Need Advice for Math and school in general...

[hisacorn]

Last year (10th grade) was extremely difficult. We were doing fine at first, then we had Hurricane Florence and we didnt' get back into a good rhythm after that. {We were not severely impacted as far as property, etc.}

My son has done Saxon Math since 7th grade. He has done well until this year. We can't really pinpoint where he got off track; I offered to get a tutor and he didn't want one. Then it all just got really hard in general: him not wanting to do much of anything, really. It's been like pulling teeth to get through school and chores for months. I am constantly on him, directing him, etc. and we both hate it.

I'd like advice for two things:

Where do we go from here as far as math? He has no idea what he wants to do after high school. He is smart and I feel he can do well in college if that's the path he takes. But he is struggling to finish up Alg 2 {Saxon} and I'm not sure whether to continue with Saxon or to move him to Teaching Textbooks. {My second oldest son who went to college moved to TT Geometry and Pre-Calculus for 11th and 12th grade and did ok. I asked him his opinion and he said it should be fine and to have his brother take an SAT prep course.} I get the whole "We all have to do things we don't want/like to do" line of thinking, and I do agree with it. But it's really become such an overwhelming issue I'm not sure it's a ditch I want to die in as I face 2 more years of high school.

Second, in general, any advice on making this a much better and peaceful year? I just can't do this anymore. It's a fight every single day to get him to do his work and do his best.

Thank you for any/all thoughts you can share.

[katilac]

I would switch the math, it will isolate an important variable (how much of his attitude is due to extreme frustration with math?). If he still struggles, the tutor is not optional, the work must be done. 

Does he have some outside activities? That's important for mood and for getting a break from family. This was not optional in our household, I even made one of mine attend some just-for-fun activities she would have passed on if left to her own devices. Everybody needs to get out of the house, including introverts. If they hate the activity, eh, they're back home soon enough. 

Does he get regular, hard exercise? Also important for mood, indeed crucial for many teens, helps improve learning as well.

Do you have a good schedule or routine? If you haven't had a good rhythm since Hurricane Florence, that was basically all of last school year. You may need to be more formal and deliberate about routines until you get going again. 

What are the consequences for not working? If he's balking, I would walk away until he was ready to work. If he's meant to be working independently, remind him that he needs to get at it and then leave. No moving on till the work is done: no video games, no baseball practice, no phone, no free reading, whatever. If he doesn't have anything to look forward to after his work is done, then that's very likely a big part of the problem. 

Throw the ball into his court. This isn't working, what do you suggest? 

If he continues to fight everything and won't work on a solution, are you willing to put him on the big yellow bus? If so, tell him. There's going to be some attitude and angst in the teen years, sure, but there is no way I would have homeschooled my kids if they were fighting me every step of the way. Education is important, but so is our relationship and my sanity. 

 

[hisacorn]

Katilac,

THANK YOU! This all makes sense, and goes in line with what was on my heart.

I've decided he will do TT Alg 2 and Geometry. Alg 2, so I can make sure the basics are covered.

His outside activities are all church related: youth group, student leader, and life group member. All these stop during the summer, except for a few youth get togethers. I've tried to get him involved in other things, but he resists. For the last year, his only real interests are video games {which I hate}, and skateboarding. Recently he decided that if he's required to wear a helmet, he won't skate. {eye roll}  I've encouraged him to get together with friends in person, but he doesn't follow up on it. I'm kinda at a loss. But I'm to the point where I'm going to require some of this stuff. Once, I made him go on a catamaran with friends {he didn't want to go} and he really enjoyed it. I've offered to take him to Hobby Lobby to explore hand crafts sort of thing. He is interested in making some bird houses, but that's dh's department and he hasn't followed up on it yet.
 

One of his electives this year is going to be Metal Work with a metal craftsman from our church. I'm hoping this will spark some creative interest.

I'm not sure what I will do if this continues. I don't know how our local high school schedules their classes, etc. I really hope it doesn't come to that.

Thanks again, so much!

 

 

 

 

[katilac]

20 hours ago, hisacorn said:

But I'm to the point where I'm going to require some of this stuff.  

You really should. Some teens don't want to do it, but like you said they wind up having fun (and being in a better mood!). 

Plus, even if you require the occasional thing he actually does not like at all, at least he tried it. It's not like you're taking up all his free time, especially as he's homeschooled.