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Calming Tea

So, how do your freshman seem to be adjusting??

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I will start:

Ds seems to be super happy and doing well.  

All classes are do-able, and the only class that is really making him work right now, so far is Latin as it's all brand new.  BUt he really loves Latin and finds it easier than German was. 🙂

He joined several clubs, started a board game group from his floor and is enjoying his Special Living Option, so far no drinking at all, relatively early nights and good sleep, and enjoying all the parties and meetings that the Special Living Option provides.  ...he will have to weed out some of the clubs after he attends a few meetings because 5 clubs, the Special Living Option requirements and 17 credits is too much 🙂 So the next few weeks he will whittle it down to just one physical and one engineering based club. 🙂

Room mate awesome, a total blessing, thank God.

He didn't drink enough water the first week because he just wasn't thinking about it but now has found the filling station 🙂 ....

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Mine is glad her choice is such a good fit for her. She seems happy & already adjusted to college life (2 weeks of classes done already). I hear from her more often than I thought I would.

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Mine has been gone for 9 days and is only 2 days into classes.  I am so happy - he is doing great!  He was anxious about some parts of heading to a larger school but he's connecting with his geeky non-drinking peers and finding stuff to do.  He only has 1 class he is less than thrilled with and said day 2 was better than day 1.  We've been at least texting a little every day and he's even shot a couple photos at me.  It's very fun.  We miss him so much but I'm also so excited for him.  

Sounds like he's getting along with his roomie just fine.  His roomie is local and had a built in friend group but luckily my son moved in first and had made a few social connections before he moved in.  Says the food is just fine.

I am plotting all sorts of campus visits during the year.  I love the city his school is in and there's plenty to do and see there.  

One thing  have appreciation for this week as someone who graduated a homeschooled/dual enroll student is how comfortable my kid is in his own skin and how he doesn't mind being alone.  I'm seeing posts on our parent board about kids not wanting to go to events or meals without knowing someone.  And honestly, I remember feeling that way when I first went to college.   He has had no issue taking initiative on his own to get out and meeting people.  And I don't consider his super outgoing or boisterous at all.  Go homeschoolers!  

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Good point, my guy has taken lots of initiative to get out there and do stuff but he's just fine eating alone or going to an event alone if no one wants to go (such as the tours going on right now etc.) 🙂

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Just now, Calming Tea said:

Good point, my guy has taken lots of initiative to get out there and do stuff but he's just fine eating alone or going to an event alone if no one wants to go (such as the tours going on right now etc.) 🙂

Yay - I just think that is so level headed and mature and it didn't really occur to me until I saw all the angsty posts about kids struggling with this on our parent board this week.  And other kids will get there, but it's a great skill to come into college with.  

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It's been up and down with mine. He just started classes Tuesday, but had orientation starting last Thursday. He was miserable the night before move-in day, but when we left on Friday he was feeling a lot better. Then when I talked to him the night before classes started he was feeling really homesick and lonely and told me (kidding. mostly) that he'd looked it up and could fly home on Thursday for $107. But he seems much better since classes have started. He likes all of them so far and also his library work study job. I think the relative lack of structure and constant pressure to be out meeting people during orientation wore him down. He still thinks he's doing it all wrong because he doesn't have like six new best friends already, but it sounds like he IS meeting people, and I'm fairly confident some of them will end up being real friends. 

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My dd18 has junior standing, since she transferred after getting her AS in Business at the CC, but she's still just 18 and this is her first time away at school at a dorm.  (She did have a shared apt since Jan, but it was 10 min. away, she was at the CC she'd already been at almost 4 years by that point, and she came home all the time...)  She seems to be doing fine so far - she's actually back home tonight because she has an aquatherapy appt. tomorrow morning - school is about 1.5 hours away, and she has a car.  She heads back tomorrow morning after that as she has a class Friday.  She's in a weird place because she's not in a freshman dorm, and she won't be taking freshman classes, but apparently they ran out of space to put the transfer students together somewhere, so they're scattered about.  She did meet some kids at a transfer student function and has been hanging out some with them, and a friend of her sister's (a sophomore) ended up living on her floor, so she's been hanging out with her sometimes too.  Her older sister is in the area too, at an off-campus apt (she'll graduate this year).

She only moved in Sat, so it hasn't actually been that long!  Classes started Tues, so she's been to each one only once.  Very first impressions is that she likes them all except maybe her 'fun elective' so she may drop that (she doesn't need the credits).  She's looking for a job (no work/study, so it's a bit harder as most are earmarked for those kids), and says she's going to start looking at the list of clubs to see if anything would interest her.  She has a single room and an emotional support cat, so both of those things help.  And I also think having already done so much CC has her used to a college-type schedule. A friend of hers just asked her to come visit at her school (a couple hours away?) this weekend, but dd said not yet, she wants to focus on making friends there for now.

