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Another Teen Girls Clothing Question, athletic shorts


moonflower
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So we are having another debate (we settled the jeans one, they fit, they're tighter at the ankle and calf but not super tight on top, all are basically satisfied).

DD14 is in gym this year.  All the girls, I am told, wear shorts like these: https://www.shopjustice.com/logo-knit-dolphin-shorts/prd-15404625#color/643

For us, they are too short.  She is pretty distraught about wearing the shorts she's content to wear at home (longer ones) as she is the only person not wearing shorts with a 2.5" inseam. (she says).

Shorts that short are just not going to happen for us.  Does anyone know of a slightly longer athletic short, maybe 6"? 5"? 7"? that looks not dorky?  Evidently my meter of dorky is broken.  Io proposed pants as an alternative and she is open to maybe wearing them but again, everyone else wears the tiny shorts so she's not super enthused.

Ugh, high school.  We did not have these issues in middle school (same kids!!!!!)

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Those wouldn’t be considered short for XC or track.

They look totally normal to me?

ETA: most of the girls wear these in meets: https://www.runningwarehouse.com/rabbit_Womens_Ready_Lets_Bun_Brief/descpage-WRRLBB.html?from=adwords&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6P_mqJGa5AIViSSGCh0TgAFbEAQYAiABEgLmw_D_BwE

DS runs in 2 inch inseam. 

Edited by MEmama
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I prefer my DD to wear longer shorts. (Not super long...but we don't allow shorts like linked above.) Oldest DD likes these: https://www.academy.com/shop/pdp/bcg-womens-mesh-basketball-shorts#repChildCatid=6563069

They have a 4.5" inseam (for DD they hit fingertips which was a camp requirement this summer). They have pockets, which was a bonus for her. 🙂 And they're very affordable. 

(Maybe look for a basketball short instead of running shorts.)

Edited by alisoncooks
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Those look normal, but for a couple of years my kid liked longer ones and they were really hard to find.  She has some mid-thigh ones that we found at Justice and Penney's a few years ago and I bought them in bigger sizes in case I couldn't find them.  This year she's liked the short ones that somebody gave her as a hand-me-down, so she wears both kinds.  You might have success looking at Umbros or other soccer shorts - they are mostly unisex and seem to come in several lengths.  

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35 minutes ago, moonflower said:

So we are having another debate (we settled the jeans one, they fit, they're tighter at the ankle and calf but not super tight on top, all are basically satisfied).

DD14 is in gym this year.  All the girls, I am told, wear shorts like these: https://www.shopjustice.com/logo-knit-dolphin-shorts/prd-15404625#color/643

For us, they are too short.  She is pretty distraught about wearing the shorts she's content to wear at home (longer ones) as she is the only person not wearing shorts with a 2.5" inseam. (she says).

Shorts that short are just not going to happen for us.  Does anyone know of a slightly longer athletic short, maybe 6"? 5"? 7"? that looks not dorky?  Evidently my meter of dorky is broken.  Io proposed pants as an alternative and she is open to maybe wearing them but again, everyone else wears the tiny shorts so she's not super enthused.

Ugh, high school.  We did not have these issues in middle school (same kids!!!!!)

 

Gymnasts typically wear short, close-cut clothes to facilitate movement and eliminate fly-ups when they tumble. Cheer is the same. The ones you linked would be considered conservative for my DD (but she wears them anyway). Lycra ones are the norm. Like this: https://www.cheerleading.com/poly-spandex-boy-cut-briefs.html?source=googleshopping&category_id=191&CAWELAID=120157280000163271&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=38924072536&CATCI=pla-69009989805&CATARGETID=120157280000170814&cadevice=c&gclid=CjwKCAjwnf7qBRAtEiwAseBO_FXcGtjxo55N2xEEmdFxEOFH5PCyxjmYpzBuHzKCi4HcUQQm4Djr8hoCT4sQAvD_BwE The HS varsity and JV cheerleaders wear these at every practice, so do the volleyball players. The gymnasts wear leos and the track athletes wear the ones posted earlier. Shorter shorts are the norm. Does the school not sell a "gym" uniform?

