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Hoppityhop

Homeschooling and housework?! Oh my

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I have a major major problem and I really would appreciate advice.

The problem consists of me coordinating housework and homeschooling.

I have 2 girls, and one messy husband (although he is trying). One is 18, senior, homeschools herself, dancing, volunteering and studying out of the house the rest of the time. She is always stressed and does not help. The other one is 6, and every morning at 10-11 demands project time, which is great, excerpt ... am not ready.

Ill try to type my daily schedule starting in the evening: 

1. we live on a farm, so animals are fed around 6, dinner made around 7, my husband comes around 8 and wants to watch a movie. I go to bed around 11. I put one set of laundry to wash, clean after dinner, prep lunch for next day, fill dishwasher and  take a shower, speed clean up, and in bed by 11.

I get up in the morning the next day around 8 am - I do need more sleep than regular people: feed the animals, put another laundry in, do other chores (garbage, etc) make breakfast, check email, and if I am lucky rad a book for 15 minutes (I am usually not lucky, and I do need time for myself, otherwise I seem to fall apart if I don't get it daily.

 

By the time breakfast is finished it is 10.30, I have to empty a dishwasher, a pile of dishes to put in the dishwasher, the beds are not made yet, the sinks and toilet needs washing. I look around my house in horror, and slowly slip into depression. But the time that is done, it will be 1230.  Then there is other things every day that better be done soon: garden work, bill paying, fixing something, vacuuming, grocery shopping.

I am a bit perfectionist and it is extremely hard for me to homeschool when the house is messy. Homeschooling my daughter is the most important job for me, but because I see all the other housework pile up I am close to a breakdown, and when mama is not happy.... nobody is. I thoroughly clean the house on Fridays, but there is always a lot to do.  I want to try my best, but need advice. 

I just looked at could of homeschooling moms daily schedule and I attached it below, and I am wondering when do they/ when do you do house work?

Thank you !!!

 

 

 

 

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Daily rhythm.jpg

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Here is my weekly schedule 

at the moment I have 3 children living at home. 8 year old twin boys and ds15. I homeschool all of them

 my daily scheduled at the moment

get up 6 am  go for 5 km, 60 minute walk

7am  shower, put a load of laundry on, make my bed, put away laundry folded the evening before  and a 5 minute tidy of the lounge-room - DH does the twins breakfast and unloads the dishwasher

8 am - to 10.30ish am  start twins school work - as they  both have many disabilities I need to be seated with them when they do their schoolwork. they do a total of 12 different workbooks that completely cover every aspect of core subjects. they also do 10 minutes of reading eggs and some exercises left by the OT. 

10.45am - twins morning tea and outside to play. I hang laundry outside, run the vacuum cleaner ever second day through main living areas and some days put on next load of laundry

11 am do 30 minutes of gardening - we have a tennis court sized veggie garden

11.30 - 12.30 am  prepare twins and my lunch and supervise them eating, tidy kitchen

12.30 twins go to their room with an audio book for a compulsory 1 hour rest time- they are free to play in their room during this time. I hang out last load of laundry and start ds15 schoolwork - as he has dyslexia I need to assist him in every subject. 

1.30 - onward 2 days a week ds15 works  .  on those days twins do afternoon schoolwork of either history or science. the other 3 days a week the twins go and do outside stuff with Dh while I continue to homeschool ds15.

 4 PM twins have 60 minutes of cartoon time. I do my evening chores  - bring in washing, fill woodbox, collect veggies form garden for tea, lock up geese.

5 pm I start cooking tea ,and while it is cooking fold up laundry.

 5.45 tea time

6.45 start helping the twins get ready for bed . DH loads the dishwasher and I hand-wash the pots.

twins in bed 7 pm and have a story read to them by me.

