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CuriousMomof3

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He teaches music and art because he has skills in those areas. He also does more housework than I believe most husband's do in support of me.

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I do all the homeschooling.

He sometimes takes them to museums and such on Saturdays, so I guess he is in charge of field trips.

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I do all the actual homeschooling and planning for homeschooling.  He bankrolls and builds things.  He also does 99% of the cooking, and a decent percentage of the cleaning.

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I did the majority of the school for the majority of K through 12.  Dh worked from home for part of the time and helped frequently with things he enjoyed........science experiments were his speciality.  That said I prepped those experiments really well. 🤣  My kids did online degrees while living overseas and Dh coordinated almost all of it, I just kept them clean and fed.😉

 He helped with our annual paperwork, listened to my prolonged planning angst and paid for it when I had it figured out.  We have both done the housework for years with Dh doing more than his share frequently.

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I treat it as my job.  Dh is there to sound off points with and discuss future paths, but I teach/coordinate all the lessons, do the paperwork, buy the curriculum, etc.  Dh takes care of extracurriculars that are on family time.

Since we each work, we divide household tasks on our off time.  Dh and I share the cooking, we have specific cleaning chores we each gravitate to (he does toilets and folds laundry, I keep laundry going and do the rest of the bathroom, for example).
 

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He tutors the computer programming, listens to me rant/talk about curriculum options, and doesn't complain when I spend yet more money on yet more books. He also answers all my questions about public school, since I didn't go, but I think his experience skews advanced... He's got a June birthday but graduated before age 18.  

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Actual direct involvement in teaching, course selection, materials? Nothing. But in making our homeschooling lifestyle work? Everything.

He makes the $$. 🙂 He runs by the store on his way home from work. He was 100% responsible for our boys BSA activities ( he took them to their meetings, was a leader so  went on all their hikes/campouts, etc. He picks up my slack on the rough days ( folds the laundry, picks up take-out, deals with the kids when he gets home (this last one isnt an issue anymore, but when we had 5 kids 9 and under....that was a biggie.)

He is our homeschool's strongest supporter. He believes in me, our choices, and our lifestyle. When we first started, he was skeptical bc we had never even heard of homeschooling before.  It was supposed to only be for 1 yr....ds's K yr. (Our families were opposed to it, too.) It was definitely  a radical decision when we started in 94. But, he became a fan quickly and has supported my decisions without any questions. He trusts my educational decisions for our kids without any doubts. That is huge in the world of support.

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my family is probably unique in that DH is on a disability pension because of a work related accident. therefore he is home most of the time.

I do the  book side of homeschooling - the academic subjects of language, mathematics, history, science etc. I agree with the above poster I treat it as a job and do it to the best of my ability.

 DH does the outside subjects.- teaches about nature, Welding, fixing small and large motors, car repairs, land management etc.

 this is how we did the 5  bio kids

 the twins are a bit different as they need very very close supervision at all times. We split up the supervising of them and do roughly equal time on most days

 

 

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2 hours ago, HomeAgain said:

I treat it as my job.  Dh is there to sound off points with and discuss future paths, but I teach/coordinate all the lessons, do the paperwork, buy the curriculum, etc.  Dh takes care of extracurriculars that are on family time.

Since we each work, we divide household tasks on our off time.  Dh and I share the cooking, we have specific cleaning chores we each gravitate to (he does toilets and folds laundry, I keep laundry going and do the rest of the bathroom, for example).
 

 

1 hour ago, 8FillTheHeart said:

 But in making our homeschooling lifestyle work? Everything.

He makes the $$. 🙂 He runs by the store on his way home from work. He was 100% responsible for our boys BSA activities ( he took them to their meetings, was a leader so  went on all their hikes/campouts, etc. He picks up my slack on the rough days ( folds the laundry, picks up take-out, deals with the kids when he gets home (this last one isnt an issue anymore, but when we had 5 kids 9 and under....that was a biggie.)

He is our homeschool's strongest supporter. He believes in me, our choices, and our lifestyle.

The above pretty much sum up our situation.  We treat my teaching as a full time job.  He is a wonderful supporter and listener.  He does the grocery shopping, cooks twice a week and handles most of the finances and the cars.  He is 100% in charge of BSA and TKD extra curriculars and some of the soccer.  Because he works next door, he sometimes supervises music lessons or can come home and work (or I can send a child to work at his work) if I need to take a child to the doctor or a field trip (this happens less often now that that the kids are older.)