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I think ds is doing ok, but it's much harder to tell than it was with his sisters! He doesn't share much with us, but we went to the last orientation and met a couple of guys who live across the hall from him. It was a happy coincidence and has given him people to hang out with. He likes his roommates, but he commented that one of them is an alpha. It was a strange comment to hear from ds, but dh had said the exact same thing when we met him. I'd never heard that alpha used in that context before. Because ds is so far away, he didn't come home for the Labor Day weekend and just told me he doesn't want to come home for fall break either. 😞 I guess we'll see him next at Thanksgiving, then 2 weeks later for Christmas.

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My guy has only called to talk once a couple weeks into things. Then he called his sister and then his father and then his brothers. He was a little bored the first weekend amd I told him if he didn't have too much homework find another club 🙂

Classes surprised him by being easier than he thought they would be but I warned him some teachers start slow and cram things in at the end. He is part of one club and has done some biking. He is a little sad about the trails as he is spoiled from great single track trails at home. He has visited a couple churches and thinks he found one he likes. 

 

I think he is finding his way fine but currently is a little lonely or homesick if I judge by the phone calls. He calls his sister more than me but they are used to talking at all hours.

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Is this where I confess that I stalked him on Instagram when I didn't hear from him for a couple weeks? 😁 I knew what club he had joined and followed them. Yep, he is still alive. Whew!

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DD is doing fine. 😀  Her roommate is an International student and DD is an Overseas American, so they have a lot in common. They are getting along well, which is a huge relief, after reading some of the nightmare stories about roommates from hell. The mother of the roommate went to the USA with her daughter and she spent a few days there, and DD spent some time with them, shopping for things for the room, etc., and I suspect the mother of the roommate was very happy to see that my DD is a nice young woman. 😀

The trip from Colombia on the 12th of August was the first time DD had gone anywhere by herself, but it was pretty well planned (Spirit Airlines had begun service to Cali last Christmas and to Raleigh-Durham early in May) and we were blessed that someone here on WTM picked her up at the airport in NC and got her and her luggage safely into her Dorm that night and saw that she could check-in and sleep there as planned. That same family invited her to their house for Lunch on Labor Day. It is truly a blessing from God, for my DD and for us to have them helping.  😀  Much appreciated!

 

 

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11 hours ago, kokotg said:

It's been up and down with mine. He just started classes Tuesday, but had orientation starting last Thursday. He was miserable the night before move-in day, but when we left on Friday he was feeling a lot better. Then when I talked to him the night before classes started he was feeling really homesick and lonely and told me (kidding. mostly) that he'd looked it up and could fly home on Thursday for $107. But he seems much better since classes have started. He likes all of them so far and also his library work study job. I think the relative lack of structure and constant pressure to be out meeting people during orientation wore him down. He still thinks he's doing it all wrong because he doesn't have like six new best friends already, but it sounds like he IS meeting people, and I'm fairly confident some of them will end up being real friends. 

I didn't know your son was at Mac.  I'm very local if he ever needs a local contact!  I think lots of kids are up and down right now - they'll get there!  It does help to have the structure of classes and a job.  

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34 minutes ago, FuzzyCatz said:

I didn't know your son was at Mac.  I'm very local if he ever needs a local contact!  I think lots of kids are up and down right now - they'll get there!  It does help to have the structure of classes and a job.  

Thank you! We don't have any family in the area, but we have a surprising number of internet friends who have offered to be available if he needs anything 🙂

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4 hours ago, Lanny said:

DD is doing fine. 😀  Her roommate is an International student and DD is an Overseas American, so they have a lot in common. They are getting along well, which is a huge relief, after reading some of the nightmare stories about roommates from hell. The mother of the roommate went to the USA with her daughter and she spent a few days there, and DD spent some time with them, shopping for things for the room, etc., and I suspect the mother of the roommate was very happy to see that my DD is a nice young woman. 😀

The trip from Colombia on the 12th of August was the first time DD had gone anywhere by herself, but it was pretty well planned (Spirit Airlines had begun service to Cali last Christmas and to Raleigh-Durham early in May) and we were blessed that someone here on WTM picked her up at the airport in NC and got her and her luggage safely into her Dorm that night and saw that she could check-in and sleep there as planned. That same family invited her to their house for Lunch on Labor Day. It is truly a blessing from God, for my DD and for us to have them helping.  😀  Much appreciated!

 

 

 

This is so wonderful it brought tears to my eyes.  Glad there are loving helpful people in the world willing to go out of their way for others.  So glad your dd is doing well.

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DS had a very rough first week (this is week #2) -- he made a snap decision on Tuesday because of it, and wasn't upfront with us about certain things, because he was afraid of disappointing us (found out there has been some deception about what his plans really are, did NOT chastise him for having different goals, but of not being honest about them.  After all, our advice is only as good as the information we have from him!! So, a bit GRRR).  He sat down with his swim coach and told her he didn't think he had the time to swim.  He had too much on his plate.  😱  I flat out asked him if he really wanted to swim (don't tell me what you think I want to hear, tell me how you truly feel).  He said he does.  He loves to swim -- he just felt that with his dad having to drive him in and pick him up, on top of his classes & work-study obligations, he thought it was going to be too much for US and HIM to juggle (he didn't ask us BTW).

