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heartlikealion

Navigating work/personal life boundaries

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Last night no one had touched the sink and the pile was bigger. At that point all I could do was try to find the humor in it and ds and I laughed when I said, “but it’s worse! lol” Dh said the kids worked on the pathway by the door that was cluttered. At least they tried to do something. 

I know when I get mad I’m only hurting myself. So I’m trying to spare myself. Just handle things, move forward and try to get the kids in better habits. That’s all I can do. 

The kids were wide awake when I got home. 9:30 pm. No one had brushed their teeth. Dh wasn’t ushering them to bed. He was gaming in the office and they were watching screens in the living room. I ate the remainder of dd’s pancake for my dinner and cleaned the dishes. I had ds make sure Dh brushed dd’s teeth while I was doing that. I get to play bad cop. So I got everyone to bed, unclogged the sink (grapes were clogging it) and started some laundry. This morning I finished loading the dishwasher and ran it before I left the house. I went to my eye exam and now I have to wear these darn shades lol my vision isn’t blurry like it was an hr ago. I renewed the car tag and the price was lower than stated!! I was so excited. We were expecting over $100 and it was about $40. I put the new tag on the car. Dh said he was supposed to go out this morning but I had no idea. So he tried to make me feel bad for being “late.” I was like look, all I did was get an eye exam and walk to the car tag office (they are beside each other). He at least admitted he didn’t bring it up yesterday to remind me. I told him (again) please put it in writing. He wasn’t even dressed and canceled his meeting with the person. 

ok so now I’m on the fence about the fair and other dr office. Depends on my eyes. 

Dh’s car tag isn’t due this month. It was just mine. I got confused. 

Yes, I think I personally may have some EF issues or at least the whole time management thing which overlaps. Kids have told me before you know you spent X minutes in the store and I had no idea. That’s why I hate going out if someone is waiting on me. I enjoy taking my time if I can get points (Shopkick etc) or exercise (steps) lol I try to be faster if others are with me. I shopped alone after class last night. 

I have gotten my teeth cleaned recently and eyes checked this month. That makes me feel like I’m getting things knocked out if I have to go work. 

If I do eventually buy myself a Mac I’ll try to do it from Best Buy. I used to work there and one location sells them. They offer the interest free financing on certain purchases. But not anytime soon... just thinking ahead. And the card would just be in my name. 

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We did not go to the fair and dd still needs those guides painted on but we’ll have to try next Wed. I did line up her binasal occlusion stickers based on her old lenses (the office gave them back to me) so she was able to wear those a few hours as instructed. Without the paint it’s hard to angle them right. But also, I think the paint helps prevent her eye turn when she’s not wearing the stickers. So we’ll just use the old lenses as our guide til I can get her there. That office is only open on Wednesday’s. 

The kids were totally fine with staying home today. Dh printed a buttload of stuff for me today (late in the day but! I got it and I didn’t have to upgrade my instantink plan again to do so). I had the kids help me punch holes in all our pages with the industrial-strength hole puncher at the library. We went on a walk and ds said he felt like today was a fail and I spoke the words of the hive (lol). I said, “no, it’s not! We are going on a walk (PE), you learned how to do laundry (home ec), and [whatever else he did which was some math & reading iirc].” The weather is cooling down so walks are much more bearable now! We plan on walking today. 

I know they are having a free fall festival this Saturday with pony rides. Dh and ds are going to their monthly gaming event so I think I’ll take dd to ride a pony. She will LOVE that. I gave ds an option and he chose the gaming which is totally fine. Maybe we can work on regular skating this year and try to ice skate next time the fair is in town! 

Ds learned how to use the washing machine today. We washed a blanket and sheet together on COLD LOL. I was like you know what, some people choose different settings and this blanket tag actually says cold so let’s just go with that. 

Ds wants to cook more but I can tell is only excited about certain things so I suggested he pick out a recipe and we may have to pick out ingredients next time we go to the store. 

Dh made so many pancakes I might freeze some. 

I brought Dh dinner to work and he bought me a drink from the vending machine since I was not feeling well and thought I’d need to go to the store for one. I drink Gatorade when I feel icky. It helps (headaches). 