Some years he has done Bible study with the kids (but we probably would have done that had they gone to school.)  In theory he could help with high school math and science (he was certified as a math teacher), but in practice that never really happens.

It is possible that in a few years I will get a job on Mondays (when he is off), but he would have more of an advisory role there.

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DH works two jobs so that I can say home. Homeschool is my responsibility; I am the one who decides curriculum, plans lessons, teaches, and deals with the paperwork. DH helps with his areas of expertise (astronomy, physics, Greek, Latin, and chatechism) if /when I ask. He listens to me complain/brag and bankrolls everything.

DH is a high school teach/adjunct professor, so on weekends and during summer he takes the lead in laundry, dishes, and general housecleaning. During the school week, household chores fall on me.

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I do everything. 

In fact, if I suggest that he do anything that might contribute to homeschooling he will go out of his way not to do it even if it is something that he would have happily done otherwise, such as watching a movie with our son.  I don't think this is intentional, but it is weird.

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I did all of the teaching until high school (although my dh helped with languages from the get-go, since he's fluent in several).  In high school, I still did the majority of teaching, but he taught the history courses  -- regular and AP, because that's his passion.  

He also had his business/full-time job, and was very active in community projects.  He got very involved in whatever activities our kids were involved in (being part of athletic parent committees, set-building for plays they were in, etc.).  He also made all of our kids' birthday cakes and Halloween costumes.  🙂 

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I do all the planning and teaching; menu planning, shopping and cooking; housework (only to fairly low standards); and nearly all the driving to extracurriculars and general child maintenance stuff (e.g., medical and dental appointments). I'm a former teacher, so the teaching part is because I'm good at it and I like it! It was my idea to homeschool. I've taken the trouble to learn to cook and manage food because it's important to me; DH'd just as soon live on bologna, sliced tomatoes, applesauce, and chips. (Take-out is not a safe option for DS.)

DH works long and somewhat unpredictable hours, mostly at a location almost an hour away and also some evenings and weekends at home. He pays bills, maintains the cars (except I buy gas for mine) and the computers, mows the lawn, and generally takes care of outdoor-type things (gutter cleaning, pest control, etc.). He does his own laundry on the weekend. He takes DS to the Y for a little while on Saturday mornings and to his church early on Sunday mornings.

We never get anywhere with major projects. I don't have the bandwidth and he'd rather not spend money on the house. We need at minimum to redo the master bathroom and the front yard's landscaping. I'd be delighted to get them both done in the next year, as they're years overdue.

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5 hours ago, elroisees said:

He tutors the computer programming, listens to me rant/talk about curriculum options, and doesn't complain when I spend yet more money on yet more books. He also answers all my questions about public school, since I didn't go, but I think his experience skews advanced... He's got a June birthday but graduated before age 18.  

Not complaining about curriculum and book habits is extremely important here too! Oh dh could make such a deal if he wanted to......but he never asks. And like this year when I had to buy new math curriculum after just having bought two levels of our previous- not a peep. Just supportive which is worth so much. Not having to second guess or feel guilty. I should tell him! 🙂 

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13 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I do it all. Dh is my enabler- bankrolling all the things, and patiently listens to my angst and attends the once a year homeschool conference with me. That’s his job,  LOL. 

That's pretty much what we did.  DH also had great ideas when I got stuck, and when the Boy was older, like 10-up, the two of them would go on a long road/camping trip once a year and get out of my hair.  :0)  I was ready for them to come back at about day 10.  

I should also add that he gave me spine when I needed it.  I am a rule follower, and he is a rebel, and he was the one who gave me the spine to try new things, like homeschooling, and to stick to my guns, like classical or die, and see things through.  

Edited by Patty Joanna
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I did my strengths, which was all of the research, purchasing, planning, scheduling, and most of the teaching/implementation.