Scholastically, he has a very easy schedule.  DS has some confidence issues (has felt like he was "dumb" since about 6th grade -- has always hated to struggle, associates struggle with failure, doesn't seem to realize it's not about how much one struggles, but the mastering the work and completion that determines success in a course).  He signed up for Precalc (he took Calc 1 two years ago, it was a struggle, but he got an "A").  He finished all of the Precalc assignments for the next two weeks in about three hours. He was so surprised at how easy it is (insert mom-eye-roll here).

DH and I are going to sit down with him again (Sat or Sun) and walk through the things that have him worried, and see if there is a way for him to "undo" Tuesday's fiasco.  Sometimes academic counselors don't do kids any favors by simply telling them to quit something, agreeing with their feelings without any context (it doesn't help that DS was stressing himself out because of how he thought DH and I might be feeling -- because he didn't ask us).  A week of welcome for athletes is also much more stressful than for other kids (lots of extra events/required meetings), and then add a HUGE move into the mix as a commuting student, forgetting a quiz because of it (quizzes are 7% of the final grade).  There was a ton happening his first week and a half in school -- but that (for him) is pretty much all settled down and eased up.

His classes are going well.  I think he is a bit too consumed with his Chemistry work (He is spending an inordinate amount of time outlining chapters -- methinks he's being a bit TOO thorough, but his sister went through that with AP Bio -- so he has to find the balance between too much and good enough).  His academic adviser told him that for every 1 hour of class, he should have 3-4 hours of study time (He's in class 15 hours, but two of those are recitations -- which ARE study time, and one is a career building class that is part of his scholarship).  That study time also assumes challenging courses.  If he can do 2 weeks of Precalc in 3 hours... I don't think he's going to need another 9 hours this week to study for that class, do you?

It's been a week.  He really likes the school.  It's a good fit.  He likes his classes, he likes his professors, he likes his teammates.  He doesn't like morning classes (oh well -- you gotta be there at 0600 anyway...)  He is, for the most part, doing a good job figuring things out. He just has to realize that just because the decisions are his, it doesn't mean he has to figure it all out alone -- and that his dad and I are here to support him and advise him -- but we can't do either without knowing what's going on (and no, we haven't called, emailed or otherwise interfered with anything or anyone at the school -- if he decides to go back to the swim coach and do the I'm sorry, I was feeling really overwhelmed because of our move, the long days of meetings during week of welcome, and I was just extra tired because of not having a good bed to sleep on for a few nights -- and I really, really want to swim, may I please come back?) That's on him.

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I have two "starting" university this semester... my oldest did two years at a community college-type school here in Dubai and went to the US last year to transfer to a state univ. They told him his fees would be out of state, and advised him to wait and work until he got state residency; so the past year he's been working two jobs and getting himself settled as legally independent and thankfully was able to be granted resident status.  He started univ this year as a late-sophomore, although his academic advisor said with diligence he should be able to finish in two years.  I was a little concerned, because there were several positives to going this route but one negative is that since he transferred all his gen ed classes, four of his five classes this semester are in his major.  I remember turning to him in the advisor's office and saying, "well, I guess you're gonna find out if you like this major or not!" 😉  However he does seem to like them all, he has a maturity and seriousness that was missing before which I attribute to the gap year and being away from us.  So he's got himself pretty settled, I think, taking classes full time but still working on the weekends.

My second didn't want to stay here in UAE so he thankfully got enough financial aid to go to a small, private univ in the same city; he's living with his brother and my parents, and commuting.  I think he was nervous about friends, but the school is small and really focused in the orientation week on bringing students together -- had a mandatory overnight camping trip, a formal convocation ceremony (somehow Hogwarts-Sorting-Hat-Day-esque in my mind), etc... and they have lots of activities and resources specifically for commuter students to make them feel included.  Needless to say, with my extrovert middle child, he was able to get into a social group fairly easily.. academically he says it's going "fine," but I guess we'll see when he gets through midterms.  He's very chatty, so I hear from him a lot on WhatsApp, pics, videos, etc. And I must say that I have never seen a school so on the ball and attentive, I only ever went to a large state university so this treatment at a smaller school (there are just over 600 students in his class) is an eye-opener for me.  He filled out a bunch of online forms back in the spring about his interests, etc., and we figured no one really looks at those; well turns out, someone does -- because when he got there they had already set his class schedule for the semester and other than a couple of mandatory 1st year courses, it was all things he likes; and they made sure he had Friday afternoons open, because "we saw in your file that you're Muslim so assumed you'd need Fridays to be pretty free."  Amazing.

Edited by Kate in Arabia
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Okay, I think dd would be okay with me sharing this. In response to a comment I sent her, she responded that "[College is h]onestly not that different than high school. Just more friend options and things to do."

I find that a bit crazy coming from a home schooler that took, at most, one DE class a semester. She did take several online classes.

She added, "Turn homework in online, show up to class, take good notes, pay attention, etc."

Who knew our homeschool was like college except with less to do & less friend options - both the latter a function of living in a tiny town in farm country?

Edited by RootAnn
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Wow RootAnn I love your post! That makes me more confident that my up and coming dd will adjust ok, because she's not really doing a lot of DE, just a bunch of pretty strong college prep co-op classes.  