I felt like I was in a functional family for the most part today. Ds entire the dishwasher and I reloaded it. I explained the towels to him stating that it’s not really that big of a deal but I usually use the “I’m not a paper towel” towel as the hand towel. 

Kids took forever to settle down tonight so I’ll push back bedtime again tomorrow. 

As for the coffee service, yes, sometimes he does imply it’s job security to have it and I guess he’s willing to “take one for the team.” He implemented the coffee/food area to help foot traffic. Some people only started coming in for that. That includes faculty! 

I found several receipts (some I’m sure are lost forever.. although you can get Sam’s to reprint if you know the date) but he said the service didn’t have the funds to pay us back or something? It’s a non profit thing where they break even. I don’t really get how he does things but he’s mostly delegated it to another librarian this year. She’s doing a poor job so he recently bought stuff again and I don’t know whose funds. I’m trying to just let it go. 

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If the library has decided to offer free coffee to the public, then the library needs to budget for it.  Expecting it to come from employee’s pockets isn’t reasonable.  It’s pretty normal in non-profits or academic settings for the staff coffee to be something the coffee drinkers pool in for it and I wouldn’t worry about that but from the update it sounds like he’s supplying coffee as a library function.  No one in non-profit or academic settings makes enough money to be carrying that cost.  

Edited by LucyStoner
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21 minutes ago, LucyStoner said:

If the library has decided to offer free coffee, then the library needs to budget for it.  

It’s not free. They charge per cup. Refills I think are a small fee. I think the whole thing is a mess. I know he used to go through this one vendor that would only sell coffee sleeves in bulk and so he would be paying for them oop and then paying himself back when they had the funds?? Something wacky like that. I’ve been against anything that takes money from our personal funds from the start. He insisted it was a good thing. They did cancel the hot food service though. For a while they had hot food available and I believe the warming plates were bought with our personal funds along with several other items in the library storage area. So, if I ever need it, that’s my giant tea pitcher and my warming plates 🙄

Edited by heartlikealion
Typo

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I have a stack of receipts (of the ones I found so assume more exist) that o collected for him which he later refused to turn in for reimbursement. They total $196. Some of those charges were on the cc. The only good thing was since it was on our personal Sam’s Club acct the purchases helped our Sam’s club cash back allowance that went toward renewing our membership the next year. 

I checked my credit score on Credit Karma. It’s in the low 700s. So that’s good. 

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3 hours ago, LucyStoner said:

If the library has decided to offer free coffee to the public, then the library needs to budget for it.  Expecting it to come from employee’s pockets isn’t reasonable.  It’s pretty normal in non-profits or academic settings for the staff coffee to be something the coffee drinkers pool in for it and I wouldn’t worry about that but from the update it sounds like he’s supplying coffee as a library function.  No one in non-profit or academic settings makes enough money to be carrying that cost.  

Yes it’s a coffee service and his idea and his choosing for employees to foot bills they may or may not be reimbursed for. I just asked him if he was leaving town today because we need water. He said he’s taking a work vehicle so he can’t stop and buy water but he has some at work he can give me. I said huh? That’s water we bought from our personal money? He said yes because the other librarian made an expensive error and they had no funds for water but homecoming is approaching and people will expect water. Part of me thinks, “oh well!! Let them buy drinks from the vending machine” but I’m sure it’s expected. They always provide drinks & snacks. 

So to sum up, we bought 2 cases of water with our own money but he’s going to ration it out to me?! Good grief. That’s my d@mn water lol 

he said he has an envelope at work with more Sam’s club receipts. I said why won’t you pursue getting our money back? He said, “because there is no money in the fund.” He says one day he will ask for it. I said, “do you think they’ll honor it so long after the fact??” 

To me it’s a sunk cost. I will probably never see that money again.

Edited by heartlikealion
sunk not sink lol
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Please clarify:

Do people normally have to pay to print things at the library?

Are you asking your dh to print homeschooling materials for you while at work at library?

If there’s a page cost for people to print there usually, is he paying it?