Edited by Sneezyone
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There are girls here who wear basketball shorts, similar to the ones linked above. I also like the bike shorts under shorts idea. Our younger dd wore bike shorts under the uniform shorts for soccer. The compression was helpful, and she didn't have to be concerned she was flashing anyone when she stretched. I didn't realize until Danae posted that they could be purchased sewn together already but quickly found an example: https://www.amazon.com/RBX-Active-Workout-Running-Compression/dp/B07Q2GVKGS/ref=asc_df_B07Q2GVKGS/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=353296302928&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17006226619464706550&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9024004&hvtargid=pla-781955299900&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=75161381030&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=353296302928&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17006226619464706550&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9024004&hvtargid=pla-781955299900

Edited by iamonlyone
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Those shorts are not tiny. Assuming she’s in high school that would be as modest as anyone’s going to be wearing for gym shorts. Most women wear shorts that length in the summer for running. The female body is nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t know what part of the country you’re in but here for freshman gym they run outside at least a couple of times a week and it’s going to be hot. I would not plan on wearing pants. 

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11 minutes ago, hshibley said:

Those shorts are not tiny. Assuming she’s in high school that would be as modest as anyone’s going to be wearing for gym shorts. Most women wear shorts that length in the summer for running. The female body is nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t know what part of the country you’re in but here for freshman gym they run outside at least a couple of times a week and it’s going to be hot. I would not plan on wearing pants. 

 

Same here. There are few times in our lives, as women, that we feel 100% confident in our bodies. I wrestled with this as DD got older because I am totally INSECURE (she is not) but elected to reinforce DD's confidence rather than superimpose my own fears. No regrets.

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1 hour ago, Frances said:

Those look very similar in length to our required PE uniforms back in the early 1980s. Boys and girls wore identical uniforms, and we also often wore them for track and cross country practice.

Fashion. LOL. They are WAAAYYY longer than some of the skirts my own mother wore in the 70s.

Edited by Sneezyone
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I agree that the shorter inseam is what is typically worn in high school. (It's in the junior high too when I visit younger ds's school.) Stuff like this: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/565764771938955538/

We attend activities that require girls to wear knee length shorts. When they do, they typically adopt a basketball look or wear cut-offs.  My daughter prefers to wear cropped joggers instead....she has this pair: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/760756562036666434/

It is much more common to see girls wearing compression tights than it is to see them wearing bermuda length gym shorts.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/497507090084672801/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/848506386021358283/

Honestly, though, give some serious thought as to whether this is your hill to die on.  In a few years she will be an adult---allowing her to choose her own clothing style is something to discuss and influence, not control by the teen years, imo. 

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Agreed. Anything longer is going to be dorky. 

What is the actual concern with 2.5" inseam shorts? Is it concern over seeing underwear? Is it concern over seeing a part of the leg? If we could narrow down the actual concern, perhaps we could offer solutions. For instance, some of my dd's running shorts (with 2.5" or less inseam) have built in underwear. Two layers provides less risk of seeing undergarments. Another option - wearing thong underwear would make the undergarments virtually invisible. If concern is seeing part of the leg, then compression shorts are probably the answer, but those are likely to put her in outlier territory.

In my experience, dressing like an outlier in high school does far more damage long-term than any 2.5" inseam shorts or tighter jeans could do. 

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OP, why the conflict over clothes? You’ve chosen to place your daughter in an environment, this high school, where the clothing standards are different from yours. 

Even though you’d prefer otherwise, can you find a way to let this go? You’re requiring a standard that’s making your daughter feel awkward in a new environment. First the jeans and now the shorts. Trust me, resentment will build over this, and it isn’t worth it  

I’d find a way to say “yes”, if you could. There will be much bigger issues where  you may need to say “no”.  Save the “no” for those times.

The shorts in your link are typical teenage shorts. 

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Nope, we love Justice, but those shorts would not be happening in my family. 

For athletic shorts, we have always used basketball shorts found on eBay, Amazon, or sporting goods stores. They don't look dorky. They look like basketball shorts. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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4 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

I prefer my DD to wear longer shorts. (Not super long...but we don't allow shorts like linked above.) Oldest DD likes these: https://www.academy.com/shop/pdp/bcg-womens-mesh-basketball-shorts#repChildCatid=6563069

They have a 4.5" inseam (for DD they hit fingertips which was a camp requirement this summer). They have pockets, which was a bonus for her. 🙂 And they're very affordable. 

