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heartlikealion

Navigating work/personal life boundaries

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1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

And you will qualify for a ton of student assistance - oh and if enrolled in a college program may have access to things like free /low cost mental health counseling on campus, and similar programs for the kids. 

I think the biggest thing to ask the lawyer about is moving. What situations can or can't you move to an area with more employment opportunity and better schools for the kids? Especially if you emphasize the better schools aspect you maybe able to get court permission - failing schools plus no job opportunities plus access to DD's medical experts, etc may get you that permission. And you need it. 

 

Definitely ask about moving and what you are allowed to do both before and after a divorce.  Could you legally go to a different state?  NC has that supposed to be excellent DV program I linked (and the shelter that is in a mansion!) and also there are some low cost universities there if you could establish residency.

15 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

More importantly, if it was a teaching job you might not need after school care at all. 

 

My aunt did that both before and after divorce, in a bad part of Oakland CA area.  Now she’s retired to Oregon and has excellent ongoing health insurance and retirement pension. Earlier it helped with being available for her son and having good insurance for health issues like Chrons Disease and complications he had.  

13 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

Does your college campus have a career counseling department? Can you use their services as a spouse of an employee?

Is the college that you graduated from within a reasonable driving distance, where you could make an appointment there for career counseling?

 

Or maybe by phone? 

13 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

The public library that I worked for had a career counseling center that was free for patrons to use. They gave advice, practiced mock interviews, helped with resumes, did career aptitude testing, and so on. The same kind of things one would find in a college career center, but it was at the public library. You might do some online research to see if there is a public library career center within a few hours of driving distance from you.

Career training is something you could also ask about at the shelter that you have contact with. They will be used to directing people to that kind of help and might have ideas that wouldn't occur to you.

 

Those all seem like good ideas.

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7 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I think they wanted me for the assistant position. She caught me in the parking lot asking me to email references. But the pay was peanuts! And we had one car and I had to be there so early it would have been hard to get dd to any daycare. 

The ESL job — I’m now friends with someone else that interviewed there. We agreed it was unclear what they wanted. And very disorganized. I had to bug them a couple times (waited, followed up, waited) til they mailed me a rejection letter. 

Oh I wasn't talking in regard to what you've mentioned. Just in general, that people actively pursuing jobs should all work on interviewing skills. It's definitely a skill- being a great interview can help a weak resume. But in general, from what I've seen on these boards, schools seem super flakey.  It seems like we've had many boardies have bad experiences with disorganized school hiring processes. 

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I don’t know of any mental health counseling on campus. I don’t know if it exists. 

My university is not conveniently located but it’s where ds will get his APD test. 

I wouldn’t move out of state without Dh. Kids have too much family here 

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If I absolutely have to I’ll have the sitter watch dd next week. So hard to get anything done (she pulled me off he computer) and when Dh comes home he wants the computer. 

I got some exercise in today at least. Then of course we had a misunderstanding and Dh was mad I wasn’t home sooner. He wanted to go into work early but wasn't even dressed when I got back from the fitness center. 

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5 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Cool. But maybe it’s just a free trial or certain classes? 

 

Each day there are 3 or 4 classes iirc available for free usually for 24 hours—like 8am-8am Pacific time (I don’t recall exactly right now). You can watch/listen in as often as you want and at your convenience during the 24 hours... but you go in wherever the loop is playing, not like YouTube where you can set it to start whenever you want.  

The upcoming schedule of free classes is also available and you can click a register button for ones you want.  

I think every class they offer has once been free.  sometimes they have older classes cycle back for free, but I think all new ones come on for free for 24 hours.  

 

I’ll post link and screen shots of parts to look for in a following post.

 

5 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

my intent is to maximize my lawyer time but I can’t even get them on the phone 

 

You will presumably get an appointment .  (  You can try additional places perhaps that might be able to also offer free or low cost help, so you aren’t dependent on just the one person calling.) 

 

  In the meantime be preparing for the time you’ll be given almost as if for an interview — but you’re trying to give them basic information and to get as answers to how they can help, what you can expect, and what you can/should/should n’t  do (like move with the kids and if so, how far) for current time as well as what might be expected after divorce. 