 7.30 pm - I do my relaxing computer time - read emails- watch some gardening or home school youtube stuff, hang out on WTM forum etc

sometime between  9 - 10 pm  My bed time

5 days a fortnight we have different therapists coming to the house to work with the twins.

every Saturday I drive 100 km each way for the twins to have intensive therapeutic swimming lessons and do the weekly shopping while at the bigger town. It is a 5 hour round trip and I am completely knackered afterwards so don't accomplish much else

every Sunday is outside jobs day. I start gardening at 8 am and finish at 3 pm this includes making compost, flower and vegetable gardening etc.. then do the main housework including mopping the floor and changing bed linen etc.

 

 

Edited by Melissa in Australia
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My kids are 3, 6, 8 and 10.  All are homeschooled and the oldest three are boys who all struggle with mental health and neurodevelopmental challenges.

I get up between 5 and 5:30.  Shower, tidy my bedroom and bathroom.  Boys are waking and reading in their rooms.  I head downstairs to start breakfast and a load of laundry.

My oldest two come down at 6:30 to do one independent school subject before breakfast.  Breakfast for all at 7 while we do a morning basket of sorts.

Breakfast is done and tidied, the dishwasher is emptied, and teeth are brushed by 8ish.  8 to 10:30ish is school time.  I rotate around guiding, teaching, supervising, etc.  I also slip in quick chores like switching/folding laundry, prepping veggies for dinner, loading dishes into the dishwasher, sorting a pile of clutter, etc - pretty much anything I can do on the main floor while still interacting with and keeping an eye on the kids.

At 10:30ish we have a snack and get in the car to go to an extracurricular: speech therapy, art, Spanish, rock climbing, chess and book clubs.  We get home around 12:30 and have lunch (often while watching a show).

After lunch I get the littlest down for her nap while the boys clear the table.  Then we all work on chores for 20 minutes.  This is when we clean bathrooms, vacuum, mop, change and wash sheets, tidy the van, etc.  Four people working for 20 minutes gets quite a bit done...even if three of the people are kids.

By then it is 2ish and the boys have free time until dinner.  The preschooler wakes around 2:30 and we might go to the park or run an errand.  I aim to have dinner ready around 5 or 5:15.  After dinner we have some family time and then bathes, books and bed.  My 6 and 8 year olds are in bed by 7; my 10 year old (and the 3 year old if she slept during nap) are in bed by 7:30.

DH and I usually spend about 30 minute on chores in the evening.  We finish tidying the kitchen and loading the dishwasher, I might do another load of laundry, we deal with bills and paperwork, etc.  I often send 10 or 15 minutes prepping and tidying the school area.  We then have time to relax before we head up to bed to read for a while around 9pm.

Other chores are tackled over the weekend - grocery shopping, major sorting and deep cleaning, outside chores, etc.

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It looks like 12:30-6 is free for you. I'd homeschool your 6 year old during that time. You should be able to complete her school and get to some of your "to do" list during that time each day.

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Maybe just a small change could help?
Everyone in our house works on chores about the same time.  I mean, beds are made before coming down stairs.  It's the first thing done: Get up, make your bed.  That's the first habit we work on in the morning.
Then after breakfast, working for a few minutes is non-negotiable.  The first to the kitchen with their plate starts to help with the dishwasher.  I have it set up that two people can do it together without running into each other: one person puts away dishes on their side (glasses, lunch containers, baking dishes) while the other works on the other side (tableware, pots).  Everyone tidies their room and bathroom.  I throw laundry in, do a quick swish with the toilet brush, wipe down the counters, and get dressed.  At lunch I'll switch the laundry, and the afternoon has me (or dh) folding it.  3pm we tidy up after school. 7pm we do a bedtime tidy.  The rest of it happens during our day: at lunch I wipe down the kitchen & start the dishwasher if needed.  Dinner - whoever is cooking tidies as they go along and we wipe down the kitchen after dinner.  The 9yo wipes down the table and sweeps under.  One of the rest of us sweeps the kitchen while someone else takes care of the daily compost.  The 7pm tidy is simple - everyone picks up what they brought down/took off.  On the weekend, when we have more time, I run the vacuum over the area rugs, dust, and scrub down bathrooms.  The two "kids"  take turns sweeping the upstairs hallway and down the stairs, one does it on Monday and one does it on Thursday.  The 9yo is responsible for collecting trash from all the cans except the 20y's bathroom and bedroom on trash day.  The house runs pretty well.  It's almost never perfect but it is comfortable and not-cluttered feeling.