(Maybe look for a basketball short instead of running shorts.)

 

A lot of the girls and women around here (Texas) wear these shorts. No one looks dorky and no one's butt cheeks are hanging out. 

 

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12 hours ago, MEmama said:

Those wouldn’t be considered short for XC or track.

They look totally normal to me?

ETA: most of the girls wear these in meets: https://www.runningwarehouse.com/rabbit_Womens_Ready_Lets_Bun_Brief/descpage-WRRLBB.html?from=adwords&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6P_mqJGa5AIViSSGCh0TgAFbEAQYAiABEgLmw_D_BwE

DS runs in 2 inch inseam. 

This is for gym class, though, not XC meets. 

I don't think many girls would wear "bun briefs" to gym class in the high schools here. 

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24 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

This is for gym class, though, not XC meets. 

I don't think many girls would wear "bun briefs" to gym class in the high schools here. 

My point is that the ones she linked look totally modest and normal for gym or just everyday, and as has been pointed out, they have for decades. Shorts can be much, much shorter than those and still fit into the realm of “social acceptability”.

Whatever, though. Those are her fights, not mine. 🙂

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9 minutes ago, MEmama said:

My point is that the ones she linked look totally modest and normal for gym or just everyday, and as has been pointed out, they have for decades. Shorts can be much, much shorter than those and still fit into the realm of “social acceptability”.

Whatever, though. Those are her fights, not mine. 🙂

And my point is what is "social acceptability" for an optional sport that girls choose to participate in is not the same as for a mandatory gym class. 

 By the same token, what athletes can wear to practice in is also different from what they can wear to compete. You can be disqualified in meets for not adhering to requirements. 

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Nike athletic shorts are the norm here.  My dd owns several pairs of these:

https://www.academy.com/shop/pdp/nike-womens-dry-tempo-shorts#repChildCatSku=109502400

They have a built-in panty, which helps them hang longer than they are.  The in-seam is technically 3", but with the panty, they sit a bit low and appear longer.  I encourage you to take your dd to Academy or somewhere similar and try these on.  You'll be surprised!

Also, some of them come with built-in bike shorts, making them even longer but still trendy.

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12 hours ago, moonflower said:

We ended up with these: https://www.amazon.com/adidas-Womens-Soccer-Tastigo-Shorts/dp/B01HO5A7GK/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=soccer%2Bshorts%2Bwomen&qid=1566603875&s=apparel&sr=1-5&th=1

5" inseam, still pretty normal looking, DD says they're fine and seems content.  

 

I’m glad you found a middle ground. 

I’m sure it’s hard to figure out what battles to choose at this point. I won’t assume you’re making a big deal over every little thing with your dd. I’ve come to the hive before and asked whether something was worth the fight before and my kids never knew I was bothered. 

Its good to be able to say “those shorts are a little shorter than I’d prefer for you. But let me think about that and maybe we can come to a solution that satisfies both you and me.” 

And then you go online and ask the questions and get other perspectives.

good for you for actually asking for thoughts without just shutting your dd down. I know from experience that parents who aren’t willing to talk about these things breed resentment in their kids. The fact that y our dd asked the question speaks well for your relationship. I never would have even asked for a compromise growing up because there wouldn’t have been one. And yes, I was resentful 

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3 hours ago, perkybunch said:

Nike athletic shorts are the norm here.  My dd owns several pairs of these:

https://www.academy.com/shop/pdp/nike-womens-dry-tempo-shorts#repChildCatSku=109502400

They have a built-in panty, which helps them hang longer than they are.  The in-seam is technically 3", but with the panty, they sit a bit low and appear longer.  I encourage you to take your dd to Academy or somewhere similar and try these on.  You'll be surprised!

Also, some of them come with built-in bike shorts, making them even longer but still trendy.

These look very comfortable and loose fitting, a great compromise. I want to buy a bunch of these and time travel back 40 years and wear them for my high school and college sports practices. 🙂

Edited by Frances
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I had to buy DD 6 pair of running shorts for USCGA's summer program.  I think they all wound up being shorter than that, but all had built in underwear/bike shorts (I got several at Goodwill v. paying $20-30 for them).  DD actually runs into problems with shorts that are much longer flying up doing core work and other exercises requiring the legs to be overhead and found them more immodest/revealing because of it.  The only shorts she has that don't have built in "underwear" are part of her swim uniform (wears over a suit on the pool deck between races), or are simply for wearing out and about (not athletically).  