Kate- sounds fantastic, what a good transition all around.  So happy for you! 

LisaK- swimming is a huge commitment...I would encourage him to stick with it but if he's really tired of it....after a whole semster...do you think it's ok to let him drop it?  The problem with swimming is you have to go twice per day six days per week....

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There are a couple of parents here with DC who are commuting. I understand there are often compelling reasons for that, but I believe it adds to the stress and to the lack of time. Time is what university students need more of...

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19 minutes ago, Lanny said:

There are a couple of parents here with DC who are commuting. I understand there are often compelling reasons for that, but I believe it adds to the stress and to the lack of time. Time is what university students need more of...

 

My third college student is commuting fifteen minutes away. A fifteen minute drive, from our driveway to my son's handicap parking spot in front of his building, does not add significant time. He has two physical disabilities, so he benefits from home support. So he actually has less stress than if he had to manage everything on his own, while in college. We all benefit from not going into debt tens of thousands extra, over his four year degree, just for him to live elsewhere when he's content to stay here. 

My eldest son commuted to a college that is 20 minutes away. He noticed that students easily spent 15 to 20 minutes walking from student housing to other campus buildings, especially in bad weather, so he didn't feel he was wasting any time. At larger universities in our state, when we visited we noticed that the students were walking or biking from many blocks away. At one school, the freshman dorms were two miles away, up and down hills and through town, and students walked. Anyone living a 15 to 30 minute drive away was not spending more time getting to class, at those schools.

It depends on the student, the major (lab majors are frequently required to live on campus), the relationship with parents, and the stark reality of whether the extra room and board costs would prohibit college entirely. My midwestern city has many universities and colleges. Commuting and off-campus housing are very, very common here. Unless the major requires it, or unless the family prefers and can afford dorms, it strikes us as a waste of money to stay in the dorms. It's typical here for the student to commute from home for the first two years, and then switch to off-campus housing with roommates for the last two years. Off-campus housing in the Midwest is half the price of dorm living. Local commuters almost never switch from their bedroom at their parents' house to sharing an even smaller room with two or three people, for $12k/yr, in dorms. They spend half of that, and get their own bedroom in a two-bedroom apartment with a friend.

I think everyone agrees that a one-hour or longer commute is probably detrimental to study time, making friends, socializing, and feeling a sense of belonging at college. But I thought I would just represent the scenario that up to half the students in a midwestern city find familiar and tolerable. We are very thankful for our local colleges. Our kids are not compromising on accreditation, reputation, or choice of major to attend these schools, so commuting is a viable plan when the students got top merit aid but still need loans. At least they won't need $12k/yr more for room and board.

 

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We live in a major metro and know many commuting students.  It's very often about finances and schools that have significant number of commuters make special efforts to keep those students in the fold.  It's great if a student can have a go away college experience.  But it can absolutely be just fine if they can't.  Housing is expensive!  I also think some students can and do succeed better with consistent family support and guidance during the transition to college.   Not every 18 year old is the same.

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would you guys replying mind sharing where your freshman child is attending? i can't recall from the acceptance threads... 

this is such a great thread, really enjoy reading it. my oldest is a senior this year, so like to see what's in store for us.

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My son's commute is 30 minutes, door to door (maybe a bit more in the afternoon going home, if traffic is an issue).  I had to walk that far in the 90s to get from my senior dorm to the classrooms...in a dress and heels.  He attends Old Dominion University.  

18 hours ago, Calming Tea said:

Wow RootAnn I love your post! That makes me more confident that my up and coming dd will adjust ok, because she's not really doing a lot of DE, just a bunch of pretty strong college prep co-op classes.  

Kate- sounds fantastic, what a good transition all around.  So happy for you! 

LisaK- swimming is a huge commitment...I would encourage him to stick with it but if he's really tired of it....after a whole semster...do you think it's ok to let him drop it?  The problem with swimming is you have to go twice per day six days per week....

If DS had said he didn't want to swim, I'd be fine with it.  He wants to swim, but felt like his schedule and what he thought about DH and my schedule made it too difficult (he didn't ask us, just made assumptions).  He also hadn't had one normal week.  He based everything off of how he was feeling the two major weeks of extra meetings (and 18,000 pounds of household goods being dumped on us -- which he hasn't actually had much to do with). He's currently upstairs playing online games, and has been doing so for several hours (that's another nerve pretty raw right now).  

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6 hours ago, LisaK in VA said:

My son's commute is 30 minutes, door to door (maybe a bit more in the afternoon going home, if traffic is an issue).  I had to walk that far in the 90s to get from my senior dorm to the classrooms...in a dress and heels.  He attends Old Dominion University.  

If DS had said he didn't want to swim, I'd be fine with it.  He wants to swim, but felt like his schedule and what he thought about DH and my schedule made it too difficult (he didn't ask us, just made assumptions).  He also hadn't had one normal week.  He based everything off of how he was feeling the two major weeks of extra meetings (and 18,000 pounds of household goods being dumped on us -- which he hasn't actually had much to do with). He's currently upstairs playing online games, and has been doing so for several hours (that's another nerve pretty raw right now).  

