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klmama

How do you get yourself to do it?

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When there's an interpersonal something you have to do... and you don't want to do it... and you are dreading doing it... and you feel stressed every time you think of doing it... and yet you know you need to do it... how do you get yourself to do it?

 

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Write it out first. It helps me think through what I need to do. Depending on the situation, it helps me to think through priorities, errors in my process, goals/fears etc. I start with who, what, when, where, why and add in goals, fears, next steps etc. What ever is relevant to the situation.

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Go to where the person is. Sit down. Say, "I need to tell you something" or "We need to talk." And then you'll have to do it.

It's really hard, I know. Hugs.

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3 hours ago, Tap said:

Write it out first. It helps me think through what I need to do. Depending on the situation, it helps me to think through priorities, errors in my process, goals/fears etc. I start with who, what, when, where, why and add in goals, fears, next steps etc. What ever is relevant to the situation.

Thanks.  I just did some of this, and it helped.  

 

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I keep reminding myself that getting it over with will at least get me past the dread, which usually turns out to be the worst part.

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5 hours ago, Amira said:

I keep reminding myself that getting it over with will at least get me past the dread, which usually turns out to be the worst part.

Yep, this.

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I write it out first.  I've even brought notes with me at times, outline and all, because my thoughts tend to "freeze" when I'm in an emotional situation.

I take advantage of the moment when I'm in a "now or never" mood instead of a stalling mood, and I contact the person immediately (don't take time to think about it and back out) to set up a time/place to talk.  If it's someone within your own household, I still force myself to set a time ("hey, can we go out for coffee at 2:00?)

I also take time to reconsider my motivation for wanting to do this.  (Is it selfish?  Loving?  Objective?)

Good luck!!

 

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Normally I just force myself to get it over with, knowing that the dread is the worst part and will be gone once I just do it.

Sometimes, though, I need to be fortified with another cup of coffee or a nap.  Or I need to declutter my brain by doing some housework that could have waited.  Or all three.

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