DH worked 24-hour shifts on the fire dept. -- but that also meant he had 24-hour days off in between shifts, plus a several days-off break at the end of each "tour", so when DSs were young, DH would oversee a morning of work about 3 times a month so I could go to a Bible study. DH also came along occasionally for field trips.. When DSs were in high school, he completely oversaw the Logic course and Church History course (which were DH's strong subjects). Also, about once every year or two, DH would stay at home with DSs for a few days so I could go on a personal retreat and he would oversee the schooling I had left for them, or he would take DSs for a few days of camping, fishing, or skiing, which is educational in a totally different and special way. 😉

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I am so happy for all of you that have such supportive husbands! It definitely makes the road easier.

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5 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

my family is probably unique in that DH is on a disability pension because of a work related accident. therefore he is home most of the time.

I do the  book side of homeschooling - the academic subjects of language, mathematics, history, science etc. I agree with the above poster I treat it as a job and do it to the best of my ability.

 DH does the outside subjects.- teaches about nature, Welding, fixing small and large motors, car repairs, land management etc.

 this is how we did the 5  bio kids

 the twins are a bit different as they need very very close supervision at all times. We split up the supervising of them and do roughly equal time on most days

 

 


We're in a similar situation, although we just have one kid who needs continuous supervision.  

DH works nights, so he's often home during the school day, although of course he's asleep for a fair amount of that time.  

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DH mainly is the money earner so that I can afford to stay home and homeschool.

He is a great (sometimes) go to person if I need support, ideas, or feedback on things.  Lately he has been a little too involved in wanting to direct school curriculum which has been a bit irritating, even though I know he means well.  DH also helps with math and science when I get a bit over my head.  But for the most part running the household and homeschooling are mine to take care of.

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Mr. Ellie works 40+ hours a week so that I can stay home. And because he's gone that many hours a week, of course I do most of the formal instruction. He happily participated in our weekend-long field trips, such as the time we went to all 21 California missions...in a week...and he was a band parent on trips when dds were in marching band. He also never complained if we were out for the day and dinner was iffy, or there were always art projects on the kitchen table.

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37 minutes ago, Ellie said:

Mr. Ellie works 40+ hours a week so that I can stay home. And because he's gone that many hours a week, of course I do most of the formal instruction. He happily participated in our weekend-long field trips, such as the time we went to all 21 California missions...in a week...and he was a band parent on trips when dds were in marching band. He also never complained if we were out for the day and dinner was iffy, or there were always art projects on the kitchen table.

Glad to know that doesn't just happen at my house!! 😁

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I do all of the teaching and everything related to teaching (planning) etc.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.  He is already working two jobs anyway - one to pay the bills and the other because it is his calling (pastor).  I feel called to be a teacher and I have selected being a home educator as my (unpaid) job. 

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When I was homeschooling I handled most of the day to day.   My husband was taking contract jobs, and when he was out of work I would get work as a substitute teacher, and he would become my substitute homeschool teacher during those days.

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I do all of the day to day stuff and most of the planning, although DH is better at long term planning than me and is better able to see the big picture in some ways, so at the annual homeschool convention he gets his brain picked and helps me think long term as I make my plans and curriculum choices. He doesn't wince at any of my Amazon Prime purchases and doesn't complain about late suppers and a messy house. Me (or the kids on my say so) do all the cleaning and cooking and laundry, but he does a lot of outdoor and maintenance work that I don't touch, so it all evens out. Occassionally his engineering knowledge is used for tricky math or chemistry or physics problems. He tells me how amazing I am and how great I am for the kids when I feel depleted.

Mostly he is my support staff 😁

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1 hour ago, Momto6inIN said:

 He tells me how amazing I am and how great I am for the kids when I feel depleted.

Yeah, this is my dh's greatest contribution for sure!

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I do all the a school stuff. Dh is fine with homeschooling, but not invested. If I wanted to put thrm in ps and get a ft job, he'd be fine eith that. Sometimes I do wish he were more with me in this venture, emotionally and intellectually. 

I work two part time jobs, but he is the main money-earner. He and ds do all of the heavy yardwork. Dh fixes things, runs errands, does sports and scouts with ds, and comes to everything I ask him to. He never, ever complains about food or a messy house! He helps with chores if needed. I cook and meal plan bc I like to. Kids are beginning to do more of that and they do lots of household chores. 