But, you can start with two simple things to make your day easier:
-require everyone to make their own beds. 
-Everyone works for a certain amount of time.  Especially the 18yo.  If she ends up living in a dorm or has roommates, they will be glad she has these two habits in place.  If she's stressed, tidying her environment is calming.

Right there you're establishing good habits and telling them they're part of the house community, too.  From that point you can tweak and add.

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IMO your 18yo needs chores, whether she wants them or not.

Your 6yo's project time could include housework related stuff.  Cooking, gardening, etc.  She should also be required to clean up after herself when she is done.  She should be learning to make her bed if that is important to you.

I know you said you are a perfectionist, but some of those daily chores could be weekly or even less frequent.  I have learned how to "not see" certain things where it improves the peace in the house.  Maybe you could try to "not see" some of the things that most people don't clean every single day.

As for your chart, when Mom's housework gets done is probably when the kids are having outdoor time.

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Another thought - instead of your thorough cleaning on Friday, why not do it Sunday night or Monday morning, so that you start the school week with a fresh, clean house?

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I'll be totally honest with you and tell you that I don't clean or do dishes. My teenagers do it and whatever they don't do doesn't get done. They are busy with school and work and speech/debate and church youth group and drama club and whatever but they live here too and they will be adults on their own soon and everybody has to pitch in and help. So I'd make your 18 year old contribute. I realize you only have 1 teenager and I have 3 so your DD can't do it all, but she can certainly help.

I also think you have to relax your standards a bit. My sinks and toilets get cleaned once a week, not once a day, and nobody has died yet 😉 I have so many hours a day and I have chosen to focus those on being a mom to my littles, educating them all to the best of my ability, making sure everybody has clean clothes, making sure we have relatively healthy food on hand, and cooking a nutritious supper that we all enjoy together as a family. The other stuff is either delegated or doesn't happen. 

You can't prioritize everything - by definition making priorities means some things will get done no matter what and other things might not and other things for sure will not. Your priorities may look different from mine, and that's ok, and they may fluctuate depending on what season of life you're in, but you can't do all the things all the time.

If you want to make cleaning a priority, maybe you could make breakfast take less time in the morning and have more time to clean before 10:30? That way you could begin school with your 6 year old after lunch with a serene clean environment.

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I struggle too!  

My best ideas: 

Figure out everything you can delegate to a dd and delegate it: garbage, dishes, some laundry...  maybe animal feeding?   teach them how to do these things.  It’s as important as most of academics, imo, more important probably than most academics. 

How about actively do chores/cleaning  to music 8-9am for you and both daughters.   So that each day has a pretty clean start to it, then again for 1/2 hour sometime in the middle, and again before bed at least a 15 minute pick up and put away stuff time? 

Anyone eating has to help cook and clean up?

Six is old enough to learn to load dishwasher, I think.  We don’t have one, so I don’t know for sure. 

Maybe 18 yo needs to cut back dance and/or volunteering to help out at home.  Why is she so stressed?  Maybe too much on her plate, and less outside, would mean more time to help you so that you’d both be less stressed. 

More maybe family together time needs to be at least half devoted to clean up.  Or something that encourages group clean up with a fun reward activity.

Maybe

“project time” 

is listening to audiobook fiction or  poetry while learning how to clean a toilet.  

Edited by Pen
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Btw:  I can totally relate!  Constantly feel stress of mess.  

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I'd figure out what everybody can do.  Everybody is responsible for their own room here.  Everybody has some daily jobs that are mostly theirs - loading or unloading dishes, taking out trash, etc.  We help each other out if somebody is busy, but generally expect the main person to do it.  Then there are jobs that people can do when I request it - I do most of the laundry, but I can ask anybody to move a load from washer to dryer, or get a load from dryer to the basket and bring it to be sorted.  Sometimes I put the basket of clean clothes in the living room and tell everybody to grab their own underwear and socks. 