Sounds like maybe another work / personal boundary violation, this time with $ in your favor 

———

———

Do you live in a place with unsafe tap water? 

Is the college’s water unsafe? 

Im wondering about why water purchase is needed. 

————

————

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

Yes it’s a coffee service and his idea and his choosing for employees to foot bills they may or may not be reimbursed for.

 

He chose for just himself to foot bills that might not be reimbursed?

or he is requiring that of employees he is the boss over? 

 

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13 minutes ago, Pen said:

Please clarify:

Do people normally have to pay to print things at the library?

Are you asking your dh to print homeschooling materials for you while at work at library?

If there’s a page cost for people to print there usually, is he paying it?

Sounds like maybe another work / personal boundary violation, this time with $ in your favor 

———

———

Do you live in a place with unsafe tap water? 

Is the college’s water unsafe? 

Im wondering about why water purchase is needed. 

————

————

 

He chose for just himself to foot bills that might not be reimbursed?

or he is requiring that of employees he is the boss over? 

 

Students & community members can use the printers for free. There are specific hours for community members to visit the library. He can hit print before, during, or after his shift. That’s his call. I’ve asked him before about the printing rules. He said it’s fine. But I don’t print all my stuff there. 

He chose to do it that way (footing the bill) and now he asks a librarian to stock the coffee service and she turns in the forms for reimbursement so if she doesn’t turn in the form she is paying oop. I think it’s a terrible dynamic. She doesn’t have a Sam’s membership either so she often buys from a smaller grocery in small quantities and doesn’t keep up with demand. Then people will say is there any creamer? (Or whatever). He does not want to just let the service die. It helps foot traffic. He says there aren’t always funds so I’m not sure how quickly she gets money back. 

We have crappy water. Our water is different from the campus water (some houses closer to the campus are on campus water & don’t get a water bill. We do get a bill). I consider it unsafe. 

Edited by heartlikealion

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9 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Students & community members can use the printers for free. There are specific hours for community members to visit the library. He can hit print before, during, or after his shift. That’s his call. I’ve asked him before about the printing rules. He said it’s fine. But I don’t print all my stuff there. 

 

Good to hear.

9 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

He chose to do it that way (footing the bill) and now he asks a librarian to stock the coffee service and she turns in the forms for reimbursement so if she doesn’t turn in the form she is paying oop. I think it’s a terrible dynamic. She doesn’t have a Sam’s membership either so she often buys from a smaller grocery in small quantities and doesn’t keep up with demand. Then people will say is there any creamer? (Or whatever).

 

It does sound like a dynamic that might have another person/family in distress too. 

 

9 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

He does not want to just let the service die. It helps foot traffic.

 

Foot traffic is important why?

Fear of job loss? 

 

 

9 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

He says there aren’t always funds so I’m not sure how quickly she gets money back. 

We have crappy water. Our water is different from the campus water (some houses closer to the campus are on campus water & don’t get a water bill. We do get a bill). I consider it unsafe. 

 

Maybe looking into saving up for an excellent portable home filter would be worth while.  

Being the water providers for the college seems like a thing that should not be happening—

unless your dh has determined that if he doesn’t spend $x for such things he’ll be out of job entirely 

 

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If the library coffee is something people getting it pay something for, I wonder if there’s room for that to be a little mini business for someone (you and Ds as part of homeschooling learning?) to figure out how to run it so it would at least not lose money, and maybe bring a profit.  Seems like getting supplies wholesale rather than retail would be a start.

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I think each location has to keep tabs on foot traffic (IDs are scanned). This is important probably for more than one reason. I don’t know all the specifics. I doubt they have actual figures on the faculty (maybe just check out totals?) but when people use/visit the library it’s a good thing. We had counters on our doors in a store I worked in. It helped validate store hours and such. 

I don’t know how often he foots the bill fr the food/drinks. I don’t think that was the original plan but someone else screwed up the budget. 

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2 minutes ago, Pen said:

If the library coffee is something people getting it pay something for, I wonder if there’s room for that to be a little mini business for someone (you and Ds as part of homeschooling learning?) to figure out how to run it so it would at least not lose money, and maybe bring a profit.  Seems like getting supplies wholesale rather than retail would be a start.

