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Would you leave a 14yo, competent, reasonably well-behaved kid at home alone for a few days/nights?


Ginevra
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Leave a 14yo at home alone or not?   

162 members have voted

  1. 1. Leave a 14yo at home alone or not?

    • Sure; what’s the big deal?
      15
    • No! Are you out of your mind?
      109
    • Well...maybe.
      38


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I read pages 1, 2, and 6.  Call me crazy, but I've left dd home alone for a few days.  We had a chance to take DS to a friends cabin that was actually accessible, but DD was in a B&M high school and wanted to attend a game and a dance with friends on our cul-de-sac.  She was 15 or 16 and her staying also meant we didn't have to make arrangements for the dog.  I called.  I texted.  One friend was taxed with dropping in and taking photographs before the dance. She had friends and relatives to call if she got spooked.  At one point she asked "How many people DO you have checking up on me?" She had neighbors she could go to.  Boyfriend's family knew she was home alone so they could check on her AND keep their son in sight.  Social media did NOT know that she was alone or that we were out of town. 😂 She was just a few years away from going to college and I didn't want her very first night alone to be spent away from home.  I had this experience at a younger age and I LOVED being home alone because you don't get much peace in a large family.  

If you're going to be nervous and call a lot, you might not be able to enjoy your trip.  Ours went really well and I had no regrets, but I had a lot of back up.  It might ease your mind to get someone to "house sit" with him.   Maybe you could even borrow a friend's dog so he's alone but not alone.  Is your older son's college close enough that little brother can visit for the weekend or that he could come home?  That would be super fun if they got along. Do you know any friend's parents?  At that age extra kids are easy.  You just throw food at them and you don't have to actually DO anything.  It's not really an imposition unless your son is insanely annoying.  I don't know what your SIL's problem is.  I'd take a nephew that age in a heartbeat.  He'd amuse my own kids and I could read a book.

If he were ten or twelve or had an untrustworthy girlfriend I'd be concerned, but I think it really is OK to ease into adulthood if the KID is ready for this step. I even think it's kinder and more natural than hovering until they're 18 then pushing them out of the nest.

You could always just get him an uber to sleep at your SIL's house and return him in the morning if that's more comfortable for everyone, but I'm 47 and I still LOVE the rare night I'm home alone.

Edited by KungFuPanda
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Thanks for that, @KungFuPanda. I have all but decided not to go. Or rather, to just go for a hike in Harper’s Ferry during the day, and maybe hit a craft brewery beer tasting either on the way home or another day. The trees won’t have fully turned here by then, but it’s simpler to arrange and much less expensive. 

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I ticked no are you out of your mind? But I don’t really quite think that.  We live in a fire risk area so for 7 months of the year I won’t leave someone here without a vehicle and licensed driver.  And I won’t babysit more kids than I can safely relocate unless the weather makes it really safe.

i also wouldn’t be leaving my particular kid for that length of time yet but I do get different kids and circumstances 

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 Well, if you have decided not to go, I hope that you commit to doing something substantial for your 30th anniversary or maybe a big upcoming birthday.

No excuses!  I do not accept that you can't afford to do something nice for yourself after all the years of doing so much for the rest of your family.

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