I do more housework than anybody and make sure that my kids have plenty of play and extracurricular time, but I will sometimes say that everybody isn't going to be having fun or sitting around while I work.  If everybody puts in 15 or 30 minutes, that an hour or 2 of man-hours -we can do a lot in that time.  Dusting and dry-mopping are both little kid friendly.  My kids do the counters in their bathroom.  It's not perfect, but it's good enough.  

Due to ball schedules, we don't have a set chore routine.  We have school at around the same time every day and chores may get done before, after, or on the weekend.  My family also accepts a certain level of imperfect - my house is no where near as tidy as it was pre-kid and especially pre-homeschool.  I keep everything clean, but I only fight to keep some spaces as tidy as I like them - I can't do school and cleaning and volunteer and shuttle kids around and teach...and as a family we think that having a super-tidy house is least important.  My bedroom is school-free and the dining room is clutter-free and the living room has no school stuff on the coffee table...and that's as good as it's going to get right now at my house.  

Good luck - it's a struggle to find the balance that will work for you.  

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What are you doing between 12:30pm and 6pm? Homeschooling a 6 year old should not take more than 2 hours a day. If I were you, I would do housework right after breakfast. If it takes until 12:30pm to get the house straightened up have lunch when you are done. After lunch you have a clean house so now you can do school and have project time without the mess stressing you out. Do school and have project time from 1pm until 3pm. That leaves three hours in the afternoon for the other things you need to get done.

I do all of my housecleaning on Sundays. The only thing I do during the week is laundry, dishes, and trash removal. I am homeschooling a 16yo, 11yo, and 8yo and babysitting my 2yo grandson as well as picking up my 8yo granddaughter from school and babysitting her after school. So between all that and driving my college age daughter to school there is no time for housework during the week. I use Instacart for groceries and other errands I do on Saturdays. 

Susan in TX 

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I do all the daily maintenance housework throughout the day. When my 7yo is sitting at the kitchen table doing schoolwork I can clean counters and sweep after getting him started. When my toddler is in the bath I can scrub the floor and walls and tidy in there. 

Your 6yo can be doing chores as well. My 7yo often handles the dishes, weeding, vacuuming, sweeping, windows, folding towels. He will sometimes help cook and make simple lunches or snacks for everyone. My 4yo can clean tabletops, dust, scrub walls and cupboards. He requires a lot more assistance though.

If I get behind on the heavier cleaning I'll use weekend time, get up early one day, or cut back on teacher intensive schoolwork a little.

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In the schedule you posted, I suspect mama is cleaning before the kids start at 7 and during quiet time.

I need a lot of sleep also, but going to bed earlier works better than getting up later for me because DS is an early morning person--if we didn't have a firm starting time in the morning, IDK how we'd get much done (although we probably only schooled an hour a day when he was 6). I have found I have to delay checking email and reading until later in the day, or I get sucked in.

Your routine does not need to look the same every day of the week, so you might look for tasks that can be demoted from daily to twice a week.

ETA: In my area, essential gardening can't reliably be done in the afternoon because of the frequent thunderstorms, so we would move that to before school, but with a time limit.

Edited by whitehawk
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On 8/29/2019 at 1:39 AM, Hoppityhop said:

...The problem consists of me coordinating housework and homeschooling...


Welcome! I see by your post count you are new. And... (((hugs))) That is super hard for all homeschoolers. Harder still for those living in a rural area (no help nearby) and with the additional burden of farm animals.

