Can a woman control?

[Teaching3bears]

how much she bleeds every month or how much she bleeds during childbirth (either vaginal or c-section)?  If a woman bleeds too much is she to blame or is it possibly due to a flaw of character?  

I would have thought it was not in her control but an obstetrician once insinuated otherwise (though I might have misunderstood).  

Anyways, I am curious if the amount of blood is purely a physical phenomena or associated with something more psychological that I don't know about.

 

[maize]

Purely physical.

[Anne]

Purely physical.

[Tanaqui]

Noooooooooooo. No, no, no, no, no! No.

[Terabith]

11 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

If we possessed that type of sorcery, we'd rule the world for sure. 

This.  

[Tap]

With meds and procedures....sure! I haven't had a period since I was 30yo. I had ablation and it took it away 100%. I was never one to have cramps, so I really have zero idea when I would possibly be having my cycle.

I used continuous BCP before that, to stop my period.

DD12 (my autistic daughter) has had maybe 1.5 cycles in her life, because I called the PCP the day she started and put her on continuous BCP. Her autistic traits with a period would have been horrible to deal with.

DD20 used BCP, Patch and then IUD. She hasn't had a period in a few years. 

 

So yes, ,we can control it with external forces.  If they meant by will of mind...I don't think so. 

[Melissa in Australia]

I would say not usually,  but I have once managed by I don't know what power within me to slow down the bleeding for 1 hour. 

Too much information

When I get my period I bleed very heavily like in change tampon and pads every 15 to 20 minutes. Yes I do bleed myself anaemic every month.  I had to do a access visit with twins with their bio parents earlier this year. I could not go to the toilet. There is no way on earth I was leaving the twins unsupervised and not closely watched for a minute. I managed to go for the whole hour. I don't know how I did it.   About half an hour later (and 2 toilet stops)  I had a big flooding event that meant I had to run across a very public road to a toilet  completely drenched from waist down through all layers and get fully changed. 

I wonder if it was complete stress that slowed things down and when it was all over and I reaxed........ I don't know. Pretty embarrassing 

[Melissa in Australia]

Oh I just remembered another time. About 7  years ago I had a breakdown. I lost 7 kg in 3 days and skipped my period. I wouldn't recommend having a break down though. It took many months to recover. 

[Tessamae]

As an RN, I can assure that it is a physical process and has nothing to do with a person’s character.

[moonflower]

When I hemmorhaged postpartum with my 3rd child as a result of uterine atony, the nurse (who had missed it and allowed me to take a shower, then missed it again when it restarted and encouraged me to go to the toilet on my own when I felt like it, where I fainted) kept saying as she was massaging my uterus that we needed to get my uterus to "behave" and "be good" and etc.  Maybe it was hormones but I was really pissed off.  Of course I said nothing as I was more conflict averse then and younger.  But boy did that make me mad, implying my uterus had some sort of moral or even functional blame in the situation, instead of an incompetent nurse who hadn't checked me properly (twice!)

[katilac]

What kind of freaky deaky OBs are you meeting? 

[LMD]

Oh yes, we can wither crops and sour milk and make chocolate turn that gross chalky white. Didn't your witch woman manual turn up?

Sorry that you ran across a misogynist OB! No, it's not in your power and certainly not your fault if/when/how much you bleed when menstruating or giving birth.

[Liz CA]

 I am completely dumbfounded. I sincerely hope you misunderstood the doctor...otherwise he needs to retire from the profession and relocate to an island.

[kiwik]

Do they also believe that a woman can't get pregnant through rape therefore pregnancy is proof of consent.  How can bleeding be a moral failing?  

[lewelma]

When I first got my period I thought that if I quit drinking water my period would have to be less. I tried this approach for a full year even while running Track and Cross Country. So very very little water for about 4 days each month.  And to state the obvious, NO it did not work.  And to state the obvious #2, if I die of kidney disease, I will know why!

Ah, the stupidity of youth!

 

[gardenmom5]

is this a serious question?  is someone making you think you can control your flow?

if she makes herself anemic and goes hypothyroid she can reduce the flow.    or exercises so hard she develops amenorrhea.  I wouldn't recommend any of them.  they're not healthy.

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Thatboyofmine said:

Was this OB a man?

Clearly...🙄

[Carrie12345]

I’m insulted that any adult woman would entertain this idea of blame and moral character.

[Teaching3bears]

yes, he was male and older but this happened a while ago so I hope he is retired.

it's more the childbirth bleeding he was talking about.

[katilac]

2 hours ago, Teaching3bears said:

it's more the childbirth bleeding he was talking about.

Maybe he was poorly expressing the idea that increased heart rate and blood pressure means an increase in blood loss, and therefore staying calm can actually help while waiting for an ambulance after being stabbed in an alleyway? He's still an asshat, because I don't see it applying as directly in childbirth, plus failing to stay calm when a medical situation goes south is hardly a character flaw, but there is kinda, sorta a tenuous connection that may have sparked the idea. However, medical professionals can safely assume that the vast majority of patients are not high level yogis or Jedis or hypnotists who have spent years practicing control of their blood flow and other bodily functions. 

Edited September 7, 2019 by katilac

[DesertBlossom]

On 9/7/2019 at 5:58 AM, Teaching3bears said:

yes, he was male and older but this happened a while ago so I hope he is retired.

it's more the childbirth bleeding he was talking about.