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https://www.creativelive.com/onair

 

apparently it’s now 5 free classes per day  and start is 9am Pacific time —

and if same as it was when I last used it, they cycle through till 9am the following morning when a new set of 5 comes on.  

 

 

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Edited by Pen
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I already looked into the other low cost/free options I was linked to by the school of law. They were dead ends because we make too much money. 

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1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

I already looked into the other low cost/free options I was linked to by the school of law. They were dead ends because we make too much money. 

 

Since you have a couple of options now— free and shark, I think it’s ok to wait on those.  To make contact with free and to be saving up for possible use of shark.  

(but if you are still having troubles, don’t stop looking for options.  Have you, for example, tried Lawyers Guild and Catholic Charities and asked each place you talk to if they have any other ideas?   Even ask each secretary if she has any knowledge or if they have pamphlets or anything that could help. ) 

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I don't know anything about legal aid, but I had no idea that a non-working spouse would have her husband's (who she trying to divorce) income count against her for legal aid! That would really disqualify a lot of people it would seem, who have a legitimate need and no access to funds. 

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I get that it may be too far or that you don’t want to go to it for whatever reason, but I was suspicious of the accuracy of your statement that University of Mississippi had closed its clinic so I called.

The phone number is 

clinicalprograms@olemiss.edu

Phone: (662) 915-7429

press 6 for Street Law clinic .  It still seems to be functioning.  

 

I don’t think you are deliberately lying, but I have a feeling that while you are hugely more proactive and much more actively going after things than you used to in the course of time on these forums, that you are still seeking out to see the shut doors and focus on the impossible and closed and the “I don’t want to do that” type routes.  

I don’t mean just with the clinic.

But for two things this morning where I can do a reality check, the Clinic and Creative Live, you seem to find the “can’t” “closed” “too expensive” part.  I can find the “still open” and “still free” part

 

 

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I wonder if something like yoga and meditation that you could do even perhaps with Ds as homeschooling PE could help you open up to seek and see more of what is possible?

are you tending toward shut down shallow breathing and hunched closed in posture?   Fixing those can help. 

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29 minutes ago, Pen said:

 

Since you have a couple of options now— free and shark, I think it’s ok to wait on those.  To make contact with free and to be saving up for possible use of shark.  

(but if you are still having troubles, don’t stop looking for options.  Have you, for example, tried Lawyers Guild and Catholic Charities and asked each place you talk to if they have any other ideas?   Even ask each secretary if she has any knowledge or if they have pamphlets or anything that could help. ) 

Catholic Charities said they don’t have any attorney right now and sent me to the DV Coalition. 

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I just wanted a specific class that required money. Free ones I’ll still look into. 

I’m telling you I spoke directly to Deborah. I don’t know why they gave you a different response. Those lawyers wouldn’t be able to go to court with me, anyway. They are too far. 

Edited by heartlikealion
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Deborah put me in touch with the person over the pro bono initiative and this is the response I got. 

Quote

 

We no longer host a clinic at the school. Instead, we sponsor clinics in various counties. Unfortunately, the Pro Bono Initiative does not have any family law events in (my county) or the surrounding counties, but Mississippi Volunteer Lawyers Project has clinics throughout the state. Their website is mvlp.net. Another possible resource is Legal Services (800-498-1804).

 

of course I’m not lying. But I suspect they know more than whoever answered the phone. 🤷🏻‍♀️

 

Edited by heartlikealion

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1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

I just wanted a specific class that required money. Free ones I’ll still look into. 

I’m telling you I spoke directly to Deborah. I don’t know why they gave you a different response. Those lawyers wouldn’t be able to go to court with me, anyway. They are too far. 

 

Okay— I’ll guess.  Maybe Deborah Bell was referring only to specific DV (or family law) clinic which is closed, while I was thinking of General Street Law (general practice) clinic.

I understand you can’t go that far.   

 

 

Eta: I wonder if a Street Law student might be allowed to give a few minutes to you over phone for free though? 

 

Edited by Pen

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I second Katie's suggestion to seriously consider teaching even if it is not your favorite thing.  I don't think you will be able to depend on your husband for child care whether you are living together or divorced.  So plan your life as if you will be a total single mom.  And to do that you need a job that works around kids.  Since you have a degree I know you can get an emergency teaching certificate quickly.  If you are waiting until you put your dd in school next fall you have time to figure this out whether you intend to stay with him or not. 