Dh said it’s not allowed to make a profit. 

As for water, I wouldn’t drink it just because of a filter. It comes out brown sometimes. 

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27 minutes ago, Pen said:

unless your dh has determined that if he doesn’t spend $x for such things he’ll be out of job entirely 

He values it but I think he knows it’s not going to cost him his job. It didn’t exist before he implemented it. 

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59 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Dh said it’s not allowed to make a profit. 

As for water, I wouldn’t drink it just because of a filter. It comes out brown sometimes. 

I use a water distiller, gets everything out. They are available under $200 on Amazon, if you are buying all your water in bottles it would probably pay for itself quickly.

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Not making a profit doesn't mean you can't charge a bit more than retail price for individual items so that you have a bit of a cushion on hand and to account for people who take the food without paying. If there are frequently no funds to reimburse people who purchase the food the whole thing is being mismanaged.

BUT

That is your husband's problem, probably not something you can do much about. If your family funds being expended are minor I'd let it go; many people do put money of their own into a job, including K-12 teachers many of whom buy supplies for their classrooms out of pocket.

Edited by maize
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8 minutes ago, HeighHo said:

 

Do you know the details on this?   What is the brown from?  Manganese? Iron ? Sand?  Work on other areas in the system, which means you need to flush your system before using it again?   Do your neighbors also see brown when you see brown?   Have you had the water tested when its brown and when its not?

 

 

1 minute ago, maize said:

I use a water distiller, gets everything out. They are available under $200 on Amazon, if you are buying all your water in bottles it would probably pay for itself quickly.

 

I don’t know what all is in the water and what filters actually remove. I’ve never felt confident in the water. We have had a couple boil water alerts before, too. 

Maize, could you link me so I can look at the product? 

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Just now, maize said:

Not make a profit doesn't mean you can't charge a bit more than retail price for individual items so that you have a bit of a cusion on hand and to account for people who take the food without paying. If there are frequently no funds to reimburse people who purchase the food the who thing is being mismanaged.

BUT

That is your husband's problem, probably not something you can do much about. If your family funds being expended are minor I'd let it go; many people do put money of their own into a job, including K-12 teachers many of whom buy supplies for their classrooms out of pocket.

The water this time was like $10, but the stack of receipts I have is $196 plus whatever stack he has. Purchase totals varied. He’d buy stuff like creamer and muffins. 

Yes, I think they may have charged just a bit over but it’s still a mess imo. 

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Just now, HeighHo said:

 

Are you on your own private well, or are you in municipal system?

Do your neighbors have brown water when you do?

It’s not a well. 

I think they do. It’s random; I’ve never called the neighbors to ask, “did you have brown water a few minutes ago?” Yesterday ds turned on the water and said, “never mind, I’ll shower later.” I said, “just let it run til it runs clear. I think it’s ok.” 

Its one of those things where if I keep asking I probably will be told oh it’s normal. I have a friend in larger city that kept asking questions about theirs and was dissatisfied with the answers. I think hers has high amounts of chlorine and stuff. 

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I use a distiller because I do not want flouride in my drinking water; flouride is too small a molecule to be removed by filters.

 

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51 minutes ago, HeighHo said:

 

It is normal to have to flush the house lines if the water people have been working on the system elsewhere.  Usually they tell you in advance that they will be working on the system and to expect to have to do the flush. You may have to sign up to get that notice. Our notice is mailed to us if its non-emergency planned work. If its an unplanned break they are fixing, we are on our own, and usually the neighbors on the line that was repaired will let each other know. If not, when we see brown, we flush.  This is all normal for people who are on a city water system.

If your neighbor is on the same system and doesn't have brown water the day you do, the problem is in the lines leading to your home.  If you both have brown water, its the system.  