 

Yeah, he should definitely give it at least a month before making any major life changing decisions 🙂

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Dd18 called me up last night in just a bit of a funk about feeling like she missed her friends from home and while she had met some nice kids, she didn't think they were bosom friend material. and making new friends is a pain.  LOL, it's been a week.  She hasn't even had a full week of classes yet.  She has a 1-credit class that meets next week for the first time that is just for Business transfer students, I told her that would probably be a good place to maybe meet some new people, and of course suggested she get busy looking at the lists of clubs, and to visit any that looked interesting.

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My dd just started full-time studies at our local university. She's commuting, as is my ds doing part-time courses at 2 different universities in town, and my dh who is a part-time prof at the same university. It's affordable and works for us. My dd has 3 long days of classes and 2 day with no classes - and that's with 4 classes with lectures, labs, tutorials and discussion groups. She has a LOT of time on-campus, but also a lot more time at home. 

I didn't stay in a residence until after completing a 5-year undergrad. I HATE residence life. It drives me completely bonkers. 

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Just saw this thread and thought I would chime in!

My daughter is at NYU and it's been going amazingly well! We were all a bit worried about the adjustment from homeschool to a huge school in a new city (particularly since some of her reasons for homeschooling were anxiety and depression), but it has completely exceeded all of our expectations. We just went up for a night to celebrate her birthday with her (and since she's in NYC that included a nice Italian dinner, a Broadway show and a celebrity sighting 🙂) and she looked very happy. It was great to see her having such a successful start.

Two things have really helped. First of all, she has completely lucked out with housing. She's on a "loft" floor in a huge dorm, which basically means she's in a apartment that covers the entire 11/12th floor of her building with 2 full kitchens and 2 huge common spaces. She has a room with just one roommate, but shares the suite with 19 others plus their RA - 10 girls and 10 guys. Her roommate is nice, but even better she has really clicked with a large majority of her other suite mates. They have baked cookies, there are daily Mario Cart games, and they watched the debates together as a group - and tonight they are throwing her a dinner for her birthday! For my introverted nerdy kid, this is like a miracle. I feel so happy for her!

Secondly, she is in the "Liberal Studies" program at NYU which means that none of her classes have more than 25 students. It's a very structured program that basically front loads all of NYU's gen ed requirements in the first 3 semesters, and then you transfer to another NYU school (automatic transfer to all except Tisch or Stern). She wasn't happy about this when she was first admitted, but it's actually perfect for her. For a STEM student I think it would be challenging, but she's planning to major in Art History and Classics so it's working really well for her. She'll also get to study next fall in Florence if she wants to, and that is very exciting as well.

I realize that there will be ups and downs in the next few months, but we are all just so glad that she's already settled in so well.
 

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On 9/7/2019 at 11:56 AM, RootAnn said:

Okay, I think dd would be okay with me sharing this. In response to a comment I sent her, she responded that "[College is h]onestly not that different than high school. Just more friend options and things to do."

I find that a bit crazy coming from a home schooler that took, at most, one DE class a semester. She did take several online classes.

She added, "Turn homework in online, show up to class, take good notes, pay attention, etc."

Who knew our homeschool was like college except with less to do & less friend options - both the latter a function of living in a tiny town in farm country?

Glad your dd has adjusted so well!

FWIW, my kids have all said that their freshman yr was easier than having me as a teacher. 😉

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21 hours ago, kirag714 said:

Just saw this thread and thought I would chime in!

My daughter is at NYU and it's been going amazingly well! We were all a bit worried about the adjustment from homeschool to a huge school in a new city (particularly since some of her reasons for homeschooling were anxiety and depression), but it has completely exceeded all of our expectations. We just went up for a night to celebrate her birthday with her (and since she's in NYC that included a nice Italian dinner, a Broadway show and a celebrity sighting 🙂) and she looked very happy. It was great to see her having such a successful start.

Two things have really helped. First of all, she has completely lucked out with housing. She's on a "loft" floor in a huge dorm, which basically means she's in a apartment that covers the entire 11/12th floor of her building with 2 full kitchens and 2 huge common spaces. She has a room with just one roommate, but shares the suite with 19 others plus their RA - 10 girls and 10 guys. Her roommate is nice, but even better she has really clicked with a large majority of her other suite mates. They have baked cookies, there are daily Mario Cart games, and they watched the debates together as a group - and tonight they are throwing her a dinner for her birthday! For my introverted nerdy kid, this is like a miracle. I feel so happy for her!

Secondly, she is in the "Liberal Studies" program at NYU which means that none of her classes have more than 25 students. It's a very structured program that basically front loads all of NYU's gen ed requirements in the first 3 semesters, and then you transfer to another NYU school (automatic transfer to all except Tisch or Stern). She wasn't happy about this when she was first admitted, but it's actually perfect for her. For a STEM student I think it would be challenging, but she's planning to major in Art History and Classics so it's working really well for her. She'll also get to study next fall in Florence if she wants to, and that is very exciting as well.