 

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I would say that my husband is involved in the kids education, besides working the whole day.  Although he can't be a part of our lessons, he always make it a point to talk to each kid about what they learned that day, but that's as far as it goes during the week, with the occasional board game if he's not exhausted. But on the weekends he'll get hands on, mostly STEM activities, since that's what he enjoys. He teaches them about programming (his field of work). Right now he and the kids are working on a LittleBits robot thing I have no idea how it works, but they all love it. They'll play math board games and somehow he makes it fun for the kids (they refuse to play those with me, can anyone relate? 😅). They'll play with the lego simple machines set and circuit kits and he'll use those to demonstrate basic physics concepts the kids are learning. He'll ocasionally take all 4 kids to a museum or the aquarium if I need time alone. He'll even do the occasional art craft, if the kids insist. Basically he'll play with the kids but they learn too, and most importantly they leave me alone for hours 😁 He is VERY opinionated when it comes to choosing curriculum and he does a lot of research, probably more than I do. But that can get really annoying since he has very high expectations of the children and often thinks that we should be doing more, even though our oldest is only 7. He wants high-achievers and a strong academic foundation and I am very much a fan of a Montessori, child-led and learning through play approach, specially with kids so young. So we have to meet in the middle. 

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We  are also a unique situation. My husband is home when we are home. He is also on disability for chronic illness. He does a lot more with the homeschooling than my ex-husband did with my older kids. My ex was completely hands off, by his own choice, I did everything and ex really didn't care what we did. My current dh helps with curriculum decisions and helps teach as much as he is able with his illness. He watches science and engineering shows with ds and helps him understand the concepts. He is really good at explaining concepts on a simple level. I do most of the 3r's instruction but if I left a simple lesson plan for him, he would try and complete it with ds. Or if I left some work that ds just needed to complete or might need a little help on, dh would make sure it was done.

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I do the homeschooling & the vast majority of household and daily garden chores (with the kids pitching in).  Like several upthread, we treat it as my career.  Husband works an intense job and travels a good deal: he bankrolls, listens, does dishes most nights, is a great dad, hikes with the boys & his mother on Saturdays (and works hard to be home for that) and for the past year did the grocery shopping on Sat. mornings though I'm probably going to do the shopping Friday afternoons this year.  He also gives extra help where needed and does a lot of home repair/maintenance himself, and he's very tolerant of the demands homeschooling makes: the house is never neat for long (hoping to improve that!), my budgeting isn't as good as it ought to be b/c of time constraints, &c. 

He has offered to tutor elder DS in math, 'cause elder DS can be quite difficult to teach esp. in math, but his schedule is too irregular. 

ETA: he brushes the dog out, too.  🙂 

Edited by serendipitous journey

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9 hours ago, Ellie said:

Mr. Ellie works 40+ hours a week so that I can stay home. And because he's gone that many hours a week, of course I do most of the formal instruction. He happily participated in our weekend-long field trips, such as the time we went to all 21 California missions...in a week...and he was a band parent on trips when dds were in marching band. He also never complained if we were out for the day and dinner was iffy, or there were always art projects on the kitchen table.

Ahh....  Just wanted to say:  I grew up in California, and visiting the California missions was a big part of my growing up years!  Both through school field trips and also through family outings.  Fond memories!

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I do it all and have free reign.  Sometimes I ask him for an opinion and about 1/4 of the time I take it.  🙂.  The rest of the time, I go with my own gut.  

He works hard at his job and supports me, even when I ignore his opinion.  I’m very grateful for that!  

We tried a number of times having him teach a class, but he would drop the ball each time.  At first it miffed me, but now I just accept it and do it myself without expecting him to do any of it.  And that’s fine.  I like to be in control of all the decisions.  

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He plays a supportive role in homeschooling. He loves to advertise homeschooling. He’ll give a quick lesson if one if he kids asks him a lesson and there’s some projects that I save for him. He’ll listen to me when I need to vent or make a decision on curriculum or envision long term plans. Middle son is his clone and my opposite in learning style and personality, so I bounce thoughts and ideas off him to try to meet middle’s needs. He is not usually involved in the day to day though. 

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9 hours ago, J-rap said:

Ahh....  Just wanted to say:  I grew up in California, and visiting the California missions was a big part of my growing up years!  Both through school field trips and also through family outings.  Fond memories!

I learned to swim at San Luis Rey! Yes many find memories there.  

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Homeschooling is my full time day job. His day job is something else. In theory, we split the housework, errands, and driving the kid everywhere in the evenings and weekends.