I don't know who you are asking, but the plumbers as well as the Water Dept town supervisor know exactly what's happening with the water.  The water supplier actually appreciates the photos we give them from our filters, as it helps them show the State that they need matching grants and funding for additional wells.  We tend to have high manganese when the wells are running low, and that precipitates as black flakes in the home water lines even with the appropriate filter.  We can put a filter in and its black in a day if the wells are running dry; if not its black in a month.  In both cases we will have sand and gravel caught in the filter too.  Since we can't change the main line filter daily ($$$) or put in a filter for each bathroom plus the kitchen, we do have to buy water in that season when the wells are running low. 

If you want to know what your water quality is, read the annual report from the Water supplier.  Ours is mailed to our billing address, but we can also go get one from the Water Dept office.  Or get your water tested.

Growing up I never remember this happening! I lived in bigger towns/cities. It’s random, doesn’t seem planned, and last time I barely found out about the water boil notice but saw something on Facebook or called the water dept and asked. I have never received formal notices and don’t think it’s usually planned maintenance. I will ask the woman at the office next time to see but I’m pretty sure last time I asked I was told there wasn’t an official notice everyone gets. 

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Dh mentioned to my neighbor aka the man I embarrassed myself in front of at the college graphic design interview years ago, that I applied for this position. He told Dh that he voted for me back then (several people had to make that hiring decision). Aww that made my day. Apparently he does some business with this publication. 

I emailed my old publisher and gave him a heads up that his boss may ask about me because I applied for this job. 

Ds is being so difficult with getting up on time. I won’t spank him over it but yes, he’s an absolute pain about it. I’ve been trying to wake him up for hours. I sent the kids to bed around 8:30 but he dod t fall asleep til sometime after Dh got home. This type of crap makes me think yeah maybe he needs external pressure to get up (ie school). I’ll send him to bed early tonight. 

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When I lived in parts of the world where there was no pottable tap water (and the water that came out of the taps was always brown or yellow) we used a distiller for drinking and for cooking water.

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34 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Dh mentioned to my neighbor aka the man I embarrassed myself in front of at the college graphic design interview years ago, that I applied for this position. He told Dh that he voted for me back then (several people had to make that hiring decision). Aww that made my day. Apparently he does some business with this publication. 

I emailed my old publisher and gave him a heads up that his boss may ask about me because I applied for this job. 

Ds is being so difficult with getting up on time. I won’t spank him over it but yes, he’s an absolute pain about it. I’ve been trying to wake him up for hours. I sent the kids to bed around 8:30 but he dod t fall asleep til sometime after Dh got home. This type of crap makes me think yeah maybe he needs external pressure to get up (ie school). I’ll send him to bed early tonight. 

Do you think a consequence would work if going to bed earlier doesn't?  Like if he doesn't get up when asked tomorrow morning he gets no screen time tomorrow at all?

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I’ve never found a website for anything local lol 

the school worked on our line recently (not sure if it’s part of main line or not) and never replaced the pipe they cracked. 

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1 minute ago, Scarlett said:

Do you think a consequence would work if going to bed earlier doesn't?  Like if he doesn't get up when asked tomorrow morning he gets no screen time tomorrow at all?

I don’t know. Consequences like that have never been super effective with this child. I just told him no screens for now. He asked why and I said because he wouldn’t get up and start school. 

I’ve been up since like 5 am. I was having trouble sleeping earlier. 

Hope this helps motivate him tomorrow. 

 

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27 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I don’t know. Consequences like that have never been super effective with this child. I just told him no screens for now. He asked why and I said because he wouldn’t get up and start school. 

I’ve been up since like 5 am. I was having trouble sleeping earlier. 

Hope this helps motivate him tomorrow. 

 

My kids usually respond better to positive incentives than to negative consequences; is there some kind of reward he could earn by being up on time?

Is he in front of a screen of any kind before bed? Does he have any access to screens in his room? If he is having trouble falling asleep at night he will have trouble getting up in the morning; blue light--from regular lights and from screens--prevents our bodies from making melotonin, which we need to fall asleep and stay asleep. I try to limit light in the evening, use blue-light blocking filters on any screens, and even use orange or red colored bulbs wherever possible. 

By contrast, bright light helps us wake up in the morning. Going in and opening his curtains before he needs to be awake could help.

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34 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I don’t know. Consequences like that have never been super effective with this child. I just told him no screens for now. He asked why and I said because he wouldn’t get up and start school. 