I do feel like the more I am up and moving around the heavier the bleeding. As far as I understand, it's like have a giant internal wound where the placenta had been attached. So you need to give yourself time to heal. So in that respect, maybe? 

My last few pregnancies I drank a lot of red raspberry leaf tea in the 3rd trimester and I do think it helped reduce the bleeding. 

[bolt.]

I remember a teen book in  the '80s that went to the trouble of debunking a myth like this -- that girls could pause their periods by crossing their eyes or some-such.

For me, if teen novels can debunk this, an OB believing it is inexcusably unprofessional.

[J-rap]

hahahaha!  Of course not.

[SKL]

I do think there are choices we can make that can influence it.  But this will vary quite a bit from individual to individual, and also over the course of an individual's life.

I have no idea what that obstetrician was talking about.  Maybe there was a communication issue.

[Farrar]

I can “hold it” for a couple of minutes tops.  Like, ooh, I feel overflow starting, let me clench everything in the hopes of saving my underwear and embarrassment as I hurry down this hall. But that has nada to do with the amount. And it’s not like I could do it long term.

We’re all chuckling, but politicians and school administrators and so forth are totally making policies that rely on this crap.

[Targhee]

On 9/6/2019 at 11:03 PM, Liz CA said:

 I am completely dumbfounded. I sincerely hope you misunderstood the doctor...otherwise he needs to retire from the profession and relocate to an island.

An island populated only by males 

[Targhee]

29 minutes ago, Farrar said:

I can “hold it” for a couple of minutes tops.  Like, ooh, I feel overflow starting, let me clench everything in the hopes of saving my underwear and embarrassment as I hurry down this hall. But that has nada to do with the amount. And it’s not like I could do it long term.

We’re all chuckling, but politicians and school administrators and so forth are totally making policies that rely on this crap.

Huh?

[Farrar]

2 hours ago, Targhee said:

Huh?

So, there was a politician who literally said this. That women can control their flow and thus don't need sanitary products. In fact, this myth is pretty common on the men's rights boards. A lot of men seem to think that women can choose when their periods happen and how much flow they have. Timing it, of course, to inconvenience men or ask for "special treatment."

Beliefs like this cause politicians to believe that women in prison should not have access to adequate menstrual products, that tampons and sanitary napkins should be taxed as luxury items (as they are in most states), and that students who receive free lunch should not additionally receive free menstrual products at school. At many schools, rules for teenage girls preclude access to the bathroom for long enough to change a pad or a tampon for several hours. Can you time your urination? Yes. Can you time when blood flow decides to kick into high gear? No, not always. But girls get punished in schools for needing the bathroom for five minutes to deal with menstruation.

[TCB]

On 9/7/2019 at 12:03 AM, Liz CA said:

 I am completely dumbfounded. I sincerely hope you misunderstood the doctor...otherwise he needs to retire from the profession and relocate to an island.

Hey what about the poor people on the island? Or were you meaning a desert island?

[Targhee]

1 hour ago, Farrar said:

So, there was a politician who literally said this. That women can control their flow and thus don't need sanitary products. In fact, this myth is pretty common on the men's rights boards. A lot of men seem to think that women can choose when their periods happen and how much flow they have. Timing it, of course, to inconvenience men or ask for "special treatment."

Beliefs like this cause politicians to believe that women in prison should not have access to adequate menstrual products, that tampons and sanitary napkins should be taxed as luxury items (as they are in most states), and that students who receive free lunch should not additionally receive free menstrual products at school. At many schools, rules for teenage girls preclude access to the bathroom for long enough to change a pad or a tampon for several hours. Can you time your urination? Yes. Can you time when blood flow decides to kick into high gear? No, not always. But girls get punished in schools for needing the bathroom for five minutes to deal with menstruation.

To the first bolded, WTH... I had no idea there were people so ignorant and clearly speaking “out of their lane.” What in the... I bet a Ven diagram would show an ironically large overlap between men who believe women can control their menstrual flow and men who believe men can’t control their own actions once sexually aroused...

To the second bolded, first I didn’t know that feminine hygiene products were available free at schools for some. Where does this happen? And where is it either free and reduced lunch or tampons?

To the third bolded, no not ever... I mean, I won’t even concede you can control bleeding ever.  You might be able to hold it vaginally for a moment (odds of success doing this are probably higher for younger women who have not had vaginal deliveries), but that doesn’t control flow (ie blood/tissue sloughing and leaving passing through the cervix). 

Thanks for the information. I’m either going to get a kink from SMH so much or tmj issues from how far my jaw dropped.

[Jaybee]

On 9/7/2019 at 7:58 AM, Teaching3bears said:

yes, he was male and older but this happened a while ago so I hope he is retired.

it's more the childbirth bleeding he was talking about.

The ONLY thing I have ever been able to control of any of this, is when I did too much, too soon, after childbirth, and I bled more and longer. So I when the amount increased after being less, I took the hint and slowed down.

[Farrar]

12 minutes ago, Targhee said:

To the second bolded, first I didn’t know that feminine hygiene products were available free at schools for some. Where does this happen? And where is it either free and reduced lunch or tampons?

This is a thing that has come up in a few states and districts where they try to provide free sanitary supplies - either for all or for girls who are in economic need. And it has gotten giant pushback. I think many schools do have supplies at the nurse's office. But school nurses have been cut in many places. You know how school teachers often have to shell out for their own supplies? I think this is something school secretaries often have to pay for on their own to benefit the kids.