Also I think the term narcissist gets over used sometimes. He behaves badly.  He needs to stop.  He either will or he will not.

 

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1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

I second Katie's suggestion to seriously consider teaching even if it is not your favorite thing.  I don't think you will be able to depend on your husband for child care whether you are living together or divorced.  So plan your life as if you will be a total single mom.  And to do that you need a job that works around kids.  Since you have a degree I know you can get an emergency teaching certificate quickly.  If you are waiting until you put your dd in school next fall you have time to figure this out whether you intend to stay with him or not. 

Also I think the term narcissist gets over used sometimes. He behaves badly.  He needs to stop.  He either will or he will not.

 

I think I've thrown this out there before, but medical coding can also be a very lucrative field, flexible and easy to get into. There is some basic certification required that can be done online. That is an upfront cost, but I suspect there are scholarship programs out there. The pay is great, and most positions are remote. You might run into some provisions against having children under a certain age in your direct care during working hours, but you could still work school hours, and ds is nearly old enough to qualify as a babysitter for dd (even though you'd still be in the house). My mom retired this past month from a supervisory position overseeing coders across the state in a large healthcare network. Some are even from out of state. They are only required to report in person for a meeting once per year. And of course all travel, hotel, etc. is on the company. They are always looking for reliable coders and many companies will pay for continuing ed., etc. 

You might need access to a computer while you get your certification, but once you are hired, the company will provide a computer, headset, internet service, etc. for you. Our local community college offers some classes as well; my mom used to recruit out of those classes.

Just another option to consider.

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1 minute ago, PeachyDoodle said:

I think I've thrown this out there before, but medical coding can also be a very lucrative field, flexible and easy to get into. There is some basic certification required that can be done online. That is an upfront cost, but I suspect there are scholarship programs out there. The pay is great, and most positions are remote. You might run into some provisions against having children under a certain age in your direct care during working hours, but you could still work school hours, and ds is nearly old enough to qualify as a babysitter for dd (even though you'd still be in the house). My mom retired this past month from a supervisory position overseeing coders across the state in a large healthcare network. Some are even from out of state. They are only required to report in person for a meeting once per year. And of course all travel, hotel, etc. is on the company. They are always looking for reliable coders and many companies will pay for continuing ed., etc. 

You might need access to a computer while you get your certification, but once you are hired, the company will provide a computer, headset, internet service, etc. for you. Our local community college offers some classes as well; my mom used to recruit out of those classes.

Just another option to consider.

 

Wow!

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I was desperate. Determined to get one job app done! Had the sitter watch dd a couple hours. Just submitted one job app. Called and got name of hiring manager so I could personalize the cover letter. 

Now I gotta go pick up dd and then we’re going out as a family to the pumpkin patch/petting zoo. 

I’ll have to edit my resume again to tailor it for the next job. 

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11 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I was desperate. Determined to get one job app done! Had the sitter watch dd a couple hours. Just submitted one job app. Called and got name of hiring manager so I could personalize the cover letter. 

Now I gotta go pick up dd and then we’re going out as a family to the pumpkin patch/petting zoo. 

I’ll have to edit my resume again to tailor it for the next job. 

 

Woot!   You go, girl!!!

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Heart, I’m so proud of you.  Do what you feel is right wrt to working at so-and-so and such.  Also, I think scarlet mentioned that work may not even be the best idea...I’d absolutely keep sending out resume after resume but make sure you ask the lawyer whether you should get a job or not.  

Also, I have family in North Miss.  If you need me to ask them anything about available DV resources there or job situations or anything else, PM me.   I realize you’ll probably want to stay in the southern half of the state, but just in case...   I also have family in Mobile, AL, who are very plugged-in to the community there.  Same goes...PM me if you need me to find out anything for you.  One family member owns section 8 housing, I believe, so just in case it came to that, you might be interested.    

Big, huge hugs.  

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You GUYS!!! 

I just saw a job posting for a publication owned by the man that owns the big newspaper I used to work at. They want someone with a min of 1 yr experience. I worked there 4 years. They want someone with QuarkXPress and InDesign experience. I’m one of the dinosaurs that has Quark experience. I have InDesign, too. 