I’ve been up since like 5 am. I was having trouble sleeping earlier. 

Hope this helps motivate him tomorrow. 

 


How did you get him up on time when he was in school?

Why is it different now?

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2 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

I’ve never found a website for anything local lol 

the school worked on our line recently (not sure if it’s part of main line or not) and never replaced the pipe they cracked. 

 

I am still confused about this.  

Do you have just a earth hole that needs to be filled in or a cracked water pipe.

If you have an earth hole I’d just fill it in.

If you have a cracked pipe (whether that’s letting out sewage or supposed to be bringing in clean water) you need that taken care of right away. 

Potable water is a basic tenant right in many places. This could be worth its own legal research for your area. 

 

I realize it relates to work/personal life boundaries the thread is about, and I don’t think it has been clearly resolved. 

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In some places a water sample can be taken to a gov office and checked for some things like coliform bacteria or lead. For free or relatively low cost.  Real science for your Ds too. 

(I would put this above fair as priority — and it could be just as interesting.) 

Edited by Pen

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1 hour ago, HomeAgain said:


How did you get him up on time when he was in school?

Why is it different now?

He often didn’t budge then, either. He was told he had to get up because we had to drive him to school. He was super grouchy. I’ve tried pushing bedtimes back and making daily bedtime early but Dh allows them to stay up later on weekends despite my protests. He is cranky on Sun mornings too before church. When Dh isn’t around I turn off all lights and TVs. When he’s home he’s up, the tv runs all night even after he falls asleep. I think he’s dependent on it. This is why I put that book on sleep on the wish list for his library lol it has been ordered. 

Sometimes Dh motivated ds to get up with the promise of screens in the morning. Obviously I wasn’t too pleased with this but it sometimes did help him get moving! 

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5 minutes ago, Pen said:

In some places a water sample can be taken to a gov office and checked for some things like coliform bacteria or lead. For free or relatively low cost.  Real science for your Ds too. 

(I would put this above fair as priority — and it could be just as interesting.) 

We aren’t going to the fair. I don’t know who to give a sample to. 

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I don’t know the specifics with the hole. There’s another thread on it lol I don’t want to fill it up with dirt because the job is not done. I don’t want to make it appear done. 

Look up “Plumbing Woes” on the chat board 

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6 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

We aren’t going to the fair. I don’t know who to give a sample to. 

 

In our area it’s been at a county building located in the county seat city, where they handle various things—deeds and records, food handler licenses etc...  water quality being one of the things

I have usually paid $$ for a much more comprehensive private test (sent in by UPS) through a company called watercheck iirc. 

https://watercheck.com/

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Pen said:

 

In our area it’s been at a county building located in the county seat city, where they handle various things—deeds and records, food handler licenses etc...  water quality being one of the things

I have usually paid $$ for a much more comprehensive private test (sent in by UPS) through a company called watercheck iirc. 

https://watercheck.com/

 

 

So many choices! Lite, basic, add ons. I didn’t understand the add ons. If you don’t pick that, they won’t test for it? 

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Call your county’s water department and ask them.  They will either have you bring a sample to them or refer you to the appropriate place.  And they have to have the yearly water quality report for you to view. If not, call your state and ask. 

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7 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

So many choices! Lite, basic, add ons. I didn’t understand the add ons. If you don’t pick that, they won’t test for it? 

 

We are on well.  My choices would probably be different than yours.  I think I got deluxe for Wells.  I wanted to know if herbicides were getting in our water because we are in a logging/agriculture area.  We have brown in our water which is iron.

I’d want to know about heavy metals like lead, arsenic...   and about bacteria type contamination...

I use a Berkey filter which removes the iron and leaves some possibly beneficial things like calcium.  

I think distiller like Maize suggested might be a good idea and less expensive than extensive testing.    I have heard that if using distilled water one needs to be sure to make up possible eliminated good minerals.  

Not having a lot of plastic from bottled water may also be a health benefit. 

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51 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

 

 

Look up “Plumbing Woes” on the chat board 

 

I am incapable of understanding what the problem is from that thread.