I realize that there will be ups and downs in the next few months, but we are all just so glad that she's already settled in so well.
 

 

 

This iS SO AWESOME!! I really wonder if the suite-style living arragements help with socializing and not being isolated, since there's a living room sort of right in the middle.  My son is in a special living option that hosts events, parties, academic stuff and requires participation but everyone is still very isolated...strolling down a hallway with doors closed makes it really hard to meet people, even if you do reach out constantly via group chat.  I know my son is feeling a little lonely here and there and it will take time to really connect, and make friends...I AM SO HAPPY for your daughter! (But it's a Note to Self for my up and coming daughter not to spurn the idea of the suite style dorms) 

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On 9/8/2019 at 6:03 AM, mirabillis said:

would you guys replying mind sharing where your freshman child is attending? i can't recall from the acceptance threads... 

this is such a great thread, really enjoy reading it. my oldest is a senior this year, so like to see what's in store for us.

 

My son is at the University of Alabama Huntsville.

 

 

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So he is super regretting not taking another math class. He is finding most of his STEM classes review and feels labs are definitly a step down in quality from what he is used to. I assume they will get better. I wish he would have gotten the physics classes out of the way last year but thought he'd want to do more of the classes for his major at his school. 

Anyway, he is bored and believes he has a 4.0 but isn't really trying. This is probably because he took AP physics and the hardest calc teacher at our local university and has already taken C# which he finds is pretty much the same.

 

I guess the frustrating part is that if he is going to double major he will need heavy course loads the rest of the time which will be material that IS newer to him. So it's frustrating that this would have been the best semester to take extra classes. Live and learn. He is looking into seeing what he can maybe self study and test out for now and may look into starting a new student club next semester if he can get the Judo teacher to be the advisor.

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Same with my son.....we heard horror stories about Math 140 at PennState, so my son started there instead of 141...(he could have actually started the classes AFTER 141 even but we were so afraid he'd get a bad GPA and not be able to stay in engineering)...

SO he's literally trying not to fall asleep and fighting the urge to play on his phone during class.  He's three weeks ahead in homework ...

BUT it's better for them to have classes which are too easy while they adjust, than classes which are too hard!! And, hitting it right on the nose is practically impossible so... 

they'll just be bored for one or two semesters and hopefully have good GPA!

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4 hours ago, Calming Tea said:

Same with my son.....we heard horror stories about Math 140 at PennState, so my son started there instead of 141...(he could have actually started the classes AFTER 141 even but we were so afraid he'd get a bad GPA and not be able to stay in engineering)...

SO he's literally trying not to fall asleep and fighting the urge to play on his phone during class.  He's three weeks ahead in homework ...

BUT it's better for them to have classes which are too easy while they adjust, than classes which are too hard!! And, hitting it right on the nose is practically impossible so... 

they'll just be bored for one or two semesters and hopefully have good GPA!

 

All those things that I bothered me about him not looking ahead and not being interested in his future so much, well, now he has time to. Here he had TKD everynight, church activities, dual enrollment, full time plus overtime work in the summer, missions trip, work on the house, commuting.  He was tired and busy.  Now he is scheduling ahead and looking into working at the math lab and starting a Judo club all on his own. I realize now it's because he has time. So maybe this is good. He can take advantage of learning the ropes, knowing timelines and how to look for internships and on campus jobs and just have things down. He told me he can fit in everything he wants in under 18 credits if he takes a summer class and I'm like, "Are you not coming home for summer?" "What about work and paying for a place, blah blah blah." To which he responded that there were some things he could take online. So maybe under scheduling isn't that bad of a thing. It's giving him the breather he hasn't had (especially with our added displacement due to the earthquake and other crazy life circumstances) and he can get re-enrgized for another 4 years and that is a good thing because he is on his own now and he needs to have his own motivation and take really take charge.  

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My kid has got some classes that have been super easy so far too.  I think with all the adjustments and getting to know the environment and getting involved in clubs and opportunities on campus I totally agree it's better to err on the side too easy first semester!

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My dd21 also had some classes that were too easy freshman year.  She could've skipped both intro CompSci and Physics based on her AP scores, but the former was taught in a different language than the AP (C vs Java), and she thought her AP Physics class was lame, even though she did fine on the test.  She could've skipped both.  At least she decided to skip the first semester of Calc, because she felt her AP Calc class (AB) had been rigorous, and that did end up being the right call.  But you never know.  She'd been advised that most people who skipped the first CompSci class had trouble later because of the language difference, but she found the differences minor and intuitive - sometimes there's no way to know how it will go in advance.

Dd18, being a transfer, is heading into the deep end with mostly junior-level classes.  But she's only taking four 3cr classes, plus a 1cr transfer seminar.  The class she's liking the least is the junior-year writing class, which is Business Communications - she has to write memos and cover letters!  Seems straightforward to me, but she's grumbling, lol.  No complaints about the Accounting classes so far, though...