He might even remember me. He cane by the office occasionally. The pay is better than what I made before. Partly inflation I’m sure but also higher COL area. 

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4 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

You GUYS!!! 

I just saw a job posting for a publication owned by the man that owns the big newspaper I used to work at. They want someone with a min of 1 yr experience. I worked there 4 years. They want someone with QuarkXPress and InDesign experience. I’m one of the dinosaurs that has Quark experience. I have InDesign, too. 

He might even remember me. He cane by the office occasionally. The pay is better than what I made before. Partly inflation I’m sure but also higher COL area. 

How far from home?

 

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1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

You GUYS!!! 

I just saw a job posting for a publication owned by the man that owns the big newspaper I used to work at. They want someone with a min of 1 yr experience. I worked there 4 years. They want someone with QuarkXPress and InDesign experience. I’m one of the dinosaurs that has Quark experience. I have InDesign, too. 

He might even remember me. He cane by the office occasionally. The pay is better than what I made before. Partly inflation I’m sure but also higher COL area. 

Nicely done, Universe! 

Hope it pans out! 

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1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

You GUYS!!! 

I just saw a job posting for a publication owned by the man that owns the big newspaper I used to work at. They want someone with a min of 1 yr experience. I worked there 4 years. They want someone with QuarkXPress and InDesign experience. I’m one of the dinosaurs that has Quark experience. I have InDesign, too. 

He might even remember me. He cane by the office occasionally. The pay is better than what I made before. Partly inflation I’m sure but also higher COL area. 

 

Super!

I hope it works out!

I definitely think you should try for it!  

(Also, If you get it, and you want to do it — see how that can work rather looking for how it can’t.  Maybe you’d have to get a reliable new or certified used late model car to safely and reliably commute even if your new income largely went to making car payments, or take a room rental in a house where you and kids would be during your work week...  but over all you might well be much ahead in your Life journey even if it’s logistically temporarily not ideal.   )

 

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6 hours ago, Scarlett said:

How far from home?

 

They are all give it take an hr but Dh said with the added income we could rent and then later buy a home. I don’t know. We’ll see. 

I turned in 2 more job applications tonight (he was chomping at the bit to get online). I’ll work on a 4th this weekend. 

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The attorney never called me. I know if I get a job it doesn’t mean family dynamics etc will magically be better but it might change some things. 

The kids were in the car so we couldn’t say much. When Dh suggested two homes... beeping the one on campus during the with week and then going to the other on the weekend I was like hmm maybe. I could get an apartment closer to my job and — then he got super offended, but didn’t say anything nasty. He heard the “I” and I said well, we get an apartment. Then he suggested I see the kids on weekends and I said excuse me? The kids would go to school near me, in a good school district. 

As long as everything is “we” and our plan, it sounds like there’s wiggle room for some space between us. But I suggested if I got the job he tries to transfer to the other campus when this one employee leaves. Supposedly she’s leaving with in the year? 

It’s true he may or may not be a narcissist. I just wish sometimes he would respect my decisions and not pester me. I’m one of those people that orders the same dish everytime I eat at a restaurant. So he said you know there’s a whole menu. Lots of better stuff. I’m like look, I know what I want and that’s what I’ve been looking forward to. I did try his appetizer which was surprisingly good but I didn’t care for the other thing ds and Dh ordered. 

Dd and I shared what we were craving and we even got matching drinks (smoothie). It was a great meal. 

Dh sorta criticized my walking trail petting zoo option. The safari was a lot more money and lasts 45 min. I didn’t know if we had the attention span for that or the funds. He did fall in love with the camel and I think everyone had a good time.

Made me think about the post about becoming a vet (or maybe it was vet tech). Don’t beat yourself up for following your passion. Who knows! Maybe you could have been at the school to fulfill your kids’ needs and been miserable! I know I don’t want to bring home stacks of papers to grade. Lots of teaching details are a huge turnoff to me. I have a sibling that teaches (she’s in public school but she’s also taught in private. I shadowed her for a day once. I passed the CBEST in California so I could substitute near her when I was living there but they weren’t hiring). She said she couldn’t do it if she had a family. We have similar personalities. She grades all her own stuff; won’t delegate it to a student either etc. like some of her colleagues do. She teaches high school level. 