Your situation is very different from mine (no farm/animals, 2 children close in age, firefighter husband who worked 24-hour shifts), so what we did may not help you, but from the time DSs were babies until the younger DS was about 7yo, I paid a lady to come in twice a month for 4 hours each time and deep clean. After we no longer needed the cleaning help, our routine was:

- everyone responsible for making own bed, straightening up room, and getting breakfast dishes into the machine
- I cooked dinner (and shopped for the food), so after dinner, DH and DSs washed dishes, wiped down stove and counters, and took out garbage/recycling
- Saturday mornings were cleaning day for the entire family; in addition to everyone cleaning their own room, each person was responsible for cleaning another room or area of the house
- before leaving the house for errands, everyone had to sweep through the house and do a quick pick-up of the communal rooms
- on school days, at the end of the day, DSs were responsible to stack all their work back into their plastic crate and carry it to the laundry room

On 8/29/2019 at 1:39 AM, Hoppityhop said:

... I have 2 girls, and one messy husband (although he is trying). One is 18, senior, homeschools herself, dancing, volunteering and studying out of the house the rest of the time. She is always stressed and does not help. ...


While I totally understand that an 18yo senior who is self-studying/homeschooling and on the brink of launching out on her own is very busy, this is not a balanced life for you OR for her. She is receiving all the benefits of living under your roof (meals made, expenses paid, chores done for her), and not contributing in any way. That would be my personal priority right now before you all really get rolling into your school year, is to sit down with her and work out a plan of what is reasonable for her to be responsible for. I would suggest the following as very reasonable:

- after meals she helps clean up the kitchen along with everyone else (except the cook) -- 10 min. daily
- she does her own laundry (clothes, towels, sheets) -- can be done at any odd time she wants; about 20 min. once a week of actual work (folding/making bed)
- she deep cleans a bathroom once a week -- probably less fuss if it is when everyone else is doing weekly deep cleaning; maybe 30-60 minutes per week
- and she cooks a family meal once a week -- her choice of night; 2 hours once per week

All together, that's a grand total of 4-4.5 hours of work spread out over 7 days. And those chores are all ones that she will need to know how to do regularly for when she is out and living on her own. If she is too stressed to help out at home, then perhaps she needs to cut out the outside-the-home activities of dancing. Or the home chores need to happen first before she walks out the door for outside commitments -- it's amazing how teens can suddenly find time to get chores done if the car keys are tied to finished chores (LOL). And, JMO, but a person's first place for "volunteering" needs to be for the people you live with and who financially and emotionally support you -- i.e., contribute weekly time/energy toward your household peeps first before helping those outside the home. JMO!

On 8/29/2019 at 1:39 AM, Hoppityhop said:

... my daily schedule...
... I get up in the morning the next day around 8 am... feed the animals, put another laundry in, do other chores (garbage, etc) make breakfast, check email, and if I am lucky rad a book for 15 minutes (I am usually not lucky, and I do need time for myself, otherwise I seem to fall apart if I don't get it daily.

By the time breakfast is finished it is 10.30, I have to empty a dishwasher, a pile of dishes to put in the dishwasher, the beds are not made yet, the sinks and toilet needs washing. I look around my house in horror, and slowly slip into depression. But the time that is done, it will be 1230.  Then there is other things every day that better be done soon: garden work, bill paying, fixing something, vacuuming, grocery shopping.

I am a bit perfectionist and it is extremely hard for me to homeschool when the house is messy. Homeschooling my daughter is the most important job for me, but because I see all the other housework pile up I am close to a breakdown, and when mama is not happy.... nobody is. I thoroughly clean the house on Fridays, but there is always a lot to do.  I want to try my best, but need advice. 


Uh... Why are you the maid for everyone else? There is no reason everyone else can't pitch in with some very basic daily help that takes no more than 10 minutes a day.

Everyone is using dishes. So everyone rinses off their own dishes and puts them in the dishwasher. Even a 4yo could be responsible for their own dishes. It should NOT all fall on one person. And if you cooked dinner, then everyone ELSE who ate dinner scrubs the pots and wipes the counters and takes out the garbage -- takes 10 minutes MAX when they all pull together. Again, if you cooked, the clean-up after should NOT also fall on you.

Beds -- everyone makes their own as soon as they get up. Train people now. Call them back to their room to do it. And if someone left the house without doing it, close the doors to the bedroom so you don't see any mess. It's on them. And next time someone starts to leave the house, call them back in, walk them to the bedroom and check with them that the bed is made and their dishes are in the dishwasher. "But mom, I'll be late!" "Gee honey, I can see this is making you stressed out. For the future: what do you think you could do differently so that your chores get done before you leave AND you get to your activity on time?"