We did try him teaching one subject that he has expertise in and I do not, but he and DD clashed horribly as teacher/student. He does sometimes pitch in as parent-tutor, same as any parent of a schoolkid would if their kid needed help with homework for topics he has more knowledge in.

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I handle everything homeschool related. I do all the housework and bill paying and errand running.

Dh does the yard work and some of the car maintenance. He works outside the home (long, unpredictable hours). He quietly supports all my choices and doesn't complain when I change plans and have to repurchase curriculum.  He also doesn't complain when I forget to wash clothes and he has no clean underwear. 

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DH runs his own business from home but is gone frequently based on job scheduling so he's in and out of the house sporadically throughout the day. Like many others, this is a full time job for me along with housework, laundry, cooking, ect. I often ask DH questions (during our parent time after the children go to bed) about things like how he learned things best in school when we hit a spot where I'm not sure if DS is truely struggling or just pushing boundaries as children sometimes do. DH fully funds/supports us so I do everything I can to save him money in appreciation. He leaves daily instruction and curriculum planning to me but knows how to follow my "master daily lesson spreadsheet" to know which lessons are to be taught on a given day if needed (such as if I'm sick or baby has Dr appt.) We often include him in science experiments during family time and most field trips. DH also takes the reigns for all sports, hunting, outdoor, and "learning to use tools to build stuff" type activities. He often tells friends that homeschooling really isn't as hard as people would have you believe, but it is a decision you make and fully commit to. DH calls me the teacher and himself the principal of our homeschool! 😂

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On the school side: At the very beginning of homeschooling 6 years ago, we made a master plan together of goals and most of the programs we wanted to use/thought would work well for us; all subject to change, but it's been a guideline that I follow. If I'm changing something big that he had a part in planning, I'll discuss it with him.  I basically am allowed to choose whatever programs I want to use, but I'll ask him for his take if I'm having trouble deciding.  He does research about education techniques and other pertinent things and is almost always game to talk about the kids and their development.

Once or twice a week he will have an unplanned session with the kids (1-3 hours, his own topic, not on my regular list of schoolwork). I consider these floating lessons, when it happens it happens, kids have a notebook just for his stuff. He usually gives them an assignment which I usually oversee in the next couple days. If he walks by while I'm teaching and has something to add, he'll chime in and stay with us for 5-10 minutes, then move on. 

He talks with kids during the day if someone is having a bad mood, will take them aside and work through negative emotions and get them to a better place or help them if the meltdown was related to a specific part of their work, especially if I am trying to work with other kids on their lessons. 

On the house side: Kids and I handle all housework and yardwork, and I do all of the bills/paperwork of a running household. If I need help with heavy lifting he is there. He kills bugs and other things that I'm either too scared or too grossed out to do, which I super appreciate. He does his own laundry, but otherwise is exempt from keeping house; he may do dishes once a week if the kids aren't home, but I don't expect it. Once a quarter he'll do a huge dinner which takes most of the day.  

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DD6 is starting 1st grade in about a week. 

My DH works weekends so he is home during the week. 

I will be doing school with her on Mondays so he can sleep in and rest. Tuesday he does school and spends the day with her. I rest and do other things. Wednesday and Thursday we will split the schooling. Friday he goes to work and I will do school. 

He is creative and I am analytical and the subjects get divided accordingly. Sometimes she understands it better from him and sometimes from me. 

Homeschooling was my idea in the beginning but he got on board quickly. I did the research and mostly pick the curriculum. I talk to him about it though.  He did take a stand on her math for this year. So we are doing BA2A. The comic style is weird to me but they both like it. 

He helps out around the house when necessary.  Most of the time its me and that is what we agreed too.

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DH has done all the reading at night from the beginning - so basically the entire history curriculum K-12 that I hand to him to read. Even into the teen years.  He and my younger boy just finished Guns, Germs, and Steel. 

He has also been in charge of all Trio/Quartet/String Orchestra organization, printing of sheet music, rehearsal organization, driving etc because it happens on Saturdays when I tutor from 9-4.

He also does all the cooking (I pick recipes and shop) and does all the odd errands as he works in the city and can walk to the shops.

And he makes the $$!!