Both my parents are ex teachers. My dad said he couldn’t deal with the discipline angle and he wasn't challenged enough. He has a master’s in math and I guess they weren’t hiring for upper level math. He taught 8th graders and one started a fire in the trashcan once lol 

My mother taught 2nd grade but she’s a woman of few words about her past so I need to ask what led her to leaving. 

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When you get a job, Figure out what you should do with money you make, what your own priorities are for it.  

Be careful on important purchases if any are made with your money to get your name on title, deed. And for them to be sensible from your perspective, not extravagant. 

Like Oregon, I think Mississippi isn’t a Community Property State.  Here I know someone whose exhusband got awarded the nice big house though she had worked for the money that bought  it: because his name, not hers, was on the deed.    She got the kids, but had to go rent elsewhere. 

Also as your husband’s family wants him to make someone else than you his beneficiary.  

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Good points. 

I don’t know if I told my parents the beneficiary thing. 

Dd ran away from me last night while my hands were full and I was bringing items into the house. She was indoors but when ds and I went inside she ran out saying she wanted to play. I told her to get back inside. I told Dh so he went after her. I also was trying to not let the cat run out. 

Dd came back inside crying and I asked what happened. I know the tears were from her being upset not necessarily from pain but she said Dh spanked her. I said, “don’t spank her. Put her in time out.” Time out is my compromise. PositiveDiscipline doesn’t believe in traditional time outs. But I let her do time out in the same room as me, rather than isolated. 

Where we live spanking is so common a judge probably wouldn’t even flinch. But I’ll write it down in my journal anyway. Just for my own records. 

Edited by heartlikealion

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Dh pointed out that the publication using quark may not be around long term because newspapers and such are dying (they are a newspaper & magazine). 

So I don’t know if I’d be better off at one of the other jobs. I’ll just see what, if anything, I’m offered. 

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42 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Dh pointed out that the publication using quark may not be around long term because newspapers and such are dying (they are a newspaper & magazine). 

So I don’t know if I’d be better off at one of the other jobs. I’ll just see what, if anything, I’m offered. 

You don't need long-term. You need something for now.

Newspapers may be dying but they've been dying for decades. Apply for everything and take the best job available to you right now. You can always move into something else later, if need be. 

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And don't let dh crap all over your opportunities. He's good at that.

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6 minutes ago, PeachyDoodle said:

You don't need long-term. You need something for now.

Newspapers may be dying but they've been dying for decades. Apply for everything and take the best job available to you right now. You can always move into something else later, if need be. 

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And don't let dh crap all over your opportunities. He's good at that.

Yes! And it'll help to have recent professional employment on your resume. 

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9 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Yes! And it'll help to have recent professional employment on your resume. 

Exactly. You're not looking for a career here. You're looking for a foot in the door and an opportunity for independence. Focus on the goal.

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Narcissism is both a personality disorder and a behavior. He doesn't have to have narcissistic personality disorder to exhibit the behaviors, and the methods suggested in the post to deal with narcissists will help with any sort of toxic person, and he is toxic.

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50 minutes ago, PeachyDoodle said:

You don't need long-term. You need something for now.

Newspapers may be dying but they've been dying for decades. Apply for everything and take the best job available to you right now. You can always move into something else later, if need be. 

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And don't let dh crap all over your opportunities. He's good at that.

 

43 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Yes! And it'll help to have recent professional employment on your resume. 

 

32 minutes ago, PeachyDoodle said:

Exactly. You're not looking for a career here. You're looking for a foot in the door and an opportunity for independence. Focus on the goal.

 

ITA!!!  

And you sounded jazzed when you wrote about the newspaper job! That’s important too if you get it, and if the boss is someone you get along with, it could make work more pleasant too. 

Also, you can then grow and update your skills, get more computer access etc.      skill improvement may then be at least tax deductible too, so may be less costly if already employed 

 

maybe in time with this job or one like somewhat like it, you could even be growing some extra freelancing side gigs so that if the paper magazine (or other business you might have been hired by) dies you’ll have some added possible income streams...