 Neither the words nor pictures make anything clear for me.  It doesn’t show anything leaking from pipe as I’d expect if pipe were cracked or broken.   I see a bit of white in grass at 12:00 or so from hole that I think you referred to, but how that relates to whether pipe is broken or not, I don’t know. 

You aren’t required to explain it to us, obviously.

I am certainly not a plumber, But I hope that maintenance people for your housing aren’t as utterly lost and confused as I am. 

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1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

He often didn’t budge then, either. He was told he had to get up because we had to drive him to school. He was super grouchy. I’ve tried pushing bedtimes back and making daily bedtime early but Dh allows them to stay up later on weekends despite my protests. He is cranky on Sun mornings too before church. When Dh isn’t around I turn off all lights and TVs. When he’s home he’s up, the tv runs all night even after he falls asleep. I think he’s dependent on it. This is why I put that book on sleep on the wish list for his library lol it has been ordered. 

Sometimes Dh motivated ds to get up with the promise of screens in the morning. Obviously I wasn’t too pleased with this but it sometimes did help him get moving! 

Creating a noisy morning doesn't help?  If I was having that much trouble I'd be super cheery and wake him the first time, then the second time I came in I'd be even more cheery, turn on the light, keep the door open, and have special good morning music playing to make sleep impossible.

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45 minutes ago, Pen said:

 

We are on well.  My choices would probably be different than yours.  I think I got deluxe for Wells.  I wanted to know if herbicides were getting in our water because we are in a logging/agriculture area.  We have brown in our water which is iron.

I’d want to know about heavy metals like lead, arsenic...   and about bacteria type contamination...

I use a Berkey filter which removes the iron and leaves some possibly beneficial things like calcium.  

I think distiller like Maize suggested might be a good idea and less expensive than extensive testing.    I have heard that if using distilled water one needs to be sure to make up possible eliminated good minerals.  

Not having a lot of plastic from bottled water may also be a health benefit. 

We get minerals primarily from food not water, the mineral content of water is usually pretty negligible.

There are mineral drops you can add in if you want.

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I guess there’s debate about minerals in re distilled water

 

May 30, 2017 · The main risks of drinking only distilled water are associated with the lack of dissolved minerals, such as magnesium and calcium. Some of the adverse effects of drinking just distilled or low mineral water include: a flat taste that many people find unappealing, leading to reduced water consumption.
images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTTrOa5J83RTOZuwNrIMag
 
 
 
 

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My dh works for a water department. If your water comes from a public source (county or city water), they are required to supply clean, fresh, water to you. They likely sample all the time to ensure safety. This is a matter of public health. Now that doesn't mean that the water tastes great or smells great (in summer, often the water tastes off when it is perfectly safe due to higher levels of organics in the water supply) but it does mean that by and large it SHOULD be safe to drink. 

I suggest you call your water department and ask your questions. Not accusingly, just, hey, I am an interested consumer and I turned the tap on this morning and it was brown. Is my water safe? Why is it brown? Can I bring a sample by? 

If your house is fairly old, it may have old rusty pipes and if the water sits in them very long, it gets rusty looking. Also, hot water heaters can be a source of minerals in the water. 

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Dh and ds can sleep through everything. Dh slept through a fire alarm in his dorm before. I mean he eventually got up but everyone else had exited the building several minutes before he was aware. 

We had the tv on in the living room this morning and ds continued to sleep. I gently shook him, talked to him, raised my voice. He was hardly responsive. I think he just requires a lot of sleep like me (but I’m a light sleeper). So early bedtime tonight. Told him 7 pm. 

As for the water. It was brown a minute ago. I texted 2 neighbors. One said she never noticed and the other said she does see it sometimes (her house is beside mine) usually from the tub. That’s where I saw it. She tested hers but didn’t see anything. 

The maintenance guy said he accidentally chipped our pipe while working on it one night. I think the chipped part is where that loose piece of pipe is. He dug up around that pipe where the hole is so I assumed that’s the pipe he’s replacing. 

We don’t have a fridge that makes water or ice. We have whatever fridge came with the rental. Low tech. 

 

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