Sinks and toilets can get by with a once a week deep cleaning. If you need more frequent sink cleaning, train people to wipe down sinks after every use. Provide the needed supplies right there: a roll of papertowels and a wastebasket, or cloth right at each sink and a hook under the sink to store it/drip dry. Call them back to do it when they forget. Remember, they live in this house, it is also their responsibility to keep a minimum level of cleanliness. 

Bill paying -- put yourself on a schedule where you sit down 2x/month on XXXX day of the week at XXX time and pay bills. Done in 15 minutes each time. Move on and reward yourself with 15 minutes of book reading.

Younger children can help with gardening, and it can be a family bonding opportunity. For example, since 6yo wants "project time", leverage that -- let her know that you can only help her with her project time after she has helped you -- i.e. morning chores are done (she makes her bed, got dishes in the machine, wiped the sink, and spent 20 minutes gardening with you). Then you both will feel accomplishment and both be ready for enjoying a project together.

Since personal time is a MUST for you to recharge, then schedule it -- the 30-60 minutes after lunch each day, everyone is quiet in their own room for recharging. Older DD can work on school if she wants to. Younger DD can listen to audio books, or do quiet solo play, or some school work that is easily done solo.

Yes, it is hard work at first to train family into doing chores. Make that your primary job for the next month every.single.day. After that, it is the new habit for everyone, and you will have a reduced stress level.

On 8/29/2019 at 1:39 AM, Hoppityhop said:

...I am a bit perfectionist and it is extremely hard for me to homeschool when the house is messy. Homeschooling my daughter is the most important job for me, but because I see all the other housework pile up I am close to a breakdown, and when mama is not happy.... nobody is. I thoroughly clean the house on Fridays, but there is always a lot to do.  I want to try my best, but need advice. 


This is the part where you have to let go a bit -- if the sinks are wiped out, that's good enough for sanitariness, and then during the once-a-week family cleaning day sinks get a deep clean. Some things like vaccuuming/dusting or toilet cleaning don't need to happen every day. Seriously, you all will NOT die if those things only happen once a week. Or, if there is dirt dragged in a lot, then make vaccuming the 6yo's job while you are making dinner. Everyone pulling their weight and contributing for the good of all. 😉

Just get the basics of cleanliness done each morning (everyone making own bed and cleaning up after self after breakfast), and then get on with your most important job of homeschooling -- have a daily morning meeting with 18yo to see what she needs, then knock out 6yo's school work before lunch. Eat lunch, have an after-lunch solo/recharge time, and then finish up with 18yo's school work, do any errands/make dinner. From dinner onward YOU are off the clock for work -- family cleans up after dinner. You all have time after dinner for family game night, a read-aloud, a movie, or solo recharging. Go to bed by 10pm, get a good night's rest.

I would recommend talking with your family at the outset and telling them that you are going under and need help, and explain that the chores need to be shared to help you.

SO sorry you are feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I know from personally experience that it is very hard to implement change when feeling like that, but once you get everyone else sharing the load and get that daily recharge time, you will start feeling better soon. Wishing you all the BEST, and hope you can quickly find a good balance. Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited by Lori D.
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One, you need to get your thyroid checked. Needing excessive sleep and struggling with depression are symptoms. Two, your dh should care for the animals and do the dishwashers. If he wants them, he can feed them. Three, bring your art into your school day.

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My cleaning time is from 3-5 ish.  I don't clean that entire time, but that is my break time of no school and no dinner prep, so I decide what to clean or do.  The kids usually play, but we do have a 30 minute cleaning time a few times per week (everyone cleans until I say we are done).  On Fridays I like to get the entire house vacuumed and cleaned, school all picked up, ready for the weekend.  My kids all help.  

 

For your 18 year old- she should be doing all her own laundry (my 14 and 16 year old do, and have since about 12).  She should also be helping clean through the week.  