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On 9/5/2019 at 5:56 PM, FuzzyCatz said:

One thing  have appreciation for this week as someone who graduated a homeschooled/dual enroll student is how comfortable my kid is in his own skin and how he doesn't mind being alone.  I'm seeing posts on our parent board about kids not wanting to go to events or meals without knowing someone.  And honestly, I remember feeling that way when I first went to college.   He has had no issue taking initiative on his own to get out and meeting people.  And I don't consider his super outgoing or boisterous at all.  Go homeschoolers!  

I found this to be true of my dd last year also, and I was so thankful! It was wonderful and just the opposite of what I expected. I thought if anyone had trouble getting out there and going to things it would be homeschooled dd, but she just jumped right in and helped several others find their feet too! 

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Comp Sci is one of the classes my kid is finding a breeze.  He had no option to skip.  He did do an online AP comp sci but it was challenging to attempt to schedule the test so we gave up.  He's done other Udemy programming classes.  But honestly I had NO idea how that would go.  There are lots of parents looking for tutors of that class on the parent board right now too.  It's considered a weeder class.  

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3 minutes ago, FuzzyCatz said:

Comp Sci is one of the classes my kid is finding a breeze.  He had no option to skip.  He did do an online AP comp sci but it was challenging to attempt to schedule the test so we gave up.  He's done other Udemy programming classes.  But honestly I had NO idea how that would go.  There are lots of parents looking for tutors of that class on the parent board right now too.  It's considered a weeder class.  

Yeah, a lot of kids had huge trouble in that CompSci class. They weren't lying that for most kids it would have been a really bad idea to skip. I hate to say it, but I think some of it is that if you find the logic of programming intuitive,  it's just a heck of a lot easier that if you don't. . (Well, true of many other subjects too, but seems a lot of people who don't find it intuitive or even really like it are going into it because. .. money). But that was definitely a weeder class...

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1 minute ago, Matryoshka said:

Yeah, a lot of kids had huge trouble in that CompSci class. They weren't lying that for most kids it would have been a really bad idea to skip. I hate to say it, but I think some of it is that if you find the logic of programming intuitive,  it's just a heck of a lot easier that if you don't. . (Well, true of many other subjects too, but seems a lot of people who don't find it intuitive or even really like it are going into it because. .. money). But that was definitely a weeder class...

I think that is definitely true.  Both my DH and I have comp sci degrees.  🙂

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My dd is doing well.  As she is Pre-Nursing, she is taking Anatomy, which is a weeder class, but she is doing really well in it and quite enjoys the material.  She is doing well in her other classes, too, and her time management has been wonderful (Anatomy has SO MANY assignments).  She, like others her age it seems, wonders why she hasn't made instant best friends (where did they get this idea?), but she has made a couple of people she actually calls friends (high praise from her as she is fairly picky on the use of this word), and she keeps running into other people that she knows.  She does not have much free time, but has managed to make time to volunteer on Wed. nights, and occasionally attend a regular event on Tuesday nights.  She also feels very confident in going to events on campus alone, like others have noted about their kids. And finally, in the cutest thing ever category, she really enjoys hanging out in Cat Alley and petting all the resident cats on campus.  Last week, she said it was like a museum, where all the cats were out, and you just went from one to the next.  🙂 

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14 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

Yeah, a lot of kids had huge trouble in that CompSci class. They weren't lying that for most kids it would have been a really bad idea to skip. I hate to say it, but I think some of it is that if you find the logic of programming intuitive,  it's just a heck of a lot easier that if you don't. . (Well, true of many other subjects too, but seems a lot of people who don't find it intuitive or even really like it are going into it because. .. money). But that was definitely a weeder class...

 

Yes, and for my son a literature class with a ton of writing would be his weeder class. Both are important but whether something is easy or not is very much a matter of perspective. 

He dreads Fine Art. He took an actual drawing class (that I'm curious how he is doing in but he thinks he has an A) because he thought music appreciation would be impossible for him.  Ha I was worried he wouldn't survive drawing though. 

He only has 2 classes after that for general education credits and he can focus on his major. 

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1 hour ago, FuzzyCatz said:

I think that is definitely true.  Both my DH and I have comp sci degrees.  🙂

 

Agreed, I remember when we were first married (and young and stupid) my husband thought I should learn how to program. After all I am intelligent!  I was able to understand the book, memorize things, and even read other people's programs and make detailed hand drawn five page flowcharts that were all correct.  BUT I COULD NOT actually write my own program (aside from the obvious hello world)....seriously, there is something not there in my brain.  NOT Everyone can be a programmer!  

We later took detailed IQ tests and found out that every part of my IQ is gifted range or way above gifted, EXCEPT logic and creativity which were marginally above average.  🙂 You gotta be creative and make logical leaps.

There are already kids literally crying in class at PennState due to Calc 1 and the first CS class....I hate to say it but most of them will not make it into the 46% that get to stay in the engineering program.  And that's ok. Luckily they have about 160 other majors to choose from 🙂

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11 hours ago, Calming Tea said:

 

There are already kids literally crying in class at PennState due to Calc 1 and the first CS class....I hate to say it but most of them will not make it into the 46% that get to stay in the engineering program.  And that's ok. Luckily they have about 160 other majors to choose from 🙂

 

 

This makes me so sad.  There are so many people with so many talents but everyone is told (because it's partially true) that STEM fields are the only way to make money. Certainly, there are other ways but there are also a lot of people relegated to making pretty low wages their whole life and I can't help but wonder if that is why(fear or parents or wanting the good life) they are there rather than it's really what they want to do with their life.