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How many other categories, style choices, etc is conformity to be encouraged, besides clothing?

Hair style, length, color? Make-up? 

Music choice, hobbies, extracurricular activities? 

Where is the line?

Everyone is doing it. No one cool is doing it. How is it helping young people find out who they are if we are so desperate to make them look like everyone else?

 

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26 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

How many other categories, style choices, etc is conformity to be encouraged, besides clothing?

Hair style, length, color? Make-up? 

Music choice, hobbies, extracurricular activities? 

Where is the line?

Everyone is doing it. No one cool is doing it. How is it helping young people find out who they are if we are so desperate to make them look like everyone else?

 

This is a little unfair. There are people for whom clothes matter. I have found with my girls (completely opposite in fashion sense) that freshmen want to look like everyone else and gradually by the time they are seniors have a look of their own. Even here, on a diverse board with grown women, there are threads about fashion and picking "in style" looks. 

Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. For my dd2, it has led to doing AP courses (even though they are extremely difficult for her with her LDs)- because all her friends are doing them, joining clubs even when it would easier to just go to swim team as her sole focus.

It is not shallow to care about fitting in to a new environment. Caring about clothes and makeup is not what makes a person shallow. Feeling out of place (which for a homeschooler new to ps high school- is a BIG DEAL) and wanting to at least look the same is normal and okay. From our dd2's experience, it was hard, hard and took nearly a year and half to find her social footing among kids who had always gone to school together. And this was for a gregarious social extrovert whose friends only recently believed that she was actually homeschooled. They thought she moved here from California.

 

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51 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

How many other categories, style choices, etc is conformity to be encouraged, besides clothing?

Hair style, length, color? Make-up? 

Music choice, hobbies, extracurricular activities? 

Where is the line?

Everyone is doing it. No one cool is doing it. How is it helping young people find out who they are if we are so desperate to make them look like everyone else?

 

It seems like the daughter here wants to conform here, no one is encouraging her to conform. This is for a PE class which probably meets a few hours per week, in that sense it seems pretty far removed from your other examples.

Personally, I’ve always chosen to dress modestly, even very modestly by the standards of many, and I just don’t see anything wrong with the original shorts. They are literally the same length as what we were REQUIRED to wear 40 years ago, but less revealing during exercise because they are rounded at the bottom rather than squared off. Getting some of the Nike ones with built in panties would seem to make them even more modest than some of the other looser fitting, longer styles which could expose things during certain exercises. During PE class they may not be as modest as when someone is just walking around in them.

Edited by Frances
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55 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

How many other categories, style choices, etc is conformity to be encouraged, besides clothing?

Hair style, length, color? Make-up? 

Music choice, hobbies, extracurricular activities? 

Where is the line?

Everyone is doing it. No one cool is doing it. How is it helping young people find out who they are if we are so desperate to make them look like everyone else?

 

I understand wheee you’re coming from.

But choosing conformity for oneself feels different for a teen than having nonconformity thrust upon you by a parent. 

We all would love for our kids to be naturally not concerned about fitting in. But some kids are super self conscious about such things. It seems rather...harsh to shrug and tell a kid that it doesn’t matter when in reality it does matter very much to some kids. I guess for us, we tried to allow our kids to conform in some areas that mattered to them (clothing styles) while holding the line on other things that mattered way more to us. (Media choices, not having phones at young ages, kerfew)

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5 hours ago, perkybunch said:

 

Also, some of them come with built-in bike shorts, making them even longer but still trendy.

Athletic shorts with built in bike short underneath is what my dd wore for years for her Irish dance classes, I thought they were a great compromise between freedom of movement/keeping cool and reasonable modesty for high kicks and such. 

Edited by maize
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The 2 public high school XC teams run in my area.  Those shorts are very commonly worn with a tank.  The boy cut briefs are also worn by a few girls with bra tops.  There are few girls who get a size bigger in the shorts posted and wear with a tank.  The private school (religious) running teams tend to also wear the shorts posted (usually Nike running shorts), but seem to not wear the boy cut briefs with bra tops.  So, I would say yes the running shorts are the norm for everyone.