 

My day looks kinda like this - up, breakfast, maybe toss in a load of laundry, get baby ready for the day, and school starts by 830.  Trying for 8 on days I'm extra busy.  That 830 is a hard start time- whatever is left gets left and school must start. (Note kids get up and do animal chores before breakfast and school).  They are required to be dressed and fed by 830.

 

830- 12 is school.  I have 3 grades going on, plus a baby and a college kid who sometimes needs me to proofread.  I do not stop this entire time.  I do not answer the phone, do laundry or anything else.  Lunch varies from 1130- 1230 depending on how school goes.  I can switch laundry if needed.

100, baby naptime, olders independent school work.  Everyone quiet!  

300, snack, play time for kids, I do any project, clean or school plan until 5.

5- 6 dinner prep.  Dinner is done by 630ish.  Big girls clean up, i give littles a bath.  Kids tend to watch a show around this time.  

830, younger kids in bed, I nurse baby, big kids can stay up a bit later.  

900- hopefully all littles are asleep, I get to spend about 2 hours reading or watching tv with hubby.  Sometimes this is reading school books and planning.  

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I went back to read my post from earlier and realized I posted half a post and never edited, I was waiting on a student to show up and then had to get off in a hurry 🙂

I don't know that my schedule will be of particular help, I don't have a lot of time for housework while schooling because I teach 3 hours every morning and have 3 kids to homeschool.

The thing is our schedules flex and change as the kids get older, they have more school and outside activities but they can also help more, so it is a constant shifting. 

The key thing is to train the children (and husband) to help, within their level of ability. You will have more time when they are younger and they are more eager then anyways so it is better to start expecting it from the start. 

My kids all keep their own rooms clean, I just help the youngest, who is 6 with organization every few months or so. They all work on straightening up the great room, take turns with unloading the dishwasher, trash, and bathrooms. I clean the kitchen. The oldest 3 also cook, the girls do breakfast and dinner and my son just does dinner (he goes to highschool and is not home for breakfast except 2 mornings a week). We do laundry together, the oldest 3 can all do it on their own, and do at times but I don't have them wash their clothes separately. I'd rather they not do partial loads and if they wait to have a full load they will be running out of clothes. Everyone brings their dirty clothes to the washer- whomever is last will start it and they take turns putting it in the washer and dryer. We also take turns sorting clothes depending on who has time. Everyone folds and puts away their own clothes (even the 6 year old). 

I get up early at 5 or 5:30 (after the time change will be 4:30), get ready, get ds off and teach classes online. I finish teaching at 8:30-9 and cannot do anything in that time, I just have a few minutes off between classes.

The girls cook breakfast on Tues and Thurs because we have TKD in the evening and are crunched on time. One morning they will get a quick breakfast, quick oats, cereal, bagels etc and then I cook 2. When they cook they often make pancakes or such that I don't eat and I make my own breakfast, I cook my breakfasts in batches so I don't have to cook every day. The older girls will do some independent work while waiting for me, play with the cats, and ride bikes/walk around.

After breakfast is read aloud time, that is usually at least an hour. We do lit, world cultures and geo, and watch CNN10.

Then I cycle through 1 on 1 time with the girls and group work. Mon-Wed we are schooling until 3 or so. Thursdays we can sometimes finish early. We try to take lunch together around 12:30 or so but that may or may not happen, and I might continue rotating through. 

The girls can get on electronics at 3 if school is finished and chores. On Tuesday and Thursday we have to leave at 4:15 for TKD, so I will cook before we leave, trying to put things on around lunch time and finish up after school. We get home at 6:45-7, then it is dinner, clean up and homework for ds and dh. I'm the homework helper if they get stuck so there is usually not much free time then. Monday nights is Scouts but we don't have to leave until 5:30, the girls cook dinner then so I may or may not have some free time depending on what I have to do to prep. We get home at 7:45-8:15 so by then it is time to get ready for bed. Wednesday we have free so we will have chill time after school, ds will cook supper, and then we will watch a show as a family. Weekends vary, right now they have a time to catch up on housework and school work for dh(college) and ds. Once Scouts get in full swing we have lots of weekends busy and I'll have to find more time to keep up and let more things go. There is only so much time in the day. Ds does varying amount of chores during the week as he is gone from 6:20 am to 4 and then we have evening activities and he has nightly homework.

