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fairfarmhand

A New Social Club for Parents of Older Teens and Adult Children

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I just started a social group. Here's the description:

"Being the parent of an older teen or adult child can be just as challenging as many other stages of parenthood. This group is for parents of young people age 17 and up. I hope that this space can be a safe place to vent and process these challenges, while also soliciting feedback from other parents who are in the trenches or who have been there and made it through this struggle . I also hope that we can rejoice with one another when we manage to muddle through these challenges."

I'll admit that there are many times that I don't solicit advice on the main board because I struggle to be transparent with people who aren't dealing with the same type of things that I am. All through my parenting journey, I've had one really hard kid. When I'd share with people who have never experienced a kid like that, I'd get blank stares or, worse, condemnation of how terrible I am as a mother to have to deal with x, y, or z. It's a little demoralizing when you feel that you've already done all that you can think of to have people pile on about how I should fix this situation or how I must have caused it. 

I'm hoping that there are some other parents out there who can offer commiseration, gentle suggestions, support, and empathy when I'm struggling and I'd love to offer some to someone else who's in the same boat. I picture this group as a circle of people, sitting around a fireplace, sipping tea, coffee or hot cocoa. When our sister weeps, we hold her hand. When one shares a victory, we rejoice together. When someone asks for feedback, we gently mention things that may have worked for our family or something we read that might be of help. 

Let me know if you want an invitation.

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I don't qualify, but I just wanted to say I do appreciate people bringing their older teen/young adult challenges to the board.  It helps us moms of youngers to prepare for what is to come.

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I would love an invite. I have a 30 yo Aspie son, an almost 28yo son who struggled with SA and a 19yo in college with some new challenges. I never really know how I'm parenting. It would be fantastic to have good advice, gentle commiseration and feedback. And I'm a pretty good encourager.😁

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8 minutes ago, SKL said:

I don't qualify, but I just wanted to say I do appreciate people bringing their older teen/young adult challenges to the board.  It helps us moms of youngers to prepare for what is to come.

It can be very scary. The hardest thing about parenting is that you don't know whether you've done a good job until it's too late to do anything about it!

I think women often struggle with how complicated parenting can be. It's not as simple as : do a, b, and c and x, y, and z will occur. 

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2 minutes ago, Chris in VA said:

I would love an invite. I have a 30 yo Aspie son, an almost 28yo son who struggled with SA and a 19yo in college with some new challenges. I never really know how I'm parenting. It would be fantastic to have good advice, gentle commiseration and feedback. And I'm a pretty good encourager.😁

done

As to the bolded. 

Yeah. I know. I've been shaken by the stuff we've dealt with in the last couple years. I never would have pictured it. 

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I'd like an invite.  My 4 are 17-28.  Lots of issues that I could use advice and support for! 

 

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3 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

I'd like an invite, please. As you can see, I have 5 adult children. 

 

1 minute ago, Kassia said:

I'd like an invite.  My 4 are 17-28.  Lots of issues that I could use advice and support for! 

 

Got it!

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Knock, knock ...

I have an 18 yo who just started college.  May I join?  And is it OK to slug whiskey by the fire?  😉  Sometimes coffee just won't cut it....

 

 

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I would like an invite please.  I have one that just graduated college and is now out on his own far away  😞 , one still at home, and another who just started college.

Thank you.

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I'd really appreciate an invite as well. I don't have real-life friends who can offer advice (or a shoulder to lean on) as we travel this wonderful, but sometimes very challenging, road.

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6 minutes ago, bzymom said:

🖐 Hand Up high!  Mom to 4 alleged adults 😬.  Would love to share support.  

 

This is hard.

 

2 minutes ago, Miss Mousie said:

Knock, knock ...

I have an 18 yo who just started college.  May I join?  And is it OK to slug whiskey by the fire?  😉  Sometimes coffee just won't cut it....

 

 

 

2 minutes ago, natalie said:

I would like an invite please.  I have one that just graduated college and is now out on his own far away  😞 , one still at home, and another who just started college.

Thank you.

My there are so many of us. 

And @Miss Mousie you drink what you need to make it!  Bring enough to share! There may be others who need it!

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I’d like an invite. My oldest two are 18 and 21, and sometimes challenging. 

ETA: Thank you for doing this. I find I don’t want to share with friends IRL because my dc are adults now and talking to other adults about them feels unfair almost like gossip.

Edited by scholastica
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8 minutes ago, bzymom said:

🖐 Hand Up high!  Mom to 4 alleged adults 😬.  Would love to share support.  

 

This is hard.

I love the “alleged adults”. 

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*raises hand* Me, too, please. I have an 18 yo and, well, it’s hard to know when to say something and when to take a deep breath and not say something. 

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10 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I will qualify in three weeks, so would like an invite then! 😄

I tired to send an invitation, but can't type your first letters. Can you go to the social group page and ask for an invite?

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I'd like an invite. My oldest 3 range from 22 to 19. Oldest is out of school, working living on his is own a few hours away. Middle 2 are in college. Youngest is still in high school.

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1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said:

 

Let me know if you want an invitation.

I would like an invitation, please.

Edited by myblessings4

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44 minutes ago, scholastica said:

I’d like an invite. My oldest two are 18 and 21, and sometimes challenging. 

ETA: Thank you for doing this. I find I don’t want to share with friends IRL because my dc are adults now and talking to other adults about them feels unfair almost like gossip.

 

42 minutes ago, YaelAldrich said:

Inivte please.  My 18 year old....

 

31 minutes ago, brehon said:

*raises hand* Me, too, please. I have an 18 yo and, well, it’s hard to know when to say something and when to take a deep breath and not say something. 

 

12 minutes ago, Kimberly in IN said:

I'd like an invite. My oldest 3 range from 22 to 19. Oldest is out of school, working living on his is own a few hours away. Middle 2 are in college. Youngest is still in high school.

 

11 minutes ago, katilac said:

Sounds terrifying. I'm in! 

 

10 minutes ago, lispy said:

I'd like an invite.  My 3 oldest are 17, 18, and 21.

 

9 minutes ago, myblessings4 said:

I would like an invitation, please.

 

6 minutes ago, Lostinabook said:

I would like an invitation please. I have 2 in this age range.


Invitations sent. Welcome. I'm baking cookies.

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1 hour ago, scholastica said:

I’d like an invite. My oldest two are 18 and 21, and sometimes challenging. 

ETA: Thank you for doing this. I find I don’t want to share with friends IRL because my dc are adults now and talking to other adults about them feels unfair almost like gossip.

 

I’d like an invite!  My oldest just turned 17.

About the above: yup. Feels like a serious breech of trust and feels gossipy the older they get.

Edited by Garga
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I sent a PM. I'd love an invite. I have two - both in college now - one a freshman and one a junior. Both were homeschooled all the way through!

 

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Could I be added to the group, please? I have 24 and 20 yr olds currently at home, and another coming up. I have wanted to post more in the past but privacy has always held me back. -- LL

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I’d be interested in an invite.

Kids: 25, 24, 22, 20, 18, 17, 15, 13, 10, 8, & 3.

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Invite me, please. All three of mine are young adults.

I stopped opening up to  my IRL friends about my kids a long time ago, and I have never been comfortable doing it on the boards. But I have written countless imaginary posts to all of you, asking for your advice 🙂 

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