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Yes, I know. But I was getting down because what they use isn’t really going to teach me Illustrator or other new skills probably. However, I could try to do that another way maybe. 

One of the jobs I applied for wants Illustrator experience and I didn’t want them to dismiss me too quickly so I addressed it head on in the cover letter stating that I learned Quark on the job and used it daily. I could do the same with Illustrator. I had other skills/experience they wanted. 

Yes, I will take what I can. I’ll also apply for the mall job. It’s a marketing job for the whole mall. I’ll have to really dig for my old resumes to do that one. They care about retail experience they said. I’ll include my mall retail experience (I worked in a mall) as well as other retail experience (big box store). That job may be out of my league but sometimes job descriptions are crazy lol 

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The funniest thing about the mall is I already advertise for them. I’ve made flyers for social media with pictures since the remodel and host game days in their food court 😂 Naturally, we spend money on food and possibly other things. 

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5 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Dh pointed out that the publication using quark may not be around long term because newspapers and such are dying (they are a newspaper & magazine). 

So I don’t know if I’d be better off at one of the other jobs. I’ll just see what, if anything, I’m offered. 

 

he sort of sounds like a know it all who is trying to pop your balloon.  You didn’t need him to tell you that print is a shrinking industry, you have a communications degree and 4 years of experience in it!  Of the two of you, you are the one with more knowledge of the field.  You know that the industry faces challenges but there are also opportunities and one recent print job can lead to other opportunities.  

 

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On 10/4/2019 at 10:31 AM, PeachyDoodle said:

I think I've thrown this out there before, but medical coding can also be a very lucrative field, flexible and easy to get into. There is some basic certification required that can be done online. That is an upfront cost, but I suspect there are scholarship programs out there. The pay is great, and most positions are remote. You might run into some provisions against having children under a certain age in your direct care during working hours, but you could still work school hours, and ds is nearly old enough to qualify as a babysitter for dd (even though you'd still be in the house). My mom retired this past month from a supervisory position overseeing coders across the state in a large healthcare network. Some are even from out of state. They are only required to report in person for a meeting once per year. And of course all travel, hotel, etc. is on the company. They are always looking for reliable coders and many companies will pay for continuing ed., etc. 

You might need access to a computer while you get your certification, but once you are hired, the company will provide a computer, headset, internet service, etc. for you. Our local community college offers some classes as well; my mom used to recruit out of those classes.

Just another option to consider.

You can also specialize eventually if desired. I used to work for a medical software company and they employed coders who had the special certification related to cancer coding. The coders helped train and assist coders at hospitals, primarily remotely over the phone, who had recently purchased our software. So long term, there are opportunities for advancement and specialization if you desire.

Another thing I’ve known more than one newly single mom do is go back to school for a Master’s degree in Student Affairs in Higher Education (it can be called slightly different things at different schools). Often, housing and sometimes a meal plans are included in exchange for being an RA or HRA in family housing while in school and sometimes tuition is also covered. They go on to all sorts of positions at colleges, everything from housing to international  offices. My sister did this when her daughter was eight (on the advice of another divorced mom who had done it), and got a job after graduation at the same college where she got her degree. It really couldn’t have been a better situation for her in every way while she raised her daughter by herself.

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Also, the newspaper may at some point in the near future start upgrading to newer software and offer training on it - so get trained on the job for free. 

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5 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Yes, I know. But I was getting down because what they use isn’t really going to teach me Illustrator or other new skills probably. However, I could try to do that another way maybe. 

One of the jobs I applied for wants Illustrator experience

That job may be out of my league but sometimes job descriptions are crazy lol 

 

Re: Illustrator, I would do some online modules for that and “fake it till you make it”.  Don’t claim to have professional experience using it that you don’t but don’t say you are a total newbie to it either.  

Build up a portfolio

Do you have the software to practice on at home?  You should be able to get an academic license or subscribe to the creative cloud thing they have for a reasonable price.  

Re: out of your league.  NOPE.  It is not out of your league.  

https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre-100-qualified

there is a podcast about working and being a woman that I really like called Battle Tactics for your Sexist Workplace.  It’s got some great information you might find valuable.  