We all go to bed around 8:30 or 9 as we get up early, ds and dh might be up late sometimes for homework and me too unfortunately for moral support and help but I try to aim for an early bed because sleep is important! I also prioritize exercise and when I have free time here and there will take a walk or bike ride with the girls.

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On 8/29/2019 at 3:39 AM, Hoppityhop said:

my husband comes around 8 and wants to watch a movie. I go to bed around 11.

Did I read this right? He watches a movie on weeknights? Do you watch or are you doing chores at this time?

I know many, many people unwind with a TV show, but an entire movie on a school night? We will sometimes watch an episode of Psych as a family on a weeknight but usually there is no TV the evening before a school day. And, no one is watching if everything isn't cleaned up. That's a rule for weekends, too, actually. That's sometimes when I get some trouble-spots taken care of because everyone is motivated to get it done. 

Even if you are watching, too, I'd either shut this habit down or curtail it (1 hr max after all the cleaning & prepping is done). You could get to bed earlier and earn some extra down time for yourself. That's a lot of wasted time where your DH could be pitching in.

Everyone in my house has morning chores. Dishwasher, wiping down the table or the kitchen, vacuuming, emptying the trash, picking up the floor, putting away books, tidying a bathroom, etc. I used to have to make them age appropriate but now everyone is trained on everything.

My two older teens each had a night to plan & cook dinner once per week. The oldest DD is off at college, so I only have one doing it now. Gradually, the next kid will take a spot. 

Lots of good ideas in this thread for you to pick & choose from. I hope something helps. If you are doing the majority of the work, it is overwhelming.

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I require a lot of sleep. I've come to realize it's not more than just my dh, but more than a lot of people. But I've always been that way. I aim to be asleep by 10:30. If I sleep straight through without waking I can be up by seven. But often I am awake off and on due to me being a light sleeper, so it's closer to eight. I don't start a schedule before eight. It's bonus time when I'm up. 

I also like things clean and don't have a lot of time. I spent a lot of time for a few years following the flylady plan very precisely. That helped me get into the habit of regular decluttering and having set lists in my mind. 

So daily- my morning routine consists of three main things- make bed, clean bathroom, start laundry. We make the bed as soon as we wake. I clean the bathroom while I'm in there the first or second time of the day. A quick wipe if sinks, counters, toilet, and a quick scrub of the toilet keeps it from getting gross. It takes two minutes. I'm in the habit of straightening everytime I go in. Shut the shower curtain. Pick up spare toys, straighten the towels, whatever. I'm in and out all day. If I see something I don't quickly. I keep cleaning materials in there. It's not a big ordeal to spray something and wipe because all I need is there. 

Laundry- I switch washer to dryer, start a new load and fold the one out if the dryer immediately. 

If intgen, the rest of the day, just pick up behind myself, have the kids pick up behind themselves, keep the dishes up (kids are trained to do this...) and maybe do another load sometime in the day things go well. 

I started a chore chart with the five year old as part of her school. It includes make her own bed. She knows to pick up her plate after a meal and I have her pick up her own toys throughout the day. 

We sweep the floors before bed and as needed after messy times throughout the day. Hard floors here. 

I have a list of other main chores that have to get done throughout the week. Trash is done on trash day. I change at least one bed's sheets on Monday, and have the teens change theirs, so my and my five year old's is getting done at least every other week. 

I mop the bathroom and kitchen floor once a week. I haven't settled into the school year to know which day works this semester yet. 

I dust once a week and do glass windows in some part of the house once a week. 

I shop two Thurs a month in paydays. I make the list and menu before that and throw out leftovers... In between set things the fridge might get dirty or the dust might get a little dusty. But if we keep picked up and stick to the routine it's livable. Set days and times help me. 

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