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On 9/15/2019 at 2:15 PM, Calming Tea said:

 

 

This iS SO AWESOME!! I really wonder if the suite-style living arragements help with socializing and not being isolated, since there's a living room sort of right in the middle.  My son is in a special living option that hosts events, parties, academic stuff and requires participation but everyone is still very isolated...strolling down a hallway with doors closed makes it really hard to meet people, even if you do reach out constantly via group chat.  I know my son is feeling a little lonely here and there and it will take time to really connect, and make friends...I AM SO HAPPY for your daughter! (But it's a Note to Self for my up and coming daughter not to spurn the idea of the suite style dorms) 

My daughter has a lot of friends a year older than her, some at a college that is a 30 to 45 minute drive depending on traffic, others at college in other states, one at college in Europe.  She says she likes the suite style rooms best of what she has visited, and her friends with them like them. 

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On 9/15/2019 at 10:23 PM, frogger said:

So he is super regretting not taking another math class. He is finding most of his STEM classes review and feels labs are definitly a step down in quality from what he is used to. I assume they will get better. I wish he would have gotten the physics classes out of the way last year but thought he'd want to do more of the classes for his major at his school. 

Anyway, he is bored and believes he has a 4.0 but isn't really trying. This is probably because he took AP physics and the hardest calc teacher at our local university and has already taken C# which he finds is pretty much the same.

 

I guess the frustrating part is that if he is going to double major he will need heavy course loads the rest of the time which will be material that IS newer to him. So it's frustrating that this would have been the best semester to take extra classes. Live and learn. He is looking into seeing what he can maybe self study and test out for now and may look into starting a new student club next semester if he can get the Judo teacher to be the advisor.

Is it early enough that he can still add a class?  There should not be much homework to catch up on and some people may drop classes.  I would have him talk to several levels of people and perhaps individual teachers in courses he is interested in.

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17 minutes ago, ElizabethB said:

Is it early enough that he can still add a class?  There should not be much homework to catch up on and some people may drop classes.  I would have him talk to several levels of people and perhaps individual teachers in courses he is interested in.

 

He started a month ago so it feels kind of late. 

He wanted to talk to a couple Departments about testing out of a couple more required classes and is looking into tutoring also. I'm sure he'll find something. At least he is looking.

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My kids do the 2+2 route with the local community college and the commuting to a large four-year.

I had a few sleepless nights over my younger one who is at the four year, now but she's doing great. She's had a lot to overcome to get to the point that handling the uncertainties of commuting and a much bigger school were doable. I had my doubts the first week, but she loves it now. Yesterday was a bit of a mess with trying to get to class on time, but she figured it out on her own.

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DS told me last night that he joined the quiz bowl team and he's going to a tournament on Saturday! And he went to the weekly math dept problem solving group! I'm so proud of him; I know being away from home + new people 24/7 has been really tough for him, but he's putting himself out there. It's still early, but I'm feeling hopeful that all those years of constantly trying to find the right balance of pushing my extremely introverted kid out of his comfort zone vs. not might be paying off now. He's pushing HIMSELF out of his comfort zone! 

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Yes, @kokotg! It isn't a 100% change but I have noticed she's doing the things that I have recommended, cajoled, and pushed her to do - but I am not there doing any of that & don't even know the opportunity is there. Sometimes she just comments that she knows she should have done such-and-such. But she's doing more than before. 

Plus she has a love of learning still alive in a way many high school grads don't. We were talking about her sister 's Latin and she said she almost feels like starting it up again because she feels like she would like it more now. She joined the Korean Club and is trying to learn Korean through it. (??!)

She's astonished me a few times so far (signing up for swing dancing? My kid?). Most recently she said her favorite class (after the mandatory intro to research class that she enjoys other than the group project that no one else in her group is working on) is English!! She says she enjoys the discussions.!!

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Had to share this one. DD called (really, it was the internet equivalent of it) last night because one of her suitemates guilted her into telling us she was planning on going to a concert tonight (about 2 hrs away from her college). She said she was going to send us a message with the info today right before she left but her suitemate felt strongly that we should know 24 hrs ahead of time.

I find this funny because DH was just commenting that his parents sure didn't know what he was doing at college. And that her suitemate must have been concerned we would try to talk her out of it or something. (DD knows better.)

I told DD that as long as someone in her suite who is not going knows where she's headed, who she is going with, and when to expect her, she doesn't need to tell us beforehand in the future. (The suitemate who has the info should also know who to contact if she's not back a reasonable time after she's supposed to be.) And to have a great time. DH reminded her to check her oil.

Will I be worried about her driving late at night in areas she doesn't know? Yep. Do I know the people she's going with? Nope. But I'm glad she's spreading her wings. (Part of me would rather not hear about this until afterwards, though, because I will worry about her.)

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