 

Edited by LucyStoner
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Oh I’d practice Illustrator if I could but I don’t have creative cloud and dh’s library only purchased creative cloud photoshop. 

I could still view videos I guess. And maybe next time I go to a book store flip through a book on it. Maybe like Illustrator for Dummies or such. 

I just submitted the mall application. It’s for a Marketing Events Coordinator. I attached a cover letter and mentioned that I’d been to their recent grand opening for a new store (I bought organic pumpkin seeds there. It’s a health store). I cited other relevant things. 

Dh said he thought they still had a while before they would shut down the paper but it made me apprehensive. 

Illustrator didn’t make a lot of sense at our job because the licenses were purchased for other things already like photoshop. My boss at the time had her own copy of Illustrator on her machine and drove news and graphics dept insane when she’d make her own ad and we’d try to modify it (because things get updated from issue to issue sometimes) and we’d have to open it in photoshop and chop it up and drag boxes over the text or try to find a similar font etc. So I think I kind of grew a hatred for Illustrator lol! It’s really a vector program and probably fine for creating logos. That’s why I think that one graphic design job I applied for uses it — they make car wraps and stuff. 

Edited by heartlikealion
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4 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Oh I’d practice Illustrator if I could but I don’t have creative cloud and dh’s library only purchased creative cloud photoshop. 

I could still view videos I guess. And maybe next time I go to a book store flip through a book on it. Maybe like Illustrator for Dummies or such. 

I just submitted the mall application. It’s for a Marketing Events Coordinator. I attached a cover letter and mentioned that I’d been to their recent grand opening for a new store (I bought organic pumpkin seeds there. It’s a health store). I cited other relevant things. 

 

Sounds good!  Keep on keepin on!  For most people it takes a lot lot lot of applications to land a job.

4 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Dh said he thought they still had a while before they would shut down the paper but it made me apprehensive. 

 

Well, now, “bless his heart” but I think he does tend to be a Debbie Downer. 

I guess his library probably has a while left before it’s shut down

in favor of digital.

https://www.acrl.ala.org/ULS/when-is-a-library-no-longer-a-library/

you can probably segue from print to digital design.  Wonder if he’s got what it’d take to run a totally virtual library?

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12 minutes ago, Pen said:

 

Sounds good!  Keep on keepin on!  For most people it takes a lot lot lot of applications to land a job.

 

Well, now, “bless his heart” but I think he does tend to be a Debbie Downer. 

I guess his library probably has a while left before it’s shut down

in favor of digital.

https://www.acrl.ala.org/ULS/when-is-a-library-no-longer-a-library/

you can probably segue from print to digital design.  Wonder if he’s got what it’d take to run a totally virtual library?

Thank you for putting things into perspective for me. 

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Could be fear of his library job vanishing to the digital age is driving his quest for another degree. 

and maybe it’s related to his personal spending on things for library — that he’s trying to bring in students to prove to powers that be there’s still an interest in a real brick , mortar and paper based books type library.  

He’s sort of like in a clay cuneiform archival storage type job — after the invention of paper. 

But even if there is personal anxiety driving him to put you down, put something that excited you down, at best he doesn’t seem very pleasant.  

Edited by Pen

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He wasn’t raining on the parade the whole time. He said, “apply now” and I said I had to do it from the computer when we got home and he grumbled over the computer. He said the job description sounded like it was written for me because it sounds like my old job. But I just got hung up on the newspapers are dying thing. 

He told me to apply for the job his friend told him about. But I’m sure it would cause friction between them if I got it. 

Today he was acting like a bully. I called him out on it. He was egging ds on to eat more of some spicy chips? Ds didn’t want to. I said from the other room, “leave him alone.” Dh called ds a tattletale. He said, “snitches get stitches.” I said, “he didn’t say anything. I can hear you.” I told Ds privately that Dh was acting like a bully so ignore him and leave the room if he needs to. 

Dh has weird humor and sometimes picks on ds in a way that is very unkind. I don’t like this kind of ribbing. He gave me grief about my eggs saying I was banned from making them til I learned how. Said I refuse to learn. Unfortunately he got a rise out of me and I said it’s not a refusal, I just haven’t been very successful. I made a small batch for the kids and dd said they were fine. 

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