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It's pretty common to wear Nike Pros (compression shorts/bike-type shorts) with the running-type shorts (or sometimes,  by themselves) at DD's gym. Some pairs have both layers built in-DD has several pairs from UnderArmor that do.  And having been on the floor of the gym and actually working out, I understand why the girls want the shorter shorts and tank tops or sports bra-type tops-it's HOT. And looser shorts without the layer underneath (or looser tops, for that matter) have a tendency to show things you might not want shown when you're tumbling and stunting.

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21 hours ago, KathyBC said:

Those would be typical, maybe on the more modest side here.
I take it volleyball is out then. 😝

My dd is in volleyball this year. Thankfully she was fine with the athletic spandex shorts with a 4 in inseam. Because those volleyball underwear shorts are unnecessary, in my 39 yo mom opinion. Ugh.

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3 hours ago, DesertBlossom said:

My dd is in volleyball this year. Thankfully she was fine with the athletic spandex shorts with a 4 in inseam. Because those volleyball underwear shorts are unnecessary, in my 39 yo mom opinion. Ugh.

 I agree. I find them unnecessary but not uncommon. 4” inseams on bike shorts are not long tho. They’re roughly the same as the shorts the OP linked without the skin tight factor. Lycra shorts ride up.

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On 8/23/2019 at 7:24 PM, Danae said:

What about wearing them with a pair of longer tight shorts (bike shorts) underneath?  I saw a pair the other day that was actually the two types sewn together -- dark purple bike shorts with shorter lavender shorts like the ones you linked.

Yes, Target has these and I really like them. They look like the shorter shorts that most of the girls are wearing, but there's a pair underneath that is more modest. https://www.target.com/p/girls-layered-run-shorts-c9-champion-174/-/A-54153671

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My girls are the ones asking for longer shorts.

My runner/tumbler doesn't like the built-in bike shorts or basketball shorts, so I try to find at least a 5" inseam for her in something else. When she finds something she likes that fits, the companies change the style for the next season to something else that she doesn't like & I have to go looking again.

My other two girls like 9-10" inseams but they are not running/tumbling - just walking/sitting. Tough to find when Bermuda shorts aren't in fashion.

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On 8/23/2019 at 11:06 PM, MissLemon said:

 

A lot of the girls and women around here (Texas) wear these shorts. No one looks dorky and no one's butt cheeks are hanging out. 

 

 

Honestly guys I thought we were long over the days of thinking "Everyone else does it" is a good reason to do something?

 

Not everyone in Texas wears these shorts. Some of us can't find shorts long enough to be comfortable so we actually wear pants everyday, even outside, even in 100 degree plus weather.

I prefer cloth to skin swiping against skin when I'm sweating.

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18 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

 

Honestly guys I thought we were long over the days of thinking "Everyone else does it" is a good reason to do something?

 

Not everyone in Texas wears these shorts. Some of us can't find shorts long enough to be comfortable so we actually wear pants everyday, even outside, even in 100 degree plus weather.

I prefer cloth to skin swiping against skin when I'm sweating.

I think it’s important to keep in mind that this is a few hour per week in a PE class for someone new to high school who doesn’t want to stand out as different. I think that’s quite different than everyday choices for older women.

I also never wear shorts, instead I choose capris or skirts. But I’m also not a teenage freshman girl in PE class.

Edited by Frances
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3 hours ago, vonfirmath said:

 

Honestly guys I thought we were long over the days of thinking "Everyone else does it" is a good reason to do something?

 

Not everyone in Texas wears these shorts. Some of us can't find shorts long enough to be comfortable so we actually wear pants everyday, even outside, even in 100 degree plus weather.

I prefer cloth to skin swiping against skin when I'm sweating.

 

What in the world?  I didn't say "everyone else does it, thus so should you".  I said "a lot of", based on what I've seen.  The shorts I was talking about are longer, basketball shorts like you can get at Academy.  They cover the butt completely and go midway down the thigh, depending on how tall you are.      

Good grief. 

Edited by MissLemon
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