Ruth in NZ

 

Edited by lewelma
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Dh is a huge emotional support, he's a homeschooling cheerleader and tells me often that he's proud of the job I'm doing. He keeps me on track when we've been slack, contributes ideas and is a confident, involved parent which is super helpful in setting the household tone that allows homeschooling to work.

He works weird shifts so our lives are fairly chaotic. He doesn't teach them any subjects but he is a natural 'teach by doing' kind of person so the kids learn a lot just by hanging around while he's working on something. He gets them to help out a lot. We are currently owner building our house so he's super busy and the kids are learning a lot!

He is the breadwinner and since he works in town (we are rural) does 99% of the grocery shopping and in-town errands. He doesn't begrudge me spending anything on school stuff, he'll always tell me that school books are a priority so if I need it, just get it (I take care of the money/budget so I'm the one who agonizes over expensive stuff!)

I do all the cooking and cleaning (hahaha, my standards are... low), though the kids help a lot now. I make all the homeschooling decisions, though he has good insights and is very helpful to discuss things through with. 

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I do all the homeschooling and cleaning.  DH works full-time plus does some consulting.  He does bills/banking, cooking, grocery shopping, and anything auto-related.  I do most other errands, yard-work, and home maintenance.  I also do some behind-the-scenes work for our consulting business.  Of course we support each other, occasionally dipping into the other's domain when one person has a too-full plate or if one of us sick, etc.  We never sat down and hashed out a division of labor.  It has just developed this way based on our talents, preferences, and time.

Edited by Syllieann
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On 9/4/2019 at 5:38 AM, 8FillTheHeart said:

Actual direct involvement in teaching, course selection, materials? Nothing. But in making our homeschooling lifestyle work? Everything.

He makes the $$. 🙂 He runs by the store on his way home from work. He was 100% responsible for our boys BSA activities ( he took them to their meetings, was a leader so  went on all their hikes/campouts, etc. He picks up my slack on the rough days ( folds the laundry, picks up take-out, deals with the kids when he gets home (this last one isnt an issue anymore, but when we had 5 kids 9 and under....that was a biggie.)

He is our homeschool's strongest supporter. He believes in me, our choices, and our lifestyle. When we first started, he was skeptical bc we had never even heard of homeschooling before. 

That is huge in the world of support.

 

 

All of this to a T. 

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My DH does the earning. He is a big believer in homeschooling and that it's right for our family and very supportive.

He doesn't do any formal homeschooling (or cooking or cleaning or driving*) but he works with youngest on his projects - teaching related to astro and aero topics, helping with coding issues, etc. 

* he does help out with house things occasionally and is perfectly fine with picking up food if cooking isn't on my plan... and he does some driving, when he isnt working/traveling 

Edited by theelfqueen
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Wow, I think we all have very supportive husbands.

My husband works full time, bankrolls everything and does not complain about school costs.  He got to work early and is home around 3.  I'm usually finishing school when he comes home and he gets to supervise outside play time or,  if inclement weather, garage play time so I can have an hour of peace.

I do the housecleaning, laundry, cooking and make him lunch to take to work every day.  He does dishes when he is home and he will help me when he sees me in a big job, like yesterday he helped me fold a mountain of laundry.  He does all the outdoor work and cars and house projects.  He also picks up groceries on his way home and today is meeting to take younger kids while I take older to doc appt.  He is a very helpful person.

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When my kid says we're homeschooling full time, I did all the selection, planning and execution.  He supported us in it all.

Then, my kids went to public school for two years.  My youngest started this year at high school but asked to homeschool.  I work part-time now, but we were able to work out with the school for her to attend some classes there and some at home.  Now, my husband is pitching in with shopping and cleaning (but so are the kids as they are older anyway!).  And he is helping with math (mostly, and yay!).

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DH pays for everything, cooks meals, takes care of the yard and cars, and whatever I ask.  He has no clue how much he makes, or how much money I spend on curriculum.  AFA homeschool, he has occasionally taught Bible, he takes the kids to sports or music, and completes projects with them.  For example, the kids and he constructed and hung a bat house.  Another time, DD designed a swing set, so he sat down with her and developed a parts list.  They went to the store together to pick out wood, lag bolts, and swing parts, and then spent an afternoon building it.  DD tightened every lag bolt that she could reach. He’s game to pretty much whatever we can think up.

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