spent $200 on Ds months ago for a “huge sale” on Magic the gathering... intended as Christmas gifts. It went on the cc. His mom loaned us $150 toward the bed/frame. She didn’t know what to buy my nephew so Dh suggested one of the Magic sets and now we only owe her $50 because he’s giving her a $100 set. She said to pay the $50 in Jan. just in case. I’m glad he decided to do that. Ds will be fine with what he’s getting. 

I don’t know why I’m so awful with laundry. We own too much? I have a pile of donations/consignment bagged up. Ok so here’s what my living room looked like last night. Dd brought hangers in the room and put blankets on the side of the table saying it was for her fort. I had already folded one up for donation. She’s constantly bringing out toys or making messes making me feel defeated easily. We did 2 puzzles together yesterday. The table now has wrapped Christmas presents and I need to put out my table top Christmas tree. 

So yes, in a sense the sitter won’t see a nightmare but it gives me great stress. I need to put away the nebulizer on the end table, pick up whatever crap is on the floor, clear off the dining room table, have Dh drag the recliner to the carport, etc. Fold more clothes or at least move laundry baskets. But what about bedtime? The kids’ room is a mess, too. I might move things from theirs to mine. Ugh. 

When I get to the city I have a long list of errands... Goodwill won’t take donations after 5:00 so that’s out tonight. I was originally going to do errands with the kids before or after the movie on Tuesday. Dh wouldn’t have that if he was with us so I said then you know I have to make a separate trip/gas this week. He agreed. He also wouldn’t have just met us at the theater. So annoying. 

I have a ton of pick up orders... many businesses are grouped closely together. I compromised on the wedding gift and got a wedding frame. So it’s not nothing but it was very affordable. I am going to return my Romaine lettuce kit for store credit at Sam’s (Taylor Farms’ recording said just follow CDC advice). Then I’ll see if I can just buy another dessert for the event this Sat. I was going to bake but now worried about mold spores all up in my kitchen. The water heater closet is in the kitchen. I am cooking for the family still but I just feel extra funny about the potluck. I ordered a mold mask for Dh and cleaning solution and a chemical safe spray bottle since he said he was going to work on it. The mask is medium so I don’t know if it will fit me, too. I get $3 back shopping online and choosing store pick up for some sites right now through my Swagbucks. I did it for Home Depot, etc. 

I might see if there’s a free site for blogging and blog my clean up journey. I need accountability. I need deadlines. 

Yeah, he definitely overlaps many narcissist articles. I don’t know about the no empathy thing, though. That’s part of why he gives... “oh so and so was having a hard time. I felt compelled.” He ended up not officially ordering that Boy Scout popcorn. They never came back to take money/order apparently. We did end up with 2 containers of the cookie dough and Dh immediately regretted it. They were smaller than he expected. It did not state ounces. On the plus side I used some for the UPS guy’s retirement. 

I think Dh and his mom are crazymakers lol He will say money is tight. I will go through a drive thru because the kids and I were starving (recently dd don’t even eat a pb & j. Sometimes I pack food) and he will complain I didn’t buy him something. It is crazy to me. Ok first of all, we usually are getting food mid trip, not on the way home. Secondly, he might not be home and we go home and unload the car. If I do cook he will say how all he ate at work was from the vending machine and I’ll say you are perfectly capable of packing food from the fridge. He’ll say he’s not blaming me but yet he will complain about how he didn’t “eat all day.” Sometimes I ignore it. Sometimes I say sorry you were so busy. Sometimes I’m proactive and bring him food or hand him a packed lunch bag. His mom packs a lunch for his dad every day. I also learned where he gets the, “don’t raise your voice” from. His parents said it to me over thanksgiving when I got worked up and was responding. They will cut you off to tell you not to raise your voice. It infuriates me to have my tone critiqued when I’m trying to get thoughts out. So I guess that’s why he shuts down... it was not allowed in his home?? I say funny they have issue with tone but not cussing I guess because I hear mil cuss sometimes in her home. 

Dh got As in both his classes. He just finished. His break starts after work tomorrow but most students are gone.  

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Edited